Countdown commencing. T-Minus 2 weeks and counting.........

Well, well, well, is it that time again. My hasn't it flown.

This winter has flown by even quicker, as they say "Time flies when your having fun" and this winter has been my best yet.

So whats been happening in the world of Kev.

Toys R Us is sadly no more in 2 weeks time which is such a shame as i loved working there being Santa's little helper but what can you do when the men at the top line their pockets then say "Sorry, we made a mistake with the accounts, our accountant read them wrong" and that's exactly what has come out of this whole shambles.

Ah well, i can relax straight after the season this year, YEAH RIGHT! Lazy, work shy and boredom are not words in my vocabulary. R.I.P. Geoffrey.

As you know we went to see Depeche Mode in Birmingham last November and we thoroughly enjoyed the concert and Birmingham, so much so we went backon March 10th just for the hell of it for a weekend.

We decided to stay in the same hotel and go on a 6 nations weekend when Wales played Italy, Ireland played Scotland and England played France. Didn't England finish 5th? I also think it was their worst finishing position since 1987, oh well, so much for a new era of English dominance eh, back to the drawing board lads.

We started our weekend off with a walk around the city centre in the afternoon before going back to room to watch England get beat by France. I think its a great city centre, loads there and not to spread out. As a special treat before we travelled up i booked us in to a Thai restaurant that was highly rated called Siamais. 

Good job we booked as they weren't accepting walk ins on the night we went, if you did walk in for a table you were allowed to wait in bar for a table if someone was a no show.

There was so much good food on the menu and some great cocktails.

We went with a Red Thai Beef Curry and a Massaman Curry.

Red Thai Curry

Massaman Curry

That was so good we decided to go for a dessert. We ordered a Mango and Passion fruit Cheesecake along with a Thai Sticky Rice.

Mango and Passion fruit Cheesecake

My Thai Sticky Rice wasn't worth taking a picture of but boy did it taste soooooooooooo good.
In fact I'll go as far as to say its the second best meal I've ever had, the first of course is The Hellenic in Cardiff. That was all washed down with a bottle of rose and some cocktails, a Passion Pop and a Spiced Monsoon.

From here we took a waddle around the city centre until we got to The Malt House.

In here we sat stuffed and exhausted from our marathon meal in 2 wing backed leather arm chairs and sipped at pints we didn't really want but it was one of those nights you didn't want to end so we carried on.
Unfortunately we couldn't even finish our pints and dragged ourselves back to hotel and happily crashed out.

SUNDAY! Bright and breezy up for breakfast and off to Sealife Centre where it opened at 10am and we were first in the cue as we were going to see the penguins and turtle, YAY!
We had visited London Sealife Centre and that was huge but the Birmingham one seemed better as the tanks were smaller so the fish, turtles and penguins were closer.

Me in Karl Strombergs lair, i told him i wasn't James Bond but he was having none of it.

One of Strombergs villainous trained killer turtles coming at me.

WATCH OUT! Phew, my turtle call distracted him.

After my escape from the jaws of death we went on to the lovable Penguins or are they?

Yes there are lovable and funny.

We did the whole tour of Sealife and what a great way to start the day off,

Where next? 

To the Bull Ring. We took a stroll over to Birmingham New Street shopping centre then on to Bull Ring and all around there, that is one big shopping centre.
Along the way i came across a dogs toilet, i kid you not, a public toilet for dogs. That's amazing.

The thing is this was the only one i saw so what if your dogs caught short elsewhere?
POOP DISASTER!

Time for rugby.
Wales V Italy, back to The Malt House. We took our table directly in front of the TV and got settled. There were quite a few watching the match but unfortunately it was Mothers Day and lots of families with kids, good grief, don't you know rugby is on, be quiet, PLEASE! I need to cheer on Wales. Did i say we came second in the 6 Nations? Not only did we have to put up with unruly children but they also had a acoustic singer on, every Sunday he's there. He sounded like Jasper Carrot singing Brit Pop Songs "Yaw me wunderwall".
Anyway, back to game. A week before we had a bet which i lost and the loser had to drink the worst shot the winner could think of. As i sat there a glass was placed in front of me about a foot away on the table. I could instantly smell from that distance tabasco, she's trying to kill me. It was a Bloody Mary, the last time i checked that isn't a shot, I picked it up and decided the way to go was just neck it. There was that much tabasco in there that the fumes off the glass were burning my eyes. I took a deep breath and went for it. I got half way and the back of my tongue was burning that much i had to stop and take air and beer. Is she crazy, mad, mental? It was like drinking magma (lava from a volcano) from a glass. We did see the funny side of it though once i wiped the tears away from my eyes so i could actually see. I will get revenge, she will feel my drinking wrath.
After a few pints and Wales had won we went back to hotel and saw the rest of our night out there until home time the next day. A amazing funny weekend was had by all.

Now then, we were having a conversation and i mentioned back in the 80's i had a lady stalker who used to call my landline phone and heavy breathe to which i said "What ever happened to the heavy breathers?" "Did the age of the mobile phone wipe them out?" They used to be quite common in the 70's and 80's. For those of you who don't know what a heavy breather is they just used to ring numbers at random and heavy breath, that's it. Not a common thing anymore, now you can just abuse anyone whenever you want through social media, i guess modern day heavy breathers are what you call "Trolls".

Really enjoyed my winter in the UK this time what with having a laugh going out and about, rugby, ice hockey and general fun times. If I'm being honest would be more than happy to stay in the UK now unlike previous years in the past where i couldn't wait to get back to the rock. Not done any prep for bar this time but i am going out earlier than normal so will sort everything once there as have time on my hands, slow and steady.

No rants today as nothing to rant about, I've been pretty stress free since June which is great, no need for stress, life is so much better without it.

So my lovely blog followers until the day before i leave..............................

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

WARNING! WARNING! FOOD RANT!

OK, so let me get calm first before i start to type my raging rant.

I read this article and it made me so crazy.
Health agencies want to cut 20% of calories from processed foods. AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

STOP MESSING WITH MY FOOD!

Now as you know i love food, i just love to eat.
Lets look back at what we used to eat.
Take a bar of lard, dip it in thick batter, deep fry it in beef dripping, heavily dust with salt then smother in beef dripping gravy.
Now its No salt, 0% fat, No additives, 20% less calories. You know what your left with? AIR or DUST, Anybody? No? DUST. Anybody? No? DUST.
There's a strain on the NHS because of obesity. How? People were eating more unhealthy years ago and the NHS was fine. We're eating healthier and NHS is at breaking point.

Now then, i liked some weird foods, i will try anything and i like food most people hate but due to companies being told to take out all the ingredients that make food taste good i may as well be eating a food called "Generic". It now all tastes the bloody same.
Its got sod all to do with the food, its got to do with educating people about food.
I want the choice of eating healthy or unhealthy not to be dictated to by some stick insect that survives on a blade of grass and thinks obese is anyone over 5 stone. Who is the person who set the bar for the weight for obesity? Who are they to say that is the correct weight?
Let companies give a full on version of a product along with a bland version and let the consumer decide. If they go the fat, fat and more fat choice they only got themselves to blame.

The article said "We have more obese children in England than ever before"
I can tell you why, its the food that the parents are feeding them. They have a choice the parents. Feed them good food or feed them crap. Both types of food are available now without having to make everybody suffer by taking the unhealthy goodness out of food.
I will give you my example. I am now eating 1000 calories a day, that's 1500 less than I'm allowed. Even with having less than half the calories I'm eating really good tasty unhealthy food and large portioned meals. That's because I've educated myself on food. I half the unhealthy portion and double the healthy portion. I'm eating pasta bakes, pies, sausages, burgers, biscuits, cake, chocolate bars so all the nice tasting supposedly bad food but with that i eat carrots fries, Cauliflower Rice, butternut squash waffles etc.
Food doesn't have to be destroyed, people just need educating on how to eat.
Cook a proper meal for the family which takes half an hour or drive through a Mac D's which takes 30 seconds? That's the problem.

People make the excuse "I'm to busy to cook a meal", yeah I'm sure you are with watching your reality shows, soaps and facebook. Its called laziness not busy.

So in the defence of bad fatty unhealthy food, let the people have a choice with warnings attached like cigarettes, they haven't taken nicotine out of cigarettes have they? Don't take their choice away.

LEAVE MY FOOD ALONE!

Feel better now and thanks for listening LOL.

I've sang with Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift.

Well its another update time and why not, after all what else have i got to do..........nothing.

We're on countdown, just over a month till i get on that big metal bird back to the rock, my 18th year. That has flown by and i only went out originally for one season in 2001. OK, i only spent 1 month in 2015 but that wasn't down to me as you know but its still been 18 years, wow. I am amazed, so roll on season 12 with Oceanic.

So, whats in store for you lovely people this update.

IT'S SNOWING. EVERYBODY STOP! Come on folks seriously. Its not the first time ever its snowed. It's snowed for hundreds of years that we know of. So why is it in this modern day and age where you can alter your face to look like a pig singing on your phone (why you'd want to i don't know) everybody goes in to panic mode when we get a few flakes.
We've had over a hundred years of advancement in machinery and engineering but travel still grinds to a halt cause its slightly colder than yesterday, REALLY?
Parents won't send their children to school in case they hurt themselves on the way or in the playground BUT its fine to let their children out chucking compacted hard snow balls at each other. One headmaster has a no snow touching policy in school in case of injuries and law suits. This is the society we live in today folks.
Snow used to mean Fun, now snow means law suits and blame game. Absolutely ridiculous.

Wales Rugby - 6 Nations.
I'm not going to harp on about TMO decision on the try disallowed as even if given that still wouldn't have meant we would have won the game, it would have just changed the course but what a game. England's defence in the last 30 Min's was brilliant and they had a great opening 20 Min's and that was it, so to defend so well for 60 Min's is a amazing achievement as Wales tried everything but just couldn't get that break which was needed. Also for England not to score one single point in 60 Min's of play shows Wales defence was just as good. Well done both teams but we won't mention Scotland to loud................SCOTLAND, SCOTLAND, SCOTLAND!

Cardiff Devils famous supporters club.
In the last update i showed you that Hollywood actor Vince Vaughan was a Devils supporter and he had his GQ magazine shoot in his Devils jersey.
Here is this updates famous supporter.

  

Yes its the rock legend and icon himself Mr. Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden. Firstly with Taz the Devils mascot, then showing his sideline in men's hairdressing on a Devils player.

The Devils have got a huge support base and have this year already got to the Challenge Cup final on March 4th and are top of the league, so, LETS GO DEVILS, LETS GO!

I come across this one day. Its an article about what you should leave behind as a man once you hit 40 years old.

http://bestlifeonline.com/50-items-no-man-in-40s-should-own/

I will list a few off that 50 which seem ridiculous.

Tracksuit - Perfect attire for over gym wear or sports kit, you wouldn't wear a suit to a Sunday morning parks football match would you?

Hoodies - Why not? Practical if rains, warm if cold, light weight to carry and easy to store. They're not just for yuffs and thugs.

Unstamped passport - Your lucky if you even get your passport looked at by a human these days let alone stamped.

Skinny Jeans - Again, why not? Not everybody over 40 has a beer gut, kebab meat thighs and saggy ass, if they fit well and look good, wear them.

Band T-shirts - I wear them allot. Yuffs wear them allot. The difference is i know who the band is, they think its a designer brand. I asked a girl in my bar who was wearing a Ramones t-shirt "Do you like them?" to which she replied, "Yeah they make great clothes". Unbelievable.

Baseball Caps - Now i don't wear them but allot of guys over 40 need them, how else would we keep our little bald patches warm and they are about the only head gear that suits everyone.

Having a Tattoo - Many people in later life have them. They see it as liberating and given them a new lease of life, for it to be a change or a "new you" moment.

That's just a few i picked out but who is anyone to tell someone else what they should or shouldn't wear, what they should or shouldn't do. We're all individual. We are unique. I was brought up in the Punk era when it was about being yourself and being individual. So why follow trends or fashion and be a blind brainless sheep being lead with the masses.

And do you know who wrote this article.....................

This guy, Mr. Eric Spitznagel,  he's 48

Call me Mr. Sarcastic but this........coming from a man who wears shorts with a suit jacket and i believe it looks like a Smiths t-shirt under his jacket. Idiot! By the way, he writes for New York Times Magazine, i rest my case.

Ladies, you don't get away with it that easily either.

http://bestlifeonline.com/50-items-no-woman-in-40s-should-own/

One that made me laugh on yours ladies is "Alcohol in plastic bottles", hilarious. I know of many women over 40 who take take plastic bottles of alcohol in their handbags on a night out in town.

And the woman that wrote this............
Rachel Jacoby Zolan, age unknown but looks under 40 and here she is...........

Both ridiculous articles.

As the heading states i have sung with the two biggest singing artists in the world.
Well, not exactly. I have sang in the exact spot that they will be singing from in the summer.
It has been announced they will be playing Singleton Park in Swansea. This park is just across the road from the back of my house. They will be playing there the 26th and 27th of May.
Oh damn and blast, what a terrible shame, bugger, I'm going to miss it, oh poor me, boo hoo, I'm so upset......................I DON'T THINK SO.
Thank god I'm not there.
I decided to go and check out the acoustics of where the stage will be set. I stood at the spot and decided to sing two songs.
My first little ditty i composed and sang is called "Just cause you can string two words together and play an old guitar doesn't make you a genius". This song was just the warm up song which the crowd seemed to enjoy.
My second song took me just 30 seconds to write, that's 25 seconds longer than Taylor Swift takes, its called "Your just a failed poor mans Dolly Parton". This was my closing song and the fans went wild for it.

Here's me on the exact spot where the stage will be.

Here is the view they both will have, can you see the wave of fans i had.........well two, you can just about see them sat on the grass but they enjoyed it.

And this is the road between the back of my house and Singleton Park, so glad I'm away.

Its been quite a glorious week for sunshine so i took myself off down the beach as its just 5 Min's walk from my house. It is so nice to walk on the sand, sun on my face, headphones on and singing at the top of my voice thinking no one can hear me. Then i remember, the gale force winds that burn my face off carries sound further so all the people walking along the promenade are getting a free concert from me.
Its my pleasure, no need to thank me.

Valentines Day.
How many of you men bought flowers from the garage? Does this mean you forgot gents? How many of you women bought a toiletries set? Does this mean you think your men are stinky ladies? That's fine. Its not about the present its about the love, a day to show love.
Our day of love was spent stuffing our faces. Our night was spent in my favourite Greek eatery outside of Greece, The Hellenic. I booked a nice little table for two and off we went.
When it comes to Greek food i could eat it all, there is nothing i won't eat so it was a difficult task.
We started with a bottle of Mythos and a bottle of Fix to help us decide. Sod it, lets just order a load and have it all together.
Tzatziki with pita, grilled Halloumi, dolmades with yogurt, bifteki and gyros merida.
It was amazing. The company wasn't that bad either LOL.
I've eaten all over Greece and in the UK, many, many tavernas and restaurants and The Hellenic is almost my best place for Greek food. The first is El Greco in Hersonisos on Crete but that's only because it made Lamb Kleftiko properly just lamb and potatoes with herbs which they cook to order 24 hours in advance.
If you visit Cardiff and looking for Greek food you won't find better than here but it is full most nights so you may need to book.

http://www.thehelleniceatery.co.uk/



And finally.............
Now then people, i found something a little disturbing.
As we all know i love to go to Costa's and just sit and enjoy a Caramel Cappuccino, in fact i have gained £13.50 on my club card i drink there that much. Hang on........I've just worked it out........I've spent £270 on coffee to get back £13.50. That's not a good deal. Anywhooooo, on entering the other day i was met by a poster with something that i can only call a obscenity. I won't point it out as I'm sure you can see it for yourself.

So that's it for another short but brief update. We are heading ever closer to season 2018 and as you know the updates become more interesting and a bit longer once on the island, until the next time .........

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Its time to tell you all the truth, i can't live a lie.

Friends, customers and blog followers, its time for me to come clean. For years I've been living a lie. I've been lying to myself, my family, my friends, my customers and to my blog followers and I'm so so sorry for doing so. Today i thought it was time to stop living a lie and open up to you all and it will take a weight off my shoulders, so here goes.
I'm short. I know i know, its been hard for me to come to terms with but it's even harder to keep lying to you. I'm only 5'5"  (1.65m), i am NOT 5'6" (1.68m), please forgive me. Phew! I feel so much better after getting that off my chest, thank you all so much for understanding.

Well HAPPY NEW YEAR! and no sooner we're over one holiday the advertising starts for Easter. Well, its only just round the corner after all, 4 MONTHS away.

Hey, hey folks, its all good so far with the start of a new year, 2018 and i hope its all good with you also.

Not really done much since my last update, just been resting my weary little limbs, well, after all i had nearly worked solidly for 8 months. in fact out of 245 days from May till end of December i had worked 234 days, that's just 11 days off, some people get that amount of days off in a month. One thing I'm not is work shy. In fact I'm now looking for a part time job as I'm so restless doing nothing it kills me.

I've been for my yearly medical M.O.T. and its perfect, resting heart rate and BP is that of an athlete, yeah, that surprised me as much as you and my BMI is also spot on. Always have this just in case I'm needed for a medical study at short notice.

So what news do i have. NONE!

So lets have a look over what's been going on in the world through the news, sport and papers. Where do i start, most of it winds me up so i try not to read or watch anything but its difficult.

Trump:
Lets start with Mr. Flip-top Hair. Who doesn't love Trump and i don't mean in a heartfelt way. He is like the real version of Homer Simpson. There is no filter from brain to mouth and I'm sure he doesn't understand anything that's going on in the world. Can you remember, if you've ever watched Father Ted, where Father Ted is trying to explain to Father Dougal that the toy cow he was holding was small and the real cow they were looking at was far away. That's how i envisage that Donald Trumps aides have to talk to him. I can't wait for the mid-term vote to see how much the voting has changed.

Reality TV:
Now i don't watch it but there is always something on front page of MSN, Yahoo etc etc so you can't get away from it. So i decided to look in to it as some of these programmes are called "Celebrity". Now then, in my mind a celebrity is a well known household name that perhaps 80% of people would know, for example, Rowan Atkinson, Gary Barlow, Ed Sheeran, Dawn French, Mel C, Lady GaGa, Gordon Ramsay, Mary Berry, Jesy Nelson, Harry Styles. Most people you would agree would have heard of these people in some way whether your young or old, even i didn't have to look them up, i know who they are and I'm crap with names.
Right, so here are the "Celebrities" on Celeb Big Brother and Dancing on Ice, here we go. Kem Cetinay?? Stephanie Waring?? Candice Brown?? Jake Quickenden?? Andrew Brady?? Rachel Johnson?? Jonny Mitchell?? Courtney Act?? Malika Haqq???????????????????????????????????????
What? Who? Where? Now i don't live under a rock and watch very little TV but I've still heard of many celebrities. I've never seen them on TV or listened them but due to news or chat i know of people. The Nine i have listed above which are almost half of the people on both shows i haven't got a clue who they are but i thought I'd look them up..................................They are nobodies. Definitely not celebrities. If they are celebrities then I've got just as much right to use that label as i was on Total Wipeout but of course i won't use it because "I'M NOT A CELEBRITY, NEITHER ARE THEY". Reality TV contestants, friends and family of someone famous can no way be classed as a celebrity.
If people watching these shows actually think these Z Lister's are celebrities cause they've opened a summer fete or have judged a biggest marrow competition then I'm sorry your sadly wrong.

Brexit:
Its been going on that long that if it wasn't in the news constantly no one would even remember it happened and lets be honest, everyone still doesn't know what the hell is going on.

Star Wars:
The Last Jedi. No spoilers here. If you added Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan and Hayden Christensen's Anakin Skywalker i don't think it could of got less dull and bland.

Internet viewing:
Brilliant, captivating, gripping viewing "60 days in". I found this on line and there are 4 seasons of it and its so good. I'm only half way through first season but i just can't stop watching it once i put it on i just want to watch the next episode straight away. It takes normal everyday people who do normal jobs or are stay at home parents and put them in to a high security jail as undercover inmates, only the Jail warden and top jail sheriff know they are there, not one other officer or worker or inmate know who they are and they are treated the same as all the other inmates, killers, rapists, thugs and thieves.. They have been put in there to find out what activity is going on and for feedback after 60 days inside on what could be done to stop it and help the prison. If you can download it or watch it on line i highly recommend it.

Sport:
A referee In Ligue 1 in France kicked a player for knocking him over.
I think referees should be allowed to do this at least once to a player in every match as a test.
Lets face it, the modern day player on £250,000 a week with slippers for football boots and immaculate Nivea complexion (other men's skin care products are available) trips over a worm if it pops its head out the ground, so referees should be able to test with a kick how easily they do actually go down. When you watch the video the player doesn't even stumble after being kicked but if that was in the penalty area and kicked by a opposition player they would go down like they been shot by a sniper.

   

As the old ice hockey saying goes:-

And on the subject of ice hockey my very own Cardiff Devils has a very famous supporter, Mr Vince Vaughn.

Here is Vince wearing his Cardiff Devils jersey in his GQ magazine shoot.

I kid you not, that's a Devils shirt, the blue advertising on the shoulder is Cardiff Met.

Adverts:
Nationwide, Sisters singing.
Please, please, please, shoot me now. The most annoying adverts of all time. I just want to smash my TV. Go Compare has nothing on these two irritating earwigs.

Gigs:
As you know i love the live music. My motto is "If its not live its not music" or is it "If its not a band playing live its not music" or then again did i say "Live is alive, mime is a crime" it could have been "backing track is kak, bring live music back". I really can't remember to be honest but they all sound good to me.
Back on topic, myself and Leighton Kyle my Ex-actor/Drama teacher nephew went to see The Smyths at The Globe in Cardiff.
Here's a fact for you, The Globe used to be a cinema many, many years ago and was nicknamed "The Flea Pit", I don't think i have to explain why. It was here i saw the cult movie classic "The Warriors". Now then, this is the amazing part I'm 49 now and 5'5" (we know the truth now about my height) but i got in to see a x certificate film at the age of 11, yes folks, me, shorter than i am now, with skinhead haircut, Dr. Martins, bleached jeans and harrington jacket was accepted in to watch a violent adult  film. That's why "The Flea Pit" was what it was. God bless The Flea Pit.
So back to present day. We had seen The Smyths before but this time they were also going to play Morrissey's solo material.
We got prime seats on the balcony at the front and were set ready with our tins on San Miguel (4 for £12). The lights dim and the band entered stage right. It is with great sadness that i never got to see the Original band but i can honestly say if you closed your eyes and listened to the sad, wandering, soothing but satirical lyrics and masterfully crafted melodies you wouldn't know that it was a tribute band.
They played through the solo material first which didn't seem to get as good a reaction as The Smiths songs but with songs such as "Everyday is like Sunday", "Suedehead" and "Last of the famous" how could they not be greeted with as much applause  and ovation. They continued on with seamless ease in to "There is a light that never goes out" which carries one of my all time favourite lyrics "And if a double-decker bus ,Crashes into us, To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die" . Follow that with all the other classics such as "The boy with a thorn in his side" and finishing with "How soon is now?" what wasn't there to like about this gig. Well, apart from one song "That joke isn't funny anymore", I wanted to throw myself off the balcony at that point, to quote The Smiths themselves after listening to that song "Heaven knows I'm miserable now". Can't complain really, a 27 song set list, all played live with no backing track, only one dull song. I look forward to the next gig.

Note to self: Get a proper camera.

Its amazing to know that Morrissey and Johnny Marr never wrote the Smiths songs together in the same room. In a interview i heard with Johnny Marr Johnny would record the music idea he had on a tape then post it to Morrisey to write the lyrics and arrange the melody. Then it was tweaked back and forth. Now that's pure music talent.

Well i think I've covered all avenues, Politics, TV, UK, Films, Streaming, Sport, Advertising and Music. No need for anything else really, I'm happy with it.
NOPE! forgot one thing...........how could i forget...........

Food & Drink:
A couple from Worcester had their wedding reception in.............wait for it..........a KFC!
How freaking cool is that? You can stick your Scottish Castles, far flung AI resorts, 3 Michelin Star restaurants and Marquee in a stately home with swans roaming round in my bucket.
Can you imagine. For £15 per head you get a bargain bucket each. For £15 per head in any of the fancy places above you get a single Vol-au-vent wannabe called a Amuse Bouche.
I want a invite to anybody who has their reception in a KFC, the chicken gravy is on me!

And here is the proof

Best food I've ever seen, a Yorkshire pudding wrap, Nom Nom Nom, yummy!

And to finish, a cocktail you will never see on my menu, Avocado Cocktail.
Vodka with other stuff and fresh avocado puree or as i prefer to call the drink "Snot in my bar", its a play on words, get it?

There we are folks another fun packed update. Hope it will keep you going for now.

So until next time...........................

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

"It's the most wonderful time of the year", Christmas is over WOOHOO!

Now i know my headline is negative about Christmas but it was very enjoyable but 24 hours is enough, it doesn't have to last 2 months. As i said in a previous update i heard my first Christmas song 27th Oct, that's just ridiculous.

So my lovely lovely blog followers how was your Christmas Day? I hope you got lots of lovely gifts to re-gift next Christmas. What was my Christmas like? Great, no unwanted gifts, lots of aftershave and smellies (hope its not a hidden message) which is always good with all the travelling i do and my best present of all a Mike MacWilliam ice hockey shirt, AWESOME! and a Depeche Mode colouring book (only use grey or black colours).

So what do i have to tell you, so so much to tell you and to rant about i don't know where to start, OK, i know where to start.

"Its rant time, everybody loves a rant time, its time for us to have a rant tiiiiiiiiiiiiime, its rant time!"
I know you love my rants so this update i have a couple.

1/ When Harry met Megan. So what! He's fifth in line to the thrown, shes a not so major actress and on the breaking news of their engagement the Daily Mail had 27 pages dedicated to them, REALLY? Why? Its 6 months till they are going to get married and its just an engagement after all. Now its 6 months of "Look at her coat", "Look how in love they are", "They're holding hands" , "The Americans now have a princess", "they were seen smiling" , "Both look amazing stood like humans with clothes on"  I don't care, its not going to change my life not one single bit apart from making me angry so its not changing my life for the better.

2/ A Child only friendly Facebook. This is brilliant, just one more thing for your child to become a social outcast by sitting in their room, not seeing the light of day and never have real friends to go out and play with.

3/ Paying for bus fair or showing your ticket. Now call me Mr. Boring but when I'm about to get on a bus or train i have my ticket out ready, WHY, because i know i need to show the bus driver my ticket or i need my train ticket to get through a gate. So this is the question...........WHY OH WHY OH WHY are people so stupid that they wait until on the bus before getting money out or rummaging through their bag to find a ticket that being as its so small and thin it will slip down to the bottom of the bag under all their crap or with ticket passes on phones they start swiping through pages of apps while stood in front of driver to find their ticket. GET YOUR FREAKING TICKET READY BEFORE THE BUS ARRIVES! You know you got to show it so why the hell wait till stood on bus delaying people stood in the rain and letting all the warm air out of bus, IDIOTS!

4/ In this modern technology social media society we live in today people are seriously ridiculous. I was going to check my e-mail when i saw this headline on MSN,  "Eastenders viewers outraged as Stacey makes cup of tea the wrong way"??????????????? Your kidding me right? Are Eastenders viewers lives that dull that the only thing they can do is moan about a cup of tea on a fictional, miserable, depressing soap. I mean the price of a call or text or time taken to write an email to complain about this catastrophic disaster is of course much more important than complaining about the treatment of a disabled person who was told that she couldn't get on a train as there was no room for her type or an elderly person having their heating turned off over Christmas or A & E's being filled with self inflicted drunken injuries when real emergencies have to wait in ambulances for hours.
Come on, its a cup of tea, get a life.

Just 4 rants to get on with for now, i got a few more but don't want to spoil you

And off to Birmingham we go. As you know i missed out on Depeche Mode in Athens due to ferry strike so we made up for it by going to sunny Birmingham, which it actually was, sunny.
It had been a lone long time since i had been to Birmingham and WOW, what a great city.

They have a lovely canal area.

They have a Brummie walk of fame.

And the Birmingham Arena (Not the NEC) is a great venue for gigs.

Now i bet your wondering why i only took one picture of Depeche Mode during the concert. Well, call me Mr. Normal but when i go to a concert i go to watch the band through what i like to call "my own eyes". Why did i buy seated tickets? Well you see, we like to see the concert first hand not through the person in front of me smart phone. What is the point in that? Stood for 2 hours with arms in air watching a concert on a tiny screen zooming in and out. When you buy standing tickets this is what you get and I'm not the tallest of people, I'm not tall at all if I'm being honest so being in tiered seating even if a person stands up in front i still see all the concert clearly. Just to add, best concert that i have ever seen and enjoyed. I've seen loads and some of the biggest artists ever.

On to Toys R Us. So you all know by now Geoffrey the giraffe is not getting put down, well not in Swansea anyway but i could tell something was up before it even all come out weeks later.

As you can see this is the racking in the warehouse which was jam packed full from floor to ceiling which is the norm for Christmas time but...........

when the loading bay is also overloaded with stock with nowhere for it to go, this isn't normal.  Myself and the one and only other night worker i think did an amazing job considering. When i first started at Toys in 2001 there were 6 night staff, now only two of us and just as much stock is having to be sorted if not more what with shipping from store and click and collect. We kept the company afloat, we are saviours, we are gods, we are.............THE NIGHTSHIFT!

Call me Mr. Sensible but when i was a kid we wanted bikes, action figures, good old family board games and lumps of coal for presents. What is up with the games of today.

Firstly, this is a animated pet dog you can walk that poops. Now i guess it teaches your child to pick up after a dog does its business but a real dogs business isn't solid plastic and smells. They'll get a surprise the Christmas after when they get that real puppy.

On to board games.

This one deals with a large nose and snot.

A monkey that farts.

A ogre that craps.

A cow that farts.

A dog that poops.

A dog that wees.

There are more along that line but as you can see all to do with body functions that in reality we would prefer not to see or smell and would steer clear of if we had to clean it up from a person or pet.
Whatever next, Grumpy Grannies bed pan? Incontinence pants poodle? Constipation Frustration?

Now this, this is a cool vehicle. Luke Skywalkers land speeder. It has 6 different sounds (3 sounds sounded the same) runs on electric and cost the same as a second hand small car £499.99 but by the time it was Christmas eve it was £249.99. If i was a kid i would ask for 5 Christmases presents in one to get it.

Now do you remember Only Fools and Horses where they had dolls that didn't speak in English and a porcelain cat that played "how much is that doggy in the window" well we had a Troll that spoke just in French LOL.

So Christmas is over and New Year is on its way.
What will the New Year bring? Well for me every year just gets better and better. Another season in the sun, more adventures and travelling, less and less hair, more and more aches and not forgetting my half century which i think is amazing, 50. I really don't feel it although my balding wasteland gives my time line away.

So its time to get myself ready for New Years and need to get my bag packed but for now i will say "Should auld acquaintance be forgot".

2018 is going to be even better, oh yes, i shall make it so, you know I'm true to my word.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar out!

Merry Christmas to one and all.

Now as you all know boys and girls i'm not a lover of Christmas but after finding out Santa's greatest secret i may just end up enjoying it.

Kids, Santa is real but watch the video and find out why.

The update i said would be next will be after this one, I've just been way to busy but will explain all in that update.

Ho, Ho, Ho everybody and hope all your presents are ones you can pass on to someone else next year.

This will be my last ever post.

Hello to one and all, how we all doing today my lovely readers, are you all well? What you been up to? Anything interesting? Isn't it cold, BBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
WE WANT HEAT, WE WANT HEAT, DOWN WITH COLD, DOWN WITH COLD!
In saying that in good old Swansea its been sunny more often than grey since I been back but it freaking freezing and leaving the house late at night and returning home early in morning doesn't help, yes its back to good old Toys R Us, I love the night shifts, quiet, peaceful, busy, no stressed out parents and no screaming, whining kids, Ahhhhhhh Bliss!

What's that you say? Oh, what's the headline all about? AH, I've done it again haven't I, you think its something negative, no, no, no, not at all. What I meant to say is this will be my last ever post from this laptop, yes, that's what I meant to say, I'm getting a new one Woohoo!, well a refurbished managers special from Argos but its quicker than this thing but that doesn't mean I will be quicker with my updates after all I'm 50 next year.
Yes 50, what's that? I don't look it, I look more like 36, oh your to kind, your still not getting a free cocktail. But yes someone last season didn't think I looked 49 they thought I was about 36, its having a stress free life and never using soap on my face just hot water, that's true you know, soap dries out your skin. You know like the rings on a tree shows you how old it really is, that's the same for a bald patch, or in my case now a wasteland, the bigger the patch the older you are but hey its just hair, it would be worse if as you got older body parts started dropping off instead right?
Note to anyone out on the rock on my birthday, if I pull up to the bar and I see one single evidence of a streamer, banner or balloon I will turn round and go straight back in to main Zakynthos town and get drunk alone, your 21st birthday should be the last time you celebrate it so that was 29 years ago, yes I'm good at maths as well as average looking LOL.

So its on with the update.

Where did I leave you last time...............ah yes, I was drinking champagne on my flight back home.

Every homecoming is started with a stay in London. Now I've been to London so many times and also worked in Selfridges and Harrods in 1991 for a year crawling through their air conditioning, a sort of modern day chimney sweep but without the dodgy cockney accent, "Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee".
So because of this there's hardly any part of London I haven't seen, I can walk all day around London and know exactly where I'm going so its not really a tourist trip anymore, its just a nice little break after a long hard season and before playing with toys for 2 months, I mean working.

So its express train to Paddington from Gatwick as always have to fly back to Gatwick and then on to hotel for 3 nights.

Now across the road from Charlotte Street Hotel we found a lovely old bar still with all the little wood and glass panelled partitions inside, like private little drinking rooms called "The Fitzroy Tavern". Now as we all know London is expensive, especially central London. We paid £12.50 for two pints that were served in Plastic cups in the Punch & Judy Covent Garden which used to be my local when I worked in London, The Fitzroy for two pints guess how much............£6.30. I was amazed, I had to question if they had charged for both and they had and this pub is in the city centre, I now have a new local.

Upstairs was a bit more modern but in an old way if you know what I mean, modern furnishings but in an old manner. They even had a reading room due that Bohemians used to come here to socialise and discuss art and literature, just up my ally for such an intellectual as myself.

The reading room

Being a culture vulture I loved the fact that the whole of the first floor was dedicated to the worlds greatest poet and fellow Welshman, Dylan Thomas.

 

 

In the alcoves they had many many books for you to read as you sipped your pint and most were to do with Dylan Thomas. Among those great authors and novels was a true great, a king amongst literal geniuses, see if you can spot the true great.

 



All over the walls on the way to the most spotless toilets I've ever been in in London there are loads of pictures of famous people from times gone by who are in The Fitzroy along with paper clippings and this great flier.

 Now then I'm not in to UFO or anything like that but on our first night I spotted this strange light in the sky from the bedroom out over London's banking district, its most probably Lord Sugar opening his wallet.

Continuing my visit to rock stars places of interest I've visited most, 100 Club where the Sex Pistols first played, Marquee (no longer there) where most of the big bands first played, Kings Road where Malcolm McLaren had his shop "Sex", Electric Ballroom in Camden, The Intrepid Fox where bands such as Motley Crue, The Clash, Guns n Rose and The Rolling Stones have drank, I could go on but won't bore you.
So this visit it was time for Bowie and Freddie.
Get the tube to Brixton and as you walk up the stairs and out you just step across the street and the David Bowie memorial painting is right there. Its a wonderful thing to see with all the fans messages written around it and what I thought was good was that the local council had put a sheet of Perspex  over it to save it being written on but also keep the messages that had been written around it safe for years to come.

On to the next landmark, Freddie Mercury's house, Garden Lodge. Here it was a little bit sad. Now I don't know who owns it now as it was Freddies long time best friend Mary Austin but all the messages that had been written and stuck to the wall as a London Memorial have all been jet washed off, there is not one evidence of a message left and I would say that's been done only within the last month or two as it has that clean new jet wash look, so all that's left is the door and that's not the original door either, shame, very sad.

On to one of my favourite things, SQUIZZELS, AGGGGHHHHHHHH!
For years now I have wanted to buy a bag of monkey nuts and feed the Squizzels in St. James's Park but always forget to buy the nuts so this time I was on a mission.
one large bag of nuts, CHECK! LETS GO!

It was mad, I was like the Squizzel Whisperer. I held out a nut, they came to me. They'd gently pull my hand lower then take it from me and then without any panic or rush they would just hop off. WOW!
I then watched what they did with the nut. They would dig a small hole, bury it, then fluff the grass up that was over it so you couldn't see if anything was buried there. Wonder if Squizzels have ever murdered anyone?

So I took it a stage further and wondered if they would climb up to collect the nut, and yes they would. I wanted to place one on my shoulder for it to climb up to but then I remember seeing a video of a squizzel climbing inside someones t-shirt, I decided to forget that idea.

Hang on phone is ringing...........................................David Attenborough was on the line wanting to know if I'd take over when he retires.

Didn't really do much else just drank and ate lots of nice food while strolling round a dry sunny London. Never had a rainy day when I stay there, can't fault it and a wonderful time was had by all.

Remember earlier I was saying I'm an intellectual, well to prove this point Wednesday I went to see Stephen Fry reading from his book "Mythos". Its all about Greek Mythology which as you know I studied in high school. What a great evening. He started off with a few funny facts about Wales and then told the story of how the Gods and Titans were born. The way he uses words and speaks is spellbinding I could have sat there for hours and hours listening to him but we only got 2 hours. Then he read a part of his book and broke it down then to finish off he read the story of how the spider was created. Brilliant. Along with seeing the man himself read from his own book we were also given a hardback copy of it, that's my bar reading material for next season sorted.

So another update over but the next update is the one you all been waiting for, The Toys R Us update, along with Depeche Mode in Birmingham and Greg Davies live stand up in Cardiff, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

So until the next fun packed update.................

Serve All. Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!