Oceanic Tour Dates are confirmed!

Firstly another apology, i have now posted all the pictures of my customers on their last night. Had a bit of a back log but the website is now all up to date including last nights customers photos.

 

Well what a strange end to the season we're having. The resort is very, very quiet. All I'm hearing is "there's no one on the streets" and the old road is most probably worse than the main road. We're lucky if at night we see 20 people all night wander down the road. Since Sat(29/9) its been a weird period. Sat packed out with all spare chairs used, Sun just 10 people all night, Mon again packed out, Tues not packed out but a great night, Wed half full. So as you can see the nights are all over the place with most people coming in from 10pm after meals, gone by midnight and very few early evening drinkers if any. Still, not complaining as I've broken all records since i opened in 2007 this year and Oct is just a bonus. You can tell its not that busy in the resort as i see many owners riding/driving around seeing how other business are doing, if they were that busy they wouldn't be going around the resort, they'd be in their bar or restaurant making sure everything is OK.

 

I'd like to thank everyone who came along to my birthday buffet on Friday and glad you enjoyed the food. Had really fun night so thanks to one and all.

 

Woke up early one morning, well, i wake up early most mornings but this morning i decided to go out for a ride on my bike, Still a bit tired i stepped out of apartment to be confronted by a dangerous venomous snake (maybe lol). It was just sat there or the step of the stair well of my apt. It wasn't moving but it didn't look like it was dead, do snakes sleep? Anywhoo, i decided to slip past it quietly and try not to disturb its slumber. After an hour i came back, it was still early and the snake had moved down 2 steps but was still again. At this point i took the picture and went back in to apt. another hour past and i heard from outside screams and shouts in Greek from my landlady and her 2 Young daughters. Being the brave, chivalrous, dashing, knight in shinning armour type hero i am i raced to the door of my apartment, placed the key in the door and locked myself in without them hearing the lock click LOL. Hey, I'm not stupid and as the saying goes "Women and children first".

 

Why couldn't it have been a fluffy puppy.

 

The Oceanic tour is all booked up and ready to go. As you may know myself and Helen go around the UK for weekends away and try to meet up with customers who have visited the Oceanic over the past seasons and buy them a drink as a little thank you for spending time in my bar.

Tour dates are:-

Leeds - 9,10,11 Dec
Manchester - 5 Jan 2013
London - 22,23,24 Feb 2013
Bolton - 22,23,24 Mar 2013

Times and venues of our nights out to be confirmed.

Not been up to much this week as packing my apartment up ready to move to our new house so this update will be a bit short but i did go out to visit a hotel i was told about in the area of Kipseli. Its called Tsamis Hotel. Lovely. It's off the beaten track but well worth the ride when i got there. The pool lounger areas are on 3 levels, large pool, small pool, sun terrace then you have a walk way in to the sea. There were only 4 other people there when i visited but it is the end of the season and they are closing Friday.
I've visited lots and lots of hotels on this island and many outside the resorts and i have to say that almost all the hotels that i have visited outside the resorts are of a high standard. Better rooms, better decor, better facilities and better pools.

The pool areas at Tsamis Hotel.

Well folks as i said sorry that its a short update but not got out much this week but will promise to do more this week so I've got plenty to write about on my next update. One bit of good news is that I've booked my flight ready for next season and now in re-negotiations with my landlord about a long term contract for Oceanic. We had already agreed on one but now we are discussing a better one for both of us which will see me here for at least another 6 years, good news eh? Well for some it is ha ha. Will let you know when its all sorted.

Well its ice cream time so until next week, remember, you can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink, especially if that drink taste like dishwater LOL.

Earth to Kalamaki, come in Kalamaki, is there anybody there?

 

Lets start with a quiz my faithful blog readers.

 

The picture below shows 3 young gents, are they:-

 

1/ Party, binge drinking, girl grabbing, foul mouthed students going to Laganas?

 

2/ Fans of the punk band "Snot flinging fart bag and the gurgling turd quartet"?

 

3/ Geeky idiots who slept outside a shop for 7 days to be the first to get the iphone 5?

 

Difficult one i know, i think the Batman costume may give it away LOL

 

Just a little information for those of you in geek world, iphone 6 and 7 are ready to go in to production once sales of iphone 5 drop off the scale. 

 

So its almost the end of the season and hasn't it dropped off quickly. The resort is pretty much quiet all over. Not many on the old road at all if anyone after 10pm. The picture below was taken at 7.45pm last night (wed 26/9) and as you can see its deserted. In saying that the bar is still very busy, last night was full to capacity with all emergency chairs being used. This season now i have only had 12 nights all season where the bar hasn't been full to capacity at some point during the evening which i am amazed at. On Monday i had hit last years whole seasons takings and i still have 25 days to go. To all my wonderful customers you've been amazing this season so a huge, massive, big big big hug and thank you.

7.45pm on the old road, more dogs than tourists lol.

Been getting on a health kick now ready to go back to the UK and a visit to my 4th home Simbec Medical Research Centre. I was pleasantly surprised to see Debs my nurse from Simbec appear in  my bar. Debs and her husband Mark had decided to come to Kalamaki for a 2 week holiday. It was lovely to talk to her without her wiring me up to a machine that goes beep, shoving a thermometer in my gob (thank god its not an anal one) or her jabbing me with a needle then asking "do you want tape for your cotton ball?" A big HELLO to all the other staff at Simbec will see you soon and will tell you all the juicy gossip about Debs drunken nights LOL.
So back on to the health kick, lots of All Bran, Fresh fish and fruit. I go to the fish mongers in town for my fish but cant do full fish so i go for the steaks as i can find the bones easily, Not sure what fish I've been eating as cant be bothered to ask, i just point, show 2 fingers ( as in amount not the swear sign) pay and leave. Tastes lovely mmmmmmmmm.

The unknown fish I've been eating. Answers on a postcard please.

While in town i noticed a British family walking along the port road being very loud, then i saw the mother of the group take a picture of this-

Then she went on to take a picture of this-

I decided to follow them (not like a crazy stalker) as i was amused at the pics they were taking and wanted to see what else they would take a picture of. Then this made me laugh proper -

I don't think they have been abroad before, come to think of it with pics like that i would say they've never left their street LOL. Their friends must dread looking through the holiday snaps.

Decided to scale Mount Skopos again this week, on my motorbike, Virago. No I'm not cheating, I've walked up and run up it so it was time to take the easy option.....or so i thought. Bloody hell, talk about wrong bike for the job. Quad easy, 4x4 definitely, but a cruiser motorbike, bad idea. The road was a nightmare, only the first 100 meters was tarmac then from the base of Skopos to the top was all rocks, gravel, trenches and pot holes. Never been on such a bad road in all my life and it was steep. I fought with the bike all the way up but made it. About 500 meters from the summit a large digger with caterpillar tracks had broke down on the road with a guy trying to fix it and there was a space just big enough for maybe a Fiat Panda to pass it. The bike got passed easy and a small car passed me near the top making its way back down. Even with all the struggling with the bike it was all worth it. The views are stunning and i found a church i had never visited before when up there, Church Panagia Skopiotissa. Its so well restored and so peaceful. Just me and a tomb LOL. My mind did start to play tricks on me as i have watched to many horror films in the past. Wheres Helen when i needed her. Had nothing to throw to the Zombies LOL.

Here's a few pics to look over.

 

I was just waiting for the tomb to burst open while taking this pic.

And to prove i made it up here's a pic of me, had to run like mad to get in position before timer went off, took 5 attempts, was knackered by the 5th one LOL.

Time to head back down after 30 Min's on the top of the mountain avoiding zombies. As i approached the broke down digger the car that passed me on my way up was still waiting behind it as it couldn't get passed, poor buggers they may still be up there now ha ha. So i go past them and it was the most frightening ride i have ever done, couldn't use brakes or clutch, all first gear and bike sliding all over place because of the lose road surface. Front end would go, then i would straighten it, back end would go, I'd correct it. I had to do that all the way down with shear drops over the edge at some points. By the time i had made it to the bottom i had to stop to give my arms a rest. Never again will i go up by bike but i am glad i did it the once.

The Oceanic Rock Legend Collection t-shirts have sold so well, sold up to today 224. I can't believe that such a small bar has sold so many. Decided on a new design for next season as myself and Spiro who prints my t-shirts are going to sell them through an Oceanic on line shop. The reason for this is so many people have asked about them when they have seen people wearing them in the UK and some people have asked for them to be sent to UK. This winter i will be designing an on line shop and all contacts will go straight to Spiro where he will receive the orders and print and send them. So watch this space.

I don't watch hardly any TV as i watch programmes off the net, documentaries, factual and rock profile programmes. I came across this on you tube about the lead singer of Sweet - Brian Connolly who i think you'll agree was a beautiful looking guy in his day but look at what fame can do to people, very sad to watch but a great documentary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-HTvFZLS88

Right then folks that's it for this week as i need to go and soak in the tub, pulled a muscle in my back turning to quickly as i heard a 1 cent coin drop LOL

Till next week folks, its praise the lord and hallelujah, lets get funky in sandals and socks lol

Ok folks, you can now all calm down, the update has landed.



Ok before i start this blog i have to make a huge apology to Simon and Liz who i was meant to be meeting at 8am to walk up Mount Skopos. Due to the bar closing late and myself not getting to bed till 5.30am it was difficult to get up at 7am. I set the alarm, alarm went off but i did the fatal mistake of saying to myself "I'll just lay here for 5 Min's". That led to an extra 90 Min's sleep by which time it was to late, so I'm very sorry but i can't help that the bar closes late.

 

 

As you all know Helen has been here that's why the update is late as i give all my time to Helen when she's on holiday. Another great 2 weeks and now not long till I'm back home with her. We went all around the island again in search of new tavernas to eat in and visited some of our favourite places along with going to our new home to start to get the place ready for us next season.

 

 

So after a visit to Porto Limnionas we decided to carry on north in search of a taverna and we found one at Porto Vromi village called "The Olive Tree Story Taverna" (we were never told a story ha ha). We were met by a friendly middle aged Greek lady who spoke very good English so it was easy to converse with here but there was something strangely familiar about her look, she looked like a younger version of the old lady who years ago mugged me in broad daylight for a coffee at her cafe (the story is on this blog somewhere).

 

OH, here it is.

http://www.oceanicbarzante.blogspot.gr/2010/05/first-tour-of-island-this-season.html

 

So we ordered our drinks, starters and main meal at 2.15pm, she then asked were we in a rush for the food to be cooked as i had ordered lamb chops and Helen pork chop, so i said "no" thinking she was going to fry it instead of put it on the grill. Then i see her walk out the back of the building with a tray of meat, STRANGE. Half an hour later our drinks came, tea and a coffee, longest I've ever waited for a drink. Then i could smell a familiar smell, charcoal. She had only bloody gone and started up a BBQ to cook the meat on, there was only us in there, GOOD GRIEF! An hour after (3.15pm) our meals arrived, Helen's looked so good a nice thick big pork chop. Mine, well, talk about not enough meat to cover a Jacobs cracker, it wasn't so much lamb chops they were more like tiny ribs. Come to think about it there was a kitten hanging about but i didn't see it again after my meal was on the table LOL. But that's what makes the island what it is, all these little experiences. As we were riding around the island i remember one year when i was in Argassi i hired a scooter and went on a tour and on the way back not far from Alykanas something broke on the scooter and it just crawled along, in fact it went that slow an asthmatic snail waved at me as it past by on the side of the road. It took forever to get back to Argassi and to add insult to injury the scooter shop owner passed me going the opposite way near the water village and just waved and nodded.

 

Really excited about our new home in Bochali we've been up and moved all the personal items of the owner in to the spare wardrobe and started to move things to where we want them and sorted out the patio area. I have moved our outdoor dinning set to what the owner called "Gods Window", so I've taken a picture to see what you think.

 



 

I made Helen sit at the table as the glare of my bald patch would have spoilt the view LOL.

 

Every year i make a vigil to the Tropicana Centre to pay my respects to a bar that was the busiest in the resort at one point in time. Its such a shame to see such a wonderful with a great area just go to waste but Argassi has died a quick death since the all inclusive, very sad to see.

The Tropicana, will never forget you.

While i was in Argassi i was thinking about all the places i have lived on the island since 2001 and what with the new house i have decided to show you a picture history of my old gaffs.

2001 Angel apartments off the Argassi hill road behind the Palmyra hotel. A large bedroom with a private shower and kitchen separate in 2 rooms off a corridor. The shower i shared with a homeless puppy that used to sleep In there at night and a kitchen i shared food with a field mouse. 4/10

2002 Angela Apartments of the back road of Argassi just up from the family inn. This was 2 bedrooms, living room and double balcony. One memory of this place sticks in my mind and that's when we had an earth tremor and i rushed out of room with just a small towel around me with nothing underneath and locked myself out of apartment at 7am in morning. got back in at 9am. My bits were colder than a penguins ass LOL. 8/10

2003-2005 Athena Apartments behind the Tropicana. Had just a small studio here so was a bit poky but so easy for work, nice family owned it and very peaceful, 2005 was the best season in these apartments. 6/10

2006 - 2012 Gold Centre Apartments this was the cheapest, most modern and best apartment i have had out of all of them and will miss it when i move but the new house will make up for it. 10/10

Been up to my friends taverna George who has the little place on the side of Skopos Mountain and it still is just as good today as it was 7 years ago when i first visited it. It has changed so much since then but the view will never change.

This view is one i hadn't seen since about 2006. Its just after the village of Kiliomeno. There are some amazing views all over this beautiful island if you can take the time to get out of the resort.

Found a new locals taverna that has only just opened this season in Zakynthos Town. It was a Chinese restaurant that had closed down years ago and up until this year it still had the Chinese lanterns hanging outside, The small menu is very traditional and the food was really good. just how a taverna should be.

2 weeks ago i had the shortest customer every visit my bar (no jokes about my height please) he was so pleasant and charming when he first came in but as the cocktails flowed he become a real pain in the ass, swearing, shouting, feeling up women, asking for any spare change, he was GNOMELESS! get it gnomeless - homeless, please yourselves lol.

Oceanic Biscuit Club

Kevlar (president), Helen, Cassey, Sam, Caz, Jackie and Justine. Start time 2am.

Rules of Biscuit Club

1st RULE: You do not talk about BISCUIT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about BISCUIT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop dunking" or the biscuit goes limp, biscuit drops off, biscuits over.
4th RULE: Only 7 people dunk and discuss.
5th RULE: One biscuit at a time.
6th RULE: No Orios, no cakes.
7th RULE: Dunking will go on as long as it has to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at BISCUIT CLUB, you HAVE to dunk.

First to be discussed was The Digestive. We all agreed its your standard biscuit with good dunking qualities and easy to eat dry. 2€ a pack, 12.5 cent a biscuit. Kevlar Supplied.

Lotus Biscuits. Not much dunkability but great for dry eating. Posh expensive biscuits so Sam and Caz say. 2.20€ a pack, 6 cent a biscuit. Sam and Caz supplied.

Jammie Dodgers mmmmmm! amazing dunkability, amazing dry eating. 2€ a pack, 25 cent a biscuit. Kevlar Supplied.

Mr. Papadopoulos (not from eastenders) Cookies. Crap, Crap, Crap, tasted like rusks with dried orange peel and tiny chocolate chips. 1.70€ a pack, 12 cent a biscuit, Cassey Supplied.

Fruit Shortcake. Couldn't find another pack to buy to take a pic so copied one off the net. Good taste, great dunkablitiy and no sugar on top like UK version. 2€ a pack, 8 cent a biscuit. Jackie supplied.

So to sum up BISCUIT CLUB best value and cheapest per biscuit were Lotus biscuits so the opposite of what i had been led to believe lol, best tasting definitely Jammie Dodgers, best dunkability Fruit Shortcake. Biscuit Club will continue next season.

 

Now I'm sure there is a shed load of other things I'm meant to tell you but really can't remember as its been 2 weeks.

 

Season is now officially best ever season. first 5 months broke every record with October still to go and once again its all down to my customers, nothing to do with me, if it wasn't for you i wouldn't be here.

 

 

I've been hearing lots of talk about my bar from rumours going around the resort which my customers have been told by others so lets sort these out shall we LOL.

 

 

1/  I'm only busy because of my regulars. FALSE! This year i have seen less repeat visitors than any other season. They may have gone to cheaper destinations, gone to a different resort, drank in a different bar or even the worst thought, passed away but i hope not this reason. The Internet has helped, with a majority of my customers coming from reading my blog after finding it through searches for Zante and Kalamaki.

 

2/ The Oceanic is up for sale. FALSE! I have always said if someone came in with the right offer i would consider it, then open a new business maybe in a different resort or on a different island but i have not put it up for sale.

 

3/ I have offered the business to someone within the resort. FALSE! They asked me last season if i would sell it to them and i told them i wasn't selling it but i told them the amount it would take to buy it if i did decide to sell, it was never offered to them.

 

 

4/ I am a millionaire with connections to Roman Abramovich, Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay. False! I only have half a million LOL

 

So folks that's all i can think of for now, so looking forward to finishing this season, very tired, aching and need a holiday but no matter what condition I'm in I'm always happy and feel blessed for everything i have in my life and why should i moan, I'm alive aren't i, that's the best thing of all.

 

Till next week my beloved blog followers lets go full steam ahead in to the end of season and see what happens, HI HO SILVER, AWWAAAYYYYYY!

"Our house, in the middle of our...hills?"

Well August is over and to celebrate that fact last night at 12.30am i bought everyone in the bar a drink. Yes, yes, yes i can hear you all saying "Was it empty?" No it wasn't, there were about 20 customers in, i know I'm tight but i do give drinks away sometimes and the reason i did was because August broke my all time record for a best month of any season over the 6 years. I did cry a little, not because i broke my record but because they all chose expensive drinks LOL

 

Myself and Helen have started making plans for next season already and first thing was to find a new home as i think after 7 years of living in Kalamaki listening to drunks singing at stupid o'clock in the morning, watching couples fight after the bars have closed, quads beeping their horns as though the horn has only just been invented, children crying and shouting outside as they play and just general noise from vehicles, bars and people it was time to move. So i was given a number of a house that was up for rent all year round. 250€ per month, fully furnished, 2 bedrooms, fully fitted kitchen, living room, patio area and garden in quiet surroundings. Sounded perfect. Called the number and its owned by a British couple, bonus! Then i find out its located at Bochali, DOUBLE BONUS! So i met up with the owner and followed him to the house. I was wondering where he was taking me as we took the opposite turning to Bochali but that's because its not the port facing side of Bochali its the inland view and wow what a view and location. It was so quiet, no main road, no cars, nothing, all you could hear were the crickets (not Buddy Hollies backing band, the little green things) Absolute bliss! His family were holidaying there when i visited so didn't take pics of interior and patio area but will when i start to move our stuff in. I had looked at 2 other properties as well but both were unfurnished and were 300€ and 400€ per month so think i got a good deal with this place. Here's some pics from outside.

 

 

Looking down on to our new home which you can see in the centre of the picture, only one other family living near us and they live in a really cool modern mansion.

 



A close up of our new home.

The Garden. It needs some attention but its OK Helen loves to potter about. Me? Good god no, you won't see me doing gardening, i kill mint which everyone keeps on telling me grows like wildfire, not when I'm looking after it it doesn't LOL.

The stunning view from our Garden.

This is the view Helen will get when she's washing the dishes haha.

Well both my bikes are now fully functional and good to go. You never know when one may break down so always handy to have a spare. Id be truly stuffed if i didn't have any transport, how would i get my take away at 5am from town LOL

Talking of food, bikes and town, i had to wait for my mechanic to finish another bike so i went for a coffee and i couldn't believe my eyes. there sat in front of me was Bo' Selectas Ccccrraig David. He was sat having a frappe. Wow, this island is full of superstars if your in the right place at the right time, RE-E-WIND!

 

 

A few people have asked me am i back next year as some of my blog posts have seemed as though i was missing Helen and finding it hard. Of course i find it hard being away from Helen and this season has been so manic and busy i'm struggling with the heat but our aim is for both of us to end up living out here and we know for now it has to be this way. The business has got better and better every season with the first season breaking even which was a miracle to be honest cause in the first season you usually just make enough to cover Rent for business and house, suppliers, tax and living expenses and lose the money you used to set up your business (fixtures/fittings and paperwork) but i made it all back. Very Lucky. We had said in the past we would only close the bar if i was having to pay out of my own pocket to keep it going or if someone made us a good offer to buy the business. I have had 3 offers since 2009 but turned them down. So as it stands i will be back with Oceanic next season that's why we got the new home.

 

 

For those of you that visit the old road you will know of the wonderful family that own the supermarket next to the Cavo Doro. Well when i run out of stock i dash across and get it from them and on almost every trip they give me some bananas for free as i like over ripe ones. In fact they've given me so many I'm starting to look like Bingo from the Banana Splits or is that Lee LOL.

 

I knew I'd find a way to use these pics again LOL.

 

Lee?

Bingo?

 

Well from this weekend the resort will just start to slowly empty as schools, colleges and uni's start back up from next week but Ive been told there are alot of people coming to bar this month so we will wait and see, if I'm busy that's great, if I'm not that's also fine i can't complain at all, even if the season died off completely from next week i have covered all my costs already and can relax from now till the end of the season.

 

 

Well folks its time for some all bran with bananas and kiwi for my lunch. High fibre diet now you see ready for winter time so i can pile the pounds on like a hamster about to hibernate LOL

 

So until next week my lovely blog readers, its all downhill from here, YEEEHAAA!



And we're in to the home stretch, Driving lessons here i come!

Well folks we're coming towards the end of what i call "Awful August" in Kalamaki  as it usually is and almost in the home stretch. To be fair this season Awful August has been more like Amazing August. Its been one of my best Augusts but the nights have been very hit and miss with the drinking times. Some nights empty till late then non stop till early hours other nights ram packed early then steady till early hours. This week not been closing till about 5am. In fact its now 7.15am and closed at 5.45am. I took my bike "Ghost" in to town straight after work ready for its service at 10am. 2 flat tyres, no lights, no brakes but engine was fine all the way there. On the way to town i thought I'd put some air in the tyres so i started to pull in to the petrol station only to be chased back out again by a very angry Rottweiler that i had woke up. You ever tried to outrun an angry dog with 2 flat tyres, lets just say its head got a few kicks and i was close to having brown jeans if you know what i mean LOL.

"Why were you at Oceanic till so late?" i hear you all ask with a child like wonder, well boys and girls, i got in to an in depth discussion about a very serious rock documentary called "Spinal Tap" then it progressed to bands and singers, Chris told me about band called Police...... how do i put this, lets just say the second word is something to do with "Your fathers the milkman or postman, I'm not sure". So i will have a listen to them later, then Sandra told me about an up and coming young singer called Rick Astley that she thought was super dooper and has all his records, i must try to find him on you tube. To be honest every night when we're in Oceanic till the early hours its like a late night drunken version of "Jukebox Jury" we sit there and when a song comes on we usually comment on it like "Crap" or "Brilliant", Micheal Bubble came on (yes i know i spelt it wrong i was meant to) and all 5 of us were violently sick.

The Oceanic this season has become like Wild Kingdom of Kalamaki what with frogs, lizards, cats and dogs all visiting at some point. Few nights ago it was a puppies turn I named him "Rock Pup" he was so cute i was gutted when Helen said i couldn't keep him but she was right. So i fed him, watered him and made him a little bed when i closed the bar so he could stay there till morning as he had stayed in the bar all night while i was open.

Awww Rock Pup, he's buggered off now though LOL.

This winter i am learning to drive. Yes i know I'm 44 this year and should be able to drive but I've always had motorbikes since i was 16 but i decided to take driving lessons after i saw this car in Zakynthos Town, its called a Gwiz or to give it another name a mobility scooter with a shell LOL.
I mean, what the hell is this car. Firstly its a horrible shape, secondly it goes slower than me running to the supermarket and thirdly why the hell would you choose the colours that make it look like a Kinder egg toy. I bet you were thinking i wanted to learn to drive so i could have one of these cars, nope, i want to learn to drive so i can ram a Gwiz off the road.

How did this car even make the journey over here, IT'S A MIRACLE!

My enforcers decided to come and make sure everything was OK with me in Kalamaki. They are both Joy Division fans so they ordered a t-shirt each but both had different lyrics on them, one had "She's Lost Control" the other had "New Dawn Fades". They wanted to have a picture taken with me with all of us in our t-shirts to show them off. I agreed but i insisted they must keep their identities a secret due to them watching over me while I'm on the island. As you can see their biceps are wider than my head but i think you'll agree my arms look the most toned LOL. As someone said "we'd make a good front row".

The enforcers are here, don't mess with the short ass ha ha

Its been a great week with great customers, great friends and even better music but alas the punk music will be put to bed for what is usually a whole year but this time it will only be till October, WAYHAY! And the lovely Helen is out before that so i got 2 months of good cheer to finish the season off along with lots of friends arriving in Sept and Oct.

Well this update hasn't taken so long as i typed some of it yesterday but its now 7.59am and going in to town at 10am so no sleep till this afternoon.

Oh forgot to say one thing, if you are coming to visit Oceanic No, I DON'T HAVE WIFI! Does my bar look that hi tech? I haven't even got a TV aerial or a telephone line. When people ask have i got wifi and i say "no sorry" you would think that by the look on their face that i had just taken their treasured and beloved pet and shot it in front of them LOL. Remember that thing on the front of your face with teeth and a tongue, its called a mouth, try remembering how to socialise without using facebook ha ha. Also whats with restaurants having wifi now, how anti-social is that, usually after a meal you'd have a coffee and chat, now its heads down, fingers out and start swiping in silence. Bad move restaurants, don't like that idea at all.

A picture re-construction of a wifi addict being told " sorry no wifi" LOL

 

So its goodbye from me and goodbye from....... just remembered I've never been in the Two Ronnies, so its just goodbye from me LOL.

What do you call a guy with 2 motorbikes that don't work?

Kevin.

Good morning folks, well its morning here, just closed the bar and its 4am, i must stop drinking Oshee energy drinks with vodka lol.

So what you all been up to? Anything interesting? Well its all go here on the island but where do i start, well what if i told you that I've won the lottery, WOOHOO! No, i haven't actually. What if i told you I've £100 in a beauty contest and go directly to old Kent road, Yeehaa! No that hasn't happened either. What if i told you we lost electric to the whole island, ooooOOOOHHH! Now that did happen. I thought the days were long gone when resorts were left in darkness but it seems not. First one phase of electric went but that was OK as everything was still running in my bar at least. Then they turned the whole resort off for about an hour. Complete darkness. Lucky for me that one night earlier in the week one of the deaf sellers had had a bumper night sales in the bar and gave me a torch that straps to your head for free. It was very useful as i could still make drinks and look like a Dalek. At one point i strapped it to my wrist and pretended i was The Predator as it also has a red lazer, aaaaAAAAHHHHH! After an hour the lights came back on and would you believe it the butler had been murdered, NNNOOOooooooooo.

Oceanic in darkness, Alfred, my poor butler, how could someone do such a thing ha ha.



So I've been in to town loads last week as the T-shirts are flying out I've now sold 151 t-shirts up till today and got 5 to order tomorrow. As i was walking down the street i noticed a poster and there on it is Ricky Gervais's greek twin, Rickos Gervaisos. He is doing a live show here at the amphitheatre, its called Animalos, wonder if its as funny? Well i wont get to find out as its on when I'm working, damn you busy chill out bar.

Rickos Gervaisos, like Ricky Gervais but fatter LOL.

It was nice to see an ex employee of mine from the Tropicana arrive at the bar last night, Paula and her partner Kevin, sorry Gavin (they know what I'm on about). Paula worked for me in 2005 and she was a pleasure to work with, genuine nice person. Shame i can't say the same about myself as a boss to work for. You think Gordon Ramsay is bad, i know swear words that would make Gordon himself cry. I've been watching online Masterchef USA with the great man himself Mr. Ramsay hosting it. Now in this they call the contenders "Home Cooks" so basically people who just cook at home not as a profession. It amazes me that these, so called home chefs know how to cook anything. Every other episode they are given a mystery box to make meal with and the one box had in it a live Sea Urchin! What? Who the hell has bought a sea urchin for home.

" What do you fancy for dinner love?"
"What we Got?"
"Well we got beans on toast, bangers and mash or Sea Urchin?"
"Sea Urchin, haven't had that for a week, lovely"

I mean come on, how would you know how to cook it? How long for? and what the Jesus h Christ would you put with it?
So to all the Masterchef contenders i challenge you to replicate my 5 star Michelin award winning meal, POT NOODLE ROLL! MMMMmmmm. Put to much water and its to runny, put to little and its to dry, you need just the exact amount of water so you can put it in to the roll without it all running out. You have 10 mins, your time starts........NOW!

Marco Pierre White, Raymond Blanc and Delia Smith, EAT MY ROLL YOU!

Not a good time for me and my motorbikes at the moment. Saturday my clutch cable snapped on Virago then my other bike Ghost wouldn't kick over, so it was a long hot walk home Saturday night but Sunday i got both fixed and now I'm spoilt for choice but Ghost needs a real good service but at least i can now go and pay my bills, oh joy lol.

Now I'm sat here thinking "I forgot to write about something last week" but for the love of god i can't remember this week what i was going to write last week, my head is really fuzzy at this time of the morning, think, think, think! Oh yeah that's it.

The Olympics. For me if any of the gold medal winners walked in the bar and slapped me in the face and said "i won a gold medal at the Olympics" i still wouldn't recognise them. Boring! The whole Olympics was waiting for just one moment a 9.69 sec moment to be exact, all the rest was dull, dull, dull, oh apart from the ladies beach volley ball of course, i watched it for the skill in their play lol. The opening ceremony. why do wheel out Sir Paul all the time, Jubilee he's there, Olympics he's there, new lidl opening in Skipton he's there. I'm sure we have more than one old git who makes good music. Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Sex Pistols changed the face of music, Duran Duran (well the did conquer the states and worldwide), Pink Floyd and I'm sure many many others but just because this old saggy faced pensioner sings a song where everyone can sing "NAH NAH NAH NAH-NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH HEY JUDE" we have to have him everywhere. I also read that the Spice Girls were closing the ceremony,GOOD GOD, pass the revolver now. Their last single (the comeback one) didn't even get in the top 10 and to top it all George Micheal, bet no one went to toilet while he was in the stadium or got in their car as he left LOL. I won a gold medal during the Olympics for the 20 metre short sprint to the supermarket for stock. Bring it on Mr. Bolt, you ain't got a chance.

Well August is still going strong, had a bit of a quieter night Saturday but still did double target so can't complain. It was nice to be able to walk to tables and take time to chat a bit more to my customers than run round like Rocky chasing that chicken. So looking forward to Cyprus in Jan really need a rest, body not been the same since Winter Wipeout LOL.

I believe some of you are missing your cocktails since being home so just to be cruel and cheese you all off here is the now world famous Banoffee Pie Cocktail. A customer who reads my blog and asked me about my nemesis Heston Blumenthal and i said "he who's name must not be mentioned", they said yes and went on to rename me "Heston Boozenthal", i quite like that, how do you change your name through Depol? LOL

The wonderful Banoffee Pie mmmmmmmmm.

Well I'm off out in to town in 90 Min's, its now 6am and if you ain't at the electricity board by 8am to pay your bill its a nightmare so going as soon as the door opens at 7.30am.

I here that you liked my little picture tour through my past well i will do another for you soon, The Punk Years, The Actor and The Stunt Man. Talking of Punk, after midnight last night we had a punk music session (sorry to the other 20 customers), this only ever happens when Chris and Kevin are here when i get out my punk tracks that I've been listening to from when i was 9, Pistols, UK Subs, Misfits, Crass, Stiff Little Fingers etc etc. But at the end of the night i was paid the best compliment yet when Chris said "I want to buried in this bar" AWESOME! So that led me to thinking, i got quite a few patio slabs, one per person and i could do the service being as I'm a Reverend LOL perhaps not eh!

On the subject of music, one video was my inspiration for my first visit to a Greek Island, King - Alone without you. This Video was shot on Corfu and i thought it was so cool they were all on scooters without helmets and the places they show in the video looked great so my first holiday other than to France was to Corfu where i also DJ'd. Have a look at the video, i thought Simon Le Bon was a crap mover LOL

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2u26n_king-alone-without-you_music

Staying on the subject of music but this is now in a bad way, what the hell were Metallica thinking giving this girl the right to sing Unforgiven. It is so awful i want to jump inside the screen and slap her telling her "NO, this is wrong, stop it, NOW!" LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP0-wMUxW1o

Hello to the 2 new blog followers in Cyprus and 2 new blog followers in Romania

So until next week, Kev's handy tip of the week. Are you worried about tooth loss? Normal brushing just isn't doing enough? Well how about substituting toothpaste for ketchup/mayo and mouth wash for sauces. This way with every bite you take your brushing your teeth and rinsing at the same time. No need to thank me, its OK LOL.

Frogbite? not on my cocktail menu you ain't!

OK so lets start with a few apologies. Firstly, sorry for the late update but my landlord changed his router and i didn't have the security key to use it but now have a connection so can get on with my blog and website. Secondly, sorry to all the customers over the past 3 months and first 4 days in Aug who have been turning up to come in Oceanic but haven't been able to get in cause the bars full, i use my 10 emergency chairs as well but once they're out that's it i can't fit anymore in so a big big sorry but what can i do? Thirdly, sorry in advance for this blog not having much of an update of pics but I've been so busy i just haven't had time to go out and about, its to hot and i try to save my energy for the bar. Apologies over so on with the rambling gibberish!

I decided to pop to Laganas one day for my "Big Boys" feast (Big Boys is a fast food take away in case you didn't know). As i approached Laganas i could see the police stopping the idiots on quads and scooters without crash helmets and giving them fines so i took a side road off as didn't fancy being pulled over and having to get all my papers out. As i took a slow ride along the back streets i came across a bar i used to always go to after a night on the main strip. Cellos. This place was the chill out place to go after the clubs and sit there till the sun came up. I had some good nights or should that be mornings in here in 2000 and 2001. But it is now just an empty shell like so many places all over the island. Cellos was the place to be but it just goes to show even the best of places have a limited life span, nothing ever lasts forever. While waiting for my feast i did some people watching and i was amazed to see 7 individual young ladies doing the walk of shame, skyscraper heels in hand, hair looked like they had just been poked with a cattle prod and head down rubbing their face so no one would recognize them, their parents must be so proud of them LOL.

Cellos, what a waste of a great little bar.

Now I'm always up for suggestions for cocktails and i had one from a family, well the father of the family (I am so sorry i forgot to ask your names and you drank in Oceanic every night, I'm an idiot, sorry, I'm Kevin by the way lol). It contained Half a cider, half a lager, OJ and Blue Curacao and he called it a Frogbite. Now the colour wasn't great i have to be honest but the taste was well...... how can i put this......either the actual taste of licking a frog or of the pond water the frog came from, it was rank. Its OK, i told the father this to his face so I'm not being horrible without him knowing. So I'm afraid it won't be a regular fixture on the menu but thanks for the offer ha ha. Oh, by the way i have another new cocktail, its called "Thunder Road" after a Bruce Springsteen track. I made it up especially for a customer of mine who was a Springsteen fan. Both that and "Elegantly Wasted" cocktail will be on the menu for next season.

The bar is still surprising me every night, May - up, June - up, July - up. July is usually my quietest month but this season it was better than June and all the first 3 months have beaten previous seasons and Aug is already up on my best Aug, I'm so grateful to all the tourists who have visited me and enjoyed the bar and who have made 2012 so far my best season out of the 6 years, thank you. I can only improve the bar by listening to what my customers like, taking it on board and seeing if it will fit in with the chill out theme but 95% like Oceanic just the way it is but as i always say "if you haven't got perfection you can always improve" or is it "if you got perfection you can't improve" anyway they both mean the same thing and i say it LOL.

So as previously stated i haven't got much of an update as its been all work, work, work so to give you a good laugh i thought I'd post some old pics of me for you take the P**S out of. I've done them in a time line with a few little true stories of my life.

Pic 1. The Wonder Years.

Ah yes, a young hopeful in his school uniform. Even at the age of 13 i was quite the boy about town with the non conforming black cardigan and collar pin with chain. I remember in french class one day i was sat at my desk in this very same outfit and the headmaster walked in and shouted "Who do you think you are Pinnell, a Croupier?" I just laughed and thought to myself "I've never seen anyone deliver parcels dressed like this", yes i know that's a courier but never heard of a croupier so thought he'd said it wrong, when have you ever seen a 13 year old in a casino, how was i supposed to know what a croupier was and here's a headmaster thinking i would know!

Pic 2. The Germans are coming!

Its Crete, 1994, I'm running a nightclub in Hersonissos and also the superstar DJ of the resort. I'm passed by some German tourists. As they pass i hear them whisper "Jon Bon Jovi" i carry on walking. I feel a tap on my shoulder, i turn, the 4 German tourists are stood there and ask "You Jon Bon Jovi?" i reply quietly "Yes". They ask me for my autograph, again quietly i say "Yeah Sure". They try to make conversation, I reply quietly "Sorry, sore Throat". They have their pictures taken with me, shake my hand and leave. You may be thinking "Why was he always talking quietly?" that's easy, I'm crap at American accents ha ha.

Pic 3. Accidents will happen.

Its Crete, 1995, second year in Hersonissos. I'm in my DJ prime and the club is bouncing, well, the people are the building stayed still. My DJ booth was raised up with the floor of the booth being about 5 foot in the air. A young Lady approaches the booth, I squat down and say, "Hi there, Hows it going? What can i do for you?" She starts to speak then stops in mid sentence. She spotted something, she starts to cry and runs off. "Strange" i thought. I go to stand up and feel a tug at my gentleman vegetables. What i didn't know was that as i squat down my jean shorts had split on the crotch and my meat and 2 veg had sprung out of the hole that had appeared (i was pant less you see). Oh the shame. Never been pant less since.

Pic 4. I need my bed.

Not much of a story behind this picture but i know i was shattered when it was taken. I'd start at 9pm and finish at 5am then carry on partying wherever we could find open. This is the year i came up with some of the Rock themed cocktails you now see on the Oceanic menu. So its a sort of knock on effect, if i hadn't gone to Crete i wouldn't have invented the cocktails and Oceanic may not be here today. Wow, that's too deep thinking for me LOL.

Pic 5. The first Welsh Panda.

I love the film The Crow, So for Halloween i always dress as The Crow but on my first attempt i was going out to impress. Leather rock jeans, check, tight black top, check, black army boots, check, white face paint, check, black eye make up, check. So i was All dressed up and just face make up to do. I asked my partner at the time would she do my face as i wanted it done properly, she said yes, so i gave her a close up face pic of The Crow. She applied the white face paint over all my face and my neck, then she asked me where the black face pen was, with my eyes closed due to the white face paint i pointed to TV unit and said "over there". She starts applying the black face paint to my eyes and lips and after about 30 Min's we're ready to go. A great night was had by all and its time to get cleaned up, i wash my face with water, white starts coming off but black stays firm. I start again and use soap, white all comes off, black fades a tiny bit. I ask her to show me the pen she used. There next to the TV was a black permanent marker. OH MY GOD. Just below the TV next to the video in a small white bag was the black face pen. I looked like a panda for days, i was thinking of changing my name to Ling Ling.

Pic 6. Zakynthos here i come.

This picture is my first taste of Zakynthos. I visited my barman Mark on Zakynthos in 2000 who had worked for me in Crete. He had got a bar in Laganas but needed some help setting up so i booked 6 weeks in Tsilivi, His bar was where G-spot now is but Laganas then was nothing like it is now. As you can see in this picture i look like death warmed up as it was taken about 5.30am and i no longer drink lager. I have a look about me of Kiefer Sutherland when he was in The Lost Boys, he was dead in that wasn't he LOL.

Pic 7. Life begins on Zakynthos

2001 and i have applied for a job as a cocktail barman at Tropicana in Argassi. After running bars in the UK the money i was getting wasn't worth the hassle so i decided to give it all up and move abroad. The job was advertised in the local job centre, i applied and was successful. I went on to run the Tropicana for another 5 years which i hold very good memories of and still feel sad to this day when i go back and see an empty shell of a bar that was the busiest in the resort, again, nothing ever lasts forever. This is me stood on the port in Zakynthos town. It was my first ever picture of my 12 years of being here on the island.

Pic 8. The Boys are back in Town.

I don't have that many pics from the Tropicana but this is one of my favourites with best buddy, sidekick, partner in crime and all round good egg, DEZ! This was taken on my first season and i have to say my best season from anywhere i have ever worked. I've worked on Corfu, Tenerife, Gran Canaria, Ibiza, Crete, Majorca, Benidorm and Kos but nothing will ever come close to Zakynthos 2001. This was the golden year for the whole of the island and the season was just 6 months of non stop laughs. Ive never ever wanted to get in to work so badly than when i did in 2001. Dez was my bar idol, nothing fazed him and everything was taken in his stride with a couple of shots and bottles along the way. He's the only person I've ever met more laid back then me and that's saying something. Dez buddy, see you in December.

So thats it for this update, i promise to get out more and get some pics for the next update. Its now taken me 2 1/2 hours to write this update and its now 6.12am here after having a night where i beat my best ever night for Aug so i'm very tired and need my bed or should i stay awake and go to the pool early, not thinking straight now as head is even more messed up than usual cause of being so tired LOL.

OK, see you next week and remember to pull out all the plugs from wall sockets before you go to bed, apart from your electric bedside clock of course, that would be just silly to do that, how would you know what time it is and get up for work, no, leave that one plugged in LOL