Thursday, 25 February 2010

Manchester tour almost here!

We'll the Oceanic tour continues on the 5th March with a trip to Manchester where i'll be meeting up with many friends and customers, if anyone who hasn't already contacted me would like to meet up for a drink Saturday night at the hotel i'm staying at then drop me an e-mail at

Today had my 24 hour ECG monitor results back ready for my medical trial and that is also 100% OK so its all systems go for the study on the 9th of March.

Started in Currys on Monday and the Manager has given me the job of Merchandising the whole store which is great as got lots to do, to be honest its a bit of a mess but after a week i'll have it looking like a store ready for its grand opening day, seen some nice appliances for helping with making my new drinks, wonder if i get discount LOL.

Its almost time for the Oceanic Awards, as my regular readers know every year just after the Oscars i have my own awards which i give to my lovely customers. These awards are rated higher than the Baftas, the Golden Globes and the Oscars, WHY? because the winners of the world famous "Oceanic" gets free alcohol, much better than a gold statue don't you think? haha.

And just in case there is any doubt or rumours going around that Oceanic is not opening this year like there has been the past 2 seasons i can say with a huge grin and spring in my step that it is open this season without a doubt, so that should now lay to rest any gossip, if i ever decide to close Oceanic it will be posted on here first for all to see.

Not long till season 2010 and my 10th year on Zakynthos, its my testimonial year in football terms, now what shall i do to celebrate, answers on a postcard to ...... LOL

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Something for the weekend!

So the weekends here and i have one last weekend of freedom to drink and be merry before i start work on Monday and not allowed alcohol until 16th April due to my medical trial.
On thurs as stated in the previous post i went in to my medical study for a 24 hour pre-medical monitor. Had the usual blood sample, urine sample, BMI (Body Mass Index) test and full medical check over with a doctor and i'm pleased to say i'm 100% fit also i have lost 11lb in weight since i was there last time, my exact weight is 10 stone 2lb so in fact i'm in better condition compared to a year ago, Woohoo! Am i the real Benjamin Button getting younger as i get older LOL.
Now with this test being as its a first time human study my body will be monitored 24/7 when i start it properly in 21 days time, i have to wear a portable ECG unit which looks like this:-

As you can see its lots of coloured sticky pads which are connected to a little box that records your vital signs. Now wearing it wasn't a problem, it was comfortable and didn't bleep like the bigger machines you see on the TV, the only problem comes when trying to go to sleep while wearing it. I was so worried about pulling one of the pads off or turning the machine off i just laid there flat on my back and kept on waking up to check everything was still attached and working, so i'll be shattered once i start the full test. Whenever i look at this pic the Six Million Dollar Man springs in to my head, that would be cool if come April 16th i had a Bionic arm, leg and eye. I could run in slow motion which in fact is superfast.

Remeber i told you that i had got Helen her "rock" well i've taken a picture of it to show you.

When i showed Helen the ring in this boxed she cried, thats because she knew i was taking it back to the shop as i had it out on loan for a week so thought i better take a picture of it for us to look back on when we remember the day we renewed our engagement. I know, I know, your thinking to yourself what lovely bloke i am taking a picture before i take it back, its not the giving of the ring its the thought that counts haha.

I also hear that alot of people are getting excited at the thought of my new cocktails i've devised all i can say is they are very fruity, very fresh, very yummy and you can't get them anywhere else only at Oceanic, so its a good job i've got customers that know a good cocktail when they taste one or two or three or four LOL.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

So much to tell you, so little time!

Ok here goes, starting with last Friday even though Helen had proposed to me a while back i hadn't got the "Rock" she kept on about so i thought i'd be a good chap and get her the "Rock", unfortunately Barry Island was to far away now i live in Swansea so a stick of rock was out of the question so i got her a Gold Ring with 12 Diamonds around a central Emerald instead, everyones asking "whens the engagement party?" the answer "when we see you on Zakynthos" that way its a season long party. If anyone is thinking of getting us a present then i like black pudding but Helen would prefer cash or cheques are accepted with card number on the back LOL.

Tomorrow at 7am i am heading off for this years medical trial, this years study is to find out if a humans ear drum can last 1 hour of Cheryl Cole music, i can tell you straight away thats a no without even having to test me. Seriously i'm testing a new formula to help people with Type 2 Diabetes, Simbec is like a 3rd home now as i've been there so many times, i enjoy catching up with the staff, having 4 meals a day, watching Sky TV from my bed, morning papers delivered to my bed, WIFI connection, pool table, I guess its like a sterile Butlins holiday camp. Got to stay in 3 times overall, tomorrow is the first time and its just overnight. So study starts tomorrow and finishes on April 16th.

Which leads me to Manchester tour 5th-8th March i will still be there but now i can't drink, GOD DAMN IT! Looking forward to seeing everyone on the Friday and Saturday then Sunday is my time to relax before i head back in for the second part of the study on the 8th March.

Also i am now Senior Sales Advisor for Currys. No not the indian food, although i do like a good curry, i mean Currys Electrical Store, its one of the large ones on a shopping park so looking forward to that as the Manager is a good guy and wants me to re-merchandise his store and work the media section, so lots of TV's, HiFi's and computers, please no asking for discount as i'll be using it all myself, i need 2 items for my bar haha!

The new Oceanic menu is also finished tonight and its looking so good with the 6 new drinks i've devised, can't wait for you all to try them. Your gonna love them.

So for now i think thats it but now with all these things going on i'll have plenty to tell you about.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

I've conquered Ireland!

Well what a great weekend again, i'm still alive, my kidneys are still in good condition and i'm not bankrupt LOL.
It was an early start Friday morning up at 2am to be at Bristol airport for 5.30am with flight at 6.30am, due to it being so early i couldn't be bothered to read the map so Helen borrowed a Satnav, what a annoying rubbish invention. We typed in all the right information we took all the right directions and guess what, we had to find our own way there as it took us way out the way away from the airport. No thanks to the Crapnav we got there in time and made our flight.

So on to the plane Ryanair, very low price for return flight but their is a downside, i thought i was on a toy plane, when inside is all blue and yellow plastic everywhere, sweaty vinyl seats that when someone farted on the seat it vibrated so loud it drowned out the engine (by the way it wasn't me farting) and to top it all off a dried out hotdog was £6 but the hot chocolate was yummy.

No sooner than we had taken off we had landed "Hello Dublin". So we went to Helen's brothers (Vincent) house in the area of Rathgar dumped off our bags and headed in to the town centre where we had a look around ready for the big day on Saturday, feeling a bit peckish we headed in to George Street Arcade market for some food.

Inside here i had the best sandwich ever, i had a breakfast roll but it was made with a sunblushed tomato ciabatta and everything was cooked fresh and boy did it taste amazing and really clean flavours. The place was called "Honest to goodness" and here is their website.

We then continued on our way taking in all the places that could be possible places to get drunk in while we watched the rugby. As always when we go away i give Helen 1 day that she can go shopping so we went to Stephens Green shopping centre where i was very surprised at the prices as there wasn't that much difference in prices compared to the UK and some things were cheaper but i thought the centre itself was brilliant although i did have to go down 3 floors after going up 3 floors to get change to use the toilet then go back up 3 floors again, much better exercise than step aerobics and helps with bladder control.

Stephens Green Shopping centre

After being dragged around all the shops it was time to head back and stop off for a drink, well i am in Ireland after all so when in Ireland........

We popped in to a local pub called "Vaughan's Eagle House" where the world famous poet James Joyce was born in 1882, it was a great pub which was set up over 3 levels and still maintained all its traditional fixtures and fittings. Time for my first alcoholic drink in Ireland, now i bet you think i tried a Guinness but no i tried a Smithwicks Ale and it was so good, Helen had that traditional irish drink WKD blue with a straw, classy LOL. Then reality struck home, i'm in Ireland 10.59Euro for 2 drinks, what the........? Did i just buy a round for the whole pub? Water for Helen from now on. Now if any british tourists on Zakynthos say to me "its expensive on the island" my first words back will be "you should try Ireland".

Vaughans Eagle House in Rathgar

Thats it for day 1 as it had started very early so we stayed in, had a delivery curry and caught up on our sleep ready for saturday.

Saturday "Oh, What a beautiful mornin’,Oh, What a beautiful day.I got a beautiful feelin’Ev’erything’s goin’ my way". Time for a big Irish breakfast and my first time with white pudding and i don't believe it, its better than black pudding. Make a mental note any irish visitors could they bring me out some white pudding LOL. Time to Re-mortgage the house as my breakfast cost 9.95Euro just in a local cafe. Breakfast:- 2 Sausage, 1 bacon, 1 egg, 1 black pudding, 1 white pudding, mushrooms, 1 toast and tea.

In to town with a tummy full of fatty food to soak up the alcohol and first stop was a bar called "The Church" now with me being a man of the cloth i thought this was a good start and what a amazing start it was, inside this old church was a bar that was built on 3 levels again with all the original church decor left insdie and bar/restaurant has been built around it, i would love to work in somewhere like this i was wide eyed in wonder. Arthur Guinness, founder of the Guinness Brewery was married here in 1761 !!

Good start in there with Liverpool winning 1-0 and Ireland beating Italy, time to find the bar that we'll watch Wales in but along the way we took in some sights.

First of all was one that i couldn't miss even if i wanted to "The Dublin Spire" that was finished in 2003 and is 390ft high and was built on the spot where Nelsons Pillar stood that was destroyed by a bomb from the former members of the IRA, it really is a sight to see.
Then we crossed the Ha'penny Bridge which was built in 1816 over the River Liffey, this bridge is just up from Clarence Hotel that Bono from U2 owns, from the outside it looks a right dump but when inside i could tell it was well above my standards of innkeepers lodge LOL.
I was expecting to see Bono sat there in his JimJams (Pyjamas) reading the morning papers while necking a bottle of Jack Daniels, i was left disappointed.

Time was running out and the match was about to start so we up'd our pace through Temple Bar area which we would return to and decided to go to O'neills for the Craic and some real Guinness.

Along the way we passed the statue of Molly Malone who was said to be a beautiful street fishmonger during the day, some say she was a part time lady of the night also. There is no evidence that Molly Malone was a real person.

Where's my Leprecon net when i need it. Now i know i wasn't drunk as i hadn't had more than 2 drinks (i'm a lightweight) but i had to look twice as just next door to Molly was a 7ft Leprecon so to not look stupid just in case everyone else couldn't see what i was seeing i took a picture of him from across the road.

Now this next picture is a bit religious so with me being Rock Rev. Kev i thought i would show this updated version of the last supper by the artist John Byrne who asked people off the street if they would like to be in the Last Supper. After he had found 13 people to take part he dressed them up and took the photo that is now on enamel plates on the wall in Blooms Lane.

Now on to O'neills and my first pint of Guinness "Oh My God" how good does a proper pint of Guinness taste. I'd never had one before and now i really can tell the difference in taste, i'm not keen on UK Guinness but this stuff i stayed on all day. So i was set, Guinness in hand, welsh national athem on the TV and set for war with the English, 80 mins later we'd lost but because of the bar we were in and all the irish shouting for Wales while 2 english people sat quiet in the corner the day was brilliant and as Meatloaf sang "2 out of 3 ain't bad" Liverpool won, Ireland Won and Wales gave England the match. It was nice to read the next day Will "square chin" Carling actually admitting England didn't win the game, Wales lost it.

O'neills bar where the Irish were very friendly and cheered along with us.

Inside O'neills its all dark wood with green leather seating and brass trim everywhere. This is what a real pub should be like.

Then after all the tension of the rugby it was time to head back over to the Temple Bar area. The Temple Bar pub was established in 1840 on the site where Sir William Temple who was Provost of Trinity College, Dublin and Master Chancery in Ireland built his house in 1609 on the "Barr" which is the word for a raised sandbank for walking on which was shortened to "Bar" and so the name Temple Bar was born.

A 2 day trip was far to short as i loved what i saw and the history and the Guinness of course. I'm sure i'll be back very soon for a longer stay next time and i'd like to say a big thank you to Vincent for his company and for letting us use his house and to all the irish people who watched the match with us and made saturday such a great day.

A few truths about Ireland, Ireland is a beautiful place, the Irish people are friendly (accept the bus drivers LOL), Guinness is 100% better there than anywhere else in the world and there are alot of ginger Irish people haha.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Ireland here i come!

I'm geting excited now about my first trip to Ireland so i've been getting ready for the trip as i don't want to forget anything so i've made a check list:-

Leprecon catching net - check

Green suit - check

Long smoking pipe made from bone - check

Shinny black dancing shoes for "Riverdance" - check

XXXXXL Oceanic t-shirt for the giant that owns that causeway - check

Gumshield to play a game of football - check

A large wooden spoon to try my hand at hurling - check

Dodgy irish accent with lots of "to be sure","go on","feck","i'm up for the craic" and "top of the morning to ya" - check

Daniel O'Donnell 2006 "your going down satan" tour t-shirt - check

So i think i'm ready for the off early hours friday morning, hope my kidneys last out the weekend LOL.

I have been called to court by PC Plod of the Toys R Us special branch after CCTV footage come to light of me attacking Daddy Bear. Due to the nature of this CCTV footage i can only show you stills from the film.

As you can see it was a surprised unprovoked attack as he yelled "This ones for Elmo"

I was almost passing out when i thought of a cunning plan, "Daddy Bear,your porridge is burning" he quickly let go.

With a counter straight right to his jaw he realised i was bluffing about his porridge, boy was he mad.

With the old "look up there" line i looked up and felt the force of his furry forehead crack my chin.

Time for some dirty trick tactics so i did the pointing at the tummy routine then ran my finger up and kneed him in his gentleman vegtables.

After this the fight went out of CCTV range, we scuffled past the Barney section "I love you" Barney said, "Thats no good to me you purple prat" i shouted back, we fell in to the Noddy aisle "hooray for noddy" , Big Ears gouged at Daddy Bears eyes with his pointy ears while Noddy shook his hat so the bell alerted PC Plod, nice one Noddy. Unfortunately PC Plod was already on a call as Barbie and Ken were having domestic over the malibu camper van, i have to think fast the bear was trying to get me in a hug. I lured him in to the disney area and pointed at Cinderella "look its goldilocks", he turned quickly and roared "you ate my kids porridge" and off they ran. So i have to face a trial by toys but its ok i have a great lawyer "the fat controller", well he's the only toy that looked smart enough to defend me, not sure of his lawyer credentials though. The jury are made up of a right bunch,Captain Flack! Pugh! Pugh! Barney McGrew! Cuthbert! Dibble! Grubb! a firecrew who actually have never fought a fire. I await my fate LOL.