Wednesday, 31 August 2016

Its competition time!

Now do we all remember Where's Wally? or if American Waldo? (Why the change of name? its almost identical)

Well every week before my major update i will be posting a Where's Wally type feature blog post.
It will be a different pic each week where you have to spot something in amongst other things.

So let us start off with tricky picture.

Which t-shirt is the odd one out? Take your time and study the picture.

Friday, 19 August 2016


I so wish i could go back in time and take the picture and post off about my new house and leave the display cabinet out. It has now almost become a competition to see who can give me the best but worst trinket of an ornament to adorn it's shelves.

What have i done to deserve such riches? You will see me in 10 years time either with a tourist gift shop where Oceanic used to stand or sat next to David Dickinson on Dickinson's Real Deals trying to barter with an antique dealer to get 50p out of them.

So here is the updated picture of my wonderful monster display cabinet and the positions the ornaments hold.

So here we have actually quite a good gift. It is made of pure gold and weighs quite a bit. This little owl was given to me by Gavin and Alex. Please focus on the owl and not the dust on the shelf. See, now if the ornaments weren't there i could just run a cloth over the shelves and "Hey Presto" clean but now i have to move them all off which really i can't be arsed doing. So i am going to leave them till hopefully the dust is that thick you won't see any of the artifacts, which by that time they will be artifacts discovered by some future explorer. He will deduce from his findings a sad lonely git lived here who had friends who actually hated him due to the gifts he was given, ONLY JOKING, i think their grrrrrrrrreat!

This is a lovely selfie of Lisa and Ian baring their teeth. In dogs this means to back off or an act of aggression (Lisa and Ian are not dogs and are wonderful people but they have no connection with any canine variety) Taking this into consideration you can see from the full cabinet view they are situated closest to the front door. This is a prime position for any burglars breaking in, they will see the picture of pure aggression and run for the hills leaving all my antiques on the cabinet intact.

The next 2 items have a very sad story that my world watched actor/teacher (yes your kids may have been taught by him) told me.

The first item is a picture of a girl turtle. You may think what an innocent pose. You'd be wrong. This pose was for a turtles lad mag which her boyfriend didn't know anything about. Shocking i know.

The second item is the boyfriend. As you can see, on finding out about this secret photo shoot he tried to choke himself but due to turtles having flippers and no opposable thumbs all he was doing was wiping his neck so gave up and joined the foreign legion. He is now happy and Captain of the aquatic division. They have been put on opposite sides of the cabinet and behind glass doors so they don't fight.

So there we have it for the cabinet update, look out for me on Antiques Roadshow this winter.

A few weeks ago i had to go back home to Swansea for 24 hours. On return i had to fly from Manchester and because i just had a small rucksack with me i could just walk straight through and for the first time in my history of traveling i was the first passenger in departures, WOOHOO! Now even though this experience made me laugh (simple things please my simple mind) nowhere was open so it quickly turned into disappointment, Never again shall i rush to be first.

And i took a picture of the walk way from the train station to the airport as it reminded me of the film "Tron". The bikes that i saw in the original Tron from 1982 is what made me want to ride motorbikes. I would so love one of those bikes. Don't tell me their not real as they are, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA NOT LISTENING!

I came across this picture of Oceanic on the world wide web or the net. WOW! how much it has changed. I can't believe i used to put a speaker on the roof. I would put it on and take it off the roof every day. And yes, those are still the same chairs and sofa's that i have now. As Brucey would say "Haven't they lasted well". Changed so much over the 10 years. My little baby is all grown up.

Now i know i have lots of twinkly lights going on in the bar but i think the electric board may have estimated my bill just a little high. Yes, you are reading it right 3,506€. I think either I'm powering the whole of the old road or something is seriously wrong in the estimation department of the electricity board here. Time to lay siege on the office of Delta Epsilon Eta. They shall lower thy bill or i shall become their slave, "I'm Spartacus".

Now this poster for someone famous...............?????????????? who was doing a gig on the island has to be the best advertising poster i have ever seen. I mean, crystal white teeth, full white outfit, jazz hands and the slogan "I AM WHAT I AM, the comeback!" Why is "the comeback" in small letters i don't know, shout it "THE COMEBACK!!!!!!!!!" but this got me thinking.

Could this be the love child of............

Duncan Norvelle, 1980's happy go lucky comedian who used to appear on every variety show shown at that time including Bullseye and 3-2-1 with Dusty Bin. His catchphrase was "Chase me".

 or could it be............

Liberace, flamboyant pianist with that razzle dazzle factor always enjoyed a good jazz hands after he had finished tinkling the ivories.

Or maybe its..........
YES, you guessed it, one of our favourites here on the Oceanic blog, Derek Acorah. We all know Derek for his spooky goin on's but did you know.................

..................he is also a trained expert at jazz hands and here is the proof....

You decide who it may be, but i think we'll never know.

So that's it for this long awaited updated. Its now just to hot for me to do anything as saving all my energy for the bar. Roll on Sept when it gets cooler. The bar is still doing well and mcuh more new first time customers this year than regulars but all are welcome and welcomed with the same warm "Hi guys!". I will be honest this season is taking a toll on my short legs but we keep going, we keeping fighting the good fight with the motto "To Death or Glory", bit theatrical i know but it does sound good you know LOL.

Oh and Kalamaki has been renamed "Plastic Cup Town" you've already seen or will see when you get here what i mean.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Friday, 5 August 2016

"Feeling HOT, HOT, HOT" and bothered. Its half way time, WOOHOO!

Well howdy doody folks. Now i will answer a very simple question for all first of all "You must be used to this heat?", NO I'M BLOODY NOT! It seems to get worse every year. Just like at home, if your waking up to rain everyday (especially the people of Wales) then its the same to waking up to stifling heat, blue sky and sun everyday, it becomes a pain in the back side. Now 1 days rain every week would be nice just to break up the groundhog day effect, roll on Sept when it starts to cool.

Its at the half way stage of the season and as you know from the past 9 years on this blog July and August are never really that good months for me, my good months are always the other 4 but its steady and can't complain.
People ask me why do i put a chain across the entrance at midnight? Well its due to my first 2 seasons i found that if anyone is coming in to the bar after midnight who have never been in before they haven't just woke up and come out to start drinking. Main drinking times I've found over the 10 years are between 9pm and 11.30pm  after that its not busy with drinks at all. So after midnight its like a V.I.P. Oceanic customers only lock in but have still been there till 3am most mornings.
I hope that now explains why the chain is there.

I now have a theory around my lovely present from Demi and Tasos of the carousel.
As i said in previous post it really is a creepy thing but there is a very, VERY, dark hidden message behind the gift.
There are four horses on the carousel, four horses are a evil sign, THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE!
No wonder i'm having trouble sleeping at night. Along with being the bringers of destruction they play a plinky plonky song that no one knows. The end of the world will start on my display cabinet with a terrible tune , GEE THANKS GUYS!

My horses on the carousel look exactly like these, very worrying indeed.

Oh, by the way, there will be a display cabinet feature article on my next blog update as i now have even more tat, sorry, lovely gifts to show you that have been donated by my wonderful customers.

As you all know i am a crumpet fiend. Any type of crumpet and i'm scoffing them down and lets not forget Kevlar's Kitchen Cooking Classes with Crumpet Creations.
Well, i was brought a lovely food parcel from Scotland of black pudding, white pudding, haggis slices and, wait for it, ROLLING CRUMPETS. Never seen them before. I have to say they were very nice. They are quite sweet in taste but there is one problem, because i like a crunch on my crumpet they didn't really roll but if you cook them for less time than i do then they do in fact roll, great for your hot dogs to go in to i reckon.

And for your delight, here is a crumpet creation.
Mums and Dads, do you have a problem getting your children to eat Haggis? Yes! Well here's the solution. Make them look like David Bowie's eyes. A rolling crumpet, place Haggis on top then finish off with 2 different colored sauces. Your kids will be wolfing them down without a thought that they're eating sheep's heart, liver and lungs, Mm, Mm, Mm.

David Bowie Eyes Crumpet Creations.

Yes i know his eyes are blue and brown but you try finding a blue condiment.

As i was traveling back home from buying my stock one morning along the main road between Kalamaki and Laganas i saw a crashed quad at the side of the road which was in a right 2 and 8 with the keys still in the ignition. I thought it would be my duty to call the rental hire shop and let them know. On calling them they thanked me but they already knew of the bike being there and it had been crashed in the early hours of that morning by a drunk brit boy from Laganas, his words not mine.
Now when they first started hiring out quads they didn't have headlights so could only be used in daytime, should they go back to only renting these  type of quads out? After a few drinks it seems like a great fun idea to ride a quad at night drunk but look what can happen. Something has to change i think just to keep the people who hire them and the passing public safe at night.

This season i have come up with so many new designs for t-shirts i'm losing track of what i actually got now. So here are another 3 which aren't in the catalogue yet. Pete of Despina and Pete did ask when am i doing a Cilla Black design................NEVER!

Well, my drink is drunk and now have to go and order some t-shirts from my good friend Spiro.
If your ever in town go visit him at his shop on Alexander Roma, its called Printmaniac near Eye Site shop.

So until the next full blown display cabinet update..................

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

P.S. Gary Hetherington, if your reading this please leave your e-mail address on the comment section below, only i will see it. I accidentally threw it away on the back of my stock list, SORRY!