Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Royal Wedding, why is everyone going crazy?

Well its almost time for the biggest event of the year, no not the Royal Wedding, my flight to Zakynthos.

But before this mammoth occaision lets talk about this wedding. First of all they say it will cost in the region of £21 million and Mr & Mrs Middleton will be giving £100 thousand. Now hang on there, isn't the father of the bride meant to pay for the wedding? So if Mr. Middleton is giving that feeble sum where is the other £20,900,000 coming from, yes you got it the peoples taxes, thats why they call it "the peoples wedding" cause we're bloody paying for it, so if thats the case i want my piece of cake. Next why is this wedding so special, Wills ain't even the next in line to the throne. Everywhere you turn its a union jack, newspapers, adverts, shop windows, i know what the british flag looks like, show us the royal crest instead, be original for once. Its been rammed down our throats since they announced they were to wed, SO WHAT! The Royals don't really do anything. Someone said to me that "they bring in tourism" so does Alton Towers but we don't have endless coverage when they open a new thrill ride do we. Parliment make all the decisions, there's no more beheadings or invading of countries so what do they actually do? Harry is most probably the most full on royal and has actually invaded a country and if i'm being honest is a better catch than Wills these days, I thought i was losing my hair quickly but that guy is sprinting past me LOL. So i'm quite glad i'm on Zakynthos when its all happening and away from it all, i'll also be steering well clear of anywhere showing it or celebrating it on the island, why would anyone want to watch it anyway, dull, dull, dull. The Royals are as we all know of half German heritage so not even 100% british beef either. Did you know the first tudor King was Welsh. Oh yes he was you know and the Tudor period from 1485 to 1603 is known as the most exciting period in british history and why, because of the Welsh. YACHI DA!

So this friday i had my final Friday night out with my nephew the world famous actor, singer, bass player and Elvis sunglass wearer Leighton Kyle. As usual we started off in our local that had a refurb, now if you like Antiques Roadshow then "The Heath" is for you, while quaffing your ale you can pick up a ming vase and try to date what year it was made, the one Leighton and I were musing over was quite easy to spot as on the bottom was stamped "Barry Island Fun Fair" must have been off a "knock a coconut over" stall. On to a lounge bar called "Buffalo" where cocktails were a snip at £6 each, Golly! Next stop one of our favs "Pen & Wig" always good in there. We were feeling cultured by this point so decided on some live music to sip to. "Live Lounge" we took our seats and the band began to play, unfortunately that bad was the playing, tis crap me lord, the band started with an asthmatic cat version of Stereophonics - "Dakota" followed by my all time favourite band The Beatles - "can't buy me love" we were at the mercy of any muggers in the bar at that point as we became suicidal. By the way i don't really like the beatles i was being sarcastic. Next stop we headed to "The Library" no not a reading one a drinking one where we have our DJ who ends up being our own personal jukebox. After a few in there we stepped up to "Floyds" £8 for a drink, quick exit stage left after one, Leighton got out quicker than me as he's an actor and knows where stage left is, i had to look at my hands and remember which i write with, "Right!" so the other hand must be left. On to our final bar of the night "Revolution" now i forgot to say it was the quietest Friday night i've ever seen in Cardiff City centre but Revolution was the busiest but still quiet. We have a long drink then being as the night was drawing on and needed some excitment we ordered a rack of shots, sweet shop shots, six of them. We didn't know which was which flavour so we played Scissors, paper, stone and who ever won chose which they wanted so a sort of russian roulette with shots. Now if i ever served such crap tasting shot like those i would give up the bar trade, they were the most disgusting things i've ever had in my mouth and i've had lambs testicles in my gob so you can see how bad they were. While partaking in a shot a photographer approached us to take our picture for the Revolution website, with me being a Reverend and Leighton being world famous actor its not a good look for him to be seen with a man of the cloth half cut, Leighton declined but i thought "What the Hell" lets kick the church in to the 21st century with a merry Reverend. After the picture i was informed that the Pope likes a tipple, DAMN THE VATICAN! Off to a trusty steed or a taxi to the normal person and home with a tray of mixed kebab meat and chips with BBQ sauce to eat while watching "American Dad" life doesn't get much better than that.

The Merry Rev Kev. Slight look of Popeye about me but without the muscles, just add pipe LOL.

Time is almost here for me to leave this beautiful sunny country and go to a beautiful sunny country. This year its been harder than ever to leave and as i've said on my blog in the past every year it gets harder and harder to leave as i get more and more settled but the thrill of the bar having a new look and new lease of life is something that i'm really looking forward too, you can't stand still in business, you have to evolve. Got a new look bar, new look menu and new unique cocktails not forgetting some more classic songs you won't hear anywhere else. Got quite a few years in me yet on the island so don't think i'll be leaving anytime soon unless i open another bar on Kefalonia along with Oceanic but again that is in a few years time as got lots of business ideas but just need the time to start them without one overtaking the time of the other.

So for now i'll bid you farewell till i reach the island and will update Sunday on everything from Kalamaki on the first arrivals day, whats open and closed, what the weathers like, what the prices are and whats going on in general.

Tooda-loo folks. "Kevlar is flying tonight on a plane, i can see the red tail lights heading for Zakynthos" Nope, doesn't work LOL.

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