WOOHOO! I've got something i've wanted for ages!

Well August is over and it was a very good and surprising one, to be honest with you I thought it was going to be a ghost bar what with the prices of holidays but only had 4 quiet nights all month but even those were good so can't complain at all. Also been getting quite a few in from the Klelia Hotel which is good to see as its AI, OK, they don't have many English staying there but the ones who do pop in to the bar so its all good.

 

Helen looking to get over this month mid Sept so that's good, can't wait to see my beautiful girl again, been to long this time, but soon.

 

Little St. Dionysios has been out and carted around town with his normal 5 day festival and main day being the 24th August. That has been the only down point about living in Bochali, bloody St. Dionysios festival, the town streets are packed every night even at 3am, traffic is a nightmare and people just walking out in front of you. On Mon the 26th the streets and pavements were still jam packed then Tuesday, no one, I mean absolutely no one, well, about 20 people i saw out at 3am. One minute on every corner were outdoor souvlaki BBQ grills, doughnut stands, cake stands and grilled corn stands, then Tuesday not even a hot dog wrapper to been seen on the streets. So weird.

 

The 5 day market just gets worse, every year I go and every year I buy less, in fact this year I bought nothing. The clothes on the stalls are cheap for the island but nowhere near as cheap when you've shopped in Primark, yes I shop in Primark and proud of it, they've lasted me much longer than designer clothes I've had and they are 10 times cheaper LOL.

All the stores were tat and tat and tat.

Oooh, that reminds me of a song by Manhattan Transfer " Chanson D'amour, rat-ti-tat-ti-tat", which leads me to a true story. My friends father had 2 heart attacks at the time that song was in the no.1 in the charts, and each time the heart attack happened that song was playing, so when I was in their house this one night, top of the pops was on TV and that song came on the tele, as quick as a flash he got up and left the room to go upstairs, then when he came down that's when he told me the story, so every time it came on the radio or TV he would go out of that room just in case, I have the same thing, when a 1D song comes on somewhere, my bloody pressure rises lol.

 

 

The Manhattan Transfer market stalls, tat-ti-tat-ti-tat.

 

 

 

The very good thing about the market is the food. Cause there are so many stands I never know what to have, so I thought I'd have the lot, 10 mini doughnuts with white chocolate sauce, meat pie, cheese & ham pie and to finish off a vanilla cream pie mmmmmmm,  Doh! I forgot the souvlaki's.

 



Now people have been knocking me for my crumpet creations, come on guys, think outside the box, it doesn't have to be just boring butter on top. So to prove I can actually cook a bit here is a 3 minute boiled egg with crumpets soldiers, crumpet soldiers, what a great idea.

Look at that lovely soft yolk, boiled to perfection.

Here we have a 2 bean chili con carne with homemade gnocchi lightly covered in salted butter.
See I can cook LOL.

Its been so long since I've had this and have been looking for ages but now I've found it and thank god I have. Corned beef, Don't you just love it. In sandwiches, in corned beef hash, in pasties and even fried with onion, that's so good. Now this particular brand I've never heard of before "Universal" but its the only make I have found so I bought a tin....or 3. It was only after I took this pic that I noticed something very disturbing "Product of France" AAAAAgggghhhhhhhh! HORSE MEAT! Never mind it tasted good even if it was.

So what do you do one night if you've made a big bowl of chili the day before and then buy 3 tins of corned beef........have a corned beef and cold chili roll mmmmmmmmm! What? its beef and beef isn't it, corned beef, minced beef, what's the problem? LOL

Now to end this master class in cooking we have this weeks crumpet creation, white pudding grilled topped with tuna and salad cream, I don't know where I get the ideas from but it works. Fine dining, A la carte, Michelin star, fancy food nonsense can kiss my lilly white buttocks.

Mojito, mojito, mojito, that's all I seem to be making lately and I've taken it off my menu this year. People are being told to come and try them by other people who have been in the bar, best form of advertising, word of mouth and cheapest lol.  I'm making so many my mint plants haven't had time to regenerate, that's 12 huge plants so far so I've had to buy another 6 plants and those are quickly being stripped bare, the garden centre loves me.

2 years ago my favourite café in Zakynthos town closed down, the balcony café but 5 days ago it re-opened, woohoo! its now called Bliss art café, it did only used to be upstairs through a small doorway but now they have changed the shop below in to a bar area which I think will make a lot of difference, good luck to them, you'll be getting my money anyway.

As I was riding to work, oooh 4 days ago I think I could see that mount skopos was on fire. It looked like quite a bad one. As I watched there were 3 fire planes constantly circling dropping water on it but being as it was in a valley they had to drop it from quite a height and time was running out as this was 6pm and the planes have to stop when it gets dark at 8.30pm but you'll be pleased to know they got it under control in time, good job guys.

What is it with my bar this year and animals, now I have another lady dog who comes and stays every night. again she is such a pretty well tempered thing and very clean, she's definitely someones pet or has been but no collar. I cant get to attached to this one as "Dog" will get jealous, so I just give her the odd chew but don't give her to much attention. Poor thing. I've called her "Brown", what? To original? LOL

And talking of animals, you'll remember that in the bar I used to have Eddie, Eddie L-Izzard, well now in the house I've got Eddie junior, awww he's only the size of a 2 cent coin, still finding his way in this world.

Unfortunately an hour after that pic was taken Eddie Jnr stopped moving so I gave him a Danish Viking burial, in a Lurpak tub LOL.

Well my fine blog lovers its that time again to bid you farewell and open up the bar for another exciting night. Wish my bloody dongle worked at house, its a nightmare having to write updates in bar as it takes me even longer than normal and its to bloody hot and I can't lay on the sofa while typing it I have to stand up LOL.

Till next week,

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

Mmmmmmm, What wonderful memories!

I know, I know, don't shout, I'm late with my update, its not my fault, I've just been shattered and not been in the right frame of mind to write it and I have to write it in the bar before I open but today I'm as fresh as a daisy and ready to give you another thrilling instalment of the welsh idiot abroad blog LOL.

 

Again this week not done much at all as its still stupid hot and can't wait for the temps to drop a bit so I can get back out on my bike and get to the beach and pool, I miss my doggy paddle up and down the pool but at least by the time I get back out to the pool most of the school children will be back in school, who knows what they are doing in the pool EEEeeewwww! I said pool quite a lot in that section didn't I?

 

Been walking the streets of Zakynthos town looking for a car for Helen (Given up now). Everybody who is selling a car is asking for stupid money, way over priced for what the cars are. There isn't a second hand car showroom over here or if there is its a very well kept secret. So what they do is put little "for sale" yellow notices in their car windows with their telephone number on but no price. How stupid is that? How many calls do you think they get, then when they tell the price the person just hangs up.

 

RING-RING, RING-RING (phone ringing)

"Hello"

"You have a car for sale"

"Yes that's right"

"How much?"

"5000 Euro"

Brrrrrrrrrrr! (phone hung up)

 

Imagine getting 10 calls a day like that, it would drive you crazy. Why don't they just add the price to the for sale sign then people who will actually pay that price will be the only ones to call, its simple really when you think about it.

 

Here is a perfect example of a car for sale, but no price shown. Why?

 

 

 

Sometimes you get something that jogs a certain memory in your life, a wonderful memory that makes you feel good. What am I talking about? Well i was talking with a customer about drinks I wish I could get out here like American cream soda and Dandelion and Burdock and that brought memories flooding back of a little place that used to be in Cardiff in an arcade called David Morgans Arcade and in that arcade was a  Sarsaparilla Bar that did those flavours I mentioned along with many others and they were poured out of beer type taps, then you could add ice cream floats. It was an amazing place with sweets in jars behind the counter, it reminded me of the sweet shop in the original version of Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Wish I was there now, loved it. Happy days.

 

 

Now, I don't really like having my pic taken but I will when asked but I am now the third most photographed thing in my bar, my X-ray is second and Dog is first. Dog is also now more famous than me (not that I was ever famous of course), first thing most people say now who have read my blog is "Where's Dog?" Now I will explain again, Dog isn't mine, I've just adopted her for the season, she belongs to an elderly Greek lady 2 doors up from Oceanic but Dog comes in for her chews and to sleep at night. She is a little cutey though and would dognap her if they didn't x-ray your suitcase LOL.

 

The most famous part of Oceanic, Dog!

 



Now I used to think Strada Marina hotel roof top pool was the best place in town, not anymore. That place is now pretty rubbish compared to this new hotel I've found and its right next to our house, cool. It only opened last week and has an amazing infinity pool that looks out over town, Argassi and Skopos, whats the name of the hotel? Do you really think I'm gonna tell yah, NAH! Its my little haven, so you will have to search for it yourself LOL.

Its my pool, all mine , yahahahahahahahahaa! (evil laugh)

I posted a few weeks back about some tribute acts I had on my agency books, well it looks like the Greeks are getting in on the act. "A tribute to The Legends Tour". Is this a rat pack tribute? Il Divo tribute? Westlife tribute? or 4 Michael Bubbles tribute? Ahh, I think its a tribute to 4 Greek singers but I may be wrong.
Oh yeah, talking of Westlife, when did Stephen Gately from Boyzone kick the bucket? I was talking about my t-shirts with a customer and they said "What about Stephen Gately", firstly I told them he definitely isn't a rock legend and then I said "Is he dead?" What planet have I been living on? Just goes to show I live in my own little bubble. What's that you say, the conservatives are running the country with the lib dems, blimey, next you'll be telling me Prince Harry is a Nazi LOL.

A tribute to which legends I don't know.

 

 

As you know I like my pot noodles either by themselves or in bread rolls (its the future, trust me) but I came across some new pot noodles. On the pot it says "Authentic Asia", now I don't know about you but I don't think many Asian people put noodles in a cardboard pot, boil a kettle and add hot water. In fact I think they most probably add some veg and meat of some sort, not just a tiny sprinkle of herbs, sachet of flavouring and 2 tiny tiny shrimps. It only cost me 97 cents but if I'm being honest it didn't taste of shrimp and noodles were so so, in fact the flavouring added was just chili oil and it just killed any taste it may have had. Back to good old proper Pot Noodle for me.

 

It must be authentic it says on the cardboard pot it is LOL

 

Being as they tasted so bad I decided to add another crumpet creation to my menu, this time its toasted hot crumpets with salted lurpack, cold sliced frankfurters topped off with authentic Asian shrimp noodles, not the best of combinations but I think that was down to the crap pot noodle, don't they look like Jeremy Clarkson LOL.

 

 Wifi, wifi, bloody wifi, I don't even have a TV in the bar so why would I have wifi? Its crazy the amount of people that ask for it, JUST TALK TO PEOPLE NEXT TO YOU! LOL. I will never ever have wifi in my bar. Friends of mine who own bars in different resorts have all said its killed the atmosphere in their bar since they had wifi, people just sit on phones and ipads now all night instead of talking with other customers creating an atmosphere. Also their takings have gone down cause people just go in, buy 1 maybe 2 drinks and sit there all night just using the wifi. The problem with that then is if proper drinking customers come in and the bars full with wifi users they're losing out. So no thank you, the other bars can keep their wifi, I'd prefer to be full with drinkers and socializers than wifi users. Nothings that important you need to log on in every business you enter.

 

August is almost over (thank god) but its been a very good month considering I thought it was going to be rubbish, having a really busy full early 2 hours before 10.30pm then just steady after that and most gone by 12,30am, only had 1 bad night 2 nights ago but even then I hit my target so can't complain at all. T-shirt sales are going to blitz last seasons 268 as we have already hit 237 and 2 months to go. Now I have to start to think of new designs for next season.

 

I've been told I must take pics of my cocktails but to be honest with it being busy I haven't got time to take pics of them once made as I need them out to the customers but i'll try this week.

 

Well once again I've run out of steam for this week, don't forget to look for your picture on the website.

 

http://www.oceanicchilloutbar.com/#

 

I have been a bit slow adding them but keep checking, if I've taken your photo you will be on there.

 

Till next week my sooper dooper blog followers,

 

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

 

 

To much sun is as bad as to much rain, stupid heat!

Hello folks, now don't get me started as its to bloody hot LOL.

So what's been happening, well Helen came over for a week, last minute flight, in fact if it was any last minute she would have been getting on with the pilot. She deserved a break from the UK and work but unfortunately I'm a moody grumpy git at the moment due this stupid heat so its a good job her friend Cassy came with her. Always when the temps get above 34 deg I can't cope, same every season. People say "You must be used to the heat by now", NOPE! You never get used to the heat as your body can only handle certain temps. When your cold its easy to get warm but its more difficult to keep cool when its boiling, also the bar has been manic since beginning of August so rushing around and the heat takes it out of you. I just stay indoors during July and August as I conserve my energy for the bar, always have done, so I wasn't good company for Helen I'm afraid to say, so a big apology goes out to Helen for me being such an ass, Roll on Sept when its cooler and I'll be happier.

Our house is starting to look like a jungle outside again but there is no way I'm doing gardening in this heat, in fact there is no way I'm doing gardening full stop, hate gardening, always have done. I say patio slab everything and have just cactus, simple and easy, bloody flowers and grapes, whats the point? LOL

On the way home every night I've seen this little café bar called "Zantino" its on the hill leading up to our house in Bochali. It doesn't open during the day as its a late night place staying open till 7am serving pizza and pasta dishes. I was told by a zakynthian friend that at one time it was the most famous place on the island, how long ago that was I don't know. So one night as myself and Helen were riding home I decided to stop off for a quick drink, a nightcap shall we say LOL. What a lovely place. Now I'm not just saying its lovely cause it looks similar to Oceanic, its lovely as they have loads of little quirky items scattered all around the seating areas. Everywhere you looked there was something unusual which was so nice. Chilled out Greek music playing the background and just somewhere that made you feel relaxed, which to be honest in this heat and after a crazy night in bar it was just what I needed also it was nice to have just a quiet drink with Helen as its always just in Oceanic with other customers and friends.

Zantino Café Bar

So where does it say on the outside of my bar "FREE SHOTS" or "FREE BEER"? Well for the first time ever in 7 years at Oceanic a group of 9 people were asking for those things before even 4 of them had stepped inside. As they walked in I asked as I do "How many of you are there?" At this point in time I only had 3 chairs free so had to get emergency chairs out. The reply came from a woman of about 50 "Do we get free shots?" this wasn't said in a joking manner but very rude manner. I answered politely "Sorry folks, nothing for free in this bar". I asked again "Right, how many are you?", a gent replied "Us", i asked again "How many are you as I need to get you seats", same gent said "another 30 coming" of course this was a lie he was just being funny. I counted 9 and got 6 emergency chairs out and made space for them to sit down. Another gent said "Do we get free beer?" I replied again "Nothings for free is this bar I'm afraid". He came back with "What if we all have a drink?" again my answer "Nothing for free in this bar" At this point, the heat was starting to make my calm self start to boil and in my head I was screaming but outside I was as cool as Cool Hand Luke LOL.
I said to the group "Sit yourselves down and I'll be with you in a minute just got one order to finish off". The oldest gent stood at bar and said " 2 beers", I smiled and said " take a seat and I will come and get your order now". He continued to stand and said louder "2 BEERS", no please or thank you which bugs me big time but not only that the way he said it was very rude. I smiled again and said " just one moment and I'll take your order, sit down, its all table service". The group of 9 all used the toilets then got up and left. Not a problem for me, my loss (if it was a loss) is another bars gain.

Well we're past the half way point and this season is looking very good up till today but I still take each day as it comes as I always do. I am really looking forward to getting back to UK though, strange to say I know but got so much to look forward to after a hectic season, Toys R Us (love my job there), going to Bath for new year ( not as in bath with water but Bath the place), learning to drive (Christmas present off Helen) and Depeche Mode in Birmingham in Jan with my world watched actor nephew Leighton Kyle, maybe a medical trial thrown in for good measure. Now in saying all that I think October is going to be very very quiet, most of the eastern European tour companies finish the end of Sept and 4 UK airports with certain tour companies are not flying out to the island for the whole of Oct so tourism is going to be way down but for me Oct is a bonus, even if I get 30€ its mine in my pocket, after tax of course.

My blog readers have to be the kindest and best customers any bar can get. I have had an overload of crumpets, black and white pudding and even a haggis, really looking forward to trying that. I've had so much brought out that my freezer is packed just with the food parcels I've been given, so thank you so so much for all the food parcels I am so grateful and your all very generous. I never knew there was so many different kinds of Crumpet, flat ones, normal ones, square toasting ones and even soldier ones for dipping in your boiled egg, mmmmmmm soft runny yolk.

Those pics remind me of Nothing To Declare on TV, looks like a customs seizure photos LOL.

Another Kevlar crumpet creation, Hot crumpet with salted lurpak, topped with grilled black pudding and cold beans, yess, cold beans. Lovely.

Well my lovely lovely blog followers its time to open the bar, yes I'm in bar writing this as connection is so crap at house, stupid dongle connection. Will try to get out and about for some pics for nest update but I'm not promising anything as its way to hot.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar out!

Here comes the heat, GOOD GOD, thats all we need!

Well hello and welcome to another rip roaring, thrilling, roller coaster of an update.

 

July is over, HOORAY. Now we have August, BOOOooooo! Now in saying that July ended up not being to bad at the beginning and was very happy with the end, the middle was a bit hit and miss but overall very good. Now the dreaded August, temps sky high, bar usually quiet during early opening hours and its just all round a horrid month and has been every season past but we take each day as it comes.

 

While I was out and about I went to have a look how the first bar I ever drank in on the island was doing and its closed. I stayed in Tsilivi in 2000 for 6 weeks and used to drink in a bar that was then called "Tizzy's". It was only a little bar but cosy and friendly. I see from the sign someone else must have taken it over at some point and called it "Rondavue", now the spelling for "to meet" is "Rendezvous" so I'm guessing it was 2 guys named Ron and Dave that had it by the name or the owners just couldn't spell LOL. Shame to see it empty and in such a mess.

 

 When I passed through Tsilivi I was on my way to one of my fave pools at the hotel Tsamis in Kipseli. I arrived, got my ice tea and a sweet frappe with milk and proceeded to my sun lounger. Now this hotel must have about just 2% British that stay there and what do I see when I look over down to the lower pool, the best looking flag in the world, the Welsh flag. Well, its a towel but with the welsh flag on it. You have to agree it is an impressive flag and I haven't seen one better. Maybe there is one out there somewhere that's better but I haven't seen it, yet.

Also on the point of towels which are flags, what is it with the Brits that seem to be the only nation that has towels with the flags on? All the pools I've ever been to in 13 years I've never, and I mean never seen another nations flag as a towel, just us Brits. It almost seems like "I'm claiming this sunbed for Britain", its about all we have got at the moment LOL.

 

A proud sight indeed.

And here is a holiday pic of me at the Tsamis infinity pool.

Well the amphitheatre in town seems to have something on every night over the past month and I saw this poster. its "The Full Spiros". Its a play about 5 guys who work in the feta industry that have fallen on hard times due to the economic crisis in Greece so the start up a strip act. Ladies this one could be just what your looking for on holiday.

Now I love my food as you all know, so I was very intrigued when I saw a packet of snacks named after a fictional TV character from the 70's/80's who was a rocker/biker from the 50's. Fonzies. What the .....? Does Fonzies mean something different it Greece? Wasn't it strange that Fonzie was a biker/rocker but never had a beer or bourbon, just a soda pop. Also I never saw him eat a flavoured wheat snack just a burger at Al's. OOOooohh, and weren't we all in shock when Fonzie did that motorcycle jump out side Al's and crashed, OH MY GOD HE'S DEAD! No, he's OK, we'll carry on for another 10 years until Fonzie turns off the light at Al's for the very last time.
Anyway, sorry, I was rambling there. These snacks basically are Nik Naks, that's it, nothing new but they did taste rather good, so, put a Fonzie in your mouth, HEY! COOL-A-MONDO!

After my distress signal for Black/White pudding and crumpets I was brought a new supply from Ireland by a lovely lady called Donna. She didn't want money for them either but I couldn't accept them without giving Donna something for her kindness so they had a Lemon Cheesecake and a Banoffee Pie cocktail. Thank you so much your a star.
By the way I ate them all within 2 days of arrival.
Black and white pudding needed. STOP. Also crumpets. STOPS. LOL

In my house I get many little creatures due to my garden being a national park. On this one occasion I had to reach for the fly/ant/mozzie spray. After killing an insect that sort of looked like a small scorpion only with 10 legs each side I noticed the name of the spray "Mr. Fist". I think it may need a bit of a tweak and re-branding.

I think I may have said before that when pulling up to my house I've seen, mice, rats, snakes, cats, dogs, owls and even a huge rabbit but look at this fatty of a lizard. This lizard stays around my nightlight outside and must feed so well. I can only explain the size of him by his stomach being the width of one of those large commemorative coins you could get for the queens jubilee. Fat greedy bugger indeed.

So each update now I will be adding my favourite tavernas that I eat in. I did this last season but thought I would update it for the new followers and for the people who are due out here soon. This first one is called "Amoroza" its off the main Alexander Roma shopping street, near Filion Café close to St. Marcos Square. Best lamb kleftiko I've had since 1995 in Crete. The place isn't much to look at but the food is so good. The owner is Zakynthian but had been in America for 30 years and came back to the island 2 years ago. Try it and try the village sausage, lovely.

 

Well my little followers that's all for this week, I know its a little late but its just been way to hot and I'm absolutely shattered at the moment, roll on the cooler days and nights, and I'm ashamed to say it, maybe a bit of rain, but not much.

 

So until next week folks,

 

Serve All, Love All, Peace All. Kevlar Out!

I'm branching out, The Oceanic Tribute Act Agency.

Good day folks, how you all doing? Phew, isn't it hot? I hear its hot in the UK also, yeah but don't forget, YOU GOT WORK, LOL!

OK, so, the UK can't cope with the cold, the UK can't cope with snow and now the UK can't cope with heat. Is the UK good with any weather apart from rain, the UK loves rain just no other climate, I've seen on Sky News there are weather warnings as its 31deg, WOW, how will you cope eh! The information given is, Use Sun Screen - that's not really information that's common sense, Drink lots of fluids - Again you don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out, Use water sparingly - Here we go I can feel a hose pipe ban coming on and one reporter said "some roads are melting", GOOD, it may fill in the pot holes left from the freezing winter we had.
Come on, really, people don't know what to do when that big yellow thing in the sky comes out? I know you don't see it much in the UK but most have been on holiday abroad at some point in temps much higher than what the UK is getting at the moment. When does the UK not have weather warnings?
Bloody hell, here we've not dipped below 24deg since 26th April, had in total only 30 mins of rain since April and people are watering the roads to stop dust from getting in their businesses.
So my question is, on a small island, with mostly sun and hot weather for 8 months of the year, how come I've never known a water shortage on Zakynthos but in the UK it pours down for 10 months and after 3 weeks of sun there is a panic about water?

It seems the bars over here are looking for new ways to get people in to them and tribute acts seem to be the way (Well its newish here but years and years old everywhere else). Out here this season we have Michael Jackson, Elvis, Showaddywaddy and Michael Bubble (yes I know I've spelt it wrong). So going along these lines for next season I'm starting "The Oceanic Tribute Act Agency". I think I'm on to a winner here. I came up with the idea after seeing that Ricky Gervais was appearing here live again this season only this time its a musical tribute concert with Jason Statham, its called "Chas n' Dave - The Rabbit Tour" its their tribute act to that world famous duo.

I may have to close the bar for this one, posters are all around Zakynthos town.

So I've done some phoning around and already got 5 acts lined up for hire next season. If you remember a few years ago I went down the west country and saw some tribute acts down there, well you'll be pleased to know they're all on board and excited for the 2014 season. I can't wait myself, its about time this island had some real talent doing the circuits, so let me introduce to you with delight and joy my first 5 signings and many more to follow.

Pour some sugar on me with the sweet sound of Geoff Leopard.

Jake That, if you missed Take That on tour this is the next best thing

If you like the songs of Iron Maiden but want to listen to them a bit more laid back then Brian Maiden's your man

 Deservedly voted the 5th best Pet Shop Boys Tribute act in Bristol, classic Pet Shop Boys but without the huge electric bill.

If you like to gamble baby he's your man.

So if there are any bar owners on the island reading this looking for some real class acts, show stoppers, bar fillers, just drop me a line.

Well in 2007 the cocktail of the season was the Paradise City cocktail, in 2008 it was my Snickers cocktail (no longer available, only on very special 24 hour request), in 2009 it was the Lemon Cheescake cocktail, 2010 it was the year of the Turkish Delight cocktail, 2011 was a Mojito year, 2012 was The devastating Oceanic Rock Legend Cocktail and this year its the year of the Cosmopolitan, I am making so many of these this season that some nights I run of shakers and martini glasses to serve them in, Never fear, I will invest in some more this week.
Also I have another new cocktail to add to the menu its called "Smells like teen Spirit" its a little bit lethal but been told it tastes great.

So I forgot to say, well done to the Wales for beating  the Australians in the rugby union test series, oh and the Irish, Scottish and English helped a little LOL. Just look at the stats, I say no more.

So Wills and Kate have had a baby boy, another mouth to feed off our taxes, another child wanting a free holiday space as they travel around the world. I suppose it has created another job vacancy, Nanny Wanted LOL.

Not much more to post this week, bar is ticking over quite nicely so its all good, Going to try to take a trip out and about on Sunday so hopefully will have some nice pics of the island for you.

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

P.S, Major crisis. Stop. Out of black pudding and crumpets. Stop. White pudding also needed if possible. Stop. LOL

Charlie the 3 legged Dog, Gone but never forgotten.

Update time is here at last!

 

I start this update with very sad news, Charlie the 3 legged Dog of Old Kalamaki has gone to that great big comfortable dog kennel in the sky, awwww! Ever since I first opened Oceanic in 2007 I only knew Charlie with having 3 legs but he was a lovely happy little dog who would hop up and down the old road with his little ears flapping as he did so. He would always pop in to the bar for a rest, a little water and the odd dog chew. I remember when he got attacked by a horrible nasty dog who had Charlie by the throat, I went out and whacked the dog across its back with a wooden broom handle that was attacking him, the dog ran off screaming but it didn't seem to have faze Charlie, he just got up and continued on his way where as most dogs go in to a state of shock after a attack. He really was a cutey and I saw him once or twice at the beginning of this season but he was very tired when he got as far as my bar. Charlie, all of my customers and old Kalamaki will miss you, sleep well little buddy.

 

Charlie Dog.

 



So on with the update. I have got so much to tell you all I can't even remember half of it.
So lets start with the season first. My dreaded July and August are here. As you know from this blog over the years I hate these months.
The Wonder Months starring Fred Savage as Kevin (play Joe Cockers - With a little help from my friends as you read on).
I remember these months well, looking back over the past 6 years they are months of wonder and surprise, I wonder if anyone is going to come in and surprised when they do. As I sit in the bar reading my autobiographies, watching the eastern Europeans walking by in their Speedos, bum bags and flip flops at 8.30pm I try to figure out what country they are from by the accents but being as I have never had a Romanian, Russian, Polish or Czech tourist in my bar I've never known what the accents sound like for these countries, so trying to match a accent to a country is pointless, so I give up and just stare in wonder and some of the fashion statements they make as I read "I'm Alan Partridge" or "Bear Grylls - Mud, sweat and tears". Those crazy eastern Europeans and their wacky clothing, don't you just love them. As you all know from my previous blog entries these 2 months are usually my quietest months but again this July isn't looking to bad up until today but still quieter than May and June. But I'm not complaining at all, at least I get 4 busy months instead of just the 2 high season months. Over the past seasons I've sat there alone some nights till 10.30pm but so far this July I've had quite a few in early every night so that's a bonus. I've also got some fantastic news for you all about next season but I'm going to leave you all in suspense till October to tell you, your all going to be so happy, well most of you will be LOL.

I was asked during the winter by Lee and Emma if I would perform a renewal of vows ceremony in the bar for them, I was delighted and honoured that they asked me and of course I said NO! Only joking I said yes. So I dusted of my bible, sorted out my sermon and set up the bar ready for the ceremony. At this point for those of you who didn't already know, I have been ordained as a Reverend, Rock Rev Kev at your service for renewal of vows, christenings and exorcisms.
Little did I know but on the night of the ceremony the bar was heaving, I had a group of 11 come in at 8pm and that's without my regulars who were here and all the new regulars from this season, so the ceremony was meant to be around 9.30-10pm but couldn't actually start until 10.30pm due to drinks orders that kept coming and coming. I won't lie to you, I was a little nervous as I hadn't done a renewal of vows for 2 years, the last act I had performed was an exorcism on Derek Acorah.

Derek Acorah during the exorcism

And after I'd worked my magic

Think I preferred him when he was possessed LOL


I told Lee and Emma I wouldn't be wearing my reverend dog collar as my customers know me for being a happy, jokey guy and if I had gone in to the back and come out wearing the dog collar they would have laughed their heads off. So I decided against it for this ceremony. I had visions of me being like the stuttering vicar played by Rowan Atkinson in "Four weddings and a funeral" (lets be truthful here, it was a absolute crap film). I got the bars attention and proceeded with the sermon and to my amazement it all went smoothly, my local Greek friends around me couldn't believe what they were seeing, me, little old balding, welsh, short ass as a reverend, when all they've known me as is the crazy welsh bar owner who sprints across the road 20 times a night LOL. The night was so good and Lee and Emma looked lovely together and everyone enjoyed it till the early hours, it really was one of the best nights I've had in the bar.

During the sermon, Lee and Emma just sat chillin while i'm having a squeaky bum time ha ha

Lee and Emma taking their renewed vows, good pic this, doesn't show my bald patch, well its more of a wasteland now than a patch LOL

A few days later it was Helen and my turn to have our wedding blessing at my good friends Georges Taverna or as its called "Kanalos Taverna". I won't lie to you up until the actually day it was a lot of rushing around and pain in the ass but the day itself was amazing. We had 54 guests who were made up of friends who had come over from the UK and local Greek friends. Frangiska our wedding planner was the most helpful person you could meet and really is a great planner, she listens and does as you want without trying to force things on you or push extras on you just to make money like a few of the others I've heard about. If anyone is reading this and is thinking of getting married out here Frangiska is the person to use. I have been to quite a few weddings out here over my 13 years on the island organised by other planners and to be honest found a few of them to be a bit over the top or tacky looking. Myself and Helen just wanted a low key traditional style wedding blessing without all the show and plastic flowers and that is exactly what Frangiska gave us and the setting at Georges over looking Marathonisi Island (Turtle island) was perfect. The good thing about having it at Georges was we could have the ceremony and the wedding reception at the same venue unlike other places on the island where its ceremony in one location then having to ship everybody off to a second location for food.
Here is Frangiskas website, if you contact her just say "Kevin from Oceanic recommended you"
www.zantedreamweddings.com

The ceremony and priest were excellent, in fact they were both better than our UK wedding but the heat was a bit unbearable in a suit, shirt and tie.
George had set up the tavern lovely to seat all 54 of us with place settings and water.
The meal started with drinks, bread and Tatziki with bowls of salad and plates of feta cheese, then I ordered wine for every guest. Out came loads and loads of Souvlaki, mountains of them and home made fresh chips with oregano sprinkled on top. For afters George brought out plates of sliced apple drenched in honey and cinnamon mmmmmm, nice.
I didn't actually eat anything as I never eat so close to starting work as I can't rush around if full but George sent 20 souvlaki home for me. In fact never sat down all the time I was there, think that's the bar owner part of me kicking in LOL.
There was more than enough food for 54 and everybody enjoyed it with many saying they were the best souvlaki they had had in Kalamaki, so well done George. Nearly all our guests didn't even know the tavern existed and everyone said they would go back next season when here.
It really was a great day and now for the thank you.
I would like to thank George first for setting up such a lovely spread for so many people as its only a little taverna and he did brilliant, next Frangiska for listening and delivering exactly what we asked for and not forgetting all the 54 guest some of who had booked especially to come out just for our blessing which we both really appreciate, finally thank you for all the gifts and cards, it will be a day that will stay in our hearts and minds forever and all our friends made that day perfect for us, thank you so much.

So now the boring part, pics LOL.

Weddings don't always have to be serious and boring. I think at this point we were laughing as I was meant to say "Yes, I do" but didn't click in my pea sized brain so frangiska had to prompt me by nodding at me.

As you can see from this pic I think the setting is better than any other wedding I've been to on the island just because of the view out over Marathonisi Island.

Now you didn't think I'd go without having a pic on my bike did you, James Bond Skyfall looking LOL

The mountain of Souvlaki served to us, that's not even half of them.

The hero of the day, George.

 

Feeding the 5000, well 54 LOL

 

All empty plates, nice to see.

Now here comes the amazing part, with food and drink for 54 people and Frangiskas fee for the wedding it only came to..........wait for it.............650€. I had put 1500€ aside for everything so I was amazed at the final cost. Now that is good value for an amazing day.

The after blessing bash at the bar, as you can see back to normal self, well, I can't make cocktails in a suit can I.

Now some people say i'm short, don't be fooled by this pic, I am in fact 6'5" but these guys 7'5" and 8' so that's why I look so short. Valley of the giants LOL.

When I went back to pay George 2 days later he asked me to bring back on the Sunday my friends for a meal and drinks on him as a thank you. Where else would you get that hospitality. Most had gone home by this time so we invited 9 of our friends to join us and the food was lovely once again. We started with Greek salad, then beef stifado with pasta and the beef was as tender as could be and loads of it, I had 8 pieces, big pieces and Sam cleared up any that was left as George had cooked so much, for afters we had apples, honey and cinnamon and after all that we were asked if we wanted ice cream or yogurt plus all the drinks were free. After the meal we were all stuffed and agreed to all put 5€ each in for George. Now George would have been offended if I had tried to pay for the food as he had offered it as a thank you so I had to put it to him it wasn't for the food, the money was for his time and effort. In the end he reluctantly accepted the money but there was no way I was walking away from there without him taking something as he didn't have to go out of his way for us by making all that food.

The Last Supper, sorry I mean The Last Sunday Lunch LOL

No as you know I'm not one for eating in the tourist restaurants, don't get me wrong they do nice food but the little local places are better in my opinion. Last week I took Helen to a hotel I visited in Kipseli at the end of last season called Tsamis Hotel and we saw a little sign for a fish tavern. I like to try new places to eat so after a few hours by the hotel pool we headed off to find it, which in fact wasn't that far away from the hotel. It was an old beaten up looking place but usually I've found these types of places do the best food as its all fresh. The menu only had 2 pages, one was salads and sides the other fish and meat, that was it.
We ordered Greek salad, Saganaki, Sardines and Squid. They were all soooooo good. If the squid and sardines had been any fresher they would have been flapping around on our plate.
The only thing that concerned me was the light in the taverna was hooked up to a gas bottle as it was the old Tilley gas lamp like you used to get poisoned by in caravans many years ago. This is why I love the island so much, its not the resorts or the beaches, its the little hidden treasures that I come across when I'm out and about, if you don't explore and aren't adventurous in eating out then you miss out on so many lovely places.

Can't remember its name but will definitely go back at some point but its near Tsamis Hotel, Kipseli.

Love the old fashioned décor, Kalamaki needs somewhere rustic like this.

So what else has gone on, loads and loads I know but my memory is getting worse as each month passes but then again the past 3 weeks has been a tornado going at 100mph so no wonder I've forgotten so much.
Well I've been sat here now for 15mins and still can't remember what I wanted to write so it will have to wait till the next update, that's if I've remembered by then which I doubt it.

So until next week my lovely lovely readers,

Serve All, Love All, Peace All, Kevlar out!