Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Make TEA a class "A" drug.

Over the years i have found more and more people becoming addicited to a little known drug called "TEA". There have been reports of people even taking the risk of smuggling their own pouches of the drug on to the island in things which are called "TEA BAGS", like all well known drugs it has its variation of names, Earl Grey (a very potent mixture) Camomile (a devious blend) Oolong (a lethal leaf) Tetley (makes you hallucinate and see tiny men in cloth caps} and the most sinister of all PG Tips (this makes monkeys talk).

I've heard a lady in her late 70's explaining to me that she can't start her day without her fix of "TEA" and that the tea in greece doesn't taste the same as at home, obviousley this lady has a dealer she uses back in the uk. I was shocked when one of my customers told me they have at least 20 cups of tea a day which is a very lethal dose for most people but he had been hooked on the drug for 40 years and even said it tastes better when he uses his own mug. One addict even went as far as to use the leaf direct from something called "a pot" without the aid of a tea bag and warms up the cup first before he pours it out. What next i ask myself will they start to inject or snort the dry leaves as "making a brew" takes to long.

These are very worrying times for the younger generation when they see their parents and grand parents all sitting round a table sipping at this drug and after the first hit hearing those words "Ahh, thats much better" as they fall in to a state of relaxation.

To try and attract people of a younger age they now sell this hard core drug in amusing shaped bags originally in a square bag which due to its shape gave many people in their sleepy morning state problems when trying to fit it in to their round mug, the dealers decided to make a "CIRCULAR" bag (the bloody scoundrels) this meant it would fit very easily and would lead to more fixes being had during the day, then the master plan formed "THE PYRAMID BAG" (bastards, excuse the language) this would let the drug release its toxic flavour more easily and save seconds off the brewing time when needing a quick fix before the police ram raid your door.

This drug is already leading to bigger and more hardcore versions of the drink, some with slices of lemon, milk and even sugar. As with all drugs there is a thing called "The Munchies" but the social drug now has a partner in crime "The Biscuit" which combats the munchies. Where will it end? How many lives must this drug take over before steps are taken to make it a class A drug? How many cows have to be drained before we say we've had enough? How many people have to suffer back injuries from picking the leaf? I say strike now, lets all join together and help these poor addicts, forget Red Nose Day, forget Children in Need, lets support "Tea relief" The slogan for this campaign is "pick life not a leaf", please help where you can, thank you.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Dear blog, its been 3 weeks since my last entry, forgive me. HAHA!

Well its about time i pulled my finger out and gave you lovely people an update in whats going on with Zakynthos and Kalamki and me of course.

So lets start with Zakynthos, its sunny, very hot, full of italian and greek tourists, roads have doubled in traffic and sales of coffee have gone up so much it may put Starbucks out of business LOL.

Kalamaki is very quiet of british tourists the larger pools are half empty with sunbeds, bars (from what i'm told) have very little people in them but the restaurants are busy, 3 more businesses during the season have closed and anyone even thinking of opening a new business next season must be a mad as a the mad hatter at a mad maniacs mad society meeting, its financial suicide.

As for me its been amazing, have to admit been quiet last week but still hitting target and had 3 nights out of 7 last week capacity compared to every night the weeks before but lets just say if i was to close tomorrow my season would be paid up full and still got 2 and a half months to go.

I forgot to tell you i have a new partner and her name is Helen, she's welsh (don't hold it against her) and she speaks welsh so i have to carry a packa-mac with me wherever we go just in case we meet some other welshys and they start talking in welsh and i get covered in flem with all the hacking and fuffing they do. She came out a couple of weeks ago for her birthday, got her a nice cake, bottles of champagne, did i get any, NO, not a crumb or a drop but all my customers did, its ok didn't want any anyway LOL.

Well i'm on the hunt for a new cruiser motorbike out here as its getting more difficult having a bike with english plates, been everywhere looking for one and its bloody hard work, i go in to a shop and say "I want to buy a second hand bike" no response, " i want to buy an used bike" no response, "i want to buy an old bike" the shop owner replies "your in the wrong place, this is a fruit and veg shop" LOL, just kidding but i did get a reply to my questions i just mentioned and the reply was " sorry we don't buy used bikes" they thought i wanted to sell mine. so as you can see its a bit frustrating, although i am going to see one tomorrow but not holding my breath if you could see the state of the used bikes parked outside these shops they look old enough that Hercules could have owned it.

Some good news in the UK on the bike front is i've bought one for when i'm back in the winter, got an absolute bargain and its fully working and in mint condition.

As you can see i've gone for something that will blend in to the traffic and won't stand out LOL Ghost rider with Nicholas Cage comes to mind, can't wait to ride it, go on guess how much i bet you can't.