At last, i got time to update my blog, Yeehaa!

Now, you all know that i used to live in London and work in Harrods and Selfridges back in 1991 so its no surprise that London is one of my favourite places so that's why i try to go back as often as possible and every time i enjoy it as much as the last. Firstly i went with Helen. I booked a hotel in Covent Garden and had a wonderful view from our hotel room of the Gerkin and St. Pauls Cathedral, we were on the 8th floor. We went for 2 nights and on the first day it was horrible weather, got there at 3pm so we watched Ireland v France 6 nations rugby in the pub then headed off to Chinatown for a proper Chinese meal at New China restaurant, its the best Chinese feast i've ever had with the best service in a Chinese. Stuffed, contented and tired we headed back to the hotel and crashed out. Monday we were up bright, early and refreshed with a lovely sunny day so we headed off to Camden Town so Helen could go to the market. We got there a bit early and a warm drink was needed, off to Starbucks. The market stalls opened and off we went. Its been a while since i had been to Camden Market and had forgot how good it was, loads of retro shops and all sorts of little bizarre stalls and shops, brilliant!

My favourites shop was Cyberdog, This shop was amazing, unfortunately you couldn't take pictures inside but it was like a science fiction film all weird and wonderful designs on clothing, ornaments and decor. Could have spent a fortune in there but i was very reserved with my wallet, NO NOT TIGHT, reserved LOL.

There is so much i could talk about to do with Camden i could go on and on so we'll move on to the afternoon, more retail therapy, for Helen. Walked to Regent Street and Oxford Street, at this point shops were starting to all look the same. Off to the pub for me where i won £10 on a Quiz machine, Mastermind here i come. Now then i thought i was seeing things but all around London they have placed giant Easter eggs, 200 of them, on the streets, in shop windows, in arcades and if your that bored you can try to find them all, no thanks! I must have walked Helen easily about 20 miles, the poor girl was close to dropping. We headed back to the hotel after being out around London for 10 hours. Ahhhh, shoes off, that's a good feeling.

This isn't one of the giant eggs, this is a normal egg, it's just Helen's short LOL

Tuesday morning we had 4 hours to kill so i dragged poor achy Helen down to the Embankment and over to St. Paul's Cathedral, along The Strand and in to Trafalgar Square (sounds like a game of Monopoly) then back to Covent Garden.

Saw a few famous people, Sarah Millican - Comedienne, Robert Glenister - Actor - The Hustle, Simon Lipkin - Actor - Lonny in Rock of Ages and a personal hero of mine Richard Blais from an American cooking reality show called Top Chef. He is the most amazing chef i've seen, he come runner up in his season but then went on to win Best of the Best Top Chef, i was so amazed to see him walk by me i was to afraid to ask for a photo, gutted!

Time to head home but not without my Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, another wonderful weekend in London.

One week later, I'm off to London, AGAIN! This time with my world famous actor nephew Leighton Kyle. Now when i go with Helen its a shopping, famous people spotting and sight seeing trip with my nephew its a large pub crawl. I took him to a few he hadn't been to.

So started off in The Roundhouse where we watched the first half of England v France 6 nations rugby, on to O'neills in Chinatown for the second half, they all seemed to be supporting France in there, wonder why LOL. Game over, England win, just, BOOOOOO!

Now my nephew is a fine actor and loves the books of Sherlock Holmes so where do you think we went next? yep, The Sherlock Holmes Pub where he was like a kid in a candy shop. We discussed the actors who have played Sherlock Holmes over the years and Leighton wouldn't budge on good old Basil Rathbone, me, i like the Mr. Downing Jr version, at this point we rolled up our sleeves, held up our fists and had a gentleman's fight with the landlord as the ref with his big curly moustache. Sorry i was drifting off in to the days of Sherlock Holmes, the last bit didn't really happen haha.

We took a break from the pubs just for a little while and headed over to the Trocedero Centre to have a go in the amusement arcade, It was shut. OFF TO PUB!

Punch & Judy was next on our list as we both visit here on our travels to London as you can watch the street entertainers in Covent Garden from the balcony of the bar, good music, good company, crap street artist. Time for a rock bar.

The Roadhouse (No not the one where Patrick Swayze once worked as a bouncer) Happy Hour on drinks, AT LAST, a drink under £5. We had gone on a night where they had a Bar Flare competition about to start. I must say only 1 out of the 5 barmen from across London was any good. He only dropped 1 bottle and spilt hardly any drink, as for the other 4 if i was their boss they wouldn't have hardly any wages left at the end of the night as they dropped so many bottles & shakers and spilt loads, they were bloody awful. Now forgive me if i'm wrong but when did Justin Bieber become a rock god? The DJ was also shite just for the fact he played Mr. Bieber in a rock bar, he may have thought it was funny, mate trust me, no one was smiling or laughing, god help this poor soul of a crap DJ.

We were starting to flag a bit and also feeling bloated on liquid so we took a walk back to the hotel and went to find another rock bar on the way. From out of the blue came The Intrepid Fox. Wow, this place was hell on earth with rock music, we loved it. Real dark dirty looking place, rock posters everywhere, Gothic decor and very hard rock music, perhaps a little to hard for our liking but we enjoyed it all the same. Shame we found it right at the very end of the night. There was a down point to this bar. The bar staff, i went to ask for a song as the one skinny goth barman was looking through the music on the computer. I placed one foot behind the bar and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, shoved me with both hands in the chest and said "f**k off from behind the bar", i was amazed. I replied "What you say to me?" then the second barman, a short hobbit looking french guy with a face full of piercings did the same, shoved me in the chest and said "f**k off out", I replied with very calm blue verbalige that i was requesting a lovely tune to be played in their establishment, at this point they put away their handbags and returned to the knuckle dragging position LOL. We stayed for another drink after that but i refused to buy a t-shirt from them, their loss.

On the way home we were feeling a bit peckish so we got a large Domino's Pizza each, went back to the room, stuffed them in our now even larger bellies and drifted off in to a loud snore LOL.

The weird and wonderful Intrepid Fox.

Back to home and its official, Helen and i live in the wettest place in the UK, possibly the world. This isn't a water logged field this the river that flows through Carmarthen that broke its banks only just last week. Are you happy down South with your hosepipe ban, we got all your water, for god sake take some of it back and let us have a drought for once.

"Water, Water everywhere, and we're bloody sick of it" LOL

Now i bet you thought i'd forgotten my beloved title winning Welsh Rugby team, Triple Crown winners, RBS 6 nations tournament winners and of course, The Grand Slam. The best welsh side i've seen play since the 70's and the average age of the team is only 25 with most being under 25, the future looks bright for Welsh rugby, Well done our boys!

Well up to date now in all thats gone on over the last 3 weeks. Next update will be from Zakynthos as i arrive there very soon. So until then, look after yourselves and each other. Byyyeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

WALES, WALES, WALES!

Where's your chariots now? LOL Anyway its been way to long since my last update and after a few beers i can't do one now but will definately do one this week. So what delights do you have to look forward to, well, Wales Grand Slam win, me working for a nationwide household store, Helen and i going to London visiting lots of shops and my world famous actor nephew Leighton Kyle and i going to London visiting lots of bars. So i shall keep you all up to date next week.

Wales, Wales, Wales. COME ON!

My monthly rant and the usual stupid stuff!

So its that time of the month, no women not that time, well maybe, as its Kev's rant of the Month.

Rant 1/ I was angered this week by an over weight gentleman from Wales who thought it was unfair that he had to pay for surgery for him to lose weight and not be able to get the operation done on the NHS. Now then, he was 50 stone which is over weight in any ones book, he didn't have a medical problem that caused this weight gain, he actually ate himself up to that weight. So from what i read in the papers and the documentary that i saw its his own fault for eating so much food, in which cause i think the NHS was right to not let him get surgery, he created the problem, he sorts out the problem.

Rant 2/ Whitney Houston, an amazing artist with a truly wonderful voice last real hit 1999. Whitney Houston, Drug abuser, used everything including crack cocaine, overdosed, move on.

Rant 3/ I'm very well mannered and was brought up to respect my elders. I let pensioners on public transport before me even if i was first, i give up my seat for them on public transport and if they have just a handful of items at the checkout desk and i have a trolley i let them go first. NOW, i was in a coffee shop and a elderly lady was getting 2 coffees and 2 cakes, she went to pay with card and was just about to enter the pin when an even older friend joined her and said "I'll pay" so i had to wait for the younger one to take her card back and then the older friend took ages to find her card. At this point she turned to me and said "Sorry about this" to which i replied "That's no problem, I'm not in a rush, your OK, take your time", she then came out with in a serious voice and a face of thunder "Well it shouldn't be a problem, I'm allowed to take my time, I'm old". That was it, my fuse was lit and i was about to go off like a huge firework. I was being genuine and polite as i knew she was over 65 and she then played the age card, AAgggghhh! My mouth opened and it couldn't stop, "Age shouldn't make a difference, my mum is 73 and still very fit and quick. You can be old and still be active so that's no excuse". Did i feel bad, NAH!

And that's my rant of the month!

As you know i have a great hate for Sandals and Socks, WHY? Sandals, Socks and Speedos GOD WHY? But in a place called Tumble thats near where i live (mentioned in previous posts) they now have the winter collection designed by Dai Bumpkin.

Mr Giovanni Carbonara and the summer collection. It seems he's found a new way of cultivating cucumbers


And for you true dedicated followers of fashion to go with your summer look there's now a winter look, shorts and Welly Boots. It was absolutely freezing and raining the day i took this pic.


Whats that i hear, a knock at the door, who could it be? Its Alexander Meerkat. Well what a lovely surprise. He told me he had watched me on Winter Wipeout and said i was crap and thinks i need accident insurance, simplze!

Unfortunately for Alexander i was just about to cook some silverside beef and have never tried meerkat, serves him right for taking the mick out of my Winter Wipeout Qualifier run, lets see how simplze it is for him to get out.

I've had a few Autobiographies for Christmas, so each month i will be giving you my book of the month just in case your looking for that holiday read. This months book is "Happy slapped by a Jellyfish" by Karl Pilkington. Its my read when I'm on the train. The people must think I'm the loony on the train as I've been laughing out loud when reading it.

I know where i used to live Carmarthen is a bit behind the times but i was shocked yesterday when i saw Nazi's walking down the straight. I thought they're either A/ Got a time machine B/ Very stupid or C/ Going to a party held by Prince Harry. Don't worry folks it was none of those as i then saw them goose step in to a theatre and saw a sign above it "The Sound of Music". Phew, they were lucky, the locals were about to get their pitchforks out LOL

OK so I've been asked a few questions about Winter Wipeout so i will now answer them.

1/ What was the hand shaking all about? As you can see from the pic this is the classic world known mime for "The Cocktail shaker" its what most idiots do to represent they are shaking a cocktail but without having an actual cocktail shaker. Its along the lines of the mime for a cup of tea which is an imaginary cup being tipped to your mouth.

2/ Why didn't you lift yourself over the bar you stupid tit? Well, i dodged the first side of the bar and lost balance while i was counting how many was left standing. I forgot the other side of the bar and was off centre when it came round so my feet weren't planted properly to push off, hence the look of fear in my eyes haha.

3/ It looked like it hurt, how hard did it hit you? Well it hit at chest height at a high speed as they can slow down and speed up the arm. As i came round it sped up and hit me in the chest, i held on hoping i could slide over but it got to my gentleman vegetables as you can see from the pic and that was enough for anyone to lose their grip. So yes it did hurt.

4/ Whats with that shocking haircut? If you look at picture 1 i have a little Mohican style haircut and that was at the start of the day. This pic is straight after i had been on Ski Lift with a crash helmet on, hit a numerous amount of times by a speeding red bar and then flung in to the water, how do you expect my hair to look? LOL

So thats the update for this week but i have very exciting news about the Oceanic, i can't show you just yet but there is major building work going on at the bar at the moment and should be finished within the next few days which will also lead to all brand new decor when i get out there at the end of March but the concept is staying exactly the same, No TV's, No Loud Music, No Entertainment, No Stress, No Hassle just a true chill out bar.

So until my next update in a fortnight its Adios Amigos!

So now you Know!

By now you would have all seen me get smashed to bits on The Qualifier and Ski Lift, shame they didn't show a bit more of my Qualifier run but hey-ho. So here is what my Winter Wipeout experience was like.

You already know about Argentina and meeting Liam Gallagher so no need to go over old ground so we take up the story on the Friday morning and our first day of filming on the Winter Wipeout set. We were up at 6am, my roomie Steve and i were pretty well organised and bright as button which is very surprising being as we had all been traveling from Wednesday morning Till Thursday afternoon. If you remember from my Argentina topic the 19 people i met in the restaurant on the Thursday night of course were my fellow contestants.

Myself and Steve headed down to meet the rest John, Jason, Katy, Karen, Owen,Patrick, Rob, Abi, Amber, Nikki, Sarah, Sam, Chanis, Judy, Tristan, Kerry, Emily and Tom at 7.30am to all get on our little mini bus and off to Winter Wipeout land, wayhay, whoopee and all the other excited noises.

We traveled miles through Buenos Aires to get to the location, took about an hour. It was a bit crazy on the roads and we went through all different types of areas, industrial estates, upmarket housing locations and slums. The slums were something else to i can tell you.

We approach the location of Wipeout and just past the guards gate you can see the back of the normal Wipeout Zone and then the butterflies started. WOW, we're really here about to get our bodies and faces smashed for fun LOL.

As we got off you could see everyone wanted to just run off and look around but it was all very strict and well managed, if it hadn't been i would of been on the Big Red Balls all day. We were led to a large marquee where it was like a little holding pen for the day as the first day was just the filming of The Qualifier. Once we were all accounted for we were given our tour of The Qualifier and our first sighting of the legendary Big Red Balls. Now what you see on TV is all nice and pretty but behind the scenes the location is one huge, i mean massive field with all the sections for Winter Wipeout and Total Wipeout. As we were led over for our briefing of The Qualifier all you could see scattered around were all the other bits of the courses that weren't being used for that episode. It was a right old Aladdin's cave of Wipeout mayhem LOL.

We were told what was expected of us from each section The Snow Balls (no ducking), Granny's House (No ducking under doors), The Big Rad Balls (run across travelator) and The Log Jam (jump on one, jump to other, get through hoop) then get to top of finish podium and stand up. All taken in and notes made.

Then we were split up in to 4 groups to do all our stuff to camera, this was so much fun.

My group was the first with Amanda Byram for interviews, OMG! I was so nervous and she was so laid back, real cool chick. I stood next to her and she asked me three questions:-

"What preparation have you had for Winter Wipeout?", my mind went blank, TYPICAL! I came out with "Well being from Wales there are alot of sheep to avoid" DOH! YOU IDIOT!
Second question "I hear you own a cocktail bar in Greece" to which i answered "Yes i do and I've been called the Willy Wonka of the cocktail world", not bad eh!. she added "what makes a successful cocktail for The Qualifier?" (she holds up an imaginary cocktail shaker for me to put ingredients in to) uhhh, "Some spiky hair (pluck some hair drop it in), some wristbands (placed my bandanna wrists on top of it) and the heart and fire of a young welsh dragon (thumping my chest)" she knocks it back and says "mmmmmmmmm".
Third question "Do you think you have a prayer with this course?" TING! light bulb moment, "Well Amanda i am a Reverend" the reply came "So you can bless me?" to which i said yes and placed my hand on her forehead and said "I bless you my child" and pushed her head back not realising i had done it quite hard and she stumbled back a bit LOL. As soon as the cameras stopped filming she said "you didn't have to push me that f**king hard" and started laughing. PHEW! We said our goodbyes and on to the next section.

This part is filmed in front of the log cabin, you stand in front of camera and just act a tit basically, so not hard for me really. From behind the camera they're shouting things like "Roar", "Scream like a girl", "Show us your muscles" then it would be things associated to you like "Make a cocktail", "mosh,head bang" and because in my audition i did a the worm dance move on the floor they had me doing that, time and time again, i was knackered before i got to the course LOL.

The last part was when you see people stood still spinning around and this was the funniest thing. The rotating platform you stand on isn't powered by a motor, it isn't powered by someone on a bicycle and it isn't even powered by someone on a crank handle, its actually spun by an Argentinian laid on his back LOL. I kid you not, below the camera is a guy on his back moving the platform around with his feet and when he gets tired they replace him with a guy who uses his hands, i was rolling with laughter. Also its bloody difficult trying to stay on it and do actions at the same time like before "Shake a cocktail", "Dance", "Hands on hips", Jesus Christ i have problems doing all that on the floor let alone on a rotating platform with a guy lying on his back next to it.

So all the Pre-filming was done. Its Qualifier Time! I was in the first group of 5 to go to the course. The others weren't allowed to watch and we couldn't watch each other. We were led to behind a small hill at the start point and kitted with our body armour/floatation jacket. At this point your hearts racing and i just wanted to laugh hard with nerves. In the first group were Judy, John,Tristan, Abi and Myself. Bugger i had the 3 finalists in my group LOL. Judy was first, then John, then ME AAAAAGGGGHHHH! I was taken to the top of the course and stretched out in front of me was The Qualifier. I'd watched every series of Total Wipeout, laughed till i cried seeing all the contestants get beat up by the course and now i was there, it felt so unreal and i was buzzing, best adrenalin rush ever. I'm told to do my shout out to camera "I'm the rock rev Kev, I'm gonna rock this course and walk on water, hallelujah to the big man", a few seconds pause and the horn goes for me to start my run (Just at this point typing this my heart is pounding out my chest, seriously its like being there again). I had in my head from the beginning "Just hit it hard" that's all that my mind was saying. I start off at a sprint forgetting that i will pick up speed as its down hill, then SMACK! i lose my footing and face plant on the beam, BUGGER! Now yes, i was highly ashamed but it saved me valuable time, cause for each time you go in the water its about 20-30 seconds to get out. I didn't know where the snowballs were then felt one hit me in the face but i was safe. Up for second lot, "Just hit it hard", I went for it, smashed off in to the water, those snowballs are filled with sand and water. When you get hit you don't know where you are when your head pops up from the water, i get my bearings and off up the rope ladder. On to Granny's House, ok again "Just hit it hard" i wait for the gap in the cross beam, the pie misses me, i put my shoulder towards the door, smack, door in the face, in the water. That water is really filthy and full of thick mud below. Up the stairs, wait for Tevez, skip over him, RUN FORREST! smack, second door in the face and back in the water. Now by this point I've been smacked in the head 5 times and in the water 3 times. I got up the ladder out of the water and was really dazed, out of breath and was thinking "this isn't fun anymore" LOL. Up the steps to the travelator, take a breath and try to run but as you get to the edge you can't see the first ball so its all about judgement and luck. I hit the first ball, reach second and , SPLASH! I'm in the water again. The next ladder is the highest on the course and the toughest as your so drained by this point its a real struggle. On to the Log Jam, I jump, they tip the platform, i face plant again on to the log. I hit it so hard i can't even remember the rest of the course apart from hitting my face again on the second log, i was out of it. I can only remember getting out to talk to Amanda. So glad i could watch it on TV as didn't remember any of that part. Now I'm upbeat nearly all the time but when you've just been in and out of freezing cold water 5 times, smashed in the face 7 times and knackered the last thing you want is an interview LOL i couldn't remember what i said to her, Amanda asked me something about what cocktail would the course be and i said "Lime and Cement as its that hard", What the hell was i on about LOL. Everybody says it "I could do that, easy" but everyone who did the Qualifier said "That's harder than it looks". One of my fellow contestants Sam when he finished actually collapsed and was very very bad but after a bit of medical attention and a lay down he was fine. Its the fact that your in shorts, t-shirt, socks and trainers and the water just weighs you down and each blow from the course takes that little bit of air out of you and every ladder takes that little bit of energy. After Amanda's interview you do another interview to camera just in case you haven't made it through as you don't get told your times till its all completed and everyone has done their time. I think Granny's house will take over from the Big Red Balls as being the one to watch, its so funny seeing people get smashed by those doors.

We wait and wait then one of the officials comes in with a clipboard. While we waited they were all telling stories of their runs, i just kept quiet as listening to all the others i was getting nervous that i hadn't qualified as everyone sounded as though they had really fast times. They start to read out the times in order of fastest to slowest, my heart was starting to sink even after the first 2 as they were so quick, then 8th its me, i was amazed, didn't think i was anywhere near that fast 2.52 Min's, not bad being as i was in the water 5 times. So i was through to Ski Lift. The days filming was over and off we went back to the hotel.

My right shoulder started to freeze up, it was getting real sore and i couldn't even move it 1/4 of the way up and i knew the next day i would be hanging from the ski lift, it didn't look good. I hit it hard on the first of Granny's Doors and also when i landed on the first Log Jam. All the others were going out in to town but i had to get my arm better or try, so i stayed in, took painkillers and rested it. Through the night i would move my arm to try and work it better but i was in so much pain i thought that was it, no ski lift.

Woke up the next morning and had a bit more mobility in my arm but again the pain was unreal. Jason gave me some extra strong painkillers and off we went. When we arrived at the Wipeout

set i practiced lifting myself up on a beam, f**k it hurt. I told one of the producers and they said the medics have to check it before they'd allow me on. I sat in an ambulance just praying i could carry on. He gave me another painkiller, one the size of a horse tablet and massaged gel in to the joint, boy that brought tears to my eyes but he gave me the all clear. Thank God!

The Ski Lift doesn't look that big on TV but when your there its massive. We were put in a cherry picker crane 2 at a time and swung out to our platforms that we would stand on for ski lift. Tom was the first on and he had to stand on his while 11 others were placed on their platforms, that's a long time. The handles are set to your height so it was all fair. Each of us had to do another shout out to camera, mine was "TO DEATH OR GLORY!" in a very theatrical way haha. Then once everyone was done the platform starts spinning, you go around a few times to get used to the feel, then the snow starts then the horn goes and the arms start to turn. Those arms can be raised and lowered at will and sped up, slowed down or even stopped at will also. At one point i was coming around and i went to lift myself up over the arm and the arm stopped, so i let myself down, no sooner my feet had hit my platform they started it fast again, GITS! Before we started myself and John came up with a plan that if i was one of the last five left on the ski lift i would let go so i could save my shoulder. After i had seen many bodies hit the water I took a look around, 5 left, i couldn't believe it, i had to double check to make sure, 5 left, that's it, I've made it and before i could even think of letting go, THUD! right in the top of my chest i was hit straight on, there was no way i could pull myself over, i held on until my grip failed and off i went. In my mind i thought i was through anyway but when i got out they said "we have to go to playback" that didn't sound good. It was that close between me and Rob that they didn't know who came off 6th, it was me. OH well. I wasn't disappointed, i was still beaming from ear to ear from doing the ski lift, that was so much fun, worth being on the show just for that. I know i got hit quite a few times and was swinging and spinning all over the place and all your doing is looking for your platform to plant your feet but you forget about the swinging arms, big mistake haha.

After dinner the last contestants, John, Tristan, Abi, Karen and Rob went to film Blunderland. All the other contestants could watch so we all sat there and I'll be very honest, it was just as much fun watching it as it was taking part, it was great. The poor last 5 got battered about all over the place but only 3 go through, Abi, Tristan and John.

We were all taken out for a little trip while the finalists did some filming and got prepared for the Wipeout Zone. That part is filmed at night time so we went out, came back and were allowed to walk around the Wipeout set to take pictures. Darkness fell and it was time for The Wipeout Zone.

As we walked towards it you could see searchlights, dry ice, snow and fire. It was awesome! you could feel the heat from the huge flame throwers as we sat to the side of the Zone. Then one by one they were flung out of the chair in to the freezing cold water. At this point i was quite happy to be sat down watching. I was so exhausted when i did the Qualifier that seeing this Zone i think would have killed me, I'm not that strong a swimmer and the distances they had to swim when they came off, using up so much energy battling the course and then having to climb tall ladders, there is no way i would have finished it, i am fit but not as fit as i thought. John, Tristan and Abi were amazing and myself and all the other contestants were so proud of them.

All day long on the first and second day there was no feeling of it was a competition, well there was maybe one person LOL everyone just got on, encouraged each other, laughed at each other and it felt like cared for each other. I didn't even think of the money from day one, i just wanted to be on the show that i love watching. I feel very honoured just to have even been picked to be on the show. There are over 60 million people in the UK and only 720 have been on Wipeout, only 160 have been on Winter Wipeout, I was proud of myself for even getting just in to the last 200 auditions let alone being in that 160. The memory of Argentina, the contestants and of course Winter Wipeout will be the best memory of my active life and i have got to say a big thank you to all at Endamol the production team who make Wipeout and a huge huge thank you to my fellow contestants for helping me enjoy such a fantastic journey.

If you see any of these 20 people please stay away from them, THEY ARE DANGEROUS!

The final times of The Qualifier, its a miracle, i made it.

Outside Granny's House on Winter Wipeout, she's a real tough bitch LOL

Aww the Big Red Balls are all covered up for bedtime, so here are the Big Black Balls.

The Wipeout Zone from Total Wipeout the first 5 series, Still in use.

And what can i say, she asked, who was i say to say no LOL

Now then i do have to add something here. Not all is as it seems on the show. Every part of the set that moves is controlled by a stunt coordinator. They can raise and lower, open and close, speed up and slow done any thing that you see moving in the whole of the show, its not all randomly timed. Which i guess is a bit unfair as someone can get an easier ride than the next person but if it was all timed then it would always be the fittest that won which isn't great TV, this show is all about having fun while your on it and making fun TV for people to watch. There is also another part you won't see. Sometimes if a body armour pops open, or a mic pack off the helmet is lost or a shoe is lost in the mud they stop the clock and stop the filming. So that means that person gets a rest while they sort everything out, one of the contestants on The Qualifier lost a shoe and he said himself they searched for it for 5 Min's at Granny's House which meant he had a good rest before the Big Red Balls, i think you can guess who it was LOL. But its a fun show and its great TV, one of the best on TV, i've never a watched a show that makes me cry with laughter every time i watch it.

So this is where my story ends but the memories live on, hope you all enjoyed and i'm so sorry i couldn't win it for you all, but i tried my best. On the next update, my audition for Derren Browns "Can i make a thick shit the winner of mastermind" LOL

Happy New Year! Its time to start thinking of season 2012

Well didn't Christmas whizz by, before we all knew it it was over. I remember when i used to buy the Radio Times a fortnight before Christmas and circle all the programmes and films i wanted to watch and that was with only 4 TV channels at the time. These days i was lucky if i could find one programme i wanted to watch over Christmas and that's with over 50 channels. Old repeated movies, programmes being repeated endlessly, one programme was repeated 3 times in one week. No wonder i don't watch much TV, theres nothing on, well apart from Winter Wipeout of course. I think episode 7 will be a good one, 28Th of Jan i think its on but keep watching every Saturday as I'm sure they're all just as good.

So what toys did i find interesting this Christmas at Toys R Us, well there were many but i pity the poor child who woke up with scalextric Velodrome Set. I bet he was cursing Father Christmas, how boring can a toy be. I know its the "Year of the Olympics" (which i think is a total waste of billions when Policing, NHS and Education are being cut and the UK is down the pan) but to bring out a Velodrome Scalextrics set is desperate to say the least. Now the whole point of Scalextrics track sets is you can expand them so its more than just an oval with jumps, bridges, tunnels etc but a Velodrome, Whoopee round and round and round, how dull can a toy be, children i now apologies for your parents for buying you such a crap toy haha.

The most shameless, worst toy ever in the history of crap toys.


On my walks around the store i was spooked the most by the psycho twins. These life like demon children stand at 2.5 ft tall with a stare that puts Charles Manson to shame. Any child who received these i think will have endless sleepless nights wondering when the dolls are going to come to life and drag them in to their wardrobes. Kids if your folks got you these dolls for Christmas i think they've bought them as behaviour training device, "If you don't stop being naughty I'll set the dolls on you!"

If you got these dolls for Christmas kids your in big trouble.

I was shocked to see that a toy company was using me as a cheap version of Barbies Ken. The female dolls name is Steffi and the have brought out her boyfriend "Kevin". I am thinking of suing the company as they have got the doll completely wrong.

1/ Its is dressed far to smart to be me, I've only ever worn a suit for weddings, funerals and court appearances lol

2/ The hair on the doll is far to thick on top and needs to be thinned out to almost bald.

3/ The doll is much taller than i am even though they say it is scaled down.

The Kevin Doll, how dare they!

And i think I'm way over priced lol

So i bet your asking yourself "well come on Kevlar what did you have off Father Christmas that's so good?" Well i got what everyman wishes he could have "POWER TOOLS". I had a cordless screwdriver with built in power cell, a precision jigsaw with lazer guiding and a massive cordless drill with a spare ready to charge battery and a new tool box with various tools. Oh yeah, if changing rooms ever comes back on the goggle box I'm the new Handy Andy, I'm "Katastrophe Kev". I've always said if you got the correct tools you can do any job. So I've thrown out my blunt butter knife and toffee hammer so I'm now available for hire (UK only) in Greece i still have a butter knife and toffee hammer. I also had many autobiographies and clothes for chrimbo so I'm well happy. Next year slippers, smoking jacket and a pipe.

My handy work for you all to gasp at in awe! Roman blinds, curtains and shelves!


New years eve was a pretty dull affair, i was in bed by midnight watching the fireworks in London on TV where myself and Helen were 2 years ago, I'm definitely going to book something for next year but to be honest I'm starting to go off alcohol and seeing the pictures in the papers of all the drunk people laying in the gutters all over the UK on new years eve puts me off going out at all.

So we now look ahead to season 2012, my 12Th year running a bar on Zakynthos and got a few new things planned for 2012 but I'm keeping them all secret as usual. Got to keep the competition guessing but there is going to be changes and more new cocktails that you won't get anywhere else. Still sticking with original spirits and no cheap local brands, also my prices are staying exactly the same as last season, in fact my prices haven't risen since i opened in 2007. The chill out theme is staying the same and again no TV's or entertainment. It should be good!

I have been told that i have to audition for "The Cube", so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I think Helen is trying to turn me in to a game show junky. As long as i don't have to audition for "Fat Club", "10 Years Younger" or "Embarrassing Bodies" i don't mind.

Well that's the update for now and will be doing an update every 2 weeks until i head back to Zakynthos.

I hope 2012 is a good year for you all and hope to see many of you back on the island, roll on 2012, WOOHOO!

Who watched Winter Wipeout, hands up!

Well another update for you lovely people. Nothing about Zakynthos until Jan as i try to give myself a bit of a break from the bar but in the new year its full steam ahead.

Well last Monday i went back in to my 4Th home Simbec. All the staff were as welcoming as ever and we were all getting in to the Christmas spirit. I was in this time last year and we had a carol service planned but due to lack of numbers in the choir it didn't go ahead but this year the event was definitely on. I was hoping to reprise my solo of "Once in royal Davids city" like i did in year 5 of high school haha.

Day 1 was just a pre-medical to check for any traces of drugs or alcohol in the system but due to me being a clean living type of guy it was all clear.

Day 2, tablets taken in the morning with cereal and toast, testing all day, 8 needles, ECG's and Blood Pressure tests. All went smoothly for myself and my 7 other comrades Mike, Bryn, Dyut (spelt wrong I'm sure), Shane, Ash, Nathan and Matt.

Day 3, Had to have a set breakfast of scrambled egg and toast before taking tablets and having blood tests, then something strange happened, 4 of the 8 of us were all sick 45 Min's after breakfast and tablets. I myself was fine. The thing is they administer 6 with the drug and 2 with a placebo but only 4 were ill. The doctor decided the next day to up our breakfast to a high fat one, bluurgh! I hardly ever have fried food so i was dreading it.

Day 4, time for the high fat breakfast, 3 large hash browns, 2 large fried eggs, 2 bacon, 2 toast and large glass of full fat milk. How anyone can eat that on holiday every morning i don't know and why would you want too, it ain't healthy. 45 mins later same reaction with the same 4 guys but this time it was more violent so it wasn't looking good and Matt,Shane, Dyut and Mike weren't sure if to continue.
Later that day the doctor had spoken to the company who were testing the drug and they decided to cancel the testing, BUGGER! We were all being sent home early the next day, day 5 out of 11. I wanted to stay in as Carl Froch was fighting on Sky Saturday night, also 3 good footy games on Sunday including my beloved Liverpool, not got Sky at home LOL. There is an upside to this even though 4 of the guys were ill, we were all sent home with full study payment. Ah well can't be helped, lets hope the 4 who were ill are now OK.

Now then, before i went in to Simbec myself and my nephew the world famous actor Leighton Kyle had V.I.P. passes for Duran Duran and i have to say Simon Le Bon is still the worst front man of any band I've ever seen. He can't dance, got no communication skills with the audience and really is the David Brent of the music world, cringe worthy! In saying all that put him with the other members John Taylor, Roger Taylor and Nick Rhodes and its an awesome gig. Sound was perfect. The same as Adam Ant, no miming of songs all sung live but sounded as good as the CD even though Simon made you want to cover your eyes in shame, in fact at some points myself and Leighton did.

Simon Le Bon now appearing in Karate Kid - The Musical.

Cool hand John!

Help me John, i got the crowd participation skills of a brick!

So, who watched Winter Wipeout this Saturday? Wasn't it a good show. The course looks more difficult than the normal Total Wipeout and that course looked easier than one of the Winter Wipeout courses I've seen. Can't wait to watch the next few episodes, I'm sure we'll all be in for a surprise at some point.

Last night(Sunday 19Th Dec) went to see the second Sherlock Holmes film with Helen, very good indeed. We went to see the first one together and enjoyed that but this film was better again, very difficult to make a better sequel. Before we went to the cinema we decided to go for a drink in Frankie's & Benny's the chain restaurant, very nice is was too but something wound me up like crazy. There were 3 students sat at a eating table 1 guy and 2 girls, we were sat at bar. I couldn't believe the guy had an ipad out flicking his fingers over the screen while using facebook and the 2 girls were on iphones doing the same thing. Ok in a bar, coffee shop, on a train fair enough but in a restaurant while eating aggghhhh! Has society completely lost the art of socializing that now people can't talk to each other when sat next to them that they have to talk to others on facebook? I'm so glad my bar is what it is with no TVs or Wifi, brings back the art of conversation and meeting new people you can actually see in the flesh.

Christmas is almost here folks and i really hope you all have a great day and don't eat to much or have terible hangovers, save that for your holidays in the summer LOL

So from this short ass balding welshman i wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope you get everything you asked Father Christmas for.

London seems so long ago!

So where was i on my last update. Wow 3 weeks ago, I'm so so sorry for being so late, OK got loads to tell you now, let us begin.

Its that time of the year again, Toys R Us, Medical Research, Wet grey weather and the start of our weekends away kicking off with London.

This years medical experiment, i mean research is to do with infections and and a new antibiotic to combat it. Had to spend 5 days in my fourth home Simbec and will be going back in for another 11 days on the 12Th Dec. That means I'll be out just in time for father Christmas to visit me not unless i get snowed in at the research centre. Its snowed every year I've done a study at Simbec and it looks so pretty outside as i look out over the hills from my bed with ECG monitor pads stuck all over me, a thermometer shoved under my tongue and my arm being pumped up for my blood pressure. Every one at Simbec is as happy smiley as ever and really do make you feel at home, the food is also up to its high standard as all my visits before, its the only time i eat 4 times a day. Damn good work out after Christmas to work off all the extra ripples and Moobs that may start appearing after stuffing my face and laying in bed all day.

After my 5 days stay in Simbec i decided to take myself and Helen off to London for a weekend, well 2 nights from Friday to Sunday. We took the train up to save any hassle of driving and to start the weekend off stress free. I had found us a 4* hotel at Heathrow called The Arora and very nice it was to, one down point, they didn't fill the mini bar, good job as i may not of left the room if they had or look at it another way, good job they didn't as i might have had to declare myself bankrupt after i got the bar bill LOL.

The tube only took 40 Min's from hotel to Piccadilly Circus and we got an all day travel ticket for £8 which was good as we could hope on and off the tube whenever we liked but i like to walk everywhere so we didn't use it much.

Got to hotel at around 3pm dropped off our bags and went straight out in to town ready to go and take in a show at the Shaftsbury Theatre. Went for some food first in a restaurant in Leicester Square called "The Mermaids Tail", really nice place and really good food washed down with some rose wine to set us up for the musical. As you know i like my rock music so it was either the musicals We Will Rock You or Rock of Ages. I like Queens music but not a huge fan so we bought tickets for Rock of Ages. Remember an X Factor winner called Shane Ward, he was touted as the next Justin Timberlake by Simon Cowell - Translation- He will drop out of charts after his first album but we'll make money off him. Well, him and the comedian Justin Lee Collins were starring in the musical and I'll be very honest they were brilliant. Full of 80's rock songs, big hair and flamboyant make up, spandextacular. Seen a few shows over the years and this was the best I've seen, very quick paced, very funny and great music. If your going to London and want to take in a show forget Mama Mia, Priscilla, We Will Rock You or the other ones this is a real good show, over 2 hours long and well worth the money. Next year there is a film of the musical being released with Tom Cruise and Alec Baldwin in the Shane Ward and Justin Lee Collins rolls. Shane, forget the charts and stick with this musical, suits you sir LOL.

The show finished at 10.30 and just had time to walk to the Covent Garden to catch the last tube home and a good first night was had by all.

Day 2. Woke up very early to make the most of the day as it was the usual "Shopping Day" for Helen, why do those 2 words strike fear in a mans heart.

Got in to the centre of London and off we went Regent Street, Oxford Street, Carnaby Street, Oxford Circus, Leicester Square, Covent Garden, Tottenham Court Road, Piccadilly Circus, Hyde Park Corner and many others, its starting to sound like a Monopoly board our day out haha. Wanted to go to Camden Market but tube line going to Camden Town was closed so couldn't get there. We visited many shops and an arcade where you could by a pen for £1390, i mean this arcade was so expensive i had to change my shoes just to walk on the red carpet that lined the whole of the arcade it was ridiculous the prices of just basic things.

On our way to find some food we came across a young man painting on a canvas in the middle of a small square in Soho and guess who it was, Noel Fielding from the Mighty Boosh and Never Mind The Buzzcocks fame. If ever his day job went down the pan he would be a great artist. It looked like it was a campaign to get people in to art as there were blank canvases for anyone to have a go. I passed on that as they would sell it on for millions after i had left LOL.

After hours of walking it was food time, Hard Rock Cafe was calling. Got to the Hard Rock and there was a Que. Didn't look like a long wait so we waited in line. Past us walked a guy with 5 others, he was very well dressed with a long coat, he flashed a card and walked straight in. Don't you just hate that. He was given written in to waiting list for a table and they all sat outside. It got to our turn and they said an hours wait, not a problem as we wanted cocktails anyway so we sat at the bar and started to get merry. After 15 Min's we were called to our table which was a surprise as they said an hour. We ordered 2 Cocktails both in glasses you can keep the one was a hurricane and boy it tasted strong, it should do for £11 for one. Helen had a Pulled Pork Roll and i had a Jumbo Combo, OH MY GOD! It was huge. 3 Spring Rolls, 4 Breaded Chicken Fillets, 6 Spicy Chicken Wings, 8 Large Fresh Onion Rings, 4 Filled Potato Skins and salad just to make you feel like its a healthy. I ate everything apart from 2 onion rings, i was stuffed so much. On our way out the well dressed gent that pushed past earlier was just being sat at his table after sitting outside waiting for a table for 6 to become free, he wasn't happy. GOOD! Que jumping stuck up pompus git LOL

The Hurricane Cocktail with the keeper glass.

The Jumbo Combo, not for the faint hearted or skinny minny LOL.

How we made our way back to Piccadilly Circus with or tummies dragging on the floor i don't know, we were so stuffed we decided to go back to the hotel at 7pm as it was uncomfortable walking around with so much food and drink inside us. Bought some chocies and settled in for the night.

Next morning we had a lay in then made our way back to Paddington for the train home but before we got on the train i had to get my fix of a Dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, i am addicted to them. Good job there isn't a Krispy shop on my doorstep, i wouldn't be able to get out of my front door LOL.

London is London, it never really changes, it just gets more expensive so lets look at the prices shall we. The whole weekend for travel, hotel, food and drink cost £640 for 2 days and 2 nights, that's without the shopping we did. Meal for 2 cost from £40 to £68, drinks cost from £3.50 for a basic real ale up to £11 for a cocktail and the scandal of all scandals a can of coke at the hotel was £2.95. But it was all worth as had a brilliant weekend.

Let me see one person moan about the price of drinks, meals or a weeks holiday on Zakynthos on the websites and i will go ballistic, you can get a Hotel with flight, eat and drink out everyday and get shopping for week on the island for the cost of our 2 nights LOL.

Back to the normal life and I've been having a problem with the local pensioners. Now i love the mature generation but where the hell does it say when your over 65 you can do and say as you please. Waiting in a line and its obvious its a que but OH NO, I'm 80 so I'm gonna push to the front and get served first. I've got a hearing aid and I'm 90 so I'm going to be rude to the helpful counter assistant. I'm 100 and i refuse to pay the price it says on the packet, why should I. Now i think I'm very kind to the older generation, i let them in front of me at checkout counters if they only got 1 item, i let them on public transport before me if they have mobility problems, i help them with bags if i see them struggling BUT if they decide to be pushy and demanding then they better prepare for a fight as this dog never lets go of his bone haha.

Just seen in a TV guide that Total Wipeout is back on our screens on BBC1 starting from the 23rd December but its a whole new course, so I'm told. This series is called Winter Wipeout, wonder if we'll see anyone we know on it? We'll just have to watch every episode on a Saturday evening around 6-7pm. They also show a quick shot of it for an advert for their Christmas schedule.

Well thats it for today, got lots more things to write about but need something to do when i'm back in on my medical research so will update from my clinic bed. The next update will include Door Knocking Jahovah Witnesses, Nuclear testing in Tumble, High Winds in South Wales and a night out with Duran Duran.

Goodbye my happy followers, i love you all xxxx