Good morning folks, well its morning here, just closed the bar and its 4am, i must stop drinking Oshee energy drinks with vodka lol.
So what you all been up to? Anything interesting? Well its all go here on the island but where do i start, well what if i told you that I've won the lottery, WOOHOO! No, i haven't actually. What if i told you I've £100 in a beauty contest and go directly to old Kent road, Yeehaa! No that hasn't happened either. What if i told you we lost electric to the whole island, ooooOOOOHHH! Now that did happen. I thought the days were long gone when resorts were left in darkness but it seems not. First one phase of electric went but that was OK as everything was still running in my bar at least. Then they turned the whole resort off for about an hour. Complete darkness. Lucky for me that one night earlier in the week one of the deaf sellers had had a bumper night sales in the bar and gave me a torch that straps to your head for free. It was very useful as i could still make drinks and look like a Dalek. At one point i strapped it to my wrist and pretended i was The Predator as it also has a red lazer, aaaaAAAAHHHHH! After an hour the lights came back on and would you believe it the butler had been murdered, NNNOOOooooooooo.
Oceanic in darkness, Alfred, my poor butler, how could someone do such a thing ha ha.
So I've been in to town loads last week as the T-shirts are flying out I've now sold 151 t-shirts up till today and got 5 to order tomorrow. As i was walking down the street i noticed a poster and there on it is Ricky Gervais's greek twin, Rickos Gervaisos. He is doing a live show here at the amphitheatre, its called Animalos, wonder if its as funny? Well i wont get to find out as its on when I'm working, damn you busy chill out bar.
Rickos Gervaisos, like Ricky Gervais but fatter LOL.
It was nice to see an ex employee of mine from the Tropicana arrive at the bar last night, Paula and her partner Kevin, sorry Gavin (they know what I'm on about). Paula worked for me in 2005 and she was a pleasure to work with, genuine nice person. Shame i can't say the same about myself as a boss to work for. You think Gordon Ramsay is bad, i know swear words that would make Gordon himself cry. I've been watching online Masterchef USA with the great man himself Mr. Ramsay hosting it. Now in this they call the contenders "Home Cooks" so basically people who just cook at home not as a profession. It amazes me that these, so called home chefs know how to cook anything. Every other episode they are given a mystery box to make meal with and the one box had in it a live Sea Urchin! What? Who the hell has bought a sea urchin for home.
" What do you fancy for dinner love?"
"What we Got?"
"Well we got beans on toast, bangers and mash or Sea Urchin?"
"Sea Urchin, haven't had that for a week, lovely"
I mean come on, how would you know how to cook it? How long for? and what the Jesus h Christ would you put with it?
So to all the Masterchef contenders i challenge you to replicate my 5 star Michelin award winning meal, POT NOODLE ROLL! MMMMmmmm. Put to much water and its to runny, put to little and its to dry, you need just the exact amount of water so you can put it in to the roll without it all running out. You have 10 mins, your time starts........NOW!
Marco Pierre White, Raymond Blanc and Delia Smith, EAT MY ROLL YOU!
Not a good time for me and my motorbikes at the moment. Saturday my clutch cable snapped on Virago then my other bike Ghost wouldn't kick over, so it was a long hot walk home Saturday night but Sunday i got both fixed and now I'm spoilt for choice but Ghost needs a real good service but at least i can now go and pay my bills, oh joy lol.
Now I'm sat here thinking "I forgot to write about something last week" but for the love of god i can't remember this week what i was going to write last week, my head is really fuzzy at this time of the morning, think, think, think! Oh yeah that's it.
The Olympics. For me if any of the gold medal winners walked in the bar and slapped me in the face and said "i won a gold medal at the Olympics" i still wouldn't recognise them. Boring! The whole Olympics was waiting for just one moment a 9.69 sec moment to be exact, all the rest was dull, dull, dull, oh apart from the ladies beach volley ball of course, i watched it for the skill in their play lol. The opening ceremony. why do wheel out Sir Paul all the time, Jubilee he's there, Olympics he's there, new lidl opening in Skipton he's there. I'm sure we have more than one old git who makes good music. Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Sex Pistols changed the face of music, Duran Duran (well the did conquer the states and worldwide), Pink Floyd and I'm sure many many others but just because this old saggy faced pensioner sings a song where everyone can sing "NAH NAH NAH NAH-NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH HEY JUDE" we have to have him everywhere. I also read that the Spice Girls were closing the ceremony,GOOD GOD, pass the revolver now. Their last single (the comeback one) didn't even get in the top 10 and to top it all George Micheal, bet no one went to toilet while he was in the stadium or got in their car as he left LOL. I won a gold medal during the Olympics for the 20 metre short sprint to the supermarket for stock. Bring it on Mr. Bolt, you ain't got a chance.
Well August is still going strong, had a bit of a quieter night Saturday but still did double target so can't complain. It was nice to be able to walk to tables and take time to chat a bit more to my customers than run round like Rocky chasing that chicken. So looking forward to Cyprus in Jan really need a rest, body not been the same since Winter Wipeout LOL.
I believe some of you are missing your cocktails since being home so just to be cruel and cheese you all off here is the now world famous Banoffee Pie Cocktail. A customer who reads my blog and asked me about my nemesis Heston Blumenthal and i said "he who's name must not be mentioned", they said yes and went on to rename me "Heston Boozenthal", i quite like that, how do you change your name through Depol? LOL
The wonderful Banoffee Pie mmmmmmmmm.
Well I'm off out in to town in 90 Min's, its now 6am and if you ain't at the electricity board by 8am to pay your bill its a nightmare so going as soon as the door opens at 7.30am.
I here that you liked my little picture tour through my past well i will do another for you soon, The Punk Years, The Actor and The Stunt Man. Talking of Punk, after midnight last night we had a punk music session (sorry to the other 20 customers), this only ever happens when Chris and Kevin are here when i get out my punk tracks that I've been listening to from when i was 9, Pistols, UK Subs, Misfits, Crass, Stiff Little Fingers etc etc. But at the end of the night i was paid the best compliment yet when Chris said "I want to buried in this bar" AWESOME! So that led me to thinking, i got quite a few patio slabs, one per person and i could do the service being as I'm a Reverend LOL perhaps not eh!
On the subject of music, one video was my inspiration for my first visit to a Greek Island, King - Alone without you. This Video was shot on Corfu and i thought it was so cool they were all on scooters without helmets and the places they show in the video looked great so my first holiday other than to France was to Corfu where i also DJ'd. Have a look at the video, i thought Simon Le Bon was a crap mover LOL
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2u26n_king-alone-without-you_music
Staying on the subject of music but this is now in a bad way, what the hell were Metallica thinking giving this girl the right to sing Unforgiven. It is so awful i want to jump inside the screen and slap her telling her "NO, this is wrong, stop it, NOW!" LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP0-wMUxW1o
Hello to the 2 new blog followers in Cyprus and 2 new blog followers in Romania
So until next week, Kev's handy tip of the week. Are you worried about tooth loss? Normal brushing just isn't doing enough? Well how about substituting toothpaste for ketchup/mayo and mouth wash for sauces. This way with every bite you take your brushing your teeth and rinsing at the same time. No need to thank me, its OK LOL.
