Friday, 23 September 2016


Wise words for the day: "Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime"
Do you know what wise and all knowing philosopher said that..........Danny Dyer in The Business.

Helllloooooo my wonderful blog followers, now i know its been a long long time but its been just work, work, work. I really can't believe what a season I've had, just brilliant is all i can say but these aching ageing bones are starting to feel the stress and strain, saying that, i can still beat Husain Bolt in a sprint to the supermarket.

Over the course of this season so many people have come in and said "We're so glad to see you back, we missed you last year" or "We don't care why you weren't here last year we're just glad your back". Its such a nice feeling to know your a big part of peoples holidays even though its just a plain and simple bar.

So what do i have for you this exciting update.

Lets start with Kevlar's Crumpet Creations. I was having a discussion with Ian & Lisa, you remember them, my guard picture on my display cabinet, about mushrooms in food and what they should and shouldn't be used for. On their next visit to the island they brought me a tin of Bachelors Creamy Mushrooms. Never seen them before so i thought, cool, a new food experience.
After opening the tin and cooking them off i can see why the makers are called "Bachelors" cause if your going to eat tinned food such as this you deserve to be a bachelor, i hear its Cliff Richards favorite food (I am still allowed to mention him aren't I?). Its the only food i know which is grey in color and actually tastes grey. What type of evil food genius would make something that tastes of grey? And not only that once i had cooked it in the non stick pan it wouldn't leave the non stick pan. It was like mushrooms in grey sealant silicon. My tap water would take the skin off a crocodile its that hot, didn't touch it. I boiled the kettle and poured it over the pan, the water didn't even go cloudy. It just wouldn't budge. In the end it took a spachelor first, then a wire pad, then boiling water. If anyone wants to come up with a solution for pot holes in the roads just fill them with Bachelors creamy mushrooms.

This updates crumpet creation is Crumpet with 3 bean chilli topped with grey.

Its cabinet time. As i stated before, the dust is building up lovely on the shelves and its all YOUR fault. If they were empty i could just run a cloth over them but no, you had to buy tat for it just to make my life a misery.
So here is the full view to start so you can see the positioning of all the fine items i have been given.

Firstly a very fine in fact quite pretty piece of tat that was given to me by Elliot and Bethany. Its another turtle, Yay! can never have to many turtle heads to polish

As you can see from this second view it is quite detailed so not any ordinary piece of tat, its a work of art piece of tat.

Here in honor of my kids (the ducks) the Roberts clan bought me again a fine piece of porcelain, maybe not. I was told its the very rare sperm back duck.

From this view you can see why its called Sperm Back Duck. How impressive is that.

Now there is a criteria for anything displayed in the cabinet, it has to be from a local tourist shop on the island so you spread the wealth but just out of the shear awfulness of "Why would someone buy that?" Kevin and Joyce brought me this from the UK. This will be the only UK item displayed on my cabinet, no more from the UK will go on it but then again i doubt it could be topped by anything anyway.

The slogan says "CARLISLE, Travel there in rail comfort", TERRIBLE PUN!

Now this wasn't a gift for my display cabinet but it was such a generous gift from Gill & Les. You all know i like my pig outs, well they decided to thank me for my hospitality during their holiday by buying me a mixed grill from Puzzle restaurant next door to Oceanic. It consist of a whole farm on a plate or in this case a 12" pizza box, due to the fact i want to stay healthy i told them to forget the salad, why spoil it. It was a wonderful gesture and a lovely surprise, so thank you both once again.

Meat list: Chicken, lamb chops, pork chops, meatballs, village sausage, mini racks of ribs, steak and onion rings. Yes i did eat it all in one sitting, can feel my heart clogging as i look at this again.

You may have remembered quite a few updates back that Porthcawl in South Wales has the biggest Elvis convention in Europe and guess what, its this weekend. So i was looking at the website for it and came across this picture. Is this the least looking Elvis you've ever seen? He looks like when you see in a horror film a plane crashed years ago in a tree and they find the pilot dead in the cockpit, well, he looks like that pilot.

Obviously didn't try on the shirt when he bought it.

And finally.........Just thought i would end with a funny sign i saw on the platform of Queen Street train station in Cardiff  "Trains Stop Here". This is printed on the floor in the very center of the platform, of course bloody trains stop here, its a train station.

So until the end of season update my wonderful people........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!