Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Thats christmas over, watch out London!

Ok this is a long update so get comfy LOL.

Well christmas was lovely spent christmas day with my mum and had a lovely christmas dinner after opening all my presents from my family, christmas night went to helens where i had my second christmas in one day so it was a great day all round.

Boxing day was slightly different to christmas day, well for one i didn't get any presents although there was plenty of turkey but it was a great day of chilling out before heading off in to Carmarthen town to meet up with a few people for a great night of drinks and partying, or so i thought!

My night started off with a drink in a bar that all towns have got even Kalamaki , yes that traditional british bar the "rose & crown" on entering it was very busy and a nice bar, £5.60 for 2 drinks so again not to bad and a few seats available so the bar itself was fine. The people in this bar all seemed very nice and just out for a good night, so a big thumbs up from kevlar!

On to the second bar "Diablos" cocktail bar, this is the new jewel in the Carmarthen social scene "and our public survey says uuh, uurghh". As i walked in i thought what a lovely decor but a bit cramped. So on to the bar where i thought i would order 2 cocktails. After looking at the wide selection of just 8 cocktails none of which were popular ones i chose 2. After seeing the price of each cocktail £5.50, yes you did read that correct £5.50 so for those no good at maths thats £11 for 2 drinks, i thought i must be getting a gallon of it or having service like the Ritz Hotel, in fact i got neither. So i ordered a Bay Breeze and a Mojito and wow how amazing were these cocktails, its the first time i've ordered a cocktail and its tasted nothing like the cocktail its meant to be, GENIUS! Not only that but its also the first time i've seen Captain Morgans dark rum added to a Mojito with the mint, lime and sugar just thrown in a glass and stirred not even crushed together before going in the glass. My advice, get rid of the cocktails as they also took 3 times as long to make as any other cocktail bar i've been in. Kevlars rating, avoid it.

On to the third bar "The Queens" On stepping in to this bar i thought what a quaint theme pub and that theme being a cross between "The Woolpack" from Emerdale and the local pub in "Heartbeat" but no, thats what the pub was actually like. I don't think it had seen a refurb since Winston Churchill was in power and the TV in the corner of bar i think is well past its analogue sell by date as its remote control was in fact a stick that you pushed the channel buttons with. I was expecting to see Gary Sparrow walk in from "Goodnight Sweetheart" and start to give us a tune on the old piano but my Smirnoff and Sprite was served in a short glass which i like so one bonus point for that. Ideal pub for someone who's an older local remembering when it was all fields or if you got wellies and flat cap.

On to the fourth and final bar (thank god), "The Spread Eagle" now before i even entered this bar i instantly thought to myself this is the position the police put suspects in to pat them down when searching for weapons or drugs!!! As i walked in the woft of stale booze with the hint of sick hit me, so straight away i knew i was entering a classy place. Before i could even say "Hello, i'm Kevin" i was greeted by a wobbling young lady who was a family friend of Helens telling me she was coming on holiday to Zante and putting herself up in my apartment , how kind of her LOL. On to the bar where my shirt sleeves helped to mop up the spilt drink and my vodka was of the cheapest meths variety. I also found i think the only DJ in the world with no sense of music knowledge going from Katrina and the Waves "walking on sunshine" to Kings of Leon "sex on fire" to John Parrs "St Elmos fire" and being as 90% of the people in there were most probably born at the end of the 80's the last song out of those 3 would have been as well known as a book without Harry Potter in it or a written letter or in some cases even a pen. Only go here when your nearly drunk that way you won't care about what the bars like.

So to sum up Carmarthen for a night out in all honesty i'd say go to Rose & Crown then go to another town for the rest of the evening LOL.

The day after boxing day which i guess is bank holiday monday was a lovely day out. I woke up early and got dressed, of course i showered before i got dressed but after i woke as i'm not clever enough to shower while asleep and its difficult to shower when dressed. Out to Swansea we went and off the the cinema at midday to see Sherlock Holmes where i purchased 2 V.I.P. seats, 1 small popcorn and 1 small Zero Coke all for the rip off price of £21.60. On entering the theatre we found to American sized people sat in the seats next to ours with there feast to feed the 5000 stored on one of the seats i had selected. Now when i checked on the booking screen before i bought the tickets at the desk i made sure there was no one either side, in front or behind us who would spoil our viewing by getting in the way or having to hear someone grazing on crisps while slurrping on a Kiaora so the seats the American size couple were in should of been empty. Helen told them that the seat their meal deal for 20 was placed on was in fact ours they said it was taken so not to cause a fuss she sat down the other side of their personal store of pic n mix. 5 mins later a gentleman arrived the other side of them only to tell them that one of them was in his seat to which they then moved their mountain of survival food for 2 hours that would feed a small village in outer Mongolia for a week on to their laps. WHAT THE F*@$! So they lied about the seat was taken just so they didn't have to reach to far in to the many buckets they had but not only that they didn't pay the extra for the V.I.P. seats they were sat in. Its a good job Helen sat closest to them as i would have gone to toilet past them and accidently fallen in their laps. Anyway the film was great best of the ones i've seen this year, good storyline, well directed, well acted and the comedy was very subtle nothing stupid or slapstick, looking forward to the next installment, another big thumbs up from Kevlar!

After the film we went to "La Tasca" restaurant which i loved, we had Tapas and some Sangria so went spanish for a changed and it all tasted so good and will definately go again at some point. Then it was home to crash out for the evening, so in all its been the busiest christmas i've had in years and really enjoyed it and tomorrow i head off to London till the 2nd Jan so i will update when i get back from my invasion, sorry tour of London with a dodgy Danny Kaye Cockney accent.

Friday, 25 December 2009

Its Christmas!

A merry happy drunken christmas to you all.

Well i must have been a very good boy for santa this year as my presents were the best yet.
Santa didn't get stuck in my chimney as i haven't got one.
I had 3 walnuts that were put in a marbles bag so i guess its a 2 in 1 present which means i have to use the walnuts as marbles until i get bored then eat them.
A satsuma without mold on it, without pips in it and the skin polished to perfection.
A hessian sack to cut up and to line my soless boots.
But the icing on the cake this christmas for me was in fact the icing on the cake as last year there wasn't any.
My traditonal christmas dinner was better than even Heston Blumenthal could come up with, brown papper that tasted of a goose with fresh vegetable peel which included the skins of potatoes, carrots, parsnip and the outside leaves of sprouts all served on my lap.
So all together its been a great day so far and already counting down the days till next christmas.

Hope you all got what you wanted from the big man in red as i was very spoilt as you can see.


Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Merry Christmas to all my lovely customers, family and friends.

HO,HO,HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY LOVELY CUSTOMERS. (This saves a hell of alot on christmas cards)

Well its a cold, white and wet december with only 3 days to go till the big day but i have already had an early christmas present......crap factor is not No.1, WOOHOO! YABBA DABBA DO! LET THE BELLS RING OUT! UP YOUR WAZZOO SIMON COWELL! I like the 500,00 other people bought my copy of the classic Rage against the machines "Killing in the name" to help topple the evil Cowell and his dark empire of bland karaoke wannabe christmas number ones. Now don't get me wrong this has nothing to do with Joe Mcbigmac but i like the others were fed up with predictable christmas number ones from the crap factor. I in fact bought this song on its first release in 1992 along with their album (for those younger readers i have i'll explain, an album is what we used to buy to listen to songs on, before the CD, LOL) and i was playing rage against the machine at the rock club i worked in at the beginning of this year so i was promoting it 10 months ago haha!

All my presents have now been bought and wrapped, looking forward to christmas day to have the day off as its been a long hard physical 2 months at the store which has now taken its toll and feeling very tired, after all since May 4th i've only had 12 days off so its the first time i've been looking forward to a break, also really excited about going to London for new year as i've either DJ'd in a club or stayed in so it will be nice to get out have a meal and party at the Hard Rock.

I will update my blog every week from now till the start of the season so then we can all get excited about your holidays and we can all get built up until we're back on our beautiful island of Zakynthos.

Don't forget the Oceanic tour which in fact is kicking off in Carmarthen on Boxing day where we are meeting up with a few holidaymakers from this season, then London 30th Jan-2nd Dec followed by Dublin 5th-8th Feb after that Blackpool or Bury or Manchester in March not sure which yet as still looking at hotels with weekend offers for 3 nights but none available to book until after new year and then York at begining of April finishing with a weekend in Ilfracombe or Weston-super-mare before we fly out at the end of April.

Hope you all have a wonderful christmas and hope you don't have to much turkey and sprouts to get through. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

E-mail me on oceaniczante@hotmail.com

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

BA cabin crew strike, poor things, awwwww!

Well blow me down with a feather, BA cabin crew are going on strike for 12 days because of their jobs, pay and working conditions. GOD NO!

I agree with them completely!

After all look at the terrible uniforms they have to wear which is given to them, OUTRAGEOUS!

All that walking they have to do up and down the aisles, they must cover metres and metres, BLESS!

Wearing all that make up, must take them hours to trowel it on, must play havoc with their back and neck muscles all that weight, POOR THINGS!

Having to put on that fake stroppy attitude as though they're better than you cause they can push a trolley while saying "would you like any over priced drinks sir?", HEARTBREAKING!

The humiliation of not having to do the emergency procedure as now they show it on the planes TV's which gives them even less to do, I'M ALMOST IN TEARS!

And the final straw that broke the camels back the 2/3 day stop over in another country on a long haul flight, THATS IT I'M A CRYING WRECK!

You can see where they're coming from can't you after all nurses got it easy, a soldiers life is a walk in the park, miners don't even break in to a sweat, steel workers are having a laugh, police have got no pressure what so ever, teachers may as well not even be there as all pupils are such angels.

In case you don't know me that well i'm being sarcastic LOL.

There are plenty of people who would step in to their shoes in heartbeat and probably do a better job than alot i've met on flights with BA, in this dark age of recession they should be lucky that they've even got jobs and should be thankful they're only having hours cut not having the jobs taken away from them, and as for working conditions thats the biggest joke of all, its not like they were given the job, never shown a plane before then told "right thats a plane and your on it for 12 hours, get on with it" The job of cabin crew has been the same since air travel began in fact the conditions have got better, better seats, better uniforms, better food (just) and even on a 3 1/2 hour flight i've seen the cabin crew for the matter of 90 mins all together, thats not bad hours of work, then for the other 2 hours they talk about where they're going on their night off and which guy/girl they've decided to call up for a drink on the night out in question.

So stop being prima donnas, get back on those planes and stop making peoples lives a misery over the holiday season or we'll all make your life hell when you want to serve us mid air, VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

And so the Oceanic tour begins!

As promised i said there would be an Oceanic tour and i begin that tour in London on the 30th Dec till Jan 2nd, "KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN, KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN", Blimey just got off the dog and bone wiv the hotel geezer and got a blindin bargain for 3 nights including new years eve and breakfast included, £120, thats for all 3 nights not per night or per person, RESULT! To save taking the jam jar me and me bird booked a Pat Roach from Swansea to London return £24 per person, LOVELY JUBLEY! So its a bit of a spending spree, take in a show, new years eve night at Hard Rock Cafe then down to the Thames for the fireworks, "ROLL OUT THE BARREL". Taking a fair bit of bangers and mash to hit Arrods, get some jellied eels and visit the Michael Jackson Exhibition, "MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M A WOOLYBACK THAT I LOVE LONDON TOWN".

On to February (January is wallet recovery month LOL) and its over to sunny Ireland and Dublin thats Feb 5th till the 7th maybe 8th "TO BE SURE!" Bring on the Six Nations rugby, on the 6th Ireland play Italy at home (HOORAY) and Wales play England at Twickenham (BOOOOOO!) so that will be a great day "TOP OF THE MORNING TO YAH!" not sure of where we're staying yet maybe a hotel but may be staying with Helens brother, see what we decide. Think that will be a good weekend all round you may want to join us "GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON" lots of eating out and lots of real proper Guinness "DRINK, FEK, DRINK".

So if anyone would like to meet up with us on one of those days in London or Dublin at some point just e-mail me at my new e-mail address and i will give you all the details of where we're staying and what times we'll be around.

So now you have the start of the tour dates what else has been going on in the life of Kev, well i got the must have Go Go Hamster, see thats the plus point of working for the worlds biggest toy store. He is the most popular of the Hamsters and his name is Mr. Squiggles, aawwwwww! "Any takers, roll up roll up get your Go Go Hamster here".

Since i've been home i've been working 6 out of 7 days every week but one week they were kind enough to give all the night shift a night off, wow miracles do happen, well it is christmas after all. So i looked at what was going on and treated ourselves to a night in Cardiff with a Thai restaurant, a night in a hotel and the icing on the christmas cake, tickets to see Eddie Izzard in concert. I haven't laughed so much since watching Dumb and Dumber for the first time in Crete in 1995, my eyes were watering and my jaw was aching, absolutely brilliant, if you can get a hold of his "Stripped" concert on DVD for Christmas get it, i want a jazz chicken, you'll understand if you watch the DVD.

Well thats it for now but i will try to update my dull blog weekly from now on but i am very busy and tired now what with Santa being a right git getting us to do so much work and soon making us work 10 days straight through, you wouldn't believe what a nightmare boss he is. Oh yes, you just see the lovely gentle red suited old man with his groomed white beard and his "Ho Ho Ho" and "Merry Christmas everybody" when really he's a smelly, grotty, mince pie munching alcoholic who does one days work every year. Do you know why christmas only comes once a year? No, its not cause its the birthday of some guy called Jesus its cause little Saint Nic is to piddled to get off his fat ass to do anything until Dec 25th, why do you think Rudolph has a red nose? Its cause he's Mr. Christmas's drinking buddy.

Anyhooo time for sleep as just got in from my night shift, HAHA!

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

A christmas baby is born.

I'd like to congratulate my very best friends Thassos and Dimitra (Drunk Corner) on the birth of their baby girl this morning. I was on the bus home at 8am when i got a call from Thassos letting me know, now i won't talk on my phone in public and especially not on a bus but this was one call i've been waiting for so there was no way i wasn't going to answer it. Thassos said he was in space and didn't know what was happening, their baby girl was born fit and healthy and can't wait to see all 3 of them in April as myself and Helen had already started buying them baby things ready for the birth when we were on Zakynthos, wait till you see the baby in the guns n' roses babygrow i've bought it, (honest i have), myself and Helen will raise a glass to all 3 of you sunday guys, i'm so pleased for you, here's to good health and happiness your little girl will bring you. Yammas!