Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Thats christmas over, watch out London!

Ok this is a long update so get comfy LOL.

Well christmas was lovely spent christmas day with my mum and had a lovely christmas dinner after opening all my presents from my family, christmas night went to helens where i had my second christmas in one day so it was a great day all round.

Boxing day was slightly different to christmas day, well for one i didn't get any presents although there was plenty of turkey but it was a great day of chilling out before heading off in to Carmarthen town to meet up with a few people for a great night of drinks and partying, or so i thought!

My night started off with a drink in a bar that all towns have got even Kalamaki , yes that traditional british bar the "rose & crown" on entering it was very busy and a nice bar, £5.60 for 2 drinks so again not to bad and a few seats available so the bar itself was fine. The people in this bar all seemed very nice and just out for a good night, so a big thumbs up from kevlar!

On to the second bar "Diablos" cocktail bar, this is the new jewel in the Carmarthen social scene "and our public survey says uuh, uurghh". As i walked in i thought what a lovely decor but a bit cramped. So on to the bar where i thought i would order 2 cocktails. After looking at the wide selection of just 8 cocktails none of which were popular ones i chose 2. After seeing the price of each cocktail £5.50, yes you did read that correct £5.50 so for those no good at maths thats £11 for 2 drinks, i thought i must be getting a gallon of it or having service like the Ritz Hotel, in fact i got neither. So i ordered a Bay Breeze and a Mojito and wow how amazing were these cocktails, its the first time i've ordered a cocktail and its tasted nothing like the cocktail its meant to be, GENIUS! Not only that but its also the first time i've seen Captain Morgans dark rum added to a Mojito with the mint, lime and sugar just thrown in a glass and stirred not even crushed together before going in the glass. My advice, get rid of the cocktails as they also took 3 times as long to make as any other cocktail bar i've been in. Kevlars rating, avoid it.

On to the third bar "The Queens" On stepping in to this bar i thought what a quaint theme pub and that theme being a cross between "The Woolpack" from Emerdale and the local pub in "Heartbeat" but no, thats what the pub was actually like. I don't think it had seen a refurb since Winston Churchill was in power and the TV in the corner of bar i think is well past its analogue sell by date as its remote control was in fact a stick that you pushed the channel buttons with. I was expecting to see Gary Sparrow walk in from "Goodnight Sweetheart" and start to give us a tune on the old piano but my Smirnoff and Sprite was served in a short glass which i like so one bonus point for that. Ideal pub for someone who's an older local remembering when it was all fields or if you got wellies and flat cap.

On to the fourth and final bar (thank god), "The Spread Eagle" now before i even entered this bar i instantly thought to myself this is the position the police put suspects in to pat them down when searching for weapons or drugs!!! As i walked in the woft of stale booze with the hint of sick hit me, so straight away i knew i was entering a classy place. Before i could even say "Hello, i'm Kevin" i was greeted by a wobbling young lady who was a family friend of Helens telling me she was coming on holiday to Zante and putting herself up in my apartment , how kind of her LOL. On to the bar where my shirt sleeves helped to mop up the spilt drink and my vodka was of the cheapest meths variety. I also found i think the only DJ in the world with no sense of music knowledge going from Katrina and the Waves "walking on sunshine" to Kings of Leon "sex on fire" to John Parrs "St Elmos fire" and being as 90% of the people in there were most probably born at the end of the 80's the last song out of those 3 would have been as well known as a book without Harry Potter in it or a written letter or in some cases even a pen. Only go here when your nearly drunk that way you won't care about what the bars like.

So to sum up Carmarthen for a night out in all honesty i'd say go to Rose & Crown then go to another town for the rest of the evening LOL.

The day after boxing day which i guess is bank holiday monday was a lovely day out. I woke up early and got dressed, of course i showered before i got dressed but after i woke as i'm not clever enough to shower while asleep and its difficult to shower when dressed. Out to Swansea we went and off the the cinema at midday to see Sherlock Holmes where i purchased 2 V.I.P. seats, 1 small popcorn and 1 small Zero Coke all for the rip off price of £21.60. On entering the theatre we found to American sized people sat in the seats next to ours with there feast to feed the 5000 stored on one of the seats i had selected. Now when i checked on the booking screen before i bought the tickets at the desk i made sure there was no one either side, in front or behind us who would spoil our viewing by getting in the way or having to hear someone grazing on crisps while slurrping on a Kiaora so the seats the American size couple were in should of been empty. Helen told them that the seat their meal deal for 20 was placed on was in fact ours they said it was taken so not to cause a fuss she sat down the other side of their personal store of pic n mix. 5 mins later a gentleman arrived the other side of them only to tell them that one of them was in his seat to which they then moved their mountain of survival food for 2 hours that would feed a small village in outer Mongolia for a week on to their laps. WHAT THE F*@$! So they lied about the seat was taken just so they didn't have to reach to far in to the many buckets they had but not only that they didn't pay the extra for the V.I.P. seats they were sat in. Its a good job Helen sat closest to them as i would have gone to toilet past them and accidently fallen in their laps. Anyway the film was great best of the ones i've seen this year, good storyline, well directed, well acted and the comedy was very subtle nothing stupid or slapstick, looking forward to the next installment, another big thumbs up from Kevlar!

After the film we went to "La Tasca" restaurant which i loved, we had Tapas and some Sangria so went spanish for a changed and it all tasted so good and will definately go again at some point. Then it was home to crash out for the evening, so in all its been the busiest christmas i've had in years and really enjoyed it and tomorrow i head off to London till the 2nd Jan so i will update when i get back from my invasion, sorry tour of London with a dodgy Danny Kaye Cockney accent.

Friday, 25 December 2009

Its Christmas!

A merry happy drunken christmas to you all.

Well i must have been a very good boy for santa this year as my presents were the best yet.
Santa didn't get stuck in my chimney as i haven't got one.
I had 3 walnuts that were put in a marbles bag so i guess its a 2 in 1 present which means i have to use the walnuts as marbles until i get bored then eat them.
A satsuma without mold on it, without pips in it and the skin polished to perfection.
A hessian sack to cut up and to line my soless boots.
But the icing on the cake this christmas for me was in fact the icing on the cake as last year there wasn't any.
My traditonal christmas dinner was better than even Heston Blumenthal could come up with, brown papper that tasted of a goose with fresh vegetable peel which included the skins of potatoes, carrots, parsnip and the outside leaves of sprouts all served on my lap.
So all together its been a great day so far and already counting down the days till next christmas.

Hope you all got what you wanted from the big man in red as i was very spoilt as you can see.


Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Merry Christmas to all my lovely customers, family and friends.

HO,HO,HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY LOVELY CUSTOMERS. (This saves a hell of alot on christmas cards)

Well its a cold, white and wet december with only 3 days to go till the big day but i have already had an early christmas present......crap factor is not No.1, WOOHOO! YABBA DABBA DO! LET THE BELLS RING OUT! UP YOUR WAZZOO SIMON COWELL! I like the 500,00 other people bought my copy of the classic Rage against the machines "Killing in the name" to help topple the evil Cowell and his dark empire of bland karaoke wannabe christmas number ones. Now don't get me wrong this has nothing to do with Joe Mcbigmac but i like the others were fed up with predictable christmas number ones from the crap factor. I in fact bought this song on its first release in 1992 along with their album (for those younger readers i have i'll explain, an album is what we used to buy to listen to songs on, before the CD, LOL) and i was playing rage against the machine at the rock club i worked in at the beginning of this year so i was promoting it 10 months ago haha!

All my presents have now been bought and wrapped, looking forward to christmas day to have the day off as its been a long hard physical 2 months at the store which has now taken its toll and feeling very tired, after all since May 4th i've only had 12 days off so its the first time i've been looking forward to a break, also really excited about going to London for new year as i've either DJ'd in a club or stayed in so it will be nice to get out have a meal and party at the Hard Rock.

I will update my blog every week from now till the start of the season so then we can all get excited about your holidays and we can all get built up until we're back on our beautiful island of Zakynthos.

Don't forget the Oceanic tour which in fact is kicking off in Carmarthen on Boxing day where we are meeting up with a few holidaymakers from this season, then London 30th Jan-2nd Dec followed by Dublin 5th-8th Feb after that Blackpool or Bury or Manchester in March not sure which yet as still looking at hotels with weekend offers for 3 nights but none available to book until after new year and then York at begining of April finishing with a weekend in Ilfracombe or Weston-super-mare before we fly out at the end of April.

Hope you all have a wonderful christmas and hope you don't have to much turkey and sprouts to get through. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

E-mail me on oceaniczante@hotmail.com

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

BA cabin crew strike, poor things, awwwww!

Well blow me down with a feather, BA cabin crew are going on strike for 12 days because of their jobs, pay and working conditions. GOD NO!

I agree with them completely!

After all look at the terrible uniforms they have to wear which is given to them, OUTRAGEOUS!

All that walking they have to do up and down the aisles, they must cover metres and metres, BLESS!

Wearing all that make up, must take them hours to trowel it on, must play havoc with their back and neck muscles all that weight, POOR THINGS!

Having to put on that fake stroppy attitude as though they're better than you cause they can push a trolley while saying "would you like any over priced drinks sir?", HEARTBREAKING!

The humiliation of not having to do the emergency procedure as now they show it on the planes TV's which gives them even less to do, I'M ALMOST IN TEARS!

And the final straw that broke the camels back the 2/3 day stop over in another country on a long haul flight, THATS IT I'M A CRYING WRECK!

You can see where they're coming from can't you after all nurses got it easy, a soldiers life is a walk in the park, miners don't even break in to a sweat, steel workers are having a laugh, police have got no pressure what so ever, teachers may as well not even be there as all pupils are such angels.

In case you don't know me that well i'm being sarcastic LOL.

There are plenty of people who would step in to their shoes in heartbeat and probably do a better job than alot i've met on flights with BA, in this dark age of recession they should be lucky that they've even got jobs and should be thankful they're only having hours cut not having the jobs taken away from them, and as for working conditions thats the biggest joke of all, its not like they were given the job, never shown a plane before then told "right thats a plane and your on it for 12 hours, get on with it" The job of cabin crew has been the same since air travel began in fact the conditions have got better, better seats, better uniforms, better food (just) and even on a 3 1/2 hour flight i've seen the cabin crew for the matter of 90 mins all together, thats not bad hours of work, then for the other 2 hours they talk about where they're going on their night off and which guy/girl they've decided to call up for a drink on the night out in question.

So stop being prima donnas, get back on those planes and stop making peoples lives a misery over the holiday season or we'll all make your life hell when you want to serve us mid air, VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

And so the Oceanic tour begins!

As promised i said there would be an Oceanic tour and i begin that tour in London on the 30th Dec till Jan 2nd, "KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN, KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN", Blimey just got off the dog and bone wiv the hotel geezer and got a blindin bargain for 3 nights including new years eve and breakfast included, £120, thats for all 3 nights not per night or per person, RESULT! To save taking the jam jar me and me bird booked a Pat Roach from Swansea to London return £24 per person, LOVELY JUBLEY! So its a bit of a spending spree, take in a show, new years eve night at Hard Rock Cafe then down to the Thames for the fireworks, "ROLL OUT THE BARREL". Taking a fair bit of bangers and mash to hit Arrods, get some jellied eels and visit the Michael Jackson Exhibition, "MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M A WOOLYBACK THAT I LOVE LONDON TOWN".

On to February (January is wallet recovery month LOL) and its over to sunny Ireland and Dublin thats Feb 5th till the 7th maybe 8th "TO BE SURE!" Bring on the Six Nations rugby, on the 6th Ireland play Italy at home (HOORAY) and Wales play England at Twickenham (BOOOOOO!) so that will be a great day "TOP OF THE MORNING TO YAH!" not sure of where we're staying yet maybe a hotel but may be staying with Helens brother, see what we decide. Think that will be a good weekend all round you may want to join us "GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON" lots of eating out and lots of real proper Guinness "DRINK, FEK, DRINK".

So if anyone would like to meet up with us on one of those days in London or Dublin at some point just e-mail me at my new e-mail address and i will give you all the details of where we're staying and what times we'll be around.

So now you have the start of the tour dates what else has been going on in the life of Kev, well i got the must have Go Go Hamster, see thats the plus point of working for the worlds biggest toy store. He is the most popular of the Hamsters and his name is Mr. Squiggles, aawwwwww! "Any takers, roll up roll up get your Go Go Hamster here".

Since i've been home i've been working 6 out of 7 days every week but one week they were kind enough to give all the night shift a night off, wow miracles do happen, well it is christmas after all. So i looked at what was going on and treated ourselves to a night in Cardiff with a Thai restaurant, a night in a hotel and the icing on the christmas cake, tickets to see Eddie Izzard in concert. I haven't laughed so much since watching Dumb and Dumber for the first time in Crete in 1995, my eyes were watering and my jaw was aching, absolutely brilliant, if you can get a hold of his "Stripped" concert on DVD for Christmas get it, i want a jazz chicken, you'll understand if you watch the DVD.

Well thats it for now but i will try to update my dull blog weekly from now on but i am very busy and tired now what with Santa being a right git getting us to do so much work and soon making us work 10 days straight through, you wouldn't believe what a nightmare boss he is. Oh yes, you just see the lovely gentle red suited old man with his groomed white beard and his "Ho Ho Ho" and "Merry Christmas everybody" when really he's a smelly, grotty, mince pie munching alcoholic who does one days work every year. Do you know why christmas only comes once a year? No, its not cause its the birthday of some guy called Jesus its cause little Saint Nic is to piddled to get off his fat ass to do anything until Dec 25th, why do you think Rudolph has a red nose? Its cause he's Mr. Christmas's drinking buddy.

Anyhooo time for sleep as just got in from my night shift, HAHA!

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

A christmas baby is born.

I'd like to congratulate my very best friends Thassos and Dimitra (Drunk Corner) on the birth of their baby girl this morning. I was on the bus home at 8am when i got a call from Thassos letting me know, now i won't talk on my phone in public and especially not on a bus but this was one call i've been waiting for so there was no way i wasn't going to answer it. Thassos said he was in space and didn't know what was happening, their baby girl was born fit and healthy and can't wait to see all 3 of them in April as myself and Helen had already started buying them baby things ready for the birth when we were on Zakynthos, wait till you see the baby in the guns n' roses babygrow i've bought it, (honest i have), myself and Helen will raise a glass to all 3 of you sunday guys, i'm so pleased for you, here's to good health and happiness your little girl will bring you. Yammas!

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Something to keep the winter blues at bay!

I was browsing around this thing called "the net" for some new comedy shows and after literally minutes of surfing on my interweb surf board i came across this website. When you watch it start with the Chad Vader training video then work your way down the page. I haven't laughed so much since Bruce Forsyth had his rug in for a wash and was wearing a baseball cap looking like fosslized break dancer on a live interview. Just click on the link, the sketchs are only 5 mins long so its a quick fun fix.


Monday, 23 November 2009

Well i guess christmas is almost here!

I started back in my winter job in the toy store on the 26th of Oct and even back then the christmas songs were playing which when your doing a 10 hour shift in an empty store its like torture, if ever i become a secret agent and i got captured they'd only have to play 15 mins of christmas songs and i'd be blurting out all the countries top secrets.

As you know i can't resist having a look through all the toys and have a little mess about with them but i happened to be sorting out the Playmobil stock and i think that the photographer for the box pictures had a adult sense of humour. Here are 2 pictures that i came across while at work.

I'm not sure what this farmer is intending to do with his hose but maybe his other hand is showing where it will be going.

I've never seen a vet holding a cat in the way this one is.

What has happened to the traditional christmas song that gets released and is No1 for christmas? Every year its been someone from the crap factor, i think the last real christmas song was released by The Darkness - christmas time (don't let the bells end) in 2003 but my nephew showed me a christmas song that The Killers released last year in america for charity which i think should be released here and may teach the little boys and girls to be good or you may end up with this santa which is in the video, anyway here's a link to the video.


YO-HO-HO everybody or is it BAH HUMBUG? LOL

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Season 2009 review, aww, i remember it well!

Hello all my lovely blog readers (all 3 of you) hope you've been patient waiting for my review, sorry its taken a while but been waiting for the post office to put my broadband on, they must have been on strike like the posties ah! So without further a do, here it is.

Well i arrived at Manchester airport to a frenzy of paparazzi attention and reporters "please no photographs or interviews, i will give a press release when i arrive on Zakynthos for my summer season", I was mistaken, they were there for Cannon & Ball who were doing a summer season in Blackpool. On arrival to Zakynthos i was amazed at the quiet surroundings that greeted me, something wasn't right. I took a walk to my bar and could here a strange noise that i hadn't heard since i was on Jurrasic park. Each step took me closer to the noise and there in front of me was a Tyrannosaurus Rex trying to uproot my Oceanic sign, this called for quick thinking. I called upon a power that i had resisted using many times "By the power of grey skull, I HAVE THE POWER!" A mighty battle followed with a somersault here and a roley poley there i faught with all my strength but the T-Rex was getting the better of me this called for drastic measures "Thunder, thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!" my sword grew and grew so i could strike at distance then when i had weakened the powerful T-Rex with a swish and a slash i plunged my sword up through its jaw till it fell lifeless on the patio of Oceanic.

Sorry that didn't happen that was fictional, but here is the factual review with a recap from January for my new blog readers.

I set up this blog as a true funny diary of my life on the island for my family and friends to keep up with what i'm doing but due to finding out i have many readers in the UK and on the island i now keep it going all year round and try to update it as often as possible. If there is any readers in the UK or business owners on the island that take offence to my way of writing then i apologise and i am more than happy for them to come and talk to me about it in Greece or in the UK or i'll go to see them as its not meant to offend anyone, i just write it as it is with no frills or exaggeration about how my bar is doing, if people don't like it there is an easy solution, DON'T READ IT! HAHA. But i will continue to write it.

Ok so here we are back in the Uk where its rained at some point every day since i got back and i'm back at my winter job as a merchandiser for the worlds largest toy store which i have been working for now for 9 years till Dec 24th.
At the start of 2009 in January i applied for 56 jobs in a month, i get bored you see as i work nearly everyday from mid April till end of Dec so when i'm doing nothing i go crazy. In February i took up 2 jobs one as a janitor in Tesco's during the day and the other as a DJ/barman in a rock club at night, both jobs i really enjoyed, as long as i'm working i'm happy and i'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, also you never know how long you'll have your job these days what with businesses going broke in the UK and everywhere needs a janitor so i'm better qualified now than most people LOL.
I stayed with these jobs till end of April and flew to Zakynthos in may, on arrival there was still signs of damage from the tornados that struck during the winter but the Oceanic was standing stronge even though it was one of the first buildings in Kalamaki. I stepped in to the bar and felt like i was finally home only to find that my menus, plastic ice cubes, zippo lighter and adjustable spanner had been stolen from where my doors were forced open during winter, this wasn't a big problem as i now use mineral water ice cubes, had new menus ready for season 2009, don't smoke and spanners are dirt cheap. Within 14 hours of landing my bar was ready for opening. From the 4th day of opening i was up and running fully and hitting my targets which i had set in a business plan for the season, OH YES, its not just open the bar and away i go, i work out a business plan every season with stats taken from previous seasons and realistic views on tourism. Here is what i mean by my stats i take and work around.
This season i was open for 168 nights and was full at some point during the night for 142 of those nights with 31 of those nights having to borrow extra seating as i had run out, i may be full at 8pm, another night 10pm, the next 11pm but no where is full from doors open to doors close thats just not realistic. With a resort that when full is said to hold 4000 tourists in all (so i was told) at any one time, my bar has 40 seats so that means i only need 1% of the resort to be full so that leaves 3960 tourist for the rest of the resort, so with there being 24 other bars open this season (this does not include hotels and restaurants with bars) this leaves 165 tourists per bar, now i know it was a very quiet season for Kalamaki so lets say it was half full 2000 tourists at any one time that still leaves 81 tourists per bar, see i'm a bit of a swat when it comes to business stats but again thats just tourists per bar i do know that a few just drink in their hotels or restaurants but most visit the bars.
The most popular cocktail of this season has to be one of my own creations the "Lemon Cheesecake cocktail" this cocktail takes 24 hours to prepare and i was amazed that so many were ordered in advanced and no i don't take a pre-payment i trust my customers 100%.
Again my Haribo gummy alcohol sweets went down very easy and with a few they have now started making them at home which is great that my customers are taken something away from my bar to use.
All my customers again were great, every night was a joy to work and really fun. When i set up this bar i didn't have any idea how popular it would become but i think thats down to the fact that people like to chat and have a laugh and thats exactly what you get with Oceanic, its a social chill out bar with only the best quality spirits used in every drink made at a very reasonable price for the size measures you get. I'm not trying to be greedy wanting lots of money and material things, i'm not in to flash cars or bikes or designer clothes and bling, in fact the 3 motorbikes i've bought come to as much as one half decent bike they were that cheap, all i set out to do was make enough to pay my bills and have food in my cupboard at home as its the lifestyle i like, the sun, pools, beaches and most of all the beauty of the island outside of the resorts.
This season it was nice to see 50% of my customers were first time visitors to Oceanic and 20% were first time visitors to the island with all saying they'd come back next season which is great for Kalamaki so lets hope the £ goes up to the € and the tour companies are reasonable with holiday prices. There has been lots of talk about the budget airlines but again before we all go getting to excited this will only bring another 480 seats which doesn't mean an extra 480 new tourists to the island and after every 20 seats are sold the price increases so yes the first few are dirt cheap but then the price rises. I checked prices with Easyjet and Thomson to fly to Corfu last week of Oct Easyjet was £168 for a weeks return Thomson was £98 for same day flight, same airport and same duration so it is all a matter of checking around every day. I remember in 2005 i bought my flight to Athens one way with Easyjet and it was £80, 2 weeks later it was £220. So we'll wait to see how this pans out in 2010.
This season also saw alot of businesses struggle and some even close which is an awful thing to see and i sympathize with the families that were running the businesses as its never nice to see a business close down also its better to have a lively vibrant resort than one full of empty units.
Towards the end of the season i was still hitting target even up to my final night and like the 2 seasons previous in the last week i only opened 8-midnight to give myself a little holiday and time to visit my friends who own bars in the resort and have a drink with them as they were always closed by the time i closed my bar during the season due to most nights closing 3.30am and at the latest 7am, that was a heavy night so thanks Dez.
All season it was an amazing season and by the end my season was 30% better than 2008 and 2007, as before i am realistic and success never lasts forever in this business which i've been in for 25 years now but i take it a day at a time and enjoy each day as it comes as you never know whats going to happen the next day.
Also this season i have been very involved with Tripadvisor website where i have been named an expert for the island along with Lyndylou and Kazpuk, over 2 seasons i have answered 2084 tourists questions with advice about Zakynthos also it doesn't harm getting a few extra visitors to my bar from the site haha, but i'm not allowed to advertise blatantly so i don't but i do get asked where my bar is which i am allowed to answer and use this blog as a link to advice which i am also allowed to do but which i can't post on the site itself, now i'm not doing anything that any other business owner can't do but the difference is i choose to do it and give up a few hours of my day for free to try to help tourism to the island.
On another matter at the end of the season it all got a bit childish on a certain website and facebook with regards to my bar and myself, i'm not on a certain website and i don't have a facebook account anymore (well i just opened one for 5 mins to post on oceanic facebook page) but i was told of what was said and i'll say this to these people, there a more importnat things in life to get on with than bad mouthing me and my bar from behind your keyboard and if there isn't then i feel sorry for you. They seem to think that i think of myself as lord high almighty but if you've read my blog properly or met me you'll see i never take myself serious and make a joke of my appearance, but saying that i did have stigmata once.....sorry i've just been corrected it was taramasalata.

So in a nutshell thats it so far for 2009, don't forget the Oceanic Awards in February and also there is a Oceanic tour in Feb, March and April where i may be staying in a town near you so far on the tour list is Dublin, York, London, Blackpool and the south west (not sure where yet) dates TBA but basically i'll let you know where i am and the date and if you want to meet up for a drink then thats cool the more the merrier i say, we can sit outdoors on a sofa and reminisce on the nights in Oceanic while it rains and we freeze to death LOL. I'll be staying from a Fri-Mon so the Sat of that weekend i'm there will be the night out.

I'd like to thank every customer old and new for visiting and making season 2009 through the roof, also thank you for all the presents, cards and e-mails for my birthday it was very kind of you. Also a big big thank you for all the food parcels brought out to me, my cholesterol is now sky high due to all the black pudding mmmmm lovely.

This has now just taken me 2 hours to type out due to not wanting to offend anyone hehe!

TH-TH TH-TH THATS ALL FOLKS! (for now anyway)

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Watch out UK, I'm back!

Well i'm now back online as of today and was back to work 2 days after i landed so my full update and review of the season will be here tomorrow as to tired at the moment after finishing work at 8am this morning so trying to catch up on some ZZZzzzz's. So heres a pic of just a part of the store that i manage. Look at all those lovely toys, Santa's little helper and before you say anything yes i know i'm short but i'm not an Elf and green tights don't suit me LOL.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Gone fishing!

Well i haven't actually gone fishing but in the old films when a shop or store closed they used to put up the sign "gone fishing" so thats what i did, sign says "Gone fishing, see you in 2010".
Well its a sad day when i close up which i did at the end of monday night, i was still doing my target even up till the last night but its been such a busy season i decided to have 5 days holiday on this beautiful island before i go home to my winter job which i have also had for 9 years.
Had a nice little flurry towards the end of the season thanks to holidaymakers reading an old topic about my bar on a website being brought back to light, so people decided to drop by after reading it and said they were glad they saw it as they enjoyed Oceanic so i have to say a big thank you to Chris for resurrecting the topic and promoting my bar on the site when he didn't have to, thanks buddy next time your in Kalamaki come and have a popular lemon cheesecake cocktail in my bar, i'll pay, it was nice to have new customers so near the end of the season.
Well almost time to head home and when i get there i will add another topic of places to visit as i did another tour of the island yesterday and then my final honest review of the season, keep reading and be lucky folks!

Saturday, 10 October 2009

All good things must come to an end!

Well 2 more weeks and thats season 2009 over with which is a shame as its been a amazing season for Oceanic, it is alot quieter now but then again it is mid october and no one is busy anymore in the resort including myself and businesses are closing every major change over day. Saying that i'm still hitting my target every night and sometimes double it so i count myself very lucky, as long as i'm reaching my target i'm very happy and can now just relax and enjoy the rest of the season with everybody paid up full since end of sept and can leave this beautiful island not owing a single cent to anyone plus a bit of winter pocket money for myself and 2 new motorbikes. There will be a full in depth honest review of my season as always after i get home but until then i'm off to the pool to top up my tan as its been lovely and hot here the last week. YEEHAA!

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Places to visit when on Zakynthos part 2.

Well my partner Helen has been here for 2 weeks so it was a good excuse to get myself out around the island and show some more of the beautiful places this wonderful island has to offer.

First of all we'll start in Zakynthos town on the "Alexander Roma" strip with a coffee shop called "Prosa" it has seats oytside but up a narrow staircase you then enter a cafe bar with a lovely balcony with a great view to sit and watch the world go by.

On to the port road in Zakynthos town and up to the rooftop of the Strada Marina Hotel where you can have a coffee or ice cold beverage and look out across the port and coastline of Argassi, the rooftop is only open for drinks June-Sept but you can still get up to the roof outside these months.

So now we head out of town towards Keri and on to Agalas where you will find the Andronis wells or Venetian wells as they're better known. The picture doesn't do them justice but when your there it is in a lovely location with 10 wells and one you can get water from with a bucket and try for yourself.

Heading back along the cliff edge road from the wells if you look over to your left you will see in the mountain side "Damianous Caves" which people refer to as the diamond caves.

There are 4 caves in all but only 2 are accessable to get in to without a climb

Up above the caves there is a little snack bar where there are some stunning views of the coastline towards Keri.

From Agalas head up the west side of the island which in my opinion is beautifol and the best part of Zakynthos where you will come across Kampi which is the ideal place to watch the sunset, here you will also find the memorial cross for the lives that were lost during the civil war.

This is the view from Kampi out across the centre of the island.
Continue on to Exo Hora where you will find the oldest olive tree on the island which is estimated to be over 2000 years old also it is said that if you kiss the tree it will bring you good luck.

Towards the very north of the island you will come to Porto Vromi which is a little coved beach where you can pay to get a small boat around to the shipwreck without having to go on an island tour.
Now we head to the most famous picture that you see on all the postcards, The Shipwreck, the viewing platform can get pretty busy during the day so its best to get there before 10am so you got some tiome to yourself to take in the amazing view.

From the viewing platform we now go for lunch at St. Nicholas port in a little taverna that is on the sea edge where they have charcoal grill alight all day to cook fersh meat and fish, very relaxing and a great little port.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

What, rain? Here? on the island of Zakynthos? surely not!

Yes there god damn is. 3 out of the past 4 nights has been monsoon season and the days grey and cloudy. Now for me i don't mind as i haven't seen rain for 5 months and it feels good falling on my balding head, for business it has also been good as people don't leave, i guess you could call it "natures imprisonment" haha but for the poor tourists its bad, who packs a brolly or a pac-a-mac when going to a sunny greek island? well it seems a few do, so i guess these people were either girl or boy scouts in their youth "ALWAYS BE PREPARED".

Well the bar is now back inside set up for the colder nights and it will soon be time to test the outdoor heaters, the outdoor walls are being delivered as we speak, well as i type and the sofas are in under the roof so its all nice and cosy.

I had a visit from the most famous english greek dancer while he was on Zakynthos for his holidays he drank in my bar every night with his partner and his friends Stan and family, i felt honoured to have such a high profile celebrity drink in my bar for 14 nights, he kept a low profile as you could understand as not wanting to be bothered for autographs but he has given me permission to air fo free his latest show, so i present to you Stan and Ken " Lord of the Prance"

Stan dances first then the master at work ken will entertain you. Enjoy.


AMAZING, i think you'll agree, such grace and style, BRAVO!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Help, help call the police!

Well you wouldn't believe it, i went to wash and polish my bikes earlier and there were my bikes with all their tyres let down, OH NO! wheres columbo when you need him. The thing is they are parked away from the pavement so someone had to purposely walk about 20m to under my apartment and take time to let all 4 tyres down, so i used my native american instinct and followed the foot tracks which led me to my apt, BUGGER! they were my footprints, so i found a strand of hair which traced bag to Tiddelos the landlords cat, DAMN! but no matter i have a foot pump so both bikes are back in action and now clean also.
I could point the finger, lay the blame but its not worth it really, i keep myself to myself every season, keep my head down and work damn hard, don't bad mouth other businesses, in fact i promote other businesses in my bar, on websites and on my own blog, i guess thats why i've been full 90% of the season as you don't get moans and back stabbing from me and jealousy can be a horrible thing. Last season my bike got damaged 3 times while parked in the same place but hey let them carry on, it will all come out in my autobiography, a gripping read i can assure you with some shocking truths about life on this island LOL.

So on to more drama in my life, on Tuesday at about 8pm a little puppy who i named "Pup Pup" wandered inside my bar a promptly sat herself on my kitchen floor where i played with her for a few seconds before finding out where she had come from. After visiting a few businesses i found out that a tourist had been looking after her and they had called the ZAWF (zante animal welfare) 3 times to collect her or to at least see her only to be told they were full and no one would come out to see her. I asked the tourist to look after her till i closed my bar and i would sort something out. At 3.30am she was delivered back to me, off to my apt with PupPup zipped up in my jacket, head poking out as i try to ride my motorbike. Once inside my apt out come all my shoes, tennis ball, plastic bags as she wanted playtime and the barks began so off back to bar so i didn't wake my neighbours, i stayed awake all night in the bar playing with her till she fell asleep until 10 am when i took her to the vet, the vet couldn't take her to put in window as she was to old a puppy, the ZAWF were already out of the question and i wish i could have kept her but i'm just to busy and couldn't leave her at apt. I remembered a house i'd seen near Lithakia that had a big garden and 4 dogs all roaming free with kennels, proper eating and drinking water bowls and a high mesh fence, off i went to find it. When i got there the dogs all still looked happy and healthy so i dropped Pup Pup over the fence and waited to see if they would take to her, luckily they all made a fuss of her and played with her, so i turned away and left her with her new friends. I felt very sad when i got home and had heavy guilt but she has a better chance there than if i'd let her to roam free on the streets and there is no way i could have lived with myself knowing she was alone on the streets somewhere but i hope now she has a family who will care for her.

PupPup having a chew on a stick

PupPup decided my thumb was better than a stick

PupPup getting sleepy after being all chewed out

Sleepy time for PupPup (6.15am)

Well i'm in the home stretch of the season now but i could easily close now, everyone paid up full, have 6 weeks holiday the season has been that kind to me but once again its not me that makes the bar what it is its my customers who have all been lovely and enjoyed the fact that they have a bar that they can socialize in again instead of being fixed to TV's or loud music and entertainment being forced on to them when sat in a bar. I'm not saying this is a bad thing as everyone likes different types of bars but in these times with financial and personal difficulties its good to talk and have a laugh with people you've only just met, its like a breath of fresh air in your social life and worries get left behind for that brief moment while on your holidays, so once again a big thank you to all who have visited Oceanic and made it what it is,the most chilled out bar in Kalamaki.

Friday, 11 September 2009

Let me introduce you to my babies.

Well i always said that once i had 3 babies i would stop as thats as many as i wanted (not myself having them of course that would be gross) but last week my final baby girl was delivered so nows the time to show you all my 3 babies.

First of all "Renegade" she's the oldest at 5 years, she can be a bit slow at times but has never let me down and has always been there for me no matter what i've asked of her, she has never been poorly sick and i can count on her 100%.

Next is "Ghost" she is 3 weeks and 4 days old, we are very distant at the moment but it will take time to get to know her but we have plenty of time through the winter so i will handle her with care.

Then the new edition to the family "Virago" who is greek and is 9 days old, She is very quick a bit like her dad and also strong, she likes to get out as much as possible but i do have to show "Renegade" some attention so they take it in turns to come with me to the bar, so my family is now complete, next i may adopt a boat and gonna call her "Dignity", sounds like a good line for song LOL.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

I've found "The Holy Grail", no sign of a bike though.

Well would you believe it, i thought i would have found a second hand cruiser bike out here by now but no,in fact its that rare that before i've found a bike i come across "The Holy Grail" and even that was a disappointment as its meant to be a gold vessal that jesus and his disciples drank from during the last supper when in fact it was just a clay mug with "WORLDS BEST BOSS" carved on it, so the search continues today in Alykes which is the last main resort at the north of the island. Been messed about with a few bikes so gave up on them as wasn't worth the hassle but todays another day.

As for the bar well, well, well, a busy august is the understatement of the year, my lemon chessecakes which have to be pre-ordered a day in advance are going out at 6 cocktails a day which is good going when you got to wait 24 hours for it and i'm going through so many barrels of Mythos lager you'd think George Best and Oliver Reed were on a jolly boys holiday (god rest their drunken souls), my body is starting to ache a bit (well i am 41 this year, no comments please) but i wouldn't have it any other way and will continue to work the bar alone. On saturday i beat my records night takings since i opened 3 years ago, in fact i blew it away but boy was i tired, my little feet were red hot and if running to the supermarket for supplies was a olympic sport i'd have the gold medal, 25 seconds, thats 40 metre sprint including finding the item in the shop and paying, i think you can see that i may be the fastest man on the planet LOL.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Make TEA a class "A" drug.

Over the years i have found more and more people becoming addicited to a little known drug called "TEA". There have been reports of people even taking the risk of smuggling their own pouches of the drug on to the island in things which are called "TEA BAGS", like all well known drugs it has its variation of names, Earl Grey (a very potent mixture) Camomile (a devious blend) Oolong (a lethal leaf) Tetley (makes you hallucinate and see tiny men in cloth caps} and the most sinister of all PG Tips (this makes monkeys talk).

I've heard a lady in her late 70's explaining to me that she can't start her day without her fix of "TEA" and that the tea in greece doesn't taste the same as at home, obviousley this lady has a dealer she uses back in the uk. I was shocked when one of my customers told me they have at least 20 cups of tea a day which is a very lethal dose for most people but he had been hooked on the drug for 40 years and even said it tastes better when he uses his own mug. One addict even went as far as to use the leaf direct from something called "a pot" without the aid of a tea bag and warms up the cup first before he pours it out. What next i ask myself will they start to inject or snort the dry leaves as "making a brew" takes to long.

These are very worrying times for the younger generation when they see their parents and grand parents all sitting round a table sipping at this drug and after the first hit hearing those words "Ahh, thats much better" as they fall in to a state of relaxation.

To try and attract people of a younger age they now sell this hard core drug in amusing shaped bags originally in a square bag which due to its shape gave many people in their sleepy morning state problems when trying to fit it in to their round mug, the dealers decided to make a "CIRCULAR" bag (the bloody scoundrels) this meant it would fit very easily and would lead to more fixes being had during the day, then the master plan formed "THE PYRAMID BAG" (bastards, excuse the language) this would let the drug release its toxic flavour more easily and save seconds off the brewing time when needing a quick fix before the police ram raid your door.

This drug is already leading to bigger and more hardcore versions of the drink, some with slices of lemon, milk and even sugar. As with all drugs there is a thing called "The Munchies" but the social drug now has a partner in crime "The Biscuit" which combats the munchies. Where will it end? How many lives must this drug take over before steps are taken to make it a class A drug? How many cows have to be drained before we say we've had enough? How many people have to suffer back injuries from picking the leaf? I say strike now, lets all join together and help these poor addicts, forget Red Nose Day, forget Children in Need, lets support "Tea relief" The slogan for this campaign is "pick life not a leaf", please help where you can, thank you.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Dear blog, its been 3 weeks since my last entry, forgive me. HAHA!

Well its about time i pulled my finger out and gave you lovely people an update in whats going on with Zakynthos and Kalamki and me of course.

So lets start with Zakynthos, its sunny, very hot, full of italian and greek tourists, roads have doubled in traffic and sales of coffee have gone up so much it may put Starbucks out of business LOL.

Kalamaki is very quiet of british tourists the larger pools are half empty with sunbeds, bars (from what i'm told) have very little people in them but the restaurants are busy, 3 more businesses during the season have closed and anyone even thinking of opening a new business next season must be a mad as a the mad hatter at a mad maniacs mad society meeting, its financial suicide.

As for me its been amazing, have to admit been quiet last week but still hitting target and had 3 nights out of 7 last week capacity compared to every night the weeks before but lets just say if i was to close tomorrow my season would be paid up full and still got 2 and a half months to go.

I forgot to tell you i have a new partner and her name is Helen, she's welsh (don't hold it against her) and she speaks welsh so i have to carry a packa-mac with me wherever we go just in case we meet some other welshys and they start talking in welsh and i get covered in flem with all the hacking and fuffing they do. She came out a couple of weeks ago for her birthday, got her a nice cake, bottles of champagne, did i get any, NO, not a crumb or a drop but all my customers did, its ok didn't want any anyway LOL.

Well i'm on the hunt for a new cruiser motorbike out here as its getting more difficult having a bike with english plates, been everywhere looking for one and its bloody hard work, i go in to a shop and say "I want to buy a second hand bike" no response, " i want to buy an used bike" no response, "i want to buy an old bike" the shop owner replies "your in the wrong place, this is a fruit and veg shop" LOL, just kidding but i did get a reply to my questions i just mentioned and the reply was " sorry we don't buy used bikes" they thought i wanted to sell mine. so as you can see its a bit frustrating, although i am going to see one tomorrow but not holding my breath if you could see the state of the used bikes parked outside these shops they look old enough that Hercules could have owned it.

Some good news in the UK on the bike front is i've bought one for when i'm back in the winter, got an absolute bargain and its fully working and in mint condition.

As you can see i've gone for something that will blend in to the traffic and won't stand out LOL Ghost rider with Nicholas Cage comes to mind, can't wait to ride it, go on guess how much i bet you can't.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Help the aged!

A wise person once wrote a review about my bar even though they didn't actually enter it saying and this is copied and pasted from the original review " This was the meeting place for the OAP's. We gave it a miss. ", So just to confirm this fact i thought i'd show you some regular OAP customers to my retirement home, sorry i mean bar.

This group of SAGA holiday makers had a great time in Oceanic playing Dominos, talking about the good old days and enjoying their first holiday abroad as they had always gone on holiday in a touring caravan with the little Morris towing it or Butlins Western-super-mare where they could sit and watch a brass on the sea front, well done you lovely bunch of oldies you did well in the heat and to stay up till 4am without needing a nap.

These energetic old timers were celebrating their 200th wedding annivesary and even brought their parents along but at this stage of the night their parents had gone to Rescue Club in Laganas so we shared a hot coco together and sang Vera Lynn songs till there were blue birds over the white quarry of Mount Skopos. Oh by the way you forgot your Olivia shower gel and olive pate, you left it on the sofa, i'll keep it for you till next year, the mind is forgetful when you reach 221 years old.

This pair of old buggers could remember when Zakynthos was actually joined to mainland without any sea between they had been coming here that long and Achilles run a little taverna where my bar used to be before he went off to Troy, the fun nights they used to have with him drinking nectar from a sheeps bladder drinking bag, those were the days eh!

This lovely family have been using the swimming pool from the film "Cocoon" that is in fact the pool at the Plubis Apts, their combined age is over 3000 but due to this pool with its healing powers which i use myself on regular occasions they look like your modern day youthful family enjoying a night on the tiles, you rascals you!

And finally these old farts and i mean that in a loving joking way would sit there all night, sucking on their gums after i'd given them a dish of peanuts and their nightly glass of sterident to "plink, plink, fizz" the night away as their dentures soaked ready for the next day and thank you for showing me your pictures of your previous holidays on the island, i liked most your cave drawings you did of dinousars on kalamaki beach before the camera was invented, you both look amazing for your age.

So now you can see for yourself that my bar is absolutely full of OAP's you can make your own mind up. So come on in and have a hot chocolate, biscuit and a Werthers Original with me as we swap stories of years gone by.

Oh by the way before anyone goes off on one on a review page or website all the people in these pictures know they will be on here for this topic about OAP's in my bar and found it hilarious that someone actually said that, don't take life to serious folks, lifes hard enough as it is.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Hi Guys! We've reached the half way stage.

Well doesn't time fly when your a busy busy bee (thank you Arthur Askey), Season is still going at 100mph which i didn't expect as July and August are my quiet months so i find myself in a fortunate position of still having a busy bar most nights of the week even though drinking trends have changed now with it being so hot people are not starting to go out till 10.30-11.30pm, so a big big THANK YOU to all my customers who have already visited and enjoyed the bar and any criticism that you may have please feel free to let me know while your here as i always ask my customers if their drink is ok and if not i will exchange it without charge for another drink no problem as i don't want my customers to suffer with a drink they don't like, no point in waiting till you get home then moan about it on a website as i might be able to solve the problem there and then if you let me know, i'm not a monster, i'm just a short assed welsh balding git but a loveable one HAHA!

So here is a quick review of the season so far, bar busy, season has totally blown me away so far, Customers have been better than ever and all wonderful, dessert cocktails are going down a storm, connect 4's are being enjoyed by all ages, my Haribo alcoholic sweets are now becoming world famous and my little legs are getting shorter each day with all the running around i'm doing but i wouldn't change it for one second as i love it and hopefully that transfers to the customers.

During my daytimes i find little things starting to bug me and need to know the answer to a few questions for these things:-

1/ Who told the non-British/Irish tourists that its a good look to wear a pair Speedos, flip flops and bum bag around the streets of the resort?

2/ Why do i always end up with a sunbed next to an elderly eastern european lady that every time she bends down to adjust her sunbed she farts in my direction?

3/Do the 18-30's think its something new or cool beeping a horn on a little honda shopping scooter when going 20mph down the Kalamaki strip with a crash helmet that makes them look like a mushroom?

4/The female form in a bikini is a beautiful sight by a pool but why do they wear it from the pool to go shopping around the resort constantly pulling the cheese wire from between their bum cheeks?

5/Why do people laid around the pools complain about it being to hot when there are shaded areas or rooms to sit in? YOUR IN GREECE! LOL

I've decided that when the seasons over i'm going go to Italy, Poland, Croatia or wherever and wear sloppy Y-fronts around the city centres but i need to get a beer belly first to hang over the top and see if anyone thinks its alright.

This season i have been amazed at how many people read this serious blog of mine. I feel very honoured by you readers taking time to read over the dribble i write on here but i enjoy writing it so i'm glad it gives you a giggle through the summer and winter months by not taking myself to serious. As long as your reading it i'll keep writing it, well as long as i've got fingers anyway.

I am so glad i have the bar that i set out to open 16 years ago, yes 16 years its taken me to get to where i am and have had this idea of this very bar in my head all that time, this hasn't been a flash in the pan and i've worked long and hard to be at the point i am today and i'm still working hard every night, i have no staff or help and do everything myself from the table service of the cocktails to cleaning of the toilets when the bars closed, no entertainment, no gimmicks, no tv's, thank god no tv's cause its just cricket and golf at the moment and how dull are they i'd prefer to watch a year of a open university course about belly button fluff than watch a second of either of those two sports, if you can call them sports. Don't get me wrong people who enjoy them thats fine, whatever floats your boat but roll on the rugby and football season so i can watch a real sport on saturday afternoon to break up my week. The comment i have heard the most is that my bar looks like it will be expensive to drink in but once your in there you'll be surprised at my and most probably the best value in the resort for what you get.

As i say to my customers its just a plain, simple, friendly bar to bring back the art of socializing which is being lost these days at home and abroad due to TV's and loud music. The bars nothing special and i'm nothing special but its you the customers that make Oceanic special as you come in all strangers but you leave as friends with the other customers you meet while here.

Here's to the second half of the season, yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaa!

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Who fancies a dessert?

Good day to you my fine blog followers, "where you been?" i hear you cry, well busy is the answer, busy going to pool, busy going to the beach, busy going for nice meals, busy going for nice rides on my bike and busy eating lobster (more about all that in another post).

The Oceanic is still going well although the past week has gone a bit quieter on the Old Kalamaki road more 18-30's and eastern europeans than couples and families from the UK but July and August aren't really my months, i'm very lucky in having May, June, Sept and Oct as busy months where other bars have only July and Aug as their main season so i can't grumble.

The Kev's Unique cocktail range is growing with the addition of the "Comfortably Numb", Cherry Bakewell, Black forrest Gateaux and Lemon Cheesecake. These cocktails you will only find in Oceanic as i'm the only one sad enough to work on new cocktails LOL. I can't go in to to much detail with regards ingredients as its "TOP SECRET" like Colonel Sanders Kentucky Fried Chicken, well in fact its nothing like Kentucky Fried Chicken as thats a greasy coating with dried up chicken under it, dropped in a box to soak through the bottom and leave a horrible stain on your jeans when eating it at 4am in the morning on a bench by cardiff city hall, my cocktails are the opposite, lovely tasting alcohol based delights that slide down your neck then hit the neural centre of your brain to make you giggly and light headed, which can also lead to sitting on a bench by cardiff city hall at 4am, anywhooooo here are some pics of the new lovelys i've come up with.


I didn't bother taking a pic of the other 2 cocktails as they look pretty boring it would be like putting a Cheeky Girl next to Angelina Jolie, pointless! HAHA!

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

"A change is as good as a rest!"

Well what can i say "I'm Pooped!" Its been an amazing May, best start to a season i've ever had even when i was at Tropicana, Capacity bar most nights even when it rained, lovely company, great customers and fun chilled out nights, you would never think there was a credit crunch. My bar always does well in May and gets quieter in june but at the moment there is no let up so i feel very lucky to be having such a good start.

Well i thought it was time for a change as i don't get any rest LOL. On sunday i decided to re-design the bar and put a bar outside and build a cocktail prep area inside, started at 8am, finsihed at 6.10pm and opened at 7pm, worked non stop through the day and i think now the bar is better than ever. Would like to thank my best mate Dez for helping to build the inside cocktail prep area in the afternoon. So here is a picture Gallery of Before and After.










02/06/09 INSIDE VIEW
Well there you go folks thats the picture tour and you can see whats waiting for you, still the only true Chill Out bar in Kalamaki with no tv's, no gimmicks and no hassle, you just sit back relax and watch me run around like a headless chicken haha but i wouldn't have it any other way, I LOVE IT!