I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!!

 Good morning from my mid morning coffee break coming at you live from Drunk Corner.

I still haven't had any adventures at all, its just way to hot. I try to get out on my bike by 8am but by time i finished my chores and running around for bar its midday and riding in that heat is draining.
I so want to get out and about, also having a lovely home i just want to sit indoors in the cool and enjoy my display cabinet.

Yes i have created a monster. After posting a picture on here with my gift from the Taggs in the beautiful display cabinet my landlord left for me one night while in work my friends/customers/now enemies have been adding to my collection.
It wasn't a plea for help to fill it. I am more than capable of filling the display cabinet with tat, sorry, expensive ornaments myself. I have a fine collection of minions, i have a rare collection of blunt knives from the Chinese shop here and lets not forget my unique collection of toenail clippings in the shape of aquatic sea life.
Here for your viewing pleasure is my display cabinet  in all its glory full to the brim and no more objects are needed now, my duster is constantly coming out of the cupboard to clean them all. In fact there are now so many items it has taken over most of my day.

So to start here is the little trinket that started the craze which has become bigger than Pokemon Go.
Its the Taggs (Lee and Emma) glazed turtle. Its shell detaches so you can store inside a single pea, maybe a 1 cent coin or even 3 sesame seeds, the space inside is that vast. Obviously the thought behind this gift is to remind me of the turtles that come to this island which i have never seen in 16 years.

After the shell is detached if you don't enjoy viewing the turtle anymore you can say its Dachshund who has been in a vicious fight and lost its ears. 2 gifts in one, OH JOY!

Next we have an aged piece. The Greek boat with a picture depicting Santorini even though it was bought on Zakynthos, so very rare indeed. This was lovingly supplied by Jeanette and Nigel who have taken great thought as they know i am looking to buy my own boat. In fact 8 years I've been looking to buy a boat. This one unfortunately is to big for me to man alone so it shall stay on the display cabinet.

Now then (only said it once, two or three times is just wrong) we all know that the wonderful people up north are hard working honest folk and whats more honest and hard working than a donkey given to me with great pleasure by Dawn and Paul. They have taken great care to find a donkey that i would like to own and call "Jebus". Yes i now have that donkey I've written about and yearned for all these years through my blog. ALL HAIL JEBUS!

And last but definitely not least over to my dear dear once friends Demi and Tasos. I was given this in a presentation gift bag and had to be filmed unwrapping it. Joy danced across my face as i opened the bag, excitement took over as the wrapping was pealed from around it, dread and fear took hold once i worked out exactly what it was. Its a musical carousel. Now if anything is going to freak me out its a toy that you'd see in a Stephen King movie or read about in a Dean Koontz book. I sit and stare at it for hours, not because its a wondrous looking item, NO, its because i'm expecting it to start turning around and playing its tune at any moment without me winding it up.

Here is the wonderful creepy little ditty it plays. Haven't a clue what the song is but i'm sure in summons up demons and ghouls.

If anyone else is thinking of supplying a ornament for my hugely popular display cabinet, please DON'T, i hate polishing and there is definitely no space left even though it looks like it has.

"Food, glorious food", "Who ate all the pies, who ate the pies" and other food related songs.
Look at what i have found. It was like an Aladdins cave of puff and shortcrust pastry delights. For me this is my downfall. I can hardly ever go past a bakery in the UK or here without resisting a purchase, even if i don't want it, i just got to have it. So now i can buy them and cook them at home its become a nightmare for me. My kitchen looks like the window of Greggs by the time I've bought them. Because i'm so indecisive  of what to eat first i just cook them all. OH, OH, stodge overload. I'm like the tubby little German (no not Angela Merkel), the boy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (love both those films) who can't stop drinking the chocolate river, well i can't stop eating my pastries. I better get the doorways widened in the house and a rag on a stick ready for wash times.

Now you all know about my kids, the ducks, well i got 7 of them together for a family pic. Yes i do know the difference in them as all their beaks have different markings. Here we have Webley, Lucy, Webster, Pandora, Fois, Quince and Amelia. Jemima is very shy so she was under a tree and Duck has social issues and a bit of a loner. Will have to talk to him at some point.

And finally, a tomato shaped like a....well....a tomato. My landlord is always leaving me veg from the garden, a week ago it was cucumbers, this week tomatoes. All fresh and home grown and taste so good. The only problem is at this rate i will have all the ingredients to make a salad by the end of the season. Why can't they just grow at the same time. Chicken eggs being supplied shortly, please Mr. Landlord no duck eggs.

So that's about it for this thrilling roller coaster of an update, another update next week, that's if the demon carousel hasn't killed me first.

Serve All, love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!