Ok so i wasn't going to write my blog ever again and bore you with updates of just my normal daily life but a few have said they miss my blog and reading what nonsense i have to talk about so this is a one off, "COVID SPECIAL!"
Back many many months ago we had just landed from Canada into London
Who would have thought what was about to happen............
Sian and i were sat in the Rising Sun pub on Tottenham Court Road on Saturday 14th March having a quiet lunchtime pint and the pub was empty. In the corner of the room the TV was on showing Sky sports news that certain Formula 1 races were being cancelled, certain football matches were being cancelled and Coronavirus was being blamed for the cancellations.
That weekend while in London i fell ill with sore dry throat, cough, high temperature, and lungs were on fire. Now then, I never take any medication at all whenever I'm ill I just get on with it and let the illness or pain take its course, because of doing this for so many years I've hardly ever been ill, the only medication I take is when on a medical study but that weekend i was on Ibuprofen, Paracetamol and Vicks throat spray. We now believe that i had the Coronavirus but at that time we didn't know the full symptoms so i just put it down to a every day virus.
We now know why London was so quiet the weekend we got back. This was Trafalgar Square on the Saturday.
As the days went by more and more information was released to the public and it was called an epidemic which was on par with the Flu.
Then on March the 23rd the lockdown measures were announced by Bozzo and a Pandemic had begun, it was time for LOCKDOWN!
Go back to Feb before we went to Canada I was offered a nightshift job in a local store, just 12 hours a week to give me something to do so I didn't get bored during winter as at this point I hadn't made the decision about staying in the UK and giving up Oceanic.
I had started my job after I got back from Canada and after one week the whole of the UK went in to lockdown, city centres empty, shops, cafes, bars and restaurants closed, roads silent, TV's constantly warning us not to go out, stay safe, look for these symptoms.
Now i kept and eye on what the symptoms were and nowhere did it say "YOU WILL SHIT YOURSELF TO DEATH".
The first shelves to empty out completely were toilet rolls, after that the pasta and tins of tomato. Maybe they went hand in hand or should that be hand to arse. People were eating so much pasta and tomato it gave them the back door squits so the toilet paper was needed.
Also another symptom that wasn't mentioned was that everybody will feel the need to bake. We couldn't get the flour and baking goods on the shelves fast enough, flour, icing, dried fruits, bread mix, all that sort of baking stuff was gone.
Forget about a virus that turned people in to zombies that then took over the world, this virus made us bake baguettes, log cakes and loafs that may have been 2 metres long so we keep our distance and if not we could beat the offender of the 2 metre rule to death with our baked wares.
Sian who works for the NHS and I have worked throughout this pandemic, in fact my 12 hours a week went up to 30 hours, then 42 hours and finally 52 hours within the space of a month. This wasn't what I was expecting at all. I carried on working 52 hours a week for 3 months but decided enough is enough, I don't need these hours, I wanted more time with Sian and less time with toilet rolls, now I'm back to 34 hours.
In all this I think I had the best idea from the very beginning and it wasn't a tricky one, it's a very simple one to implement and I believe it would have stopped the spread, so here's my shot at being prime minister.
"People of Britain, listen to these words and take heed. If we do not follow this statement of intent that I lay out today we will become the Dodo, the Sabretooth tiger, the woolly mammoth, we will become extinct. Well.....maybe not extinct but like the parrot from the Monty Python sketch:-
"E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"
Love that sketch......but I digress, where was I........
Ah yes, this statement I declare here and now is for our safety, for our future and to stop us baking and shitting.
Everybody no matter who they are must wear a mask from this day on at all times outdoor or indoor apart from when within your own household and with the people within your own household.
Reusable washable masks will be sent out to every single household and given to every single person living in the UK.
Along with the face mask personal bottles of clip on hand sanitisers will also be sent out with all masks, included in this package will be a re-order form for when your supplies run low.
Anybody found not to be wearing a face mask at all or wrongly (over their mouth but not over the nose, you breath through your mouth and nose, idiot) or not carrying the hand sanitizer outside of their own household will be fined £200 on the spot.
Cafes, bars and restaurants will only be allowed to use indoor seating with table service, no outdoor areas for these businesses will be allowed to be used and no areas within these businesses can be used for standing socialising. Patrons will only be allowed outside to use a designated area to smoke or Vape without taking their drink. When a business is full, its full and then a one table in, one table out , first come first seated system will be in place. Masks can only be removed when the customer is sat at a table.
All shops where it can be implemented will be a one way shopping system up to the tills, there will be no need for social distancing due to the rule of blanket usage of face masks and hand sanitizing.
If you can work from home remotely then please do so.
This is not difficult to follow, this is not difficult to implement and this will cause the least disruption to our society and economy.
We can all survive this IF we all follow these easy steps BUT.......
If you do find someone breaking the rules, for example your neighbours, yuuffs, general random strangers shopping, people pretending to exercise in active wear in the park but no way are they active and just because you say "phew" in an exhausted way doesn't mean your training, elderly complaining as they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do, you have got the right to beat them to death with a French baguette or yule log you may have baked.
Here is our campaign poster:
I thank you for your time and I thank you for taking these measures from this day on.
Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!"
See folks, it's not that difficult if my policies had been put in place from day one by your idiot Government, society would have had little disruption and all businesses could have stayed open. The money spent on the free limitless masks and sanitizer would have been a fraction of the furlough. The £200 fine is big enough to stop people chancing it, what's the point in £30, £60, people will risk it for such small amounts. The same as mobile phone use in cars, if the fine for using a mobile while driving was a years ban no one would be on their phone while driving but of course its all about getting money in to the government, if the fines were so huge no offences would be made and no money going in.
Holidays for us after Canada were put on hold. We were meant to be going to Milan in June to see the Foo Fighters in concert but that has now been rescheduled to June 2021 so we decided to make a huge holiday out of it next year. First Milan for 4 days with the Foo Fighters concert in the middle, from Milan to Athens for a stop over of 1 night then on to Hydra for 8 nights before back to Athens for a night and back to the UK.
We agreed it was a bad idea to try to go abroad on a flight this year with everything going on, why would we put ourselves at risk on a packed flight with no social distancing for a couple of days by a pool or on a beach especially after how I felt with the Covid symptoms.
So a week in Penzance it was for my birthday which was brilliant.
We booked an apartment with a sea view, breakfast included and it was so nice. A bargain at £550 for 7 nights.
They filled our fridge every day with fresh cut fruit, 8 slices of bread white & brown, Greek yoghurt, 6 eggs, fruit juice, milk, butter, jam and honey, along with that there were 4 jars with different cereals in refilled every day, tea, instant coffee, fresh ground coffee and biscuits.
If we were tight arses we could have eaten well in our apartment without spending a penny on food but we like to eat and drink out. It was used for breakfast before our days out and about.
The view from our dining area.
Sian had Confit duck leg.
I had fish pie.
Not something I'd usually take a picture of but what cool toilets at The Turks Head, very clever.
A seal pup being nursed back to full health.
This is Ray, all Ray does is sit in the corner and hardly ever swims......
and this is why.
Took a day trip over to St. Ives. Hmm, would have been lovely without all the tourists but not for us. We only stayed for 40 mins and that was with a walk from the car park, around the streets and back to car, didn't even bother with a drink or food we just wanted out of there.
We have one more little trip away as we are spending this New Year in Chester, nice and easy to get to and it has a the Zoo and Sea World.
To make up for this years non trips abroad along with Milan/Athens/Hydra which is all booked we have provisionally pencilled in Crete for April depending on how long these travel rules last and spread of Covid, we are all booked up for Switzerland in Sept 2021 for Freddie Mercury's 75th birthday party bash in Montreux, that's going to be amazing and back to St. Malo for New year 21/22. Even got 2022 sorted, Calgary here we come for the Calgary Stampede, YEEEEEHAAAAAAA! So excited for that.
I know those holidays are all months away but its all booked up ready for us as we like to know we have our flights and Apartment sorted, now we can just relax until it's time to go.
Wales is now in a second full lockdown and that's because Welsh people are morons. You should have seen it here, you would have thought that someone had said the virus is completely gone. Sian and I since the first lockdown have only been to a pub or restaurant 4 times in 7 months which isn't a problem as we are still conscious that the virus is there. We also have stuck strictly to the household rule. If everyone had stuck to the rules from the first lockdown the virus would by now be very very small but because of the morons breaking the rules even during the full UK lockdown the virus won't go away but because they are useless, thoughtless, idiots they don't get it.
So there we go folks, just a little insight in to my Covid thoughts and what we've been up to.
I do understand it's difficult for all but if everyone pulled the same way it would be so much better and easier.
All we have to do when we're told "It's lockdown time again" is look at the rule breakers, because without them there is no spread of Covid or at least it's cut down to a minimal.
So until another update special comes around
Love All, Peace All, Stay Safe All, Kevlar Out!
