Wednesday, 25 July 2018

Dear Diary.....25th July 2018

Dear Diary.....25th July 2018

One day to go agggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!


Diary i guess your wondering why i started off with that wake up call from my most hated actor of all time (Apart from in the films Awakenings and The Fisher King).
Well, just look at this weeks page views for the blog.

137 people in Vietnam have read my blog this past week, so to you i say "cam on ban".

And this is the figures from google for this year to date.

Not bad for "A SH**Y LITTLE BAR" lol.

What a weird 9 days since the world cup finished and its not just me who is saying it, its everyone i speak to from all resorts, all types of businesses and suppliers. I'm always honest about my business if its going great its great, if its quiet its quiet, never in my 12 years have i ever gone below my first ever nights takings in 2007 on a night, let alone in July. OK, it was lower than my second ever night open but still that's what happened 8 days ago but the day before that i had my best ever night in 12 years. The bar went from 100 mph to 5 mph within 24 hours and has only ticked over since then. Other businesses within the resort are saying the same, even my supplier said their beer deliveries had dropped dramatically, some even saying its as bad as October, so strange but hey, we survive. As you know from my previous 11 years of writing i hate July and August as always my 2 quietest months out of the 6.

I was talking to some customers about the tribute acts around the resort which i can honestly say i have never seen. I'm sure they're great entertainment, not my sort of thing, i like tribute bands, each to their own. I was saying in a few years time who will there be to watch? Elvis will become less relevant as the years go on and there isn't really an artist since the 90's that would stand the test of time as a tribute act with the younger tourists coming through so where do you go? Its a difficult one as artists these days have maybe at the most 2 good years in them not decades like Freddie Mercury, Elvis, Neil Diamond, Frank Sinatra etc etc, will the tribute act die out within the next 10 years. Shame really.

Talking of tribute acts i saw a poster for a Greek Freddie Mercury tribute act "Freddos Mercurous"

Maybe not.

Question, are the younger generation become stupidly thick instead of brighter? You know the ones they talk about, The Millennial's. Firstly, socialising is alien to them if it isn't through a device. Secondly everything these days is so they won't have to do anything, driver less cars, fridges that order your food, talk activated appliances, you get my drift. Thirdly nothing is figured out in the brain and on paper anymore, its all done for them on devices.
Now then, this is what I'm leading up to, do the millennial's have to be told exactly what everything is for so they don't have to think for themselves either (i can feel my blood boiling).
I'm talking about............Heinz Sandwich Cream. What the F**K! Excuse the language there.

Now, please tell me the younger generation aren't that dumb that they can't figure out that Salad Cream can also be used in sandwiches. I used to make sandwiches for school when i was 12 and used "Salad Cream" in my sandwiches, i hardly ever ate salads at that age but i didn't need to be told i could use it in bloody sandwiches, i just figured out for myself that i could, its called common sense.

This is my bottle......

Almost empty i know but i found a shop today that has a huge family size bottle so i'm saved and it says "SALAD CREAM" on it.
What we going to have next,  Ass Paper instead of Toilet Paper, Leg Covers instead of Trousers, Food Lifting Device instead of Fork, will everything have to be literal descriptions in the future, RIDICULOUS! I don't think all Millennial's are that stupid are they, give them some credit.

Had a major food dilemma the other night, do i have foot long hot dog or homemade chicken tortilla wrap? Hmmmmmm, i had both.

And finally, i will leave you with this thought.............You got 100 friends lets say in your friends list, you post a picture so people will comment on it, 6 people like it, 4 people comment on it, not a good feedback rate is it. Does that mean 94 people hate it and 96 people haven't bothered looking at it? Ask yourself, is it worth your time? Something to think about.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Thursday, 12 July 2018

Dear Diary.....12th July 2018

Dear Diary.....12th July 2018

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. Only 3 hours sleep but i feel so good today.
Got in at 3am from bar and had to console myself with food after England's loss.
Should i have cold macaroni cheese or Foot long hot dogs? I'll have both.

Note to self, never have cold macaroni cheese ever again.

People have asked why am i writing diary entries on my blog, well, the My Little Pony secret diary with lock i have is full now so its cheaper to write it on here.

Diary, July has been the most strangest I've known so far in my 12 years. 3 nights ago i had my best ever July night in 12 years, 2 nights ago i had my worst ever July night in 12 years and last night with the football it was OK, better than i thought but still not great. Some bars didn't even open last night, don't get that. Its so erratic i never know what I'm gonna get. That could be a classic line for a film.

I think the covers for my director chairs have gone in to shock after being washed at the start of the season. They are slowly one by one splitting. I have ordered 20 brand new covers to replace all of them but in good old typical Greek style what should have been with me 2 weeks ago has now been 3 weeks wait and still not here. The covers have to be made to order as my director chairs are executive ones not cheap and wobbly ones. Maybe by Sunday they said, we'll see.

I know what your thinking diary, you think I'm going to have a good laugh at England going out of the World Cup, not at all. They did amazing for such a young team, not that i watched one single match of the world cup, i never watched any of the Wales games in the last Euros. International football has no interest for me at all, now rugby, that's a different matter.
In saying that English people do get very defencive when i joke about their team. They say things like "We won the world cup in '66, what have you won?". Strange how they want to compare me to the England football team but here we go in chronological order:-

1978 - Best drawing for St. Davids Day in Wales - Certificate presented to me by Prime Minister
           James Callaghan

           Winner of Afternoon tea with Bernard Bresslaw from Carry On at my Junior School as most
           knowledge of Carry On films (wasted youth)

1979 - Bronze Life Saving Swimming certificate for saving a brick from drowning while wearing
           my pyjamas

1980 - Boys Brigade badges for Sport, Camping, First Aid and Needle Work?

1981 - Winner of Best fancy dress as Adam Ant (Dandy highwayman with real pistol) for Charles
            and Di's wedding street party.

1983 - Cathay's Community Centre Darts Champion

1984 - Cardiff City Centre Hula-hoop champion sponsored by Hula-Hoops presented by
           Chico Johnson (only 3 entered competition on Queen street)

           Cathay's Rugby Team Player of the year

1986 - Sophia Gardens Sports Institute Anniversary Field Hockey Champions with Llandaff
           (Net minder)
           South Wales Field Hockey Champions with Llandaff (Net minder)
           Wales Field Hockey Champions with Llandaff (Net minder)
1987 - Tri-Nations British Field Hockey Champions with Wales (Net minder)

1991 - Hope All Stars Baseball team Club man of the year

1996 - M.G.M.E.F.C. Top Goal Scorer

1997 - Gretzkys F.C, Top Goal Scorer & Player of the year

1998 - Gretzkys F.C. Top Goal Scorer, Club man of the year & Player of the year

1999 - The Heath F.C Top Goal Scorer

And i have the silverware in the UK to prove it..

So, there you go, that's what I've won. Now if they had said what have Wales Football won well that's easy, nothing, their rubbish.

Its not all bad news England fans, i got great news for you, I bet on France 7-1 or Croatia 16-1 to win the world cup outright, see, its not all bad England, its a Win-Win final, Hoorah for me!

The face of English football supporters at 2.30am at the Cavo Doro......well, the top of the head.

Christmas begins earlier and earlier each year when really its only one day, Jebus's birthday. Zakynthos has taken it way to far this year. Its the 12th July and Christmas puddings are on the shelves, i kid ye not.

So we have quite a few readers in Russia this July, most probably waiting on my diary entry about the World Cup and Canada must be Ice Hockey fans and to the 3 Australian readers, "G'day Cobber, tie me kangaroo down sport".

Time to go diary as i have washing to put out then chill before work.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Monday, 2 July 2018

Dear Diary.....29th June 2018

Dear Diary.....29th June 2018

Rise and shine at 6.45am after falling asleep at 4.30am, i must drink more Jack Daniels before bedtime.

Another capacity crowd at Stadio dei Oceanic for the football England V Belgium even though i wasn't showing it. People always say to me "You'll be quiet tonight with England playing" but this isn't the case. Not everyone is from England, not everyone likes football and not everyone wants to be sat in a bar with just football commentary on. With Oceanic being the only business in Kalamaki without a TV then those people have only one choice.

Felt very hungry when i got home this morning and really fancied beans on toast, Beans? Check! Bread? Check. Think i will add a little something just to give it some extra taste, Chopped tomatoes. That will do. No, its missing something, Meat. Sliced hot dog it is. Dish is looking a bit bland. Kidney beans, ah yes, they always look good in a dish. Still doesn't look right. Gigantes beans in tomato sauce, that's whats missing. Not sure but the dish is looking a bit flat. Meatballs, yes, that's the missing part of the dish, meatballs in tomato sauce. Now it tastes to tomatoeeee. Red hot chili flakes, Eureka! I've created a monster!

Monster on toast.

This pot of Ready, Steady Cook ingredients i think will last me a week, i hope i never see a bean ever again.

Remembered today what the bar in my dreams reminds me of, its the banqueting hall from the Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies. The filament hanging bulbs look like the floating candles and the dark wood are like the huge tables. So if you put cocktails and Hogwarts together you have the name of the bar "Cockwarts",  YAY!. Hmm...........oooooh, right..............did not think that through. Doesn't really need a name, its just a dream, scrap giving it a name.

Rain and storms seem to be easing up which is great news for the tourists. Every night I'm getting asked "whats the weather going to be like tomorrow?", I run a bar I'm not Michael Fish.

Biscuit has still not returned. Not seen my landlord for over month so haven't asked him. Have decided to put up missing Goat posters hoping it will jog someones memory. I have added myself to the poster so people will know who to contact.

I know i look allot fatter in my drawing and Biscuit looks like a reindeer but people will know who it is.

What will the bar bring tonight. Can't wait till tomorrow for my early close Saturday. Every Saturday last drinks are midnight, everyone out by 1am. Better to give myself a few hours after work to chill out in town than to close for a whole day off. Make mine a pint with a Jack Daniels honey chaser. Here's to Saturday nights. Bring it on!

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!