We arrived on the island at midday on Wed 26th to a blue sky and sun, ah bliss, just the start to a holiday you want. The transfer mini bus was a brand new Saab, Great. As we started to make our way to the resort i was then reminded of why i didn't like Spain. It is such a characterless place, huge estates of white buildings with not one curve just all right angles. These types of buildings stretched on for miles and miles along the coastline. the roads are excellent but again the roadsides were all manmade with palm trees planted all along and dark gravel surrounding them. With Greek islands its a much more natural feel to its whole look.
We arrive in Costa Teguise one of the smaller resorts and at our hotel. We were right on the edge of the resort which we liked and it was only a 10 minute walk to the centre.
Reception Hall in Hotel
The hotels natural beach and sea pool
We put our bags in room, didn't even unpack and off we went for a walk about. The resort wasn't that big but something was bothering me, where have i seen this resort before, then it came to me, Butlins! At the heart of the resort was a centre with all the restaurants, bars, supermarkets and tat shops. All roads led to this centre and along those roads were a few smaller centres and the odd bar. It was like someone from the Spanish gouverment had taken a holiday in the UK many years ago, stayed at a Butlins and said "Eureka" thats how we'll set up the Canary Islands, it was the same on Gran Canaria and Tenerife. Huge blocks of white apartments with roads leading off them to the entertainment centre. We had a look around and headed back but stopped at the last bar out of the resort nearest our hotel. More about this bar later. We went back to our room and chilled out after a long day of traveling and watched the sun set ready to start our holiday tomorrow.
Woke up threw back the curtains and there it was, grey horrible clouds, BUGGER! Nevermind, it will pass. Night time came, the clouds didnt pass.
The weather throughout our holiday wasn't great, 2 1/2 days of sun out of 7 days but its what you make of your holiday so we went on long walks, ate, drank and just enjoyed the break from the UK, at least you could still wear shorts and T-shirts even when it was cloudy.BARS:-
I knew the island was cheap for booze in the supermarkets so you obviously think it will be cheap for drinks in the bar, WRONG! I don't drink much anyway but when i have a drink i like a few. I usually drink Smirnoff with sprite, the odd bitter or rose wine. The prices for Spirit and mixer or Cocktails were crazy, 4euro for a cheap vodka and mixer (not even Smirnoff), 5-6euro for a cocktail. Whenever we drank somewhere they always had a drinks menu so we'd have a look through and these prices seemed to be the norm for almost all the bars. Local beer between 1-2.50 euro for a large, 1.50-2 euro for wine per glass. But we got hooked on jugs of Sangria but i didn't like the original Sangria as its made with soda water so i would always go for it without.
Most of the bars in the resort were brit owned but also brit branded either with union jacks everywhere, signs saying "English family run" or "English owned" or british pub names like "The Bulldog" , "Red Lion" , "The Swan" or "The Ship Inn". Every bar that was aimed at the british, was owned by a brit and clearly marked as a british bar. We didn't see one british bar that had a Spanish owner. The Spanish run bars were aimed at every nationality and there was only 2 german bars, well you can guess who they were aimed at lol. We drank in the Spanish Tapas bars and tried the odd bar when out and about in the day when we got thirsty. There was a spanish chill out bar in the resort which we heard had live music, brilliant we thought lets go there, relax and maybe watch a singer playing accoustic songs, WRONG! We got there and the first thing i spotted was a huge TV, then i noticed a lit up dancefloor, then i spotted the sign saying "live music with DJ jose, Rap, R n B, house, garage", not very chilled out i'd say. If you class a DJ as "live music" thats like saying Cheryl Coles a great live singer when all she does is mime. Very disappointed.
So now about the bar by our hotel, it was called Sunset Sports Bar, now i wanted to watch Liverpoool and my rugby team The Ospreys and this bar was showing it. It was british owned and to be honest not a nice bar but it had the games on that i wanted to watch. Now i always remember the Spanish bar staff having an attitude and being ignorant but these days it seems that the roles are reversed in Spain and its now the brits who are like this. You would think they would be glad of custome but its far from it, they make you feel like its a pain to serve you and that we should be grateful for them being there. Was really shocked by the bad attitude, tutting and loud sighing whenever i asked them for a drink. They advertised the Ospreys rugby game, when it was time for the match to kick off it wasn't on a tv so i asked which tv it was on, the owner made such a big fuss about putting it on, the bar wasnt even half full for the one football match that was on at the same time, he had 3 x 32" TV's, 2 x 26" TV's and 2 x 15" TV's all showing the football, so when he made a fuss about putting the rugby on he turned on an old portable and put the rugby on that when not all the other tv's were being watched. If you don't want to show something then don't advertise it LOL.
What i liked was there was no crazy drinks promtotions going on, no lauging gas being sold in bars, no free shots and happy hour was just that a happy hour that lasted 1 hour. The people would drink where they liked the most not because of where was the cheapest or what they could get for free.
There must have been a mass sale of whicker chairs at some point as every and i mean every bar had exactly the same seats and tables, the seats weren't even comfortable and looked cheap and horrible, the guy who owns that whicker company must be a millionaire just off Lanzarote haha.
The local beer used to be years ago San Miguel but now its Dorada, Cruzcampo and Tropical. These lagers seem very popular and very cheap depending on where you drank you could find a large beer for 1 euro but i hate lager so not much use to me. Tropical beer seems to be the new kid on the block and would you belive it its made from Dogs, the bottle has a dogs head on it, amazing. Perhaps Zakynthos could make a beer out of their strays lol (ok that was a joke before we all go crazy shouting from the rooftops, i have a dog, i feed the strays)
Beer brewed from Dogs (JOKE!)
Ahhhh! refreshing Sangria!
RESTAURANTS:-
Well we were spoilt for choice to be honest, we always looked for places where the locals were eating and these places were always full so thats a good sign of good food. The first restaurant we ate at was on our second night and it was called "Patio Canaria" this was a very up market Spanish Tapas restaurant but it was well set up inside and had a warm feel to it. We had a starter of Garlic bread but on top there was very finely chopped thin layer of tomatoes and rock salt and they gave us 2 pots of local dips that were called "Mojo Verde" and "Mojo Picon" these were so tastey. I went for an Ox sirloin steak (med/rare) and Helen had mixed fish. My steak came out and it was like i had the whole ass end of the Ox it was that big and thick, tasted sooooo good. Helens mixed fish was gut busting huge, 1 full red snapper, 1 full hake, half of cod, 1 tiger prawn, 6 mussles in shells, 4 cockles in shells and Canary potatoes all washed down with a rose wine. Excellent.
Helens aquarium dish.
Then for a few nights we ate at a small street tapas bar called "Repikada". This was true tapas. You walk in, sit down, order your drinks then go inside and choose which tapas dishes you want from the 20 that were on show then wait for them to arrive. For me this was heaven, traditional food, traditional tapas bar and some of the best flavours i've ever had. We tried Paella, Tuna with onion sauce, Tuna with peppers, Spicey chicken, Chicken with dough pasta, chicken with olives and aubergine sauce, beef cake, breaded chicken covered with slasa and melted mozerella and plain ribs. We would have eaten here every night but we like to try different places.Then on our last night we both decided we wanted a steak so i remembered seeing "La Vaca Loca" grill house that was always full and usually had locals in there. We got very lucky and caught the the last table available. We ordered a mussle, crab and prawn starter which was very very tastey and served in a large mussle shell wish i'd ordered more than just the one plate now, then the main course we both had Argentinian Sirloin steak which again was huge but they brought out a Argentinian steak sauce called "Cimichurri" for us to use if we wished, so we decided to give it a go, the bowl they served it in was empty by the time we finished with it, we smothered everything in it it was that good.
Didn't have a bad meal at all through out the whole holiday, the menus in restaurants were minimal which was great for making a choice and had something for everyone even though only having about 20 main courses, prices were very reasonable considering what we had and everything was cooked from fresh as you ordered it due to the amount of dishes you could chose from and the chef in most of the places is always on show as he's cooking, not a microwave in sight.
Patio Canaria Restaurant
Patio Canaria Restaurant
Repikada Tapas Bar
La Vaca Loca Grill
We did some sight seeing we saw the largest Volcano on the island but when you've seen one you've seen them all, large mountain, hole in the top, a bit warm around it, volcanic ash and stone surround it, job done LOL. A visit to the island wouldn't be the same without visiting Puerto del Carmen the main resort. We took the local bus to the resort and my, what loveley buses they use, it was like the main new National Express coaches and these were just local buses, very plush. Before we decided to go there i had a look at it on the map which then had a resort map also which i instantly noticed the resort had 2 Mcdonalds and a Burger King, oh dear we all know what the resort is going to be like now don't we boys and girls lol. When we got there and drove through it our fears were right. It reminded me of Barry Island, Porthcawl, Blackpool and Weston-super-mare. Brit bars, amusement arcades, tat shops, fast food take aways and drunken loud brits, this was in the afternoon. No sooner i was there i was quite happy to leave so we had a coffee, walked along the promenade to the other end of the resort had another coffee and went back to Costa Teguise. All that was missing from Puerto del Carmen was stalls where you could win teddies and donkey rides on the beach haha.Another volcano on another canary island
Puerto del Margate lol
So now time for a brief sum up about Lanzarote, the island i didn't like, the weather was rubbish, drinks were way overpriced apart from lager, wine and Sangria, brits were moody and ignorant and we got ripped off for milk in a shop 3 euro when we found it elsewhere for 83 cents. Food was fantastic, spanish people were friendly, loved the restaurants and we made the holiday good ourselves. Would i go back to Spain or its islands? Only if someone else paid for the holiday and my spending money LOL Its ok for the warmer weather and food buts thats all. Its to "Britified" for my liking, a new word i've come up with which means its got more in common with Britain than it has with its own country. Don't see the appeal of a place like that. I hated it when the Old Road in Kalamaki got a pavement.
And just a thought for Zakynthos, i spoke to a few spanish onwers while we were out and about and they all said the same thing, businesses are failing and closing in the resort and its all down to one thing. No its not the pound to euro, no its not the tourists not going there and no its not down to prices. Its all down to those horrble, plastic, clipped coloured wrist bands you see people wearing, All Inclusive. There were many business properties laying empty, shops, bars, restaurants all closed up and up for rent, if this is what it has done to a resort the size of Costa Teguise what will it do to Kalamaki? The 4 largest hotel complexes in Costa Teguise would take up most of Kalamaki resort but there are many more hotels and apartments in the resort but still Costa Teguise is struggling. So imagine if the 4 biggest hotels in Kalamaki went AI that would leave the resort in a terrible way. When will the local Zakynthian council take note of other countries and their resorts and see what the AI is doing to the smaller local businesses. Maybe they should take a look some day as its a sad state these places have got themselves in to and it would be hard to get back to the old ways. Even the Aquarium in Costa Teguise was closed down, that might have been because of all the fish on Helens plate lol.
Oh and even though the weather was pants, i got in the pool. In this pic i look quite calm don't i, well lets just say the water was that cold that my gentleman vegtables vanished in a milli-second of hitting the water HAHA!
Olla and Gracias to you all!
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