Sunday, 26 July 2009

Help the aged!

A wise person once wrote a review about my bar even though they didn't actually enter it saying and this is copied and pasted from the original review " This was the meeting place for the OAP's. We gave it a miss. ", So just to confirm this fact i thought i'd show you some regular OAP customers to my retirement home, sorry i mean bar.

This group of SAGA holiday makers had a great time in Oceanic playing Dominos, talking about the good old days and enjoying their first holiday abroad as they had always gone on holiday in a touring caravan with the little Morris towing it or Butlins Western-super-mare where they could sit and watch a brass on the sea front, well done you lovely bunch of oldies you did well in the heat and to stay up till 4am without needing a nap.

These energetic old timers were celebrating their 200th wedding annivesary and even brought their parents along but at this stage of the night their parents had gone to Rescue Club in Laganas so we shared a hot coco together and sang Vera Lynn songs till there were blue birds over the white quarry of Mount Skopos. Oh by the way you forgot your Olivia shower gel and olive pate, you left it on the sofa, i'll keep it for you till next year, the mind is forgetful when you reach 221 years old.

This pair of old buggers could remember when Zakynthos was actually joined to mainland without any sea between they had been coming here that long and Achilles run a little taverna where my bar used to be before he went off to Troy, the fun nights they used to have with him drinking nectar from a sheeps bladder drinking bag, those were the days eh!

This lovely family have been using the swimming pool from the film "Cocoon" that is in fact the pool at the Plubis Apts, their combined age is over 3000 but due to this pool with its healing powers which i use myself on regular occasions they look like your modern day youthful family enjoying a night on the tiles, you rascals you!

And finally these old farts and i mean that in a loving joking way would sit there all night, sucking on their gums after i'd given them a dish of peanuts and their nightly glass of sterident to "plink, plink, fizz" the night away as their dentures soaked ready for the next day and thank you for showing me your pictures of your previous holidays on the island, i liked most your cave drawings you did of dinousars on kalamaki beach before the camera was invented, you both look amazing for your age.

So now you can see for yourself that my bar is absolutely full of OAP's you can make your own mind up. So come on in and have a hot chocolate, biscuit and a Werthers Original with me as we swap stories of years gone by.

Oh by the way before anyone goes off on one on a review page or website all the people in these pictures know they will be on here for this topic about OAP's in my bar and found it hilarious that someone actually said that, don't take life to serious folks, lifes hard enough as it is.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Hi Guys! We've reached the half way stage.

Well doesn't time fly when your a busy busy bee (thank you Arthur Askey), Season is still going at 100mph which i didn't expect as July and August are my quiet months so i find myself in a fortunate position of still having a busy bar most nights of the week even though drinking trends have changed now with it being so hot people are not starting to go out till 10.30-11.30pm, so a big big THANK YOU to all my customers who have already visited and enjoyed the bar and any criticism that you may have please feel free to let me know while your here as i always ask my customers if their drink is ok and if not i will exchange it without charge for another drink no problem as i don't want my customers to suffer with a drink they don't like, no point in waiting till you get home then moan about it on a website as i might be able to solve the problem there and then if you let me know, i'm not a monster, i'm just a short assed welsh balding git but a loveable one HAHA!

So here is a quick review of the season so far, bar busy, season has totally blown me away so far, Customers have been better than ever and all wonderful, dessert cocktails are going down a storm, connect 4's are being enjoyed by all ages, my Haribo alcoholic sweets are now becoming world famous and my little legs are getting shorter each day with all the running around i'm doing but i wouldn't change it for one second as i love it and hopefully that transfers to the customers.

During my daytimes i find little things starting to bug me and need to know the answer to a few questions for these things:-

1/ Who told the non-British/Irish tourists that its a good look to wear a pair Speedos, flip flops and bum bag around the streets of the resort?

2/ Why do i always end up with a sunbed next to an elderly eastern european lady that every time she bends down to adjust her sunbed she farts in my direction?

3/Do the 18-30's think its something new or cool beeping a horn on a little honda shopping scooter when going 20mph down the Kalamaki strip with a crash helmet that makes them look like a mushroom?

4/The female form in a bikini is a beautiful sight by a pool but why do they wear it from the pool to go shopping around the resort constantly pulling the cheese wire from between their bum cheeks?

5/Why do people laid around the pools complain about it being to hot when there are shaded areas or rooms to sit in? YOUR IN GREECE! LOL

I've decided that when the seasons over i'm going go to Italy, Poland, Croatia or wherever and wear sloppy Y-fronts around the city centres but i need to get a beer belly first to hang over the top and see if anyone thinks its alright.

This season i have been amazed at how many people read this serious blog of mine. I feel very honoured by you readers taking time to read over the dribble i write on here but i enjoy writing it so i'm glad it gives you a giggle through the summer and winter months by not taking myself to serious. As long as your reading it i'll keep writing it, well as long as i've got fingers anyway.

I am so glad i have the bar that i set out to open 16 years ago, yes 16 years its taken me to get to where i am and have had this idea of this very bar in my head all that time, this hasn't been a flash in the pan and i've worked long and hard to be at the point i am today and i'm still working hard every night, i have no staff or help and do everything myself from the table service of the cocktails to cleaning of the toilets when the bars closed, no entertainment, no gimmicks, no tv's, thank god no tv's cause its just cricket and golf at the moment and how dull are they i'd prefer to watch a year of a open university course about belly button fluff than watch a second of either of those two sports, if you can call them sports. Don't get me wrong people who enjoy them thats fine, whatever floats your boat but roll on the rugby and football season so i can watch a real sport on saturday afternoon to break up my week. The comment i have heard the most is that my bar looks like it will be expensive to drink in but once your in there you'll be surprised at my and most probably the best value in the resort for what you get.

As i say to my customers its just a plain, simple, friendly bar to bring back the art of socializing which is being lost these days at home and abroad due to TV's and loud music. The bars nothing special and i'm nothing special but its you the customers that make Oceanic special as you come in all strangers but you leave as friends with the other customers you meet while here.

Here's to the second half of the season, yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaa!