Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Ireland here i come!

I'm geting excited now about my first trip to Ireland so i've been getting ready for the trip as i don't want to forget anything so i've made a check list:-

Leprecon catching net - check

Green suit - check

Long smoking pipe made from bone - check

Shinny black dancing shoes for "Riverdance" - check

XXXXXL Oceanic t-shirt for the giant that owns that causeway - check

Gumshield to play a game of football - check

A large wooden spoon to try my hand at hurling - check

Dodgy irish accent with lots of "to be sure","go on","feck","i'm up for the craic" and "top of the morning to ya" - check

Daniel O'Donnell 2006 "your going down satan" tour t-shirt - check

So i think i'm ready for the off early hours friday morning, hope my kidneys last out the weekend LOL.

I have been called to court by PC Plod of the Toys R Us special branch after CCTV footage come to light of me attacking Daddy Bear. Due to the nature of this CCTV footage i can only show you stills from the film.

As you can see it was a surprised unprovoked attack as he yelled "This ones for Elmo"

I was almost passing out when i thought of a cunning plan, "Daddy Bear,your porridge is burning" he quickly let go.

With a counter straight right to his jaw he realised i was bluffing about his porridge, boy was he mad.

With the old "look up there" line i looked up and felt the force of his furry forehead crack my chin.

Time for some dirty trick tactics so i did the pointing at the tummy routine then ran my finger up and kneed him in his gentleman vegtables.

After this the fight went out of CCTV range, we scuffled past the Barney section "I love you" Barney said, "Thats no good to me you purple prat" i shouted back, we fell in to the Noddy aisle "hooray for noddy" , Big Ears gouged at Daddy Bears eyes with his pointy ears while Noddy shook his hat so the bell alerted PC Plod, nice one Noddy. Unfortunately PC Plod was already on a call as Barbie and Ken were having domestic over the malibu camper van, i have to think fast the bear was trying to get me in a hug. I lured him in to the disney area and pointed at Cinderella "look its goldilocks", he turned quickly and roared "you ate my kids porridge" and off they ran. So i have to face a trial by toys but its ok i have a great lawyer "the fat controller", well he's the only toy that looked smart enough to defend me, not sure of his lawyer credentials though. The jury are made up of a right bunch,Captain Flack! Pugh! Pugh! Barney McGrew! Cuthbert! Dibble! Grubb! a firecrew who actually have never fought a fire. I await my fate LOL.

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