Sunday, 22 February 2015

WINTER SEASON 8, EPISODE 4 "Blood, Blood, Glorious Blood!"

 Hello to every Man, Woman, Child and Troll. How the devil are we today? Its Sunday, Its chucking it down and its the most boring day of the week, even more so when the weathers bad. I know they say its a day of rest but I hate rest.
So with that in mind I've got plenty of time to do a fun packed update for you. We will have the usually update about what's going on, my rant time and other nuggets of my wisdom on things I've observed.

Lets start with the bar, I have no update on the bar. Bit boring on that front as only got to clean and paint a bit. Having a few new bits of décor but nothing major. Well I don't think its major but I think all my lovely customers will think its major as the bar will have a different look but the same if you know what I mean, this will all depend of if I can pick up what I want from the island. I know what I need just need to find it locally.

I'm two thirds of my way through my medical study and if I'm being honest this has been the most uncomfortable study I've been on but also the shortest. Two parts of the study is 2 days long and the third is 1 1/2 days long. The reason its the most uncomfortable is that for the first 4 hours blood is taken 3 times an hour, then for 8 hours its twice an hour, after that for 4 hours blood taken every hour, then for 6 hours through the night every 2 hours till its back round to breakfast and start again. You don't really have time to settle down as your constantly being tested also you don't get time to sleep much either as your having blood taken for the whole of the 24 hours of every day.
The other part of the study is that on one visit I had to eat a full fat breakfast before the study drug,    2 x fried eggs, 2 x bacon, 2 x hash brown, 2 x brown toast and 1/2 pint of full fat milk. That was a real struggle for me, I can't even remember the last time I had fried food let alone a full fried breakfast and half a pint of milk at 7am with only 15 min's to eat it all BLURGHHHHH! Then the next two parts of the study its the other extreme we don't have anything to eat till lunch time. My body really doesn't know where it is LOL.
Apart from the full fat breakfast its been so far another wonderful stay in my 4th home of Simbec, if they rented out the wards for a holiday let I'd stay there. Good food, comfortable beds, sky TV, good company, wonderful views and the most excellent staff from the reception as you enter through to the office staff, on to the domestic assistants, chefs with a flare for good tasting food and not forgetting the doctors and nurses who make sure all is well and calm. If I'm being very honest I have had worse holidays than staying in Simbec and they pay me to be there. Don't get me started on that, Tunisia, never again, what a waste of money and time apart from the history sites I visited.

The Cannula that I have in for 22 hours. Its half the size of my forearm but then again I am petite LOL.

All the other guys on the study have also been great once again, polite, quiet and interesting conversation. One of the other victims, I mean study patients is a photographer with a great eye for a amazing shot. He showed me his website and I have to say its as good as any photography I've seen from the famous photographers. I was going to post some of his pictures on here but I think they must be security covered. If your looking for a picture or canvas to adorn your wall in your home or business then I would say take a look on Neil's site and get in touch.

Another boring Sunday last Sunday but at least it was sunny, well, it was when we left. To get out of the house Helen decided to take me to St. David's the smallest City in the UK. We drove about 2 hours until we got to St. David's, by the time we were there it was grey and dull, BRILLIANT!
Never mind, we're here lets have a nosey. The first thing that come in to mind was "Midsomer Murders". Don't get me wrong its a beautiful little place but looked like a place where a murder would take place every week by a country bumpkin over a wedge of cheese. It was very pretty with great little coffee shops and local shops but also at the same time looked void of any people or they were hiding because there were "strangers in these parts" so just twitched the lace curtains. It had a cathedral along with stately building that was being restored, I love stuff like that. I'm not a Tony Robinson time team type person but I do love a historical building. Did I really just say that? Blimey, where's my bobble hat and wax jacket LOL.

St. David's, if your over West Wales way it's a must visit.

Kevlar's Cooking Class is in session. Today we will be cooking Lobster tail with Scallops and Prawns.

First marinade the cooked prawns with Sweet red chilli for an hour. Get your lobster tail and cut in half, cover one half in a homemade mild chilli butter and the other half leave natural, place under medium grill for 12 mins till cooked. Fry the Scallops with a homemade herb and garlic butter for 4 mins each side.
Create a side salad and make a Olive oil, Balsamic vinegar and honey dressing to pour over salad.
Serve on a plate all together, sit down and stuff your gob with the whole lot then fall asleep in chair.

Now you may be thinking !OOOOooooooooh, look at him with the fancy pants food". No not at all. Co Op reduced section, £1.29 large pack of fresh prawns (not frozen), £4 for 2 fresh lobster tails (not frozen), £2.50 for 6 fresh scallops (not frozen). The whole meal cost £8 for 2. My services for cooking are priceless LOL.

"Its rant time, everybody loves a rant time, we all love a rant time, IT'S RANT TIME!"

On the train the other morning on my way to Simbec it was rather full, peaceful but full. I was sat by the window happily watching the world go by with peace all around me. We stopped at Llanelli and every seat got taken up, it was early morning commuters. As they got on I could hear someone on a phone as they walked on, the sound got closer and closer until the lady of around 25 sat next to me still talking on her phone. I gathered she was talking to her female friend on the other end. How did I know this, well maybe this gave it away:- "YOU SHAGGED HIM? REALLY? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. YOU SHAGGED HIM IN HIS CAR? YOU DIRTY COW, HA,HA,HA,HA,HA!" The conversation carried on at that intellectual level for another 10 mins, I wish close to taking my own life by smashing her phone into my ears to pierce my brain. Thank god we went in to a tunnel. I hate talking on the phone full stop and I never answer it with members of the public around. The ultimate mobile phone nightmare is speaker phone conversation, SHUT UP!

Customer etiquette at the till. I have always been polite when at the till. If someone behind me has 1 to 3 items and I have a full basket or trolley I will always let them go first, that's me. A few months ago I had 1 item and a mature of age lady in no rush to go anywhere due to her age had a full trolley was in front of me. She looked at me, saw I had just 1 item, smiled at me and proceeded to get all her crap out of her trolley and make me wait. YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? As time went by I mellowed to that incident, until last Friday.
Same supermarket, same till. I had just 1 item. In front was a middle aged lady with a full trolley. She looked me up and down without a smile, saw I had 1 item, stuck her nose in the air and proceeded to empty her trolley. GOD DAMN YOU! I got 1 freaking item, no need to look at me as though I'd farted in your face, how rude of her. So from now on when I go shopping no one is going before me and i'm taking a carrier bag full of pennies to pay for my shopping. SOD ALL YOU 1 ITEM SHOPPER HATERS LOL.


My little minion has released another trailer for his summer movie. I so can't wait to see the little guy again. I bet he's been naughty while guarding the bar. Until we all see Kevin again here is that ne trailer:-

Well its still raining out and I'm starting to go a little stir crazy sat here as you won't believe it but been on this now for 3 hours. I fancy a nice dessert like a crumble pie with custard or a chocolate fudge cake with cream, that would so good right now.

So my fine blog readers and friends its time to say bye bye now, bye, bye.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!


Thanks to a little lad called Richard I had forgot to update you with my thoughts on the 6 nations.

Before I do that I had put a pools bet on of 11 football matches to win this weekend that would have brought me in £621,764.10. The first game was M/borough V Leeds which kicked off at 12.45pm all the others were 3pm. MB being top of the league and playing well I bet on them to win. Richards Dirty Leeds won which means my pools bet lost straight away and guess what.........the other 10 all won. DAMN YOU DIRTY LEEDS LOL.

So now I've wiped the tears from my eyes, 6 nations update.

First game Wales V England. No excuses here, England in the second half were by far the better team, they played with the ball and kept possession where as Wales went back to dark ages of rugby, kicking the ball at every opportunity to try and pin England back in their own half, there's one problem, England are a huge team and can all run fast and hard with the ball. Get a grip Wales.

Second game Wales V Scotland. I did say before the 6 nations started Scotland are much improved and dark horses of this tournament. Again, no excuses, Wales were lucky to win and did not look convincing. The only plus point for wales is we have players who win 96% of 50/50 high balls but you have to keep the ball once you win it which we didn't against England.

In saying all that in 2013 we lost the first game and won the rest and went on to win the tournament but I think that's a long shot this time unless we beat France and Italy by a huge margin as the Ireland game will either be close or an Irish rout.

Sorry to one and all for forgetting about the 6 nations and thank you to Little Richard (The dirty Leeds supporter not the singer) for reminding me.

I will now be go back to crying over my lost bet.

Note:- Underneath this update is a small update with regards to the Charity Trek, there was no need for it to be advertised on facebook but you can have a read if you wish.

Sunday, 8 February 2015


Ok, I'm sorry if my previous update was a bit confusing to the odd person about the charity trek, I apologies so I shall make it more simple and clearer for blog readers to understand.

I have been receiving anonymous messages saying "Why should people pay for your expenses to go to Peru?", "Why don't I do something in Wales?", "Why aren't I donating?" etc, etc.

Here it is all cleared up I hope, READ CAREFULLY LOL

It goes without saying that i will be paying my own travel expenses, thought that would just be obvious. I will be donating the initial minimum sponsorship entry fee, again I thought that would just be obvious that I'm also making a donation. They won't let people join the Trek just for £100 of sponsorship cause so many people want to do it and there are limited places, this is why there is a minimum sponsorship entry limit of a few thousand. Any charity event whether it be sitting in a bath of beans for comic relief or wearing a pair of fake teeth all day for children in need the people doing the task will always be raising sponsorship. You do an event to capture the publics imagination for them to sponsor you which are donations otherwise known as sponsorships. Sponsored fun run, sponsored silence, sponsored dance-a-thon. Everything needs sponsorship for any charity event.
I chose the Machu Picchu Trek after seeing an advert in the Daily Mail for people needed for a charity hike and its stuck in my head for the past 3 years, so this is why I've chose it instead of Wales, it captured my imagination. Not much of a challenge if I was going to do a sponsored sheep sheering day in Rhyl is it LOL.

All Sponsorships whether it be £5 to however much will be asked for in a personal or bank cheque direct to the charity so nothing will be in my name at all and no cash will be taken either. Also the cheques will not be asked for until after the event is completed.

I hope this clears up everything.

Here is one of the organisation that do the charity Trek, not decided which organisation i'm using yet. It will all depend on start date of April Treks with each of them. I need to find which one starts more towards the beginning of April.

Sunday, 1 February 2015

WINTER SEASON 8, EPISODE 3, "If retirement is gonna be like this god help me"

Well, well, well, if it isn't update time. About time I know.
So its been 4 weeks since I finished at Toys R Us and what have I done.................BUGGER ALL!
I am starting to go stir crazy, how the Jeremy Kyle guests and viewers cope I don't know, sitting around all day in their onesies eating left over kebab from the night before for breakfast while seeing if one of their relatives have managed to get on the show. How the other half live LOL.
So I will have to talk about general topics that have arisen over the past month as I've been more of a hermit than Herman and his.
Lets begin with my cold. Now lots of people think when men get a cold its called "Man Flu" but its only women who call it that. The fact is its just a cold but isn't a cold just a pain in the ass. It makes you feel like poop and for me I don't take tablets at all so I just roll with it but I will do everything I can to shake the little beggar. Hot fresh honey and lemon, warm rooms and stay tucked up under a quilt to drive it out. It also come at a bad time for me as I have been offered another medical study so needed to get clear of it before my pre-medical which I had last week.
Yes its human guinea pig time.
This time its 4 visits over 4 weeks staying in 3 nights every week. On the first Day of each visit I have to have.........wait for it........23 needles within 15 hours. OUCH! Good job I don't have a problem with needles.
I passed my ECG, Blood Pressure tests and doctors examination so now just waiting for my blood and urine sample test results to come back tomorrow
Dear blog readers, please do not panic with the news I am about to tell you.
BEWARE! We are about to have........WEATHER! YES, you read right.......WEATHER!
In Summer we may have......SUN! In Autumn we may have.........RAIN! In Spring we may have.........FROST! and now we are in Winter and we may have.........SNOW! So please everybody if you see white flakes falling from the sky this is called "Snow". The first thing you must do is get your phone, take a picture and put it on facebook. No one has ever seen snow before so make sure you do this at the very first sight of a flake. I am not on facebook so here is my pictures of "Snow" so you know exactly what to look out for.
Snow to the front of me.


Snow to the back.

If you see this cold white matter do not, I repeat, DO NOT PANIC! It will go away eventually.
On a serious note, why oh why oh why do the news and papers make such a big thing about snow.

Christmas came and went as I said without any major event but I did get a good stock of Jack Daniels. I have a very good taste for Jack Daniels Honey at the moment i was so pleased to get 2 large bottles in my Christmas sock (stockings are for girls) and a bottle of  Winter Jack Daniels, very nice it is too. Do not be alarmed, I have not turned in to an alcoholic again but I am trying real hard LOL.

"Its rant time, everybody loves a rant time, we all love a rant time, IT'S RANT TIME!"

TV shows, more to the point, so called Talent TV reality shows. You know the ones, they show off skills for everyday things like cooking.
I think the first show was Masterchef which started in 1990 with loyd Grossman. We still have that show 25 years on only now its gone from home cooks, to Celebrities to Professionals. Then we have the very popular "Great British Bake Off", I can understand that, we like a slice of cake with a cup of tea every now and again. Stretching it a bit we then had "The Great British Sewing Bee", now we may be getting people just a bit to excited with sewing needle skills. BBC's jewel in the crown "The Big Allotment Challenge", this where allotment owners are challenged to grow a vegetable that looks like something rude, you know what I mean, like what Esther Rantzen would give the cross eyed bloke on "That's Life" so he could make up a rude innuendo about it while sat in his leather studded chair and smoking jacket on, what was all that about!
What the hell we gonna have next, "Britain's Great Match Model Building Show", "The Great British Tea Stewing" , "Master Complainer", " The Trainspotting Factor". STOP ALREADY! Stop rewarding people with plastic trophies and a book deal for doing mundane crap past times.

Talking of pastimes, I have decided in April 2016 I am going to trek to the top of Machu Picchu in Peru for charity with an official organisation who arranges people to make the trek in aid of whatever charity they like. Now I can choose the charity that I want to raise money for and will need to organise my own sponsorship. I wanted to do the hike to raise money for the mentally handicapped children's school on the island as the school is looking very tired and the play area is very old and not that safe looking if I'm being honest. There is a problem though, I don't think they will class the school as an official charity so I have decided to do the trek for a similar UK charity but not sure which one. I would like to do it for one of the smaller children's charities that the funding would help allot more.
Why next year? Well it will take time to find sponsorship. Before I even step on the plane I need to show I have £3500 sponsorship which I will be donating Myself and then more sponsorship will be raised to hopefully raise allot for the chosen charity, so this is why I've aimed at April 2016 as April is when they start to do the charity treks. It's a 24 mile trek up to the peak of 2,430 metres where the Inca settlement lies.

Here is an artists impression of what my charity trek will look like.

Note:- Sing the next part to the melody of Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff Richard. We can still mention Sir Cliff can't we?
"Easter time, chocolate eggs are mine. Bunnies called Frank making bonnets in time. With kids throwing up, because of their greed, but what about Jesus, what about him indeed".
Yes its Almost Easter, well its not really. Children, Easter is about the resurrection of Jesus not chocolate eggs, ask your parents about what the significance of the egg is to the story of Jesus.
Even though Easter is ages away the choccie eggs are on the shelves already, so are Cadbury Crème Egg Biscuits. These are now the King of Biscuits. It was Caramel Chocolate Digestives but NOM,NOM,NOM, these bad boys are soooooooo GOOOOOD!

HANG ON! What the hell is going on? There is No Gooooo in my biscuit. I have taken photographic evidence and I am planning a major campaign to get compensation of half shares in Cadbury World.
Did you know Cadbury World is in Bourneville which is also a bar of chocolate by Cadbury. How strange is that?

No Gooooo underneath it.

No Gooooo inside it, I feel so cheated LOL.

Got no updates from the Rock or about the bar, All pretty low key this year as you know last year was a huge year with a complete refurbishment but there may be some huge news on an addition to the bar, can't say too much at the moment as only made first approach to a company this weekend and I'm not that confident in the reply as they must get thousands of approaches each day but you never know, stranger things have happened, WATCH THIS BLOG. I don't mean just watch it, I mean read it but keep an eye on it for the update. I don't mean keep an eye on it like someone is going to steal it as you can't steal a blog. You can hack a blog but I think the Koreans have got bigger fish to fry.

So what does the future hold for me until the next update. Well, boredom, bad weather, healthy eating and no more alcohol until mid March after my medical research. That means no pints while watching the 6 nations rugby. How am i going to cope with that I don't know. Will have to shout at the TV without being drunk. Mind you that's easy when we're playing Enn-geer-land. Only joking you lovely English, No excuses for any loses though you red rose wearing chariot drivers OK. I know what its going to be already "6 of our first team are out injured". Come on now, you still got great players and think you will do well but I think it will be Ireland's year again and Scotland look much improved so they could be dark horses. Wales I will say second place even though it sticks in my throat but I'm being honest.

So until an update from my research bed I shall bid ye farely well my good followers.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!