Now, i say its rant time but its not really its more of things that annoy me. I don't get angry about things anymore as I've mellowed allot more than i was over the past 2 years so here i go anyway........
"It's rant time, everybody loves a rant time, all of us need a rant tiiiiiiiiiiime, IT'S RANT TIME!!!!"
1/ Mobile phone couples
So your a couple, you go out for a coffee, a drink, a meal, you sit down and before they've even ordered..... the phones come out from both and not a word is uttered between them for the whole day/night out.
Myself and Sian are amazed and find it so funny. We see it everywhere we go and almost every couple are doing it, perhaps we're the odd ones because we don't.
When we go out our phones are nowhere to be seen, in fact our phones are only ever looked at when we can be bothered, even in the house or we use them to find directions when we go out and about.
We love going out, being in each others company and chatting and having a laugh.
WHATS THE POINT IN GOING OUT JUST TO IGNORE EACH OTHER?
I use my phone that little that i get 200 MB of data a month and at the end of last month i still had 199 MB left. Question, where did that 1 MB go?
So these days you need to join and add details and create a password just to find out the weather so i don't join anything that asks for all that rubbish but for buying and travel you need to add passwords.
You think of a password and type it in. You are asked to confirm it so you type it in again. Then in big red letters it tells you its not usable as you need a capital letter, a number, a symbol and at least 8 characters long.
AAAAAGGGHHHHHH! TELL ME AT BEGINNING NOT AFTER I'VE PUT IT ALL IN, IDIOTS!
3/ Estate agents
I've been house hunting for four months since i got back.
Had a cash buyer for my house in Swansea (Brilliant) as my mum wants to be back in Cardiff closer to family and me.
Now then........Estate agents are useless, honestly, one estate agent knew nothing about the area or even the house we viewed with her.
You give specifics and price range and then you get mail shots for houses worth £400,000 with 6 bedrooms and a drive with double garage.
2-3 BEDROOMS I SAID AND I DON'T DRIVE.
Pictures. They look great, rooms are light, rooms are huge and no problems. You get there and rooms are as dark as caves, they are the size of actual doll house rooms and mold is everywhere.
TAKE BLOODY NATURAL PICTURES AND SAVE US ALL THE TIME WE TAKE TO VIEW IT.
You enquire about a house for sale, no sign of offer pending, no sign of sold but when you call they tell you its one or the other but its still online.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WANT TO SEE HOUSES THAT ARE AVAILABLE NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT SELLING CAUSE YOU'VE SOLD EVERY HOUSE ON YOUR WEBSITE, MORONS!
Unfortunately didn't find anywhere so now on hold until i come back from Zakynthos.
Don't like estate agents at all. No wonder i bought privately last time.
4/ Reality TV and their Z listers
I do not watch any reality TV at all cause its not real life, its garbage. I saw a advert for "Made in Chelsea" there were a couple arguing and then a drink was thrown in the boyfriends face over what i don't care but lets see why it's not real shall we.
First there is a camera angle of both facing each other, then one just of female, then one just of male, that's 3 camera angles. This shows its obviously all staged and NOT reality.
Are you trying to tell me that just as they are arguing in real time that a producer quickly gets 3 cameras together, positions them perfectly on stands and catches it all?
To get those shots the dull, idiot Z listers would have to be stood on marks with perfect lighting and a director calling camera angles and the YUFF of today think its real and aspire to be like these brainless reality stars that are churned out week after week.
SHOW THE REAL LIFE OF EVERYDAY PEOPLE WORKING HARD TO SURVIVE NOT Z LISTERS HAVING MONEY THROWN AT THEM TO ACT BADLY!
5/ Rubbish sports
I watch allot of sport Rugby, Ice Hockey, Football, Boxing, and many others but some sports are just......... RUBBISH!
Where do i start.
OK Golf. You place a little white ball on a stick then hit it with another stick and walk after it and keep doing this until it goes in a hole. I think its more of a walk with a activity involved. It does take skill though.
I see it the same as me walking on one of my marathon walks, kicking a conker that has fallen off a tree until i get bored then passing it down into a drain, same thing but you can't class that as a sport.
Formula 1. Its someone driving fast, wearing out tyres and having Kwik Fit fitters on hand. For the spectators which pay through the nose to sit on a grass bank and see a flash of colour go past, HOW EXCITING! Every 1 MIN 25 SEC you get say YAY! for 1 second as they flash past you. It does take skill though.
I see it the same as a few mobility scooters going around a supermarket up and down the aisles taking those sharp bends at the deli counter but i see the scooters for longer and don't have to pay.
The only good thing about F1 is the start and that's just because there may be a collision after that its DULL, DULL, DULL!
Indoor bowls. This was on BBC2 not so long ago. If snails had a spectator sport this would be it.
Also if a Blue Rinse company had a advertising board there they'd make millions just from the spectators either side of the bowling green.
Can't call it a sport though.
By my old house there was a bowling green and after school i used to play as we got an hour each day for free and even i could hit the jack and get close to it so you don't even need skill if i can do it.
Test Cricket. Firstly any sport that takes 5 days to play out is a past time, not a sport. Secondly it can only be played in warm sunny climates which basically means the teams get a free holiday every time they play. The game itself starts with indecent behaviour with a person rubbing their groin with a red ball, then running 20 metres, throwing the ball as hard as they can with some spin only for another person to put a plank of wood up to stop it dead. BRILLIANT! STUNNING! WOW!
Do it again, do it again! So they do, repeat 10 times out of 12. Its the only sport i know that scores in the hundreds but can still end up a draw.
SPORT HAS TO BE EXCITING, THESE ARE NOT SPORTS!
Many people I'm sure hate the sports i like which is fine by me, we're all allowed an opinion but my sports aren't boring.
Feel much better now after that, I'm sure there was one more rant but can't remember what.....never mind, I'll remember for next time.
I love melted cheese. Not so fussed on cheese without it being heated but warm melted cheese is so good. This led me to a eureka moment, how about a baked cheese and smokey bacon sandwich.
I began buy buying a bloomer bread and cutting it length ways so you only get 4 slices out of it.
Then you grill off 4 rashers of smokey bacon.
Place the 4 slices of bacon on one of the slices of bread and then cover with a mound of grated mozzarella.
Place on top of that another slice of the bloomer bread. cover the whole sandwich with a mound of grated mature cheese, some salt and pepper.
Wrap in foil tightly and place on a baking tray in a oven at Gas mark 6 / 160 fan assisted for 20 Min's.
After 20 Min's unwrap the sandwich and finish off under grill until golden brown.
Add sauce if preferred then stuff your face while it all drips down your chin and burns the roof of your mouth.
WARNING: This is a heart attack on a plate.
What has happened to the good old but naff party songs these days?
All the songs are so serious and dramatic and "woh is me" sounding. Aren't the modern generation of singers happy? They all sound so depressed when singing and the lyrics are just the same words repeated over and over.
Example, Rhianna her song "Work" here are the lyrics:-
Work, work, work, work, work, work
You see me I be work, work, work, work, work, work
You see me do me dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt
There's something 'bout that work, work, work, work, work, work
When you a gon' learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn
Me na care if me tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired
So for those singers who have forgotten how to have fun here are some awful, terrible party songs
This kept Ultravox - Vienna off the No.1 spot, TRAGIC!.
This was also a No.1.........HOW?
This is terrible, just terrible and another No.1.
See how simple we were, that simple we made this No.1
This didn't make it to No.1 only No.2, god help us all.
I am now close to shooting myself after all these awful but hugely popular songs and it doesn't get any better, another No.2 and i mean that in both senses.
And the worst of the worst which was No,1 in 10 countries, can you believe it. This is one rabbit that should have been put down.
And kids, all these songs were played relentlessly at nightclubs, parties, weddings etc
On second thoughts.........stick to the boring depressing songs your writing now.
The rock is getting ever closer and there is no major changes this year to the bar as i did allot last season, was going to get some new sofas but my saying is "If the sofas ain't broke don't change 'em"
I have got a few ideas but these are just subtle changes.
The drinks menu has a few new cocktails I've created over the winter and i have added the ORIGINAL Porn Star Martini made exactly how the creator Douglas Ankrah makes it, so this is the correct and only way to make it.
My body is telling me i don't have to many seasons left in me because as I'm getting older the bar is getting busier but i would never employ a member of staff as its not how i want the bar to be also I'm a real tight ass so paying a wage would make me cry lol.
Not only that but my life in the UK is the best its been now with my personal life and don't want to spend to many more seasons away, i feel more settled now and more chilled here.
In saying all that i am back for my 13th season with Oceanic and my 19th season in all just in case the rumours are flying as usual that I'm not returning like they were in 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2018.
Amazing isn't it, when will these gossips learn lol.
I LOVE RUGBY, I LOVE OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM, I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
BOYS, YOU MADE US PROUD.
So until my final update from the UK before i leave..........
Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!