Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Happy New Year! Its time to start thinking of season 2012

Well didn't Christmas whizz by, before we all knew it it was over. I remember when i used to buy the Radio Times a fortnight before Christmas and circle all the programmes and films i wanted to watch and that was with only 4 TV channels at the time. These days i was lucky if i could find one programme i wanted to watch over Christmas and that's with over 50 channels. Old repeated movies, programmes being repeated endlessly, one programme was repeated 3 times in one week. No wonder i don't watch much TV, theres nothing on, well apart from Winter Wipeout of course. I think episode 7 will be a good one, 28Th of Jan i think its on but keep watching every Saturday as I'm sure they're all just as good.

So what toys did i find interesting this Christmas at Toys R Us, well there were many but i pity the poor child who woke up with scalextric Velodrome Set. I bet he was cursing Father Christmas, how boring can a toy be. I know its the "Year of the Olympics" (which i think is a total waste of billions when Policing, NHS and Education are being cut and the UK is down the pan) but to bring out a Velodrome Scalextrics set is desperate to say the least. Now the whole point of Scalextrics track sets is you can expand them so its more than just an oval with jumps, bridges, tunnels etc but a Velodrome, Whoopee round and round and round, how dull can a toy be, children i now apologies for your parents for buying you such a crap toy haha.

The most shameless, worst toy ever in the history of crap toys.

On my walks around the store i was spooked the most by the psycho twins. These life like demon children stand at 2.5 ft tall with a stare that puts Charles Manson to shame. Any child who received these i think will have endless sleepless nights wondering when the dolls are going to come to life and drag them in to their wardrobes. Kids if your folks got you these dolls for Christmas i think they've bought them as behaviour training device, "If you don't stop being naughty I'll set the dolls on you!"

If you got these dolls for Christmas kids your in big trouble.

I was shocked to see that a toy company was using me as a cheap version of Barbies Ken. The female dolls name is Steffi and the have brought out her boyfriend "Kevin". I am thinking of suing the company as they have got the doll completely wrong.

1/ Its is dressed far to smart to be me, I've only ever worn a suit for weddings, funerals and court appearances lol

2/ The hair on the doll is far to thick on top and needs to be thinned out to almost bald.

3/ The doll is much taller than i am even though they say it is scaled down.

The Kevin Doll, how dare they!

And i think I'm way over priced lol

So i bet your asking yourself "well come on Kevlar what did you have off Father Christmas that's so good?" Well i got what everyman wishes he could have "POWER TOOLS". I had a cordless screwdriver with built in power cell, a precision jigsaw with lazer guiding and a massive cordless drill with a spare ready to charge battery and a new tool box with various tools. Oh yeah, if changing rooms ever comes back on the goggle box I'm the new Handy Andy, I'm "Katastrophe Kev". I've always said if you got the correct tools you can do any job. So I've thrown out my blunt butter knife and toffee hammer so I'm now available for hire (UK only) in Greece i still have a butter knife and toffee hammer. I also had many autobiographies and clothes for chrimbo so I'm well happy. Next year slippers, smoking jacket and a pipe.

My handy work for you all to gasp at in awe! Roman blinds, curtains and shelves!

New years eve was a pretty dull affair, i was in bed by midnight watching the fireworks in London on TV where myself and Helen were 2 years ago, I'm definitely going to book something for next year but to be honest I'm starting to go off alcohol and seeing the pictures in the papers of all the drunk people laying in the gutters all over the UK on new years eve puts me off going out at all.

So we now look ahead to season 2012, my 12Th year running a bar on Zakynthos and got a few new things planned for 2012 but I'm keeping them all secret as usual. Got to keep the competition guessing but there is going to be changes and more new cocktails that you won't get anywhere else. Still sticking with original spirits and no cheap local brands, also my prices are staying exactly the same as last season, in fact my prices haven't risen since i opened in 2007. The chill out theme is staying the same and again no TV's or entertainment. It should be good!

I have been told that i have to audition for "The Cube", so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I think Helen is trying to turn me in to a game show junky. As long as i don't have to audition for "Fat Club", "10 Years Younger" or "Embarrassing Bodies" i don't mind.

Well that's the update for now and will be doing an update every 2 weeks until i head back to Zakynthos.

I hope 2012 is a good year for you all and hope to see many of you back on the island, roll on 2012, WOOHOO!

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