Sunday, 24 August 2014

OCEANIC, SEASON 8, EPISODE 10 "The Island of the sick and the twisted!"


Hello my wonderful fabulous blog followers, its update time again. I know its been 2 weeks but to be honest I've done bugger all as its to hot and the roads are to crazy so its safer to stay in until its time to go to bar. Be so glad when its Sept and all the idiots on the roads have buggered off back to Italy and mainland Greece.

Its bar talk first up. I'm very honest with what i write about the bar, if its good its good, if its bad its bad. Yuk, Yuk,Yuk, do i not like August. Its been the most unpredictable month I've ever had in my 8 years with Oceanic. Up and down, all over the place. I can be ram packed for 2 hours then within 15 minutes empty. So weird. But I'm making target every night so not complaining. It could be worse, i could have staff to pay, entertainment to fork out for, high overheads and have no customers. At least with Oceanic i got no staff, low overheads and not paying out for anything not even wifi, so my target can be very low which makes life so much easier. Yes, i have a target, very professional i know LOL.

9.45pm Friday 22/08, very very busy.

 10.20pm Friday 22/08, everyone gone but more did come in later after meals.

10.15pm Saturday 23/08, even busier.

See told you, August is all over the place.
  Now i love my cereal. Frosted Shreddies obviously the king of cereal but i also like my All Bran, keeps me regular, PARP! LOL
So when i saw this "Lion" cereal i thought i got to try this. Very, very disappointed.
There was not one trace of lion in the box, whats that all about?
What?......It doesn't mean its made with Lion? Well why the name then?
Oh, i see, its named after Lion Bar. Well, even if that is the case it was the least tasting thing like a lion bar I've ever had. If it had real pieces of lion in it it would have tasted more like a lion bar, awful, don't bother with it, tastes like wood chippings.

I'm suing for false advertising.

MMMMmmmmmmmmmmm! Pizza, i love pizza and doesn't this pizza look great that i bought from Spar. Pack of 3 for 3.99€, bargain or is it?

What the...........? Now i may have bad eye sight but good god man, what the blazes is that? I've picked out more cheese from under my toenails when i was a child (My hygiene is second to none now). Is that it? I'm sure on the box it said pizza not bruschetta. The worst thing is i got 2 of the bloody things left to eat.

The un-cooked pizza as frozen.

Maybe it will look better when cooked.


There are some sick and twisted people on this island. Every night i have to count my connect 4's. Either I'll find one on the floor so have to count all or someone would have exchanged counters from one to the other. STOP IT! there is enough in every game to complete it at the start of the night when i open, you DO NOT need to borrow from one to use in another. But there is even more evil now on this island. They have added a counter that's not even mine to mess with my poor little welsh brain. What twisted individual is trying to drive me insane? Its just not fair. AAAaaaaggggggghhhhhhh!

The 2 on the left are mine, the one on the right is an impostor, GET OUT I SAY, GET OUT!

Its looking like t-shirt sales by the end of this season will be over 1000 within 3 seasons which i think is amazing. So we are going to extend the range from next season and here are a few new designs, these are not the finished article as we need the proper band logos for them but you can see where we are going with the designs.

 Its the Manhattan Transfer market again "Rat-e-tat-e-tat" How much worse can the market become. Years ago it was great, good quality clothes, many varieties of trainers, excellent household products and now.......1€ stalls, trainers that you would have to be blind to buy and pants and sock stalls as far as the eye can see. I went with 200€ to have a blow out, i spent 15€ and guess what i bought.......yep you guessed it.....pants and socks.

Nike Air Max, how long ago did these go out of fashion? You couldn't sprint in them just in case you had a blow out while your going at top speed and what in gods name is going on with the colours? Pass me my shades I'm going blind LOL

It makes me so angry when i see tourists on scooters and quads carrying a whole family on one vehicle. I've seen children as young as 2 years old clingy to petrol tanks of quads. How stupid are these parents? But they see the locals doing it so they do the same. This bike was in front of me as i left the market. Two young children, no helmets and almost slipping off the scooter. Makes me cringe.

Its been over a week since Kevin went off to do battle with the mad axeman. I have to go in and rescue him or at least retrieve the body.
I crept in like a ninja not knowing what i would find. The door was closed. not a good sign.
I must go to the wood pile where i found the trainer.
The trainer, its gone!
Whats that in amongst the wood?

KEVIINNNNNNNNNNN! NOOoooooooooooo! WHY? Why him? It should have been me. GOD DAMN YOU MAD AXEMAN! I will revenge my buddy.

Wait? I remember reading somewhere that a heavy blow to the head will bring a minion back to life.
Where's my hammer?
Kevin, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do but its for your own good.

Yay! Kevin's alive. A Little bit battered but at least he lives to fight another day. I will wait until he's fully fit, train him better then send him back in.
Oh OK, i will give him a little holiday first and take him out on another road trip also my best human buddy Tassos wants to meet him so a visit to Drunk Corner is on the cards for him. I will take him to watch Liverpool as a treat or maybe a rugby match, the seasons almost here.

You rest little buddy, save that energy and get well soon.

 Well that's update over with for another 2 weeks. Any get well messages for Kevin can be posted on the comments on this blog or on Facebook page, he will be made up.

Till then folks,

Serve all, Love all, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Monday, 11 August 2014

OCEANIC, SEASON 8, EPISODE 9 "When evil rears up its ugly head"

Well howdy doody yaa'lll! How we all diddling today? Its August, which means the Italian and Greek invasion, uuugggghhhhhhh! Shoot me now. The roads are manic now and already had three near misses of being hit off my bike by two Italian plated vehicles who have gone through stop signs and a mainland Greek plated car that went through a red light. This is why i try not to leave the house if possible during August, absolute idiots.

Lets start as always with the bar update. Well July followed in the same trend as May and June with becoming my best July since i opened. August agggghghhhhhh! I so hate August as its always my quietest month but in saying that i was still full at some point every night as the picture shows which was taken on the 6th of Aug but from the 7th it has gone to being like mid Oct, empty then all of a sudden a mad rush of people then empty again, God knows whats going on, very strange August indeed. Still, lets take a positive from it, I'm still hitting my target which is great, in fact not missed a target since my first week open in 2007 which I'm very proud of but again its down to you my wonderful customers for helping me to hit those targets so i thank each and every one of you so so much who have visited Oceanic.

2 weeks ago for the first time ever in the history of Oceanic bar i went a whole night without serving a lager, bitter, Guinness or any bottled product . It was just Cocktails or Spirit and mixers, i was amazed and that was on a full night, never known it ever before.

I have had the guys from Virtual Zakynthos come in to re-new my page on their website and they took a 360deg pic of the bar and as a favour they took a panoramic pic of inside the bar. For those of you who haven't seen the bars web page on the site here's the link for you to click on. When on street view click on Oceanic and you can go inside. Then get yourself an alcoholic drink, keep it on your screen and imagine your sat in the bar while outside your house its chucking it down LOL.

As you know from my previous update myself and little Kevin went to the Grand Mabely 5* hotel and inside they had this wooden carved Cruiser which i thought was great, in fact it looks that good i bet it even goes faster than my cruisers, ha.

Also from the same hotel as i rode in there was a grand set of gates, huge gardens, wonderful marble frontage with many flags of all nationalities flying and parked close to the front entrance this heap of junk. Yeah great first impression as you enter a 5* exclusive hotel. At least get the owner to put a cover over it to make it look like there is an expensive car under it.

This poster is all over the island but when did Pavarotti and Englebert Humperdink get together for jiggy jiggy and create a kid? Surely this is a medical miracle, why weren't we told of this.

Its Lidl time. Went for a nose around Lidl the other week. All crap, so walked out empty handed but it was British week, with things such as Cod and Chips, Jam, Yoghurt's, Steak Pies and Schnitzels. Wo Wo Wo, when was Schnitzel a British food? I remember someone a few months ago asking on a website for Zakynthos about where they could eat British food, 2 people had replied with Macdonalds and Taj Mahal restaurant. Forgive me if I'm wrong but Macdonalds is American and Taj Mahal restaurant is Indian. Is this because now Britain has lost its empire were claiming other countries foods as our own? You better lay off the welsh Cockles and Lavabread, thats just for us Welsh, You listening Britain LOL.

This is the advert for British week in Lidl, Big Ben, London Bus, A Guard and yes your seeing it, RAIN! That's what other countries see as British, we're more known for rain than anything else.

Wow, what a bargain, 1€ for six frankfurter sausages. The only problem is these sausages had the least amount of sausage content I've ever had from a sausage. Hmmm, haven't seen my neighbours cat for a few weeks now LOL.

We had Marathons becoming Snickers, we had Jif becoming Cif, we had Michael Jackson becoming Latoya Jackson and now Surf washing pouches in the UK is called Omo over here. Now I'm all for changing names for the better but OMO, Really?

My friends Leigh and Rachel on leaving after their last visit left me with some lemons for my bar. But BLOODY HELL, these lemons were on steroids. Absolutely huge. So huge that one was almost the size of my head.

They say somewhere in the world everyone has a twin, I've found mine. Can you spot which ones me?

Would you like some Vodka with your lemon.

My lovely lovely customers have been keeping me stocked up with my lovely crumpets, muffins, black and white pudding. So much so it looks like the drug seizure picture you see on programmes like "Nothing to Declare". I am out of Frosted Shreddies though, just a hint LOL. Kevin, move away from the food.

Due to Kevin not listening to me and munching through one of my white puddings its off to the mad axe mans shack with you. He did refuse at first but when i told him its either check out the shack or wash my socks, he chose the shack. Wise move little Kev. I armed HIM with a new serrated knife and waved him goodbye. I gave him a phone to take with him to send back pics along the way.

This was the first selfie Kevin sent me as he arrived at the shack. As you can see the door is now open to the left of the building which was previously closed. Kevin buddy, take care, remember all kyokushinkai martial arts training i gave you.

Kevin the brave warrior enters the void. He's either the most heroic minion i know or he's a complete idiot, i think the latter. OH NO, KEVIN, YOU FORGOT YOUR KNIFE, KEVINNNNNNNN!

That's the last I've seen of him 3 days ago. Has evil reared up its ugly head again? If he doesn't make it back by the 7th day i fear the worst and will have to go in myself to either save him or recover his body. I wait with hope, well would you want to go in there? So i hope he turns up, if not, BUGGER!

Well the past couple of weeks i've been having lovely relaxing afternoons, just laying around, watching a bit of tv but generally just enjoying some quality time. Its at times like this that i need a boost to perk me up as all work can make you pretty exhausted, so ive been enjoying my afternoons lately. Be glad when Sept comes around and the roads are quieter, temp has dropped and can get out around the island on bike again.

Well my blog followers its time to sign off for now, everybody please pray for little Kevin, cause if you don't i have to go in and save the little blighter. So you better all be praying, I SAID PRAY DAMN YOU, LOL.

Until next week,

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!