Oceanic's got talent!

Phew, what a scorcher, as The Sun may say. Boy its hot in day and very humid at night, my air con is working overtime, in fact its been working that hard that i think i can actually hear it asking me to leave it turned off just for 5 mins so it can have a rest.

Well it seems this week i have a very very talented bunch of people in. Of course with me being a culture vulture they've come to the right place what with my priceless collection of belly button fluff sculptures and of course not forgetting my own works of abstract art that adorn the walls of Oceanic.

First we have Alan who has very kindly offered to donate quite a few works of his art for me to frame and hang on the ceiling of Oceanic for next season (all being well i'll still have a ceiling next season LOL). He told me to look through his website and choose which ones i wanted and he would gladly give them to me which i find very kind of him. there are some good honest folk out there after all. After looking through Alan's website and me not taking advantage of his generouse offer i've put an order in for 50 pieces of art work LOL. That was a joke by the way but i have asked for a few and if you take a look at Alan's site his art work is amazing and attention to detail is superb, take a look for yourself here's his website:-

http://www.invisibleincdesign.com/

Alan with a piece of commissioned artwork.

Now i remember back when i were a tiny lad (so not much taller than i am now) hearing "White Riot" by The Clash and thinking, that is such a good song. From then on i got myself in to listening to more and more of the bands music, not just the singles but also the album tracks and lets be honest Joe Strummer was a god and great front man. He even has an area at Glastonbury named after him, Strummerville where there is a memorial stone. So it was an honour to have 2 people who are involved with the UK's No1 Clash tribute band drinking in my bar every night, Big Bob (Road Manager/Powerhouse) and Woody (Mick Jones of the band but not as ugly). I'm going to try and see if i can get them in to a few of the bars in Cardiff and Swansea. They have played in these places before but i want them down near me gigging in 2012 so i can go to the gig with the world famous actor Leighton Kyle as he is also a big fan. Take a look at their website, have a look at the tour dates and see if there's one near you and try to get along to see the boys, you won't be disappointed if you like The Clash.

http://www.rebeltruce.com/

Big Bob and Woody, nice to see Big Bob awake in this pic as its 4am LOL

So August is half way through and boy what a crazy one, never known a August so busy for me. The only problem i have is that the ice don't last long is this heat and i can't get the drinks out quick enough, maybe time to train up a young Jedi in the ways of the order of the Oceanic Knights. Ok just read that back and it sounds like the working mens club by a famous Mr. Peter Kay. "Eyes down, get your dibbers and your dabbers, its bingo time at Oceanic Knights" LOL Never will bingo be played within the sacred grounds of the Oceanic, Connect 4 yes, Bingo NO, NO, NO!

At the Moment in the bar i am holding the Connect 4 World/Leeds Championships. First round got underway yesterday and the odds on favourite Callum fell at the first hurdle but there are 2 front runners now, Alison and Cogger (think i spelt that right) William Hill have stopped the betting on Cogger and there may be a stewards enquiry in to match fixing with the player as there has been some heavy betting on the world ranked No.3 Cogger after the world No.2 russian Champion whodienickerbollockoff and the World No.1 from America, Micky "The Mcdonalds Muncher" Murphy. I'll give you the outcome of this major sporting event on the next update, its tense folks i can tell you.

There are many other things i have to tell you but to be honest its lovely outside and i'm sat on a sofa, indoors writing this so i think its time to say to you, i'm going to bugger off now and will write a bit more next week when the lovely Helen returns and after St. Dionysios day on the 24th. So excited that Helens here soon, been ages and my dishes are pilling up in sink LOL.

A useful update fact for you :- Did you know that if you hold tin foil to the back of your mobile phone it will pick up wifi internet connections much stronger from a further distance away. Don't tell anyone i told you this ok.

Total Wipeout update:- Not been sent the details of my full audition yet just been given the day and thank you to all the support i've been getting via Oceanic Chill Out Bar facebook wall that Helen has told me about and from my customers in the bar.

See ya later alligators, whoop whoop, i'm gone!

Who ate all the pies? This fat git!

Has a week gone by already, time is flying now and soon i'll be back in good old blighty watching cities burn, shop windows get smashed and rain, rain and oh yes more rain. Aren't you just proud to be british, a nation of great weather and friendly people all happy to just get along and help each other, thats if getting a 42" tv out of currys shop window is involved LOL.

Well lets start with some very exciting news, if you remember back in March or April i applied to be on the game show "Total Wipeout" well guess what, after 4 months of waiting i have got through to the auditions to be on the show. The e-mail was recieved yesterday. Woohoo. This is part of what the e-mail said "Only a select few out of the thousands of applications have been invited for an audition, congratulations because your one of them" OH MY GOD, im one of them, can you believe it. A once in a lifetime chance to have a go at the Eliminator and the "Big Red Balls" but there is a down side to this, the audition is Sept 9th in Cardiff. I don't believe it, as Victor Meldrew would say haha. I will have to close the bar for 3 nights and fly back Thur to Sun. I will never get this opportunity again, i could apply again another year but who would say that i will be successful the next time, i so want to do the audition and hopefully be accepted for the show. Also its filmed in Argentina, AREEBA AREEBA, i know thats more to do with Mexico but what do the Argentinians say when excited? Are you behind me folks? Answers on a postcard or on the Oceanic chill out bar facebook wall.

This could be me flying through the air gracefully then finishing with a big fat splash!

So i've got pretty fed up with white pudding now but still munching my way through it, 5 left to go. So i decided to get some good old stodge, pies, pasties, sausages and fish cakes. I went to one of the large supermarkets out of town and bought 4 chicken and veg pies, 4 cod cakes, 2 cornish pasties, a steak and kidney pudding and a bag of 8 pork sausages. I'm not proud of myself to tell you this but i ate all of them in 2 days, well except 4 sausages which are still in the freezer. So i will now review the food. First the cornish pasties, as you can see from the picture the name of the brand is "Shire Famous Pies"? Yep i've never heard of them either. So of course i was expecting them to be more "Shite Famous Pies" but i was very surprised they were lovely, filled well, good meat and nice tasting veg.

The Cod Cakes, well they were made by "Youngs" so of course they were great. The Chicken & Veg pies this time Birds Eye, they were ok, shallow filling, processed chicken and mainly gravy, poor. Now then, the steak & kidney pudding by "The Great British Pudding Company" again, WHO? The box said on it "Made with the finest cuts of meat", finest cuts of meat for who, Lassie! I cut it open like the picture on the box, looked promising, good pastry, filled well. Then the taste, what the hell kind of meat are they using, the last time i smelt and saw meat that looked like that it was in Petras dog bowl (Petra being my mums dog of course) and even she turned her nose up at it. As you can see from the box its £1.89, to be honest i doubt these are even sold in the UK and are sold to foreign countries for idiot brits like me to buy and it cost me 4.25€, bloody hell all that white pudding must have made me desperate for me to pay that much LOL.

Well its summertime again in the UK so the usuall heavy rain and flood warnings but the thing i miss the most is all the good bands that play in the summer at stadium concerts and festivals but this year on the island we have something even better, the greek version of the Chuckle Brothers, "Pros Aemaena Pros Aesaena", (thats "to me, to you" in greek so i've been told LOL)

The Chuckelos Brothers!

Talking of things that make you chuckle, well it made me laugh with sarcasm, what has happened with the british charts, Cher "x factor loser" Lloyd is at number 1. Now i hadn't heard the song till just now but isnt the chorus "Oh my darling Clementine"?, talk about major rip off. No wonder the music industry is in a state with crap like that getting to number 1.

The bar is doing amazing but the nights are very weird. Since the 1st Aug including last night i've been packed out at some point having to put chain across, Maybe not for long but still packed out. Which is good but also not so good as customers are being turned away but i can't fit in any more than the floor space allows but the drinking habits are strange. One minute i'm there chatting with just maybe 2 tables of customers thinking its going to be a quiet night then, boom! About 9.30-10pm the bar packs out then all gone again by 11.30am and closing by 2am. Now for me thats fine, i'm hitting 2-3 times my target in a short space of time and getting to close early which in this heat is a god send as i'm just drained all the time. At the moment i'm ahead of my best month ever but i never take anything for granted it can all change within a matter of 1 day but i've paid up full the rent on the bar and the apartment for the season so from here on in it should be stress free, famous last words haha!

Around the resort its starting to get quieter now so i'm told but on the old road as the people are walking past my bar i hear hardly any british voices these days, all eastern european, greek and italian. Where as before Kalamaki was maybe 80% british i would definately say its now only 50%. My thoughts are its down to the UK tour companies squeezing the hoteliers profit margins so the hoteliers go with foreign tour companies who pay more per room. Don't blame them to be honest they need to make a living.

Well my ramblings are coming to an end and the X Box is calling, i'm now middleweight champion of the world on Fight Night, "floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, i am the greatest", "touch gloves and lets get it on" i'm out of here folks.

Taxi strikes, grannies buried in sand and other random ramblings on!

Well another week passes and another truely thrilling enjoyable update for you all to read LOL

So lets see, ah yes, well, i'm now on my fourth stick of white pudding, please for god sake someone take at least one off my hands. If your self catering and want to eat for a week without buying any food then you can have one of my white puddings.

So from Monday 25/7 till sun 31/7 its was such a quiet week, quieter than ive ever been in July but due to the great first 3 weeks i beat my best July, so now thats May, June and July have all beat previous records. August has also started off really well getting quite a few before dinner drinkers in now, then a very quiet period from about 9.30 till 11.30 but open till 4am also the first 3 days of Aug at some point during the night i've had a lock out (bar full, chain across) so its looking good but in this heat its exhausting doing everything myself with a full bar but again that isnt a complaint just stating a fact.

The taxi strike is now in to its 12th day i believe, there so many people asking questions about it on websites that i'm trying to keep them updated every day by going and talking to the taxi drivers on the picket line but there might be light at the end of the tunnel this saturday 6/8 so i've been told so fingers crossed.

Now, i've been here 11 years now and i understand the greek way of life, if someone says will meet you in an hour add 2, if someone says it will be ready in 2 days give 5 but i put my motorbike in with my mechanic to have its new petrol tank mounted and a general service last Thursday, he said 2 days, i told him i'd give him 5, i went back after 6 days and bike hasn't been touched aaaaggghhhhh! After walking in to Zakynthos town from Kalamaki only to find out i'd be walking back again, lets just say i was a tad angry but good for weight loss walking that distance in this heat, although my nose is now more red than Sir Alex Fergusons. Then i order a take away tuna pasta salad without onion only to find out when i get home it was a chicken salad with a ton of onions, GGGggrrrrrrr! Could anything else go wrong, yes it could, i ripped my trainer on a nail in the bar, bugger! But there was a highlight i found a new refreshing drink, Bacardi and lemon ice tea mmmmmmm!

As you know my lovely blog followers when it gets a bit quieter later on in the early hours of the morning i may sit with a few of my customers and have a chat. so a few mornings ago i was sat with Paul and Lynn and they told me of where they once stayed in Spain i think it was, a family used to bury their good old grannie in the ground up to her neck in sand, there was a sand pit at the apartments especially for her to buried in every day and left for a few hours with a hat on and the daughter would fan her every now and again. I thought it was some new found method of making your vegetables grow quicker, bury gran next to the vegetable patch in sand but no, its meant to be good for arthritis. One safety aspect i think i should point out here, don't bury granny near the sea, its hard to tread water with just your ears.

On a completely different subject did you know sheep have their legs on one side of their bodies shorter than the other for when they stand on the sides of hills and mountains. Good fact.

I've come up with 2 more new cocktails, not dessert ones but they seem to be popular so i'll add them to the menu today, one is Ouzo based as you don't find many cocktails with Ouzo in.

Helen has just about finished the new house, builders have to come in and complete the snagging list but apart from that its all done. She has been working so so hard on getting it all sorted while i've been out here in the sun so i do feel very guilty about it as she has enough to do what with her hectic work schedule and of course making sure her mum is ok after her treatment for her throat cancer. Really excited about going home and stepping in to the new house, told Helen i don't want to see pictures, want to see it first hand, maybe Carol Smiley can be there to cover my eyes, walk me in and say "open your eyes and take a look" like on changing rooms all those years ago, why did that show finish LOL.

Stand and Deliver, i'm the dandy highwayman. Well no i'm not but i will be going to see the legend that is Adam Ant in November thanks to my world famous actor nephew Leighton Kyle who got us the tickets, then in December he's got us VIP guest list passes to Duran Duran, OH MY GOOD GOD, i will be drinking with the god of crap dance moves Simon Le Bon, Leighton, i salute you sir.

So as you can see not much been going on, italians and greeks who are visiting the island are doing my nut in with the quad bikes and thats why i don't go out much on my bikes at this time of season, roll on sept to get back out on the roads and get up for my weekly ice cream fix at Redskins with John and Sue. I'm having cold turkey due to the withdrawl of no toffe and malibu ice cream, i don 't mean i'm literaly having cold turkey, its just a saying haha.

Still No.1 on Tripadvisor, for now, but again its all a matter of luck as far as i'm concerned.

That musics lost its taste so try another flavour.

Its cloudy, thats it, everyone start moaning LOL

Well being as its a cloudy day today i've decided to do my update as i've been doing alot of thinking. Not in the way that Einstein or Stephen Hawking may think, not in the way Lord Alan Sugar may think, not even in the way Winnie the Pooh may think more along the lines of "How come belly button fluff is always a shade of grey but i've been wearing a red top", you can see how deep i think can't you.

I know exactly what questions i'm going to be asked in the bar tonight as its been cloudy, " Do you usually get clouds this time of year?", "Is it going to rain?" and "Do you know if its going to be cloudy tomorrow?" Do i look like Micheal Fish or John Kettley LOL.

Not much to report on the bar front, had 3 more lock out nights Friday, Sunday and Yesterday so its all Gravy! Banoffee Pie cocktail is selling through the roof just a shame its the longest cocktail to prepare and a bloody nightmare when 3 tables order it at the same time, wish i was an octopuss, with hands of course, tentacles in a bar situation, good or a bad thing? let me sleep on that one.

Chocolates, now i love a bit of chocolate but i was thinking the other day (heres where my thinking started) are the bars of chocolate being made smaller these days or is it cause i've grown? Ok granted i haven't grown much but i have grown. I can remember as if it was only yesterday i would sit in a restaurant for food and my feet would swing back and forth while i sat on the seat as my feet couldn't touch the floor. Hang on that was yesterday. Anyway as i was saying, i started thinking about the size of chocolate bars as someone asked me to make a curly wurly cocktail, that was easy but didn't they used to be the size of small ladder and now their the size of a large Snickers (formally known as Marathon) Can you still get Walnut Whips? If you bring me one over milk chocolate ones prefered LOL.

Taxis are still on strike, 5 days now but i really don't blame them, thousands of drivers made investments in their cars and licencenses from 150,000 to 200,00€ and then the gouverment then say you can get a licence for 2-3000€ leaving all those drivers who thought they were buying investments for the future with nothing, ridiculous! The tour companies are having a field day selling off their empty seats on coaches for 15€ one way per person, nothing like a tour company to prey on peoples misery to make a fat profit is there.

18-30's are starting to thin out now it seems but they did stay here 2 weeks longer than normal so lets hope it doesn't extend anymore over the years would hate to see this resort turn in to a mini Laganas which i'm sure it won't as its not really set up for that with so many restaurants and very few bars.

I have now eaten 2 baseball bats of white pudding and starting on a third. There are only so many things you can make with white pudding, had it with gravy, with boiled egg in sandwiches, with beans, on its own, eaten it cold uncooked, had it with tuna, basically with everything i have in my fridge and cupboard, by the time this seasons over i'll be having nightmares about white pudding. If ever there is a Masterchef series that wants cooks with specialized food, i'll be the man for white pudding haha!

This season is almost half way through and its been an amazing one already, ok very tough going and feel really drained what with it being manic this season as its only me that works the bar but still enjoyed it as met lots of new people and all have been wonderful, also its great to welcome back old friends and customers who have returned after a few years away. Many this year have come in due to this blog which i'm flattered by as if you've read my dribbling loon rambles and still want to drink in Oceanic then your a braver person than me LOL.

I have been approached by a well known director in hollywood to make a film of my life on Zakynthos based on the autobiography i'm writting called "A simple mans life". Well, i didn't know what to say, so we got down to some negotiations. First of all i wanted all brand rights to my catchphrases for T-shirts such as the classic from the Tropicana Centre when i did Quizgo which was a quiz with bingo mixed and my catchphrase was "Who wants to jiggle my balls?" meaning the bingo balls in the bag. They agreed. Then i wanted a life time supply of Frosted Shreddies (The King of Cereals). They agreed. But then we came upon a stumbling block, who would play me. They wanted Ewan Mcgregor but i wasn't going to budge on my choice, Ronnie Corbett. They said no. They were sticking with Ewan, i didn't care how many millions they were offering me its Ronnie Corbett or the deals off. The deals off. So i'm now in talks with Bidup TV to release it straight to DVD with total selling rights for the channel.

Sad news about Amy Winehouse this week but its not as if anyone could say "Didn't see that coming!" I prefered her when she won the Mercury music prize in 2004 but drugs and drink will get you in the end.

Been asked by many customers this year for CD's of the music i play in the bar which is great as it shows i'm playing the right type of music if they want copies of it. I don't sell it to them i'm happy to just give them a copy if its making them happy then i'm happy and whats a blank cd cost 50c if that, so its no big deal. Just have to remember to take out Rage Against the Machine - "Killing in the name" don't think the age group of my customers want to listen to the F word repeated over and over on sunday morning while having breakfast LOL.

Well time to clip my toenails, trim my thinning hair and have a soak in the tub, hope you enjoyed my little update i may start to do them as audio update as well for the visually impared like myself as my eyes are getting so bad i'm actually typing this via an old speak and spell toy with the voice of Stephen Hawking (not to be mixed up with Justin Hawking from the rock band The Darkness) or did Stephen Hawking steal the voice from the speak and spell? See i'm thinking again LOL.

Its too bloody hot!

Well its come to that time of the season again where everybody starts to moan that its to bloody hot even the locals, so what chance does a short ass welshman have when all he's used to is rain, wind, snow and more rain. Some tourists are being told that the temp is around 55 deg c. What? I think if that was the case nobody would be on the beach or by the pool as we'd all be at Zakynthos hospital having our 3rd degree burns seen too LOL The actual temp at the moment is between 34-38 deg. I'm so happy i got air con but there is a draw back to this, i never want to leave my apartment these days.

Business is doing splendidly thank you very much, a bit quiet but still up on the past 4 years for July so not complaining at all, in fact this week had another shut out where i couldn't fit any more chairs on the floor space i have so had to put my chain across as the bar was full. Now i get that quite a few times in May, June, Sept and Oct but never in July. Sometimes though i do wish i could skip July & August as they are my quietests months and in this heat it gets quite draining, also the dreaded 18-30's are still here. Now i was 18-30 once not so long ago (don't any of you laugh) but i'm quite sure that me and my friends when we went on holiday didn't behave anything like what i see in Kalamaki. This season there seems to be alot more than usual. We usually have a 3 week period then they are gone but this year its already been 5 weeks and no sign of them going, is Kalamaki now slowly becoming the new Laganas, lets hope not.

With the huge black pudding that Lee and Emma brought over gone i was in need of another shipment from the UK but none coming over at the moment, so my good friend Thassos told me i could buy a box of white pudding off him. Now white pudding is even better than black pudding so without any hesitation i paid my 47€ and collected my box of white pudding. Now i wasn't sure what size they were going to be and Thassos didn't explain either but when i got the box, OH MY GOD! So as i did with the black pudding i've taken a picture to show you the size of the white pudding.
First we start with a cotton bud, then we move on to a pen, next follows a bottle of wine and finally the white pudding the size of a major league baseball bat.
What the hell am i meant to do with 10 baseball bats of white pudding? ok i've eaten one already, my home freezer compartment on my fridge won't even fit them in cut in half so had to store them in my chest freezer in bar. Maybe i should do a special offer "Spend 50€ on drinks and get a free white pudding baseball bat". Please people if anyone is coming over and thinking of bringing me white pudding, DON'T! Its got a shelf life till 04/12 so i may be having it with christmas turkey at this rate LOL.
Also i have found every lasting bread, its called American Sandwich loaf from lidl but also sold in the resort supermarkets, its brown bread. When you buy it its hard and to be honest horrible, feels stale but as time goes on, 2 weeks in fact, the bread got better. It becomes moist and tastier, how does that work? haha

My table almost collapsed with the weight of the white pudding.


Still working on my motorbike but just way to hot to be fixing a bike up in the sun so its taking longer than i thought but i'll get there, one day.

Been a bit slow putting the pics of my regulars on the website but all up to date as from today.

I will be so glad when Sept comes so i can get back out on my bike around the island and off to pool and beaches. The Italians and Greeks have hit the island now till end of August so the roads are chaos so i tend not to go to far unless i really have to as they all come over on the ferries with their cars and motorbikes causing mayhem on the roads.

So thats it for this week. Oh forgot to say watched the last Harry Potter film and what a sad ending fancy Harry and Ron being killed, but it was for a good cause to save Hogwarts, oops did i give the plot away there LOL.

Its getting crazy here!

Well after Helens 2 weeks i was then visited by the now world famous actor Leighton Kyle or to the people that know him, my nephew. He flew in on the flight Helen went home on. It was nice to see him as he's my drinking buddy when back in UK also he came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and rock t-shirts. Ok i lied about the first 2. The week was good, although John didnt get to join us which is a shame as he hasnt left my bar in 5 years and needed to top up his tan, he just sits on my shelf but he seems happy enough. To be honest between me having to do things for bar and Leighton doing an impression of a quilt we didnt see a great deal of each other but its always good to see him, thats when he's not asleep or out on the pop LOL. We did go to Plubis pool a few times, had afternoon coffees and took him for the best ice cream ever at Redskins in old Alykanas. But we did have the greatest feast a man could ever have while he was here "A Big Boys take away", for those of you who don't know Big Boys is a fast food business on Zakynthos and you can only find it in Zakynthos Town and in Laganas. Shame about the name though sounds awful when you say "I'm nipping out for a Big Boys". My feast as usual was a Big Boys Special burger, Gyros Pita, Garlic fries, Cheesey Fries and a Chef Salad just to make me feel good and all that was just for me. I think inside this skinny frame of mine there is a fat person waiting to break out LOL.

Its been an eventful week what with my nephew being here and Thursday having a few words with a certain business only to be told that on Friday the big boss wanted words with me. So as i always do when i have a problem with someone i went to see them and was basically shouted at for 10 mins while i stayed calm. Now if someone doesn't want to listen then i won't waste my time talking as its not worth it, so i just walked out.

Its also been brought to my attention that a boy is being brave enough to sit behind his keyboard having a dig at me and make themselves out to be some sort of peoples hero with childish words on facebook (you never know who may be in your friends list, can you trust them? haha) Grow up, grow a pair and get from behind your laptop. The funniest part is he doesn't even own a business or work on the island, has never visited Oceanic and has been fixated with my bar for 5 years now, now that is creepy. As the song goes "People are strange" LOL.

Now what else has been going on LOL to be honest not a great deal out here but i am very disappointed in Lee of the huge black pudding fame, Lee i read your review but you failed to mention about the "Name that tune" early morning we had in Oceanic, tut tut young man haha.

Had my new air brushed parts for my motorbike sent over from UK and bike is looking good but it needs a few adjustments but nothing major and seat is in being re-covered so hopefully by weekend it will be on the road and cruising.

The bar is still going really well, had a slight blip when it went really quiet for a few days but now we have the 18-30's in Kalamaki for their usual 3 week period after 6th form finishes which doesn't help restaurants or a few of the more laid back bars as all they do is drink in apt then taxi to Laganas but they will filter out soon, its the same every season so i'm used to it. By the way they don't step near my bar thank god. My landlord of my apt owns a Jewelry shop in Laganas and the 18-30's go in to him with pennies and pound coins trying to exchange them to euro as they have that little money, of course his answer is a polite no LOL.

So thats the update for this week, short i know but its an update none the less. Time to get from behind this keyboard, i do have a life you know haha.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

It's been a while but here it is folks, update time!

Well its been over 2 weeks since my last update but that can't be helped, the lovely Helen was here so it was HOLIDAY TIME!

Was so good to have Helen back here. Its a very tough time at the moment for us what with me being out here and Helen being in the UK and thats just the least of the worries, our house is ready to move in to and Helen has to do it all alone which is bad on my part as i should be there to help her but the bar has been going so good if i had closed it to go home for a few days it could ruin the good start i've had but i know in my mind i really should be in the UK but i worry for my business also as the seasons are getting harder as the bad economy continues so to be having a great season in bad times its difficult to close, my heart is caring but my head is to business minded. But the most importnat thing is Helen has to deal with her mother being ill in hospital and i feel so helpless here when she needs my support in this very difficult time for her mum and her family, i can only imagine the distress and pain they are all going through.

So on to our holiday, well where didnt we go, here, there and everywhere. In fact we did so much i've forgotten half of it but i will give you the highlights. We have been to the little villages of Loucha and Yiri(Giri) quite a few times on my own so decided to show Helen these beautiful places. Now when i first went there it was like "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" as i drove through this tiny village of cobbled streets doors would open then quickly shut again like when Clint Eastwood rode through that town in Mexico on his mule, i checked my phone, no signal, AAAGGGH! I'm going to be killed and no one will know where i am as i haven't told anyone. I had a vision of me being shot by a moustached guy and left for dead on the streets.

But in fact after taking Helen there its a really friendly place, well it looks it now and only saw one person who was the taverna owner and he looked like the sales assistant out of Mr. Ben but without the Feze hat, why was that sales assistant wearing a feze? So we decided to order some lunch, i had the roast chicken as they didnt have the roast lamb and Helen had Beef in a tomatoe sauce and to go along with my main meal i ordered some Saganaki (fried cheese) plus 2 soft drinks, don't drink and drive kids its not big and its not clever. Out comes the mains, portions very small but no sign of my starter, never mind i'm sure it will arrive soon, Helens meal was so good and mine started off well, nice hot chicken, oh now its cold, ah now its frozen, only the top layer of meat was cooked, GREAT! Saganaki come after my main but at least that tasted good, time for the bill as no prices on blackboard menu, 26€. At that time when i read the bill he may as well shot me and left me for dead as it felt like i'd been robbed LOL.

The taverna where Mr. Bens sales assitant works in Yiri during the summer.

On another one of our tours we went to Exa Hora where the oldest olive tree is and then ate at the Grill Taverna at St. Nicholas Port where this time i had Octopuss on the grill and boy did i get large tentacles, i said TENTACLES, its the mind it goes in to LOL. They were so good, really soft and not chewy and the grill smoked flavour just made them heaven.

I had already eaten some by the time i took the pic.

Now where else, wish Helen was here to remind me, minds going you see, old age. Oh yes went to Paradosiako Taverna in Alykes and that was beautiful food with a nice location and good prices better than the robbing git in Yiri but we did order Courgette Balls starter and out come village sausage and i'm glad it did as never had them cooked the way they did in a lemon oil sauce mmmmmm. Drove on through to Alykanas where we stopped off at our good Friends Redskins (John & Sue) and once again busy in there and still the best ice cream i've ever tasted and i've tasted it in Italy home of ice cream, and even if i do say so myself Malibu and Toffee ice cream really do compliment each other the best out of all combinations i've tried. In fact i'm inspired so much by Redskins i'm now making ice cream, well, sort of, well not really, its just i put a milky cocktail in the freezer to chill and it set solid so quick and its still there 3 weeks on, so for one lucky person you could be the proud owner of Oceanics one and only ice cream. After this i decided to go to a pool that every year i drive past it no one is using it, the pool empty, the bar empty, the sunbeds empty but the pool looks so good so stopped there, this is called "Tonia" pool on the road from Tsilivi to Alykanas along the coast and i mean its right on the main road, any closer and you'd be aquaplaining over it.

Thats just a few of the things we did but the other things we do every time Helens here so they were the new places i took Helen.

The season went a bit strange from Tuesday last week all of a sudden the bar and the main road just went very quiet, quietest my bars been at that time of season, bar was still hitting well past target but nothing like i had been, it was all or nothing, one minute packed, next minute empty where as usually its a constant flow of customers. Now in saying that 30 over my customers went home within 2 change over days (thur/fri) thats 3/4 of my bar but back on track last night. As in past blog posts over the years July and August are my quietest months, strange with it being high season but always has been that way, some nights i can be sat alone with my book till 10.30pm and not had one customer in but at least im prepared for this as its been the same for the past 4 years now.

Well another week and another black pudding delivery this time from Lee and Emma. Now i love black or white pudding but when i saw the size of these slices i thought i'd gone to black pudding heaven. I mean huge. I couldn't explain it so i had to show it in perspective. So below is a picture using fruit to show giganticness (not sure thats a real word) of the black pudding i've been eating. First we have an Apricot leading to a peach going on to an Apple finishing with a "Cor' Blimey Gouvner" slice of pudding.

How am i meant to fit that in a muffin or on a crumpet LOL

Well the day has come, i have been Voted No.1 business on Tripadvisor for the island of Zakynthos. I haven't just written it on a blackboard or had it put on a sign, its there in Green & White for everyone to see LOL. Ok time to get real, yes i'm very honoured by it and flattered but i can be honest enough to say that i know my business isn't the best on the island its just the luck of the reviews and votes. I just do what i do and if the people like it thats great, if they don't there are plenty of other places for them. I'll name a few bars much more superior and better than mine, Porta Cali in Argassi, Island Club at Vassilikos, Ammos Beach Bar at St. Nicholas beach, Cave Bar in Kalamaki for its location and surroundings and Rock Cafe in Keri to name but a few. I don't think you'll find any other business owner saying they aren't the best or naming another business in the same resort as them, some even say they have been voted "No.1" but don't say where, i've never seen a vote anywhere. Also i know my bar is nothing special but what you do get is the real deal spirits in every drink and cocktail, at great prices on all drinks and cocktails no other bar has got with relaxed surroundings and chilled out music so you don't have to shout or have any distractions from TV's or entertainment. I'm sure i won't be No.1 for long anyway, i can see a wave of reviews coming LOL.

The proof is in the picture LOL

So update done and now time to add pics to my website, sorry for the delay in picture updates on website but time with Helen while she was here had to come first but take a look and see if your on there.

Tatty bye everybody, tatty bye.