Tuesday 21 August 2012

And we're in to the home stretch, Driving lessons here i come!

Well folks we're coming towards the end of what i call "Awful August" in Kalamaki  as it usually is and almost in the home stretch. To be fair this season Awful August has been more like Amazing August. Its been one of my best Augusts but the nights have been very hit and miss with the drinking times. Some nights empty till late then non stop till early hours other nights ram packed early then steady till early hours. This week not been closing till about 5am. In fact its now 7.15am and closed at 5.45am. I took my bike "Ghost" in to town straight after work ready for its service at 10am. 2 flat tyres, no lights, no brakes but engine was fine all the way there. On the way to town i thought I'd put some air in the tyres so i started to pull in to the petrol station only to be chased back out again by a very angry Rottweiler that i had woke up. You ever tried to outrun an angry dog with 2 flat tyres, lets just say its head got a few kicks and i was close to having brown jeans if you know what i mean LOL.

"Why were you at Oceanic till so late?" i hear you all ask with a child like wonder, well boys and girls, i got in to an in depth discussion about a very serious rock documentary called "Spinal Tap" then it progressed to bands and singers, Chris told me about band called Police...... how do i put this, lets just say the second word is something to do with "Your fathers the milkman or postman, I'm not sure". So i will have a listen to them later, then Sandra told me about an up and coming young singer called Rick Astley that she thought was super dooper and has all his records, i must try to find him on you tube. To be honest every night when we're in Oceanic till the early hours its like a late night drunken version of "Jukebox Jury" we sit there and when a song comes on we usually comment on it like "Crap" or "Brilliant", Micheal Bubble came on (yes i know i spelt it wrong i was meant to) and all 5 of us were violently sick.

The Oceanic this season has become like Wild Kingdom of Kalamaki what with frogs, lizards, cats and dogs all visiting at some point. Few nights ago it was a puppies turn I named him "Rock Pup" he was so cute i was gutted when Helen said i couldn't keep him but she was right. So i fed him, watered him and made him a little bed when i closed the bar so he could stay there till morning as he had stayed in the bar all night while i was open.

Awww Rock Pup, he's buggered off now though LOL.



This winter i am learning to drive. Yes i know I'm 44 this year and should be able to drive but I've always had motorbikes since i was 16 but i decided to take driving lessons after i saw this car in Zakynthos Town, its called a Gwiz or to give it another name a mobility scooter with a shell LOL.
I mean, what the hell is this car. Firstly its a horrible shape, secondly it goes slower than me running to the supermarket and thirdly why the hell would you choose the colours that make it look like a Kinder egg toy. I bet you were thinking i wanted to learn to drive so i could have one of these cars, nope, i want to learn to drive so i can ram a Gwiz off the road.

How did this car even make the journey over here, IT'S A MIRACLE!


My enforcers decided to come and make sure everything was OK with me in Kalamaki. They are both Joy Division fans so they ordered a t-shirt each but both had different lyrics on them, one had "She's Lost Control" the other had "New Dawn Fades". They wanted to have a picture taken with me with all of us in our t-shirts to show them off. I agreed but i insisted they must keep their identities a secret due to them watching over me while I'm on the island. As you can see their biceps are wider than my head but i think you'll agree my arms look the most toned LOL. As someone said "we'd make a good front row".

The enforcers are here, don't mess with the short ass ha ha


Its been a great week with great customers, great friends and even better music but alas the punk music will be put to bed for what is usually a whole year but this time it will only be till October, WAYHAY! And the lovely Helen is out before that so i got 2 months of good cheer to finish the season off along with lots of friends arriving in Sept and Oct.

Well this update hasn't taken so long as i typed some of it yesterday but its now 7.59am and going in to town at 10am so no sleep till this afternoon.

Oh forgot to say one thing, if you are coming to visit Oceanic No, I DON'T HAVE WIFI! Does my bar look that hi tech? I haven't even got a TV aerial or a telephone line. When people ask have i got wifi and i say "no sorry" you would think that by the look on their face that i had just taken their treasured and beloved pet and shot it in front of them LOL. Remember that thing on the front of your face with teeth and a tongue, its called a mouth, try remembering how to socialise without using facebook ha ha. Also whats with restaurants having wifi now, how anti-social is that, usually after a meal you'd have a coffee and chat, now its heads down, fingers out and start swiping in silence. Bad move restaurants, don't like that idea at all.

A picture re-construction of a wifi addict being told " sorry no wifi" LOL

 
So its goodbye from me and goodbye from....... just remembered I've never been in the Two Ronnies, so its just goodbye from me LOL.