Friday, 11 October 2019

Day 161...A quick return trip to UK

Friends, family, countrymen lend me your eyes!

Hmmm doesn't really work for a blog does it. For those not so well educated its my version of Marc Antony speech written by William Shakespear "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears".
I guess you can't say that anymore anyway as not "P.C." These days it would have to be:-
"Facebook Friends, All nationalities, Country all gender persons, lend me your screens"

Anywhoooo taking off today on a quick whistle stop tour back to UK which i return from to the island on Thursday. So no tears just yet that I'm closed for 2019 as i will re-open on 17th as don't leave the rock till end Oct and got all flights and hotels booked (Phoenix Hotel Zakynthos, Sofitel Geneva and Charlotte Hotel, Fitzrovia London) and to tight to miss out on those stays.

But you must stay SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH, to my mum, i'm going to surprise her, Sian already knows as i told her so she's one excited bunny and maybe take in a Cardiff Devils game on Tuesday before i head back. Long way to travel just to see a ice hockey game but their hot dogs are sooooooo good!

So just to keep everyone calm i will be back and open again once more this season


In the words of the great Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...............

Serve All. Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out.

Sunday, 6 October 2019

Day 155..."The finish line is in sight" - Thank God!


Hello my loyal followers , how are we this fine wet and stormy day?

Thomas Cook is gone but still there is no let up in the bar. Thought it would maybe die of quite a bit but even last night the bar was full which I'm amazed at as this time of the season its usually just steady but with the end of TC i thought that would be it for the season but no, Oceanic has proved me wrong once again and that's down to you , the wonderful customer for making this season a record breaking season all round. 
I think after this weekend though the resort will be pretty empty with many places closing down. 

May - Best May in 13 seasons
June - Best June in 13 seasons and best night ever on June 6th
July - Best July in 13 Seasons
Aug - Best Aug in 13 seasons
Sept - Best Sept in 13 seasons and on Sept 17th equalled my best ever season which was 2018
Oct - So far beating best ever Oct in 13 seasons but early days yet.

Since 7th May had only 16 nights where i haven't been full at some point.

So a huge massive thank you to all who visited Oceanic this season.

So what happens now with Thomas Cook gone? Who knows what next season will bring.
Lots of tourists posting their sad stories online about losing their honeymoon, missing their dream holiday, had to stay in UK as lost holiday, poor you.
Lets look at the bigger picture here. 
Holidaymakers will all get their money back IF ATOL protected so even though you missed this holiday you will get your money back and be able to book another holiday at a later date.
Thomas Cook staff have all lost their jobs and some families are already struggling.
As for the hotels this has a huge knock on effect which makes the tourists sad stories look like a happy ever after story.
The hotels have lost 3 months of revenue which they won't get back.
Staff will lose their jobs along with not getting paid and could be without their winter living money from the tax payments.
Suppliers to the hotels/apartments won't get paid as products are usually all on tick and paid up when the tour companies way in with their money.
The Suppliers won't have the money to pay off the manufacturers of the products they buy.
So before we all start posting sob stories losing a holiday but getting your money back is nothing compared to the situations in resorts all over the world. 
Hotels could stay closed, families without any income from loss of jobs, suppliers could go bust, these are the real problems.
I think many accommodations will go with other European tour companies next season and not British as those tour companies don't put as much pressure on the Hoteliers to change things and upgrade.

Sian was booked with Thomas Cook to come over for my birthday.
That didn't stop the plucky little lady. She was that determined to be here for my birthday, she hunted high and low for flights and we got Sian a great deal £279 return for 4 days in from Gatwick and back  to Luton via Prague with only a 2 hour layover between connecting flights.
A bargain considering one way flights off the island the past 2 weeks have been ridiculous money up to 600-700 pound and then there were no direct flights off the island either.
That's a dedicated partner for you, going out of her way to get here.
So i decided to close the bar on my birthday as Sian had made such a huge effort to be here and booked us into the penthouse suite at the Phoenix Hotel in Zakynthos town.

The Penthouse suites are on the rooftop of Phoenix Hotel.


View from Penthouse to the back.


View to the front.


Lovely memory foam bed, such a good sleep.


Our private sunbeds.


Balcony dining and lounge area.


Nice little living area.


View out from bedroom.


Quite a big bedroom.


And of course toilet with shower room.


Sian and i had a wonderful day and night.

First we watched Liverpool beat Sheff Utd in the afternoon, Yay!
Then in the evening Zakynthos town had laid on a firework display, boat gala and marching bands for my birthday which i thought was extremely nice of them but i don't like to make a fuss of my birthday as i don't like celebrating it.
Then i found out the celebrations weren't for me at all, Phew! All the goings on were to celebrate a naval battle, Battle of Nafpaktos in 1571.





All very pleasant it was too, then off to food at a Gyros restaurant next to Alpha Bank in St. Marcos square. We ordered a mixed meat platter for 2 and it was huge, i mean it looked like a farmyard of animals on a plate.
As we were finishing our meal out came a birthday cake and happy birthday was sang in Greek. I noticed they had got my age wrong, I'm 51 but on the cake it had the number 12 made up in candles, ah, it wasn't for me it was a kids birthday phew and bugger. Phew because i get embarrassed easily when being sang at and bugger cause i like cake but didn't get any.

From here we moved on to Bliss Art Cafe for a drink. I was so stuffed it was uncomfortable to sit down.
We ordered our drinks and struggled to finish them but when you pay 18€ for 2 drinks you force yourself to finish them.

Then back to our penthouse suite to crash out on the bed and grizzle as we ate to much but what a great birthday it was and glad to have a night off with Sian from the bar.

I don't understand people who tell people its their birthday, the less people that know about my birthday the better for me.

We have the Suite again for the end of season as a little treat before we leave for our stay in London.

Well there are now 15 interests for Oceanic and no I'm not going to make it a bidding war, Its £10,000 and expenses, that's it and it will go to the person who i think will make a good go of it, maybe someones dream like i had when i first opened it, it would be nice to sell it to someone who wants a fresh start away from the UK but again that's a whole year away yet but if it's given to someone who isn't on the island they will have to start their paperwork in May 2020 to be ready for end of season.
If I'm being honest i just want this season out the way as its been exhausting and manic before i start thinking about season 2020 and then the sale after that.
Many of my customer have asked me not to sell, some have even pleaded with me, some have talked about starting a petition to keep me here but who are they going to send it to? Me, then i will say no I'm selling lol.
I'm very humbled by all the people wanting me to continue but I'm leaving on my terms and when I'm ready, a couple of people will love to see the back of me but that's their problem not mine. Jealousy is a terrible thing folks, HA!

So the bad weather is coming in, the nights are getting colder and the resort is starting to thin out as usual. Will i close early? No, i got lots of booze that needs drinking and boredom for me would soon kick in doing nothing until i leave so i may as well stay open as October is always a bonus month for me.

Strange thing someone said to me the other day. They read my blog and noticed through reading it that i eat allot of black pudding so they said "If you don't watch out you'll end up looking like one".
How is this possible? Even if i ate it for every meal every day for the rest of my life i still wouldn't end up looking like one. Now if i cut off my limbs and head, squeezed my body into black tight plastic and sealed it either end with metal clips THEN i might look like one but apart from doing that no i won't.

So i will leave you with this great sign from Manchester, how the mighty have fallen,
"The race for 6th" lol. I think from today that might be "The race to avoid relegation"


Until my last update from the rock..........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Monday, 23 September 2019

Day 139 - Am i being pranked?

So my dear dear followers how are we today?

Its been an incredible past 16 days and if i didn't know better i would think I'm being pranked.
Every single night he bar has been full from around 7.45pm and then continues in that way until about 11.30pm.
On one night i served my first drink at 7.20pm and did not stop making a drink for 1 second until 12.15am. I mean constant with no let up. I worked it out that i made a drink every 53 seconds and that's with taking the order, making the drink and serving it and having to clean tables with collecting glasses, UNREAL!
I truly am now a broken man.
I was bursting for a wee by 12.15am and boy was it a relief lol.
If i had closed on the 17th Sept i would have equalled my best season ever which was last year so as you can see it's been a manic, crazy, amazing 2019 and just the biggest huge thank you to all who have visited Oceanic this season.

Big dreadful sad news about Thomas Cook BUT i could see it coming, couldn't you?
The resort already seems subdued unlike other nights coming in to bar. Took a ride past Ionian Blue which is Thomas Cook i think at 5.30pm and only 4 around pool. Either that or they all having a siesta.
The hotels now have what decision to make, do they leave the tourists stay for free until their flights home or do they charge per night and ones who won't or can't pay have to leave? But the CAA have said that if your hotel tells you they want money for your room do not pay them, you are to call the call centre number first +44 1753 330 330

Another point, the hotels and apartments with Thomas Cook will now be empty for the rest of the season so do they close up shop now?
When they sold off half their fleet 3 years ago that was the beginning of the end.
Last year they sold off the other half, that then was the nail in their coffin. They did exactly the same as Toys r Us, they sold off all their buildings then leased them back like Thomas Cook did with the planes.
I feel very sorry for all the employees who have lost their jobs. People with holidays will get back home and get refunds for future bookings, they haven't lost their income.
Also for those who have booked their holiday with them, remember, its only a holiday, you haven't lost a limb or your house or a loved one or even your own life, its just a few days in the sun, no need for drama. In the big picture off life this is the size of a amoeba (microscopic living cell).
I'm more worried for the hotels and apartments with Thomas Cook, they won't get their money for the past 60-90 days of tourists.
They also may not get another tour company wanting to use them as many are not up to the standard for Tui and Jet2 so the owners would have to pay out a fortune to upgrade the standards which leaves them virtually empty for next year apart from the odd private bookings.
Also then there is the airport situation with Jet2, even if they do take them on Jet2 only fly from certain airports, so TUI would have the stranglehold on the market and they are expensive.
Then flight prices would go up and the private rooms would be to expensive to book as a package with TUI or Jet2 will work out cheaper. Very worrying for many hotels and apartments as Thomas Cook were the cheap option holidays who used the not so up to scratch accommodations.
This will have a huge knock on effect to all tourism and maybe lead to more none UK companies taking over the lesser hotels and apartments.
Very sad day for all involved with Thomas Cook.

On a happy note here's a picture of Jebus the donkey i found.


And a puppy Beagle i want to get awwwwww.


See that must have cheered you up.

So until the next longer update.......

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Friday, 6 September 2019

Day 123 - Forgot my password, bugger, but i'm back

So as you can see on day 99 i did start a blog update but logged out and then forgot my password hence just the little starter paragraph.

IT'S SEPTEMBER, YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAA! HOW YOU ALL DOING OUT THERE?

Even though i hate July and August apart from about 12 days throughout both those months it was a stormer of a period and 2019 season is now already my best season ever and still 7 weeks to go but it comes at a cost........I'm broken. I would be quite happy for the season to finish now as i explained to Sian and for the millennial's reading this "If i was a mobile phone I'd be on my final bar of power".

Had some strange nights in July and August as if it was Oct with old road being dead all night.

8.30 when people are usually off to the restaurants


10.30 when people are usually leaving the restaurants, even the shop closed early that night it was so dead.


IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? HELLLLOOOO?

Sian has just gone back yesterday after a 3 week stay which was so good, i needed her here so i would get a holiday. We had many date nights after i closed bar in Zakynthos Town, snorkeling, dined out allot, went out on adventures, had a movie day, had a few lazy days, lots of pool days, the odd beach day (yukky sand) but most of all just allot of quality time together and she's back very soon this month with maybe a trip to Athens for my birthday then back again in October to fly home together.

On one of our beach days Sian found a tiny crab walking along the sea edge, how she spotted it i don't know.


Not really done much apart from all the things with Sian as the bar has been manic, manic , manic and continues like it even up until last night, good job i have my emergency chairs.
Its also been a season of a few regular customers returning after a 4 year absence since 2015, the reasons i don't need to know and didn't ask but it was nice to see them back in again having drinks and laughs like old times, i don't have a problem with why they stayed away but so nice to see them all again over the past 4 months.

One day as i was riding through Zakynthos town on the port road and i had to do a double take. There was a boat moored up and on the top deck it had a helicopter, the boat is called "Cloudbreak". It cost £750,000 a week to rent. Just give me a call and i will tell you when its vacant lol.

I told the captain not to pick me up until October.


Now then, not much bugs me, I'm a pretty laid back guy BUT the locals and their parking grinds my gears. They park not in a parking space only 5 feet away from the door, OH NO, they have to park almost right at the door and here is 2 examples within a week.

At Lidl and 2 cars parked over bike park on the right of picture at front of store with 2 empty spaces only 5 feet away


And here is a car with a whole empty car park to choose from at 7am and you can see again how close the spaces are but that's to difficult so I'll just park right in front of the door.


I like to take a few pictures so thought I'd take a few early morning shots from the house.

The sunrise from my balcony.


In the opposite direction that same morning the moon.


And early morning mist over the field next to my house.


This season October can't come quick enough and its a quick trip to Geneva then on to London.
Why Geneva? I hear you ask, well...................Direct from here on the date i want to leave in Oct it was £400 for 2 of us, one way, no baggage or reserved seat with easyjet. Thomas Cook £490 for 2, one way, no baggage or reserved seat. TUI wanted £730 for 2 one way, no baggage or reserved seat.
So this is what i did. Swiss air to Geneva from Zakynthos with baggage, reserved seat, food and a drink £90 for 2. Night at Geneva airport in a Sofitel Hotel £60. Geneva to Gatwick £100 for 2 with baggage and reserved seat with Ryanair. In total for Sian and i it cost £250 with a night in Geneva.
How crazy but cool is that? We go to Switzerland allot so we know the hotel at the airport and there is plenty of bars and food places in the airport so don't have to venture far. Then 4 nights in London as a little holiday for myself and Sian at the Charlotte Hotel in Fitzrovia.

I amazed how many people are talking around the resort about me finishing up at the bar. Gossip must be very thin on the ground lol. I do wish they would get it right though, this season is NOT my last season, next year is but as I've said to few people, you never know there could be one more season in me after that but if the 9 people interested are serious in buying the business then a big decision will have to be made at the end of 2020 but that's ages away yet.

Mr. Jingles is now not in to salad, he loves the cake, cake , cake, cake, all day long but he has taken to nibbling the TV remote control.  I KNEW HE WAS WATCHING TV WHILE I'M OUT! LITTLE SHIT!

So there you go folks, I'm not dead or collapsed in a exhausted heap or done a runner, it's just been to damn hot and busy in bar and been enjoying my time with Sian.

So until the next update.........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar out.

Thursday, 5 September 2019

Day 99 - "Nine nine luftballon"

Now it's day 99 and nine nine luftballon are released in germany and come up on a radar as unidentified objects and start a nuclear war. What a stupid song.


Friday, 19 July 2019

Day 74 - "Experiments are going well!


Well hello everybody, sorry its taken so long for a update but it's been manic, crazy, wawawoohhoo up until this week. I'm not complaining one bit but it is nice to have a little bit of rest in the bar instead of 100 mph every night.
It's the dreaded July and August which i hate as never 2 nights are the same where as May, June, Sept and Oct are amazing months which i really enjoy, ah well we keep our short stumpy aching tired legs going.

Not so much a rant today but more of a complaint.
Since 2016 i no longer use suppliers on the "never never" i always use cash and carries as i know where i am with my money and don't owe anyone anything BUT my main supplier has run out of Strongbow cans and won't be getting any more. HOW? It's mid July and 3 full months of season left and they're not getting any more Strongbow in, what type of cash carry doesn't get stock to sell? 
Ridiculous!

I have a new pet. I found him in my bath and he couldn't get out, his name is Mr. Jingles.
He looked so scared so i picked him up gently and spoke softly to him and let him free in my garden.
A day later my gardener came and cut down my grass. That night i got in i looked at the patio door and there was Mr. Jingles looking to come in as his home had been hacked down. I opened the door and he run in the room and straight under the sofa. He now has a safe home.

Mt. Jingles taking a bath.


I have decided to test his agility and intelligence.
Firstly i set up his eating and drinking area with a vanilla biscuit and glass of water, i will then try out different foods to examine his eating habits.


The experiments are going well, he seems to like sweeter foods, biscuits, cake, fruit. Nuts are an option and also some salad items such as cucumber and lettuce, he doesn't like berries. I will monitor his diet as if he eats sweet items all the time before i know it he'll be crashing about under the sofa while I'm trying to watch TV.

Agility test. I placed pieces of cheese at 4 different points on my dining chair to see how far he can climb. Placed one at foot of chair on floor, next on foot rung, next on seat and the last on the very top.
Mr. Jingles isn't very agile, he ate the piece on the floor and left the rest.

Skill test. I designed a assault course. First a tube with a piece of cheese in the middle of it which leads to a piece on top of a glass then a piece inside a plastic cointreau top followed by a piece under a red cap and finally a piece inside the bottom of a cointreau bottle. He failed the last 2. Not sure if he's clever or stupid? More studies are needed.

Movements. I set up his eating area with some lemon drizzle muffin cake. I took my place on the opposite sofa and waited very still and quietly. 20 Min's had passed and no sign of him. I decided to have a cuppa and my lemon drizzle muffin cake. BUGGER! While i was watching his eating area he was behind me on the fridge eating my lemon drizzle muffin cake. Am i clever or stupid? More studies needed.

Mt. Jingles assault course.


There is one thing happening though, whenever i see him , my lights flicker in all the rooms, weird.

Another great visit from Sian last week with pool time, meals out and or usual Saturday date night. Next visit is for 3 whole weeks, my holiday then begins.
I have started a little book exchange in the bar only due to the fact Sian reads so much in the bar that when she's out here even for only 4 days she can get through 4 books so there are plenty left behind after her visits, she's a right geeky bookworm and no mistake.

The season so far has been through the roof, i mean way above this years expectations so I'd just like to say a huge thank you to all who have visited so far and making season 2019 the best yet. About 75% have all been brand new customers to the bar, most of whom from recommendations around pool or at hotels and every single one has returned at least once after their first visit. That's the good thing about working the bar alone i know every single customer who steps in and all have enjoyed their visits so a big thank you once again.

Today is a glorious day, one of joy, one of elation, one of satisfaction and one of those days where you just want to stand in front of Castle Grey Skull and shout loud "I HAVE THE POWER" Sorry, that's wrong i meant shout from the roof tops "This is my day and i love it" and to top it all, i found some more Newcastle Brown Ale for my own private drinking stash. Paid my VAT.

So I'm sure now over the next 2 months I'll have more time to get out and about before the mayhem begins again in September and take little Kevin the Minion out as well.

Interest in the bar is very good, 8 people are interested to buy it after season 2020 these are all tourists, one wants to buy it and have me run it but that's a big fat NO, if i wanted to stay here i wouldn't sell it would i and one is an ex-worker who is now in the UK. This could start a bidding war lol.

So until the next update.............

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!




Thursday, 20 June 2019

Day 45 - "Is it October yet?"

Thought of the day - Flavoured Gins.........why? Just add a flavour to the gin yourself. It's not rocket science.

Good morning to one and all, how are we this fine warm sunny day? or if your in the UK how are the storms and flooding coming along? After all it is British summertime.

Well May has been and gone and my outdoor heater didn't get put away until 5th June. Seriously it was that cold at night up until then. Even riding home at 3.30am from the bar i was still wearing a jacket and gloves, unbelievable.

Season 2019 is crazy, manic and stupidly busy. One minute I'm thinking a nice calm night the next thing "BANG" everyone piles in at once and turning custom away as no room at the inn.

Now then, lets talk about me finishing and selling up in 2020, so you all know the facts not the fiction.
I'm quite humbled by how many people don't want me to leave, they say i will be missed and where will they drink? Also i get questioned "But why?"
Lets be realistic, I'm 52 next year, the bar is getting busier every season as I'm getting older, Physically I'm as fit as ever and can still beat Hussain Bolt to the supermarket but my joints through years of playing many sports are now starting to take its toll. At one point i was playing a sport or training every day of the week and sometimes 2 games a day on weekends and all those jars and knocks catch up with you at some point. Also a specialist looked at the x-ray i had up in the bar one season and said i have a S curve on my neck from a sports injury that meant by the time i hit 60 i may have a problem walking.......what a happy customer he was, made me feel great lol.
People have said to me "your only open 7 hours a night, surely you got a few more years in you yet?"
I do have a few more years in me yes and don't call me Shirley (Police Squad reference).
The thing is its 7 hours a night when open but also 4 hours a day when closed and 170 days straight through plus i do the job of 4 people.I'm the host, waiter, bar person and glass collector. Other businesses have a person for each of those jobs and me as just one doing all for 40 customers almost every night it is very demanding but i love it.
So this is why i want to leave after 2020, I'm going to leave on my terms, I'm going to leave knowing i still enjoy doing what i do. I don't want to be that ex-pat who has become bored and miserable and fed up with my business and just doing it cause i got nothing else going. At 52 i can put my other plans in motion and still with years ahead of me.
But this isn't the only reason. I feel my life is now in the UK with Sian. I have a very happy, fun home life and don't want to be apart for weeks on end even though Sian does get out 4 maybe 5 times a season and loves it out here. We've known each other 23 years and this is our time now.
My life has always been dictated by my personal well being and being happy, if I'm not happy with something, it goes, simple as and I'm at my happiest with Sian.
I also have to take in to consideration my mum who is now 81 and think will need me in the UK after next season so I'm there within miles if needed for anything not a flight and train journey away that could take hours to travel or days to sort out.
So there you have it folks, hope that's cleared up the details.

Now then, animals.
In my back garden i have a huge bunny but he hides allot and very rarely see him apart from early hours in morning around 6.30am, he is called Mr. Hoppington the third, i will try to get you a pic but i can't be arsed to get up that early just to take a pic after only getting in to bed at 4am.
I also have a hedgehog in my front garden, that was by accident. I got home 4 days ago around 3am and at my electric drive through security gates was a hedgehog. I opened the gates and it shot through the gates in to the courtyard and around in to the garden. It was so quick, i mean speedy quick.
If all hedgehogs are that quick how come so many get squisshed?
I have named him Mr. Shuffle Bottom


Most people know of Bobby the dog. He stayed with me at the end of last season until i packed away the very last bit of the bar for winter, WELL..........Bobby has almost become a resident in the bar. he's in there more than ever and follows me in to my kitchen.

Bobby eyeing up a Mythos



Bobby after a Mythos.



Don't worry, the sofa covers and cushions have been washed, he was a little sneak and got up, little bugger.

I have been to the pool, Yaaaaaaaaaay! Sian was over last weekend and we had a morning around the pool, hopefully I'll get another pool day in before Sian comes back in 20 days, i would like a tan this year if possible lol.

So that's about it folks, its been so busy in bar it's been just work, work, work and no adventures yet but i promise on the next update Kevin the Minion will be here.

Until the next time...........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Saturday, 1 June 2019

Day 26 - "And you'll never walk alone!"

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS"

I took the night off for champions league final 2005 when i was at Tropicana, i take the night off from Oceanic in 2019 and the result is the same, WE WON!

My Actor/teacher nephew Leighton sent me this text from Jurgen Klopps news conference before the game, Klopp was asking for fans to demand that Oceanic opens as it will give Liverpool a chance of winning. This is because when i watch them they usually lose.

NOT TONIGHT!

This was me at the Strada Marina 15 Min's before kick off


This was me toasting my brilliant beloved Liverpool after they won with a Jack and ice..


I moved to a better seat in front of a 56" inch TV before it kicked off and the bar did fill up in time for kick off , all Greeks and no drunk d**kheads. Great way to watch football.

Not only did Liverpool win but I was also a winner, i had 2 pints and a jack on ice and only paid for one pint and i had a free bowl of crisps and then a free bowl of mixed nuts, BOOM! BACK OF THE NET!

People said to me "What about the money you'll lose from closing?" Its not all about money, money has never made me happy as its a material thing, some people lie, cheat and steal for money and some people love boasting about money but I'm much happier with life and tonight i am happier than ever but would have been perfect if Sian had shared this moment with me.

I have to say Spurs were the better side but had no finishing touch, they were great in the build up but poor on the finish so i would say Liverpool were lucky, but luck is needed sometimes, the game itself was quite boring if i'm being honest..

Never mind, i will enjoy this moment until the next Champions league final as we remain THE CHAMPIONS until then.

Monday, 27 May 2019

Day 21 - What is going on?

What the hell is going on? 27th May and still the weather is playing up, it's lashing it down this morning. My heating in the bar has been on every single night since i opened and only had 5 full days of sun since i got here on 1st May, never known a start like it.

Anywhoooo, hello one and all, how we all doing today? 
I think starting each update with the "Day" is going to be a pain in the ass as i have to count them on the calendar before i post the update.
Quite a bit of interest in the bar after i announced i was selling so that's good but then again every year someone has shown interest in buying bar but money talks and no one has "SHOWN ME THE MONEY" so never taken the interest seriously.

Day 11 and the bar is at capacity and emergency seats are out, everybody loves a warm bar.


Even people sat outside but as soon as seats become free inside the people move.


Due to the shocking weather I've only gone from house to town to bar and out for coffee's, that's it, not gone anywhere, so not much to tell you or show you.

So for this update i will give you my views on things going on in the world over the past days since last update:-

Eurovision : Whats the point?
The competition is meant to be to vote in a song for Europe, a song that brings Europe together, a song to inspire.
So why is it hardly any of the winners have charted all over Europe and only in their own country?
Why do the UK get automatic entry when they have finished last quite a few times over the past years?
And when has Australia been in Europe?

Jeremy Kyle taken of air for good : People will have to get jobs now instead of appearing on the show.

European Elections : ????????????????????? Haven't a clue what this is all about.

Spice Girls First gig has sound problems : No it doesn't, their just S**T

Hiker found after 17 days in forest : She said she "Chose life", amazing how in the face of adversity she was thinking of Wham.


And that's the headlines that have caught my eye over the last few days.

I will give you a warning of the next picture as it contains a obscene word but how is this the sign of a great place to go for a drink and how is it even allowed. Is this what the island really needs?


So folks its most probably my shortest ever update but what can you do when the weathers shocking.

So hopefully a longer update the next time but until then.......

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Thursday, 16 May 2019

Day 9 - Welcome to Jurassic Cavo Doro


"We've used Dino DNA to create yet another Greek wonder........Welcome to Jurassic Cavo Doro"



Trust that stupid car to drive past, it was looking good up until then, bet you thought it was real didn't you?
Basically that's the entrance to the new part of Cavo Doro.

Well we're 9 days in and all is well. No different to any other season, same good start, mainly all inclusive holiday makers and mainly first timers to the island and resort so that's always good to have in the bar with a sprinkle of regulars.

Took a picture of when the bar was half finished, why i don't know, i guess cause it looks neat and tidy without any furniture. Couple of scatter cushions would improve this picture but not really viable what with dust, spilt drinks, cats, dogs, flying ants (whats up with flying ants, why do they lose their wings almost instantly, how stupid) and limbs that won't allow people to get up once they're on the scatter cushions. NOT A GOOD IDEA AT ALL.


My first frappe of the season. Should have gone somewhere that served it in a glass for the first picture instead of a plastic, not very environmentally friendly either, poor turtles.


My first Alpha Weiss at my Saturday night hang out after i close, this also includes my date night with Sian (via text when apart) while I'm sat sipping and chilling. Something to look forward to at the end of a busy night and week. No need to cook that night either as get free peanuts with my beer, ISN'T LIFE GREAT!



It is bloody freezing at night, so much so that on my bike on way home at about 2.30am my feet and shins are numb. Never had that before and in the morning its a hoody, long sleeve top and gloves while i'm out and about. The worst weather start to a season in my 19 years here, thank god i got the heater in the bar which has been on every night.

Now then, when i left last year i left a sign on the bar saying "Just popped out for milk, Back 1st of May". I think you'd agree that's quite a obvious sign for all to read. I told Angelina in the shop opposite when i left i had my flight booked for 1st May, i had booked it before I'd even left the island. I had e-mailed my bar landlord and told him i will be back 1st May. I had e-mailed Dennis in the shop next door and told him I'd be back 1st of May. I'd seen all the family in Puzzle next door and told them I'd be back the 1st May. My best friends Tasos and Demi knew i was coming back 1st May and i even posted my flight confirmation on this blog showing i was back 1st May.
So why is it when i turned up others in resort thought i wasn't coming back? 12 people in all in the resort knew i was coming back, there was a nice big printed sign on the empty bar saying when i was coming back, i posted it on this blog but people still insist on making their own stories up, WHY? 

I'm always asked questions on how i ended up on Zakynthos? Why here? How long have i been here?
Its only then i think about my business and my time here and i worked out that out of all the food and beverage places on the old road in Kalamaki I'm the longest standing business with 13 years. Other buildings have been there just as long but the businesses have changed, changed owners or changed names but i am the longest serving business, that's crazy.
Already this week i have been asked many times "When am i thinking of stopping with Oceanic?" , "Am i back next year?" As i say to everyone i always live one day at a time as you never know what may happen, why look so far ahead? I wake up and live for that day. I could become ill, the island could have a major earthquake and destroy the building of the bar, a family member may need my support in UK and need me to go back, who knows whats around the corner BUT I've been thinking about it due to people asking and have made a future decision due to my change in my personal life in the UK and 2020 will definitely be my last season and Oceanic will be up for sale. I will tell you how much just in case anyone interested and it's £10,000 exact, no offers, all in, which is dirt cheap considering how much i have actually put in to the business over the 14 years so its a bargain without a doubt and you'll have a ready made website, reviews and major internet profile presence. In fact i spent that amount out to set up Oceanic in my first season 2007. Also whoever takes it on you could also expand as the bar has a food licence. 
So there you go, that will now definitely stop all the gossip mongers as you heard it here first and i have told no one on the island so don't believe anything else you hear LOL.
Why am i telling you all so far in advance, well, it will take whoever that long to get their papers sorted for residence and tax, we all know how slow it is over here lol
Anyone who may be interested you can contact me through my contact page on the website:-


I feel now with the way I'm very happy in the UK that is where my life should be but not just yet.

I also said if a food franchise like McDonalds etc or a fish & chip shop opened in Kalamaki i would leave but that's not happened yet.

People may find this a bit of a shock but you wouldn't expect me to be here when I'm 60 would you? I'm realistic and that just wouldn't happen. 
I can holiday here instead and watch someone else run around after me lol.

So until this weather changes so i can take Kevin the Minion out........

Serve All. Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!


Thursday, 9 May 2019

Day 1 - I'm open!

Well what a miserable start to season 2019.

Firstly i was poorly sick, thanks for all the well wishes and get well soon, then the weather is the worst I've known for May in 19 years, overcast and chilly most days and freezing at night, good job i got the weather tents and heating.
The set up of the bar was quite painless this year, 3 days and all done, well almost, just got to paint the white part of roof and put new letters up then its finished.
The customers love the new look of the bar and i think its the most classy so far, its the bulbs that do it.

Everyone is saying that the resort is quieter this year so far (only 7 days in, JES!) but my first night was the same as all the others but there are more all inclusive rooms this year with more hotels giving up rooms to all inclusive instead of H B or B & B.
On the old road we now have Jurassic Park, when its a nice sunny day i will take a quick video of the entrance, it's got old Rexy behind the wooden doors or King Kong. Haven't ventured inside yet but as you know there are plenty of goats around if inside there is a petting pen for the dinosaur.

Not had a take away yet as still not 100% but god i can't wait to stuff my face with all the badness i can find and then flop on the sofa and collapsed in to a meat and tzatziki coma.

Lots of Dutch in the resort this year, not sure we'll be seeing any hash cake shops opening any time soon but there could be a opening for a orange clothing shop as every Dutch person i have met has had a piece of orange clothing.

Added the original Porn Star Martini to my menu this year, GOOD GRIEF, what an absolute pain in the arse. Douglas Ankrah who invited the drink must have had to much time on his hands, add this, shake that, float this, serve that. As you know i will only make a cocktail unless its to the original method and recipe, what a phaff and guess what i sold the most of so far.........yeah you guessed it.....bloody porn star martini. I can see that being the thorn in my side, the fly in my ointment, the shell in my egg mayo sandwich or the verruca plaster in a swimming pool, just a annoyance all round.

Will be stocking the Levante beers again this season from June but also i have Alpha Weiss which is a lovely beer, my favourite i think after drinking it all last season on my Saturday nights out.

No price changes you'll be glad to hear so that should keep you all happy and a few new cocktails to try, think i came up with another 5, can't remember now.

Can't wait till it gets warmer as this season I'm given myself more time during the day, not knocking myself  out rushing around the place getting stuff and doing favours, its all about me time, oh and me and Sian time while she's out here.

So Liverpool are in the champions league final and this year i will be closed on 1st June, didn't close last year for their final but this year i will be but just the one night, so if anyone wants to join me in Zakynthos town to watch it your more than welcome,

So there you go, a little update on the first couple of days but I'm hoping it will get warmer so i can get out and about and start Kevin the Minions adventures.

This year no food aid parcels are needed unless its black pudding, white pudding or muffins, i can now get crumpets and frosted shreddies on the island but if any food parcels do arrive i will be more than happy to accept it, of course food parcels will be reimbursed, never expect anything for nothing, cash or drinks will be exchanged LOL.

So until the next warmer update........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Wednesday, 1 May 2019

I'm here! Rain and dark cloud, BUGGER!

An elderly couple once asked me "Do you like Pina Colada?",  i replied "No it reminds me of getting caught in the rain".

Little bit of bar humour there to kick of this first instalment of Season 2019.

Well i waved Sian tata for now (not long though), picked up my pack lunch and off i went to the airport.
The day before i was very ill, so ill i thought i wouldn't be able to fly, cold shivering, body boiling and aching from head to toe, would have been quite easy to miss flight BUT NO, i sucked it up and got on the coach feeling like i had been run over. Also i never take any tablets when i'm ill but i had to try something with this as never felt this way before so i reluctantly took 2 paracetamol.

Got to airport and its self check in. JESUS CHRIST! There were about 20 self check ins, guess how many assistant staff.........14, 14 bloody staff for a self check in.....they may as well be behind the counter checking in if they are being paid to be there, how ridiculous.
I leave the check in area and up to the security check, oh joy in front of me is a Welsh hen party of about 10, youngest being in 40's all with same t-shirts on saying such hilarious things as "Brides Bitch", "Python Handler", "Flora Spreadable"  and the most brilliant t-shirt ever, must have taken hours, put Dylan Thomas to shame " Ball Juggler". BRAVO, BRAVO, Noble Literature prize winner in the making there. So not only did i have a gaggle of women in front of me none of them must have flown before. It took forever as they had bottles and toiletries that were to big and ones they could take they hadn't put in to that little clear bag, freaking idiots.
In to the departures lounge and set up a little camp for myself so i could be away from the hordes and just spy.
Question, 2 weeks off for Easter for the children yes? So why was there so many children over 7 going on holiday? i saw so many.
On to plane a front seat already booked with speedy boarding, just how i like it. Tried to sleep most of the way but felt so rough it was hard to sleep comfortable.
I step off the plane and how wonderful to see big black clouds and rain.
First through and bag comes really quick.
Jump in to taxi but forget to buy water and baguette. YOU IDIOT PINNELL!
Get to our house and first thing i do is put battery on charge for bike, sweep through, unpack rucksack, make some gruel (Oats, god thank you for oats) as nothing else in house and collapse under quilt shivering and boiling writing this.
Lets hope tomorrow is a better day, well can't be any worse than Tues and Wed, i can't even go out to watch Liverpool and get supplies.

So just a quick little update as going to try to shift whatever it is i got.

Tomorrow we begin.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!





Wednesday, 24 April 2019

It's a wonderful wonderful life!

Good morning trees, good morning birds, good morning sunshine, good morning grumpy dustbin man who woke me at 6am, isn't life wonderful.

Well my sky taxi is almost ready to fly to the rock. Its been 19 years this year of me being on Zakynthos running a business and 13 years with my own business Oceanic which i built up and worked alone since Oct 2006 as you all know.

Me and walking has been a regular thing for years, i don't even need a destination, i just walk. As long as i have my music with me i just roam. I think the longest non-stop walk i have been on was about 14 miles maybe a little more.

After walking one of my usual marathons along the beach singing loudly while dogs howl at my angelic tones i decided to stop off for a beer at a bar that is 28 storeys up at the top of a apartment block in Swansea which is called "Grape and Olive". When the suns out and its a clear sky the view is amazing.

My version of a selfie that i actually started taking like this in 1986, selfies aren't a new thing folks!


Part of Swansea's 4 mile beach.


Anyone for a dip. If you jump from this height feet first you'll be fine........honest!


Talking of heights, i have been doing my Bear Grylls thing again to get a little fitter ready for the season and decided hike up Craig Llanishen which is 271 metres high. That may not seem much but that's the height directly up from sea level to the top, the walk itself is a 21.9% gradient and 3km from bottom to top.
It wasn't that bad, i thought i was going to be panting and heart thumping out of my chest but it seems I'm allot fitter than i thought. I had a slight sweat on but that was it and that was a spur of the moment walk in jeans and flat trainers so i wasn't even dressed appropriately for such a adventure.
Sian has named me "The Rambling Rev" as before that climb i had already walked 8km in the sun but it was all worth it, the whole 14km (8.5 miles), 1/ For the view and 2/ For the pub at the bottom of the mountain when i came down.

The view out over Cardiff after i had combated the elements, thorn bushes and evil sheep.



So we are days away from returning and to be honest I'm pretty laid back about it, I'd be quite happy to stay in the UK now as loving life here.
Not going to stress over set up, got some nice new cocktails for you to try, added some old creations of mine which i had taken off the menu and the same as last season "if your not in by midnight then you've missed out" and every Saturday last order for drinks is midnight so i can have a little me time out in Zakynthos Town. That worked quite well over the past 2 years so going to stick with it.
Added a load of new but old songs which I've been getting together over the winter and i may move the bar to outside again, not sure yet though.

Trying to find paper straws but they are so expensive, i don't want to use plastic straws if possible, Bought new cocktail shakers for the shaker cocktails on table, buying some new glasses and rearranging the lighting and decor.
To be honest with you this winter the bar has been the furthest from my mind than ever before and have only started thinking it through this week which has been great.

I promise this year Kevin the Minion will go on some adventures and re-visit the mad axe man house to do battle or to find more victims, i hope neither as its me that has to take him there.

Now, i never mention Brexit BUT i don't really care about it and its been delayed so a few more months to be wasted even though they have had 3 years, the only good thing about the delay is Brits may now book to go abroad again which leads up until the end of season 2019.
No football this summer, thank god and the Rugby World cup starts Sept 20th just as the season is slowing down with the Semi Finals being the day after i close and the Final on Nov 2nd after I've got home, great schedule. Shame about the opening game Japan v Russia, not a great spectacle if I'm being honest.

Well, i got few things left to do here, people to see, arrangements to make, days out to have before i head back so i am going to enjoy every day i have left here in the UK with Sian, family and friends.

LETS GET THIS SEASON STARTED!

Sunshine here i come. Talking of sunshine........Extinction Rebellion........climate protesters.

I'm all for saving the planet, totally 100% that's why i want paper straws but......these protesters grind my gears.

1/ I bet 90% use petrol driven cars
2/ I bet 70% use public transport at some point
3/ I bet 100% use electric to watch themselves on TV
4/ All the rubbish they left behind of cups, wrappers and straws isn't environmentally friendly
5/ All had mobile phones which aren't environmentally friendly and what did they power them off.....goat crap and straw?

I rest my case.

So until i arrive back on the rock...............

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar out!

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

The dream is over - It's now reality, DEVILS STAND PROUD!


We all dreamt one dream.......
United it became reality...........




This is hockey..............We are Cardiff Devils

Video created by Paul Sullivan

Monday, 1 April 2019

I'm disgusted....some people are so vile!

I can't believe there are such low, vile terrible people about, absolutely disgusting and need to be called out.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?.........BEERS THAT TASTE LIKE GRAPEFRUIT!

Who are these sick individuals? Dear god man why would you? They need to be shot or paraded around the streets being whipped with birches until they apologies for being such lunatics. May as well serve me cyanide in a glass. YOU MONSTERS!

One of these beers is called "Cali American Pale Ale", AH, no wonder, bloody Americans, the land of the weird or is this their idea of a fruit in their diet to help with obesity as its got grapefruit in it?

This isn't the only one though, OH NO, there are more horrible yukky crap tasting grapefruit beers but due to my disgust after tasting it i spat it out in the bar persons face and fled the watering hole screaming "Be gone with you Beelzebub" before i could catch the name of the beer on the pump.

Anywhoooooo, a better music topic now than my last update.

Sian and i have been watching "The Umbrella Academy" on Netflix and i have to say what a weird and wonderful watch it is. Not only that but it has a amazing soundtrack.
So here for your listening and viewing pleasure are our favourites from the series.

Woodkid - "Run boy Run"


Morcheeba - "Blood like lemonade"


Noel Gallagher - "In the heat of the moment"


The Doors - "Soul Kitchen"


There's just a few to get on with but i would advise anyone if you got Netflix give The Umbrella Academy a go. It's a great watch. Also Tin Star on Sky, we're about to have a weekend of watching season 2, YAAAAHOOOOO!

Note: I am back on the ice again, got my new ice hockey boots and going early in morning before any brats, I'm mean wonderful children are on the ice taking up my space with penguin stabiliser's.
Look out Wayne Gretzky, Kevlar is back!

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Thursday, 28 March 2019

T Minus Countdown till the rock and other blabbering crap.

Well its a certain amount of days till my return to the rock.........can't be bothered to work it out but its less than 365 and more than 1.

Now, i say its rant time but its not really its more of things that annoy me. I don't get angry about things anymore as I've mellowed allot more than i was over the past 2 years so here i go anyway........

"It's rant time, everybody loves a rant time, all of us need a rant tiiiiiiiiiiime, IT'S RANT TIME!!!!"

1/ Mobile phone couples

So your a couple, you go out for a coffee, a drink, a meal, you sit down and before they've even ordered..... the phones come out from both and not a word is uttered between them for the whole day/night out.
Myself and Sian are amazed and find it so funny. We see it everywhere we go and almost every couple are doing it, perhaps we're the odd ones because we don't.
When we go out our phones are nowhere to be seen, in fact our phones are only ever looked at when we can be bothered, even in the house or we use them to find directions when we go out and about.
We love going out, being in each others company and chatting and having a laugh.
WHATS THE POINT IN GOING OUT JUST TO IGNORE EACH OTHER?
I use my phone that little that i get 200 MB of data a month and at the end of last month i still had 199 MB left. Question, where did that 1 MB go?


2/ Passwords

 So these days you need to join and add details and create a password just to find out the weather so i don't join anything that asks for all that rubbish but for buying and travel you need to add passwords.
You think of a password and type it in. You are asked to confirm it so you type it in again. Then in big red letters it tells you its not usable as you need a capital letter, a number, a symbol and at least 8 characters long.
AAAAAGGGHHHHHH! TELL ME AT BEGINNING NOT AFTER I'VE PUT IT ALL IN, IDIOTS!

3/ Estate agents

I've been house hunting for four months since i got back.
Had a cash buyer for my house in Swansea (Brilliant) as my mum wants to be back in Cardiff closer to family and me.
Now then........Estate agents are useless, honestly, one estate agent knew nothing about the area or even the house we viewed with her.
You give specifics and price range and then you get mail shots for houses worth £400,000 with 6 bedrooms and a drive with double garage.
2-3 BEDROOMS I SAID AND I DON'T DRIVE.
Pictures. They look great, rooms are light, rooms are huge and no problems. You get there and rooms are as dark as caves, they are the size of actual doll house rooms and mold is everywhere.
TAKE BLOODY NATURAL PICTURES AND SAVE US ALL THE TIME WE TAKE TO VIEW IT.
You enquire about a house for sale, no sign of offer pending, no sign of sold but when you call they tell you its one or the other but its still online.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WANT TO SEE HOUSES THAT ARE AVAILABLE NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT SELLING CAUSE YOU'VE SOLD EVERY HOUSE ON YOUR WEBSITE, MORONS!
Unfortunately didn't find anywhere so now on hold until i come back from Zakynthos.
Don't like estate agents at all. No wonder i bought privately last time.

4/ Reality TV and their Z listers

I do not watch any reality TV at all cause its not real life, its garbage. I saw a advert for "Made in Chelsea" there were a couple arguing and then a drink was thrown in the boyfriends face over what i don't care but lets see why it's not real shall we.
First there is a camera angle of both facing each other, then one just of female, then one just of male, that's 3 camera angles. This shows its obviously all staged and NOT reality.
Are you trying to tell me that just as they are arguing in real time that a producer quickly gets 3 cameras together, positions them perfectly on stands and catches it all?
To get those shots the dull, idiot Z listers would have to be stood on marks with perfect lighting and a director calling camera angles and the YUFF of today think its real and aspire to be like these brainless reality stars that are churned out week after week.
SHOW THE REAL LIFE OF EVERYDAY PEOPLE WORKING HARD TO SURVIVE NOT Z LISTERS HAVING MONEY THROWN AT THEM TO ACT BADLY!

5/ Rubbish sports

I watch allot of sport Rugby, Ice Hockey, Football, Boxing, and many others but some sports are just......... RUBBISH!
Where do i start.

OK Golf. You place a little white ball on a stick then hit it with another stick and walk after it and keep doing this until it goes in a hole. I think its more of a walk with a activity involved. It does take skill though.
I see it the same as me walking on one of my marathon walks, kicking a conker that has fallen off a tree until i get bored then passing it down into a drain, same thing but you can't class that as a sport.

Formula 1. Its someone driving fast, wearing out tyres and having Kwik Fit fitters on hand. For the spectators which pay through the nose to sit on a grass bank and see a flash of colour go past, HOW EXCITING! Every 1 MIN 25 SEC you get say YAY! for 1 second as they flash past you. It does take skill though.
I see it the same as a few mobility scooters going around a supermarket up and down the aisles taking those sharp bends at the deli counter but i see the scooters for longer and don't have to pay.
The only good thing about F1 is the start and that's just because there may be a collision after that its DULL, DULL, DULL!

Indoor bowls. This was on BBC2 not so long ago. If snails had a spectator sport this would be it.
Also if a Blue Rinse company had a advertising board there they'd make millions just from the spectators either side of the bowling green.
Can't call it a sport though.
By my old house there was a bowling green and after school i used to play as we got an hour each day for free and even i could hit the jack and get close to it so you don't even need skill if i can do it.

Test Cricket. Firstly any sport that takes 5 days to play out is a past time, not a sport. Secondly it can only be played in warm sunny climates which basically means the teams get a free holiday every time they play. The game itself starts with indecent behaviour with a person rubbing their groin with a red ball, then running 20 metres, throwing the ball as hard as they can with some spin only for another person to put a plank of wood up to stop it dead. BRILLIANT! STUNNING! WOW!
Do it again, do it again! So they do, repeat 10 times out of 12. Its the only sport i know that scores in the hundreds but can still end up a draw.

SPORT HAS TO BE EXCITING, THESE ARE NOT SPORTS!

Many people I'm sure hate the sports i like which is fine by me, we're all allowed an opinion but my sports aren't boring.

Feel much better now after that, I'm sure there was one more rant but can't remember what.....never mind, I'll remember for next time.

FOOD TIME!

I love melted cheese. Not so fussed on cheese without it being heated but warm melted cheese is so good. This led me to a eureka moment, how about a baked cheese and smokey bacon sandwich.
I began buy buying a bloomer bread and cutting it length ways so you only get 4 slices out of it.
Then you grill off 4 rashers of smokey bacon.
Place the 4 slices of bacon on one of the slices of bread and then cover with a mound of grated mozzarella.
Place on top of that another slice of the bloomer bread. cover the whole sandwich with a mound of grated mature cheese, some salt and pepper.
Wrap in foil tightly and place on a baking tray in a oven at Gas mark 6 / 160 fan assisted for 20 Min's.
After 20 Min's unwrap the sandwich and finish off under grill until golden brown.
Add sauce if preferred then stuff your face while it all drips down your chin and burns the roof of your mouth.

MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


WARNING: This is a heart attack on a plate.

MUSIC!

What has happened to the good old but naff party songs these days?
All the songs are so serious and dramatic and "woh is me" sounding. Aren't the modern generation of singers happy? They all sound so depressed when singing and the lyrics are just the same words repeated over and over.

Example, Rhianna her song "Work" here are the lyrics:-

Work, work, work, work, work, work
You see me I be work, work, work, work, work, work
You see me do me dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt
There's something 'bout that work, work, work, work, work, work
When you a gon' learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn
Me na care if me tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired  


GENIUS!

So for those singers who have forgotten how to have fun here are some awful, terrible party songs

This kept Ultravox - Vienna off the No.1 spot, TRAGIC!.



This was also a No.1.........HOW?



This is terrible, just terrible and another No.1.



See how simple we were, that simple we made this No.1



This didn't make it to No.1 only No.2, god help us all.



I am now close to shooting myself after all these awful but hugely popular songs and it doesn't get any better, another No.2 and i mean that in both senses.



And the worst of the worst which was No,1 in 10 countries, can you believe it. This is one rabbit that should have been put down.



And kids, all these songs were played relentlessly at nightclubs, parties, weddings etc 
On second thoughts.........stick to the boring depressing songs your writing now.

The rock is getting ever closer and there is no major changes this year to the bar as i did allot last season, was going to get some new sofas but my saying is "If the sofas ain't broke don't change 'em"
I have got a few ideas but these are just subtle changes.
The drinks menu has a few new cocktails I've created over the winter and i have added the ORIGINAL Porn Star Martini made exactly how the creator Douglas Ankrah makes it, so this is the correct and only way to make it.
My body is telling me i don't have to many seasons left in me because as I'm getting older the bar is getting busier but i would never employ a member of staff as its not how i want the bar to be also I'm a real tight ass so paying a wage would make me cry lol.
Not only that but my life in the UK is the best its been now with my personal life and don't want to spend to many more seasons away, i feel more settled now and more chilled here.
In saying all that i am back for my 13th season with Oceanic and my 19th season in all just in case the rumours are flying as usual that I'm not returning like they were in 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2018.
Amazing isn't it, when will these gossips learn lol.

And finally..........



I LOVE RUGBY, I LOVE OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM, I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
BOYS, YOU MADE US PROUD.

So until my final update from the UK before i leave..........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!