And so the stress begins LOL!

Hello from Kalamaki. So lets begin from the beginning, that's always a good place to start i think.

Woke up 7.30am on Wed 28/3/12 got ready and headed off with Helen to see my mum and to make sure all my things were boxed up ready for shipping to Zakynthos. Waved goodbye to my family and headed off to train station with Helen. Was very difficult leaving this year as i need to be in the UK for Helen to make sure she's ok but i have a long term contract that i've signed and i will honour that contract no matter what happens, what's the point in signing a contract if your going to run out on it and after the 5 amazing seasons I've had I'd be stupid not to open up. Helen gave me her blessing to go back so that helped alot.

Got on the train with my packed lunch and off i went at 10.30am CHOO, CHOO! I love going on trains, you can just relax and watch the world go by. Change at Reading and off to Gatwick where i had a hotel room booked for the night as my flight was 5.45am the next day. Now on the way from Reading i went through a place called Dorking Deepdene, what a great name, wish i lived there. Got to airport at 2.45pm then shuttle bus to hotel for 3pm. Very nice newly refurbished hotel right next to airport. I asked for a top floor room facing the airport so i could watch the planes land and take off, SAD GIT!

The view from my room, plane spotting here i come.

I text Helen to ask her where the nearest bar was as i fancied sitting outside in the sun with a pint. Nearest pub was in the South Terminal which is indoors, i was at the north. so i decided to give the hotel bar a go. God, what a dull place, very boring decor and a huge TV showing "The Chase" quiz show. Barman looked as though he was auditioning for Eastenders as he was as miserable as sin and had as much personality as the bust of Queen Victoria in the Queen Vic. Now i don't know if its just a London thing or all down south but does anyone know how to poor a pint of bitter with a head? I ordered a pint of Boddies Smooth Creamflow and got something that ressembled the last specimen i gave to Simbec Medical center LOL.

What the hell is this meant to be?

Anyway i drank it as i had nowhere else to go then headed back to my room. got about 90mins sleep in all but still glad i got a room.

3am up and ready to go. The airport was quite busy but i hate the new system that airports have now where it just says "All Easyjet destinations", its chaos. There was a queue that snaked along 10 rows. then because Malaga and Zakynthos were first flights to leave they started calling all passengers from those flights to the front. Can you imagine the mayhem of all those people having to push past everyone else with their cases. There were 12 fifty something Del Boys all with their bling and golf bags trying to get through for the Malaga flight, you can imagine the language when they started pushing through LOL

Straight through, a quick large rose wine and on to the plane. The plane was half empty but thats OK as i got 3 seats to myself, lovely! Last year on my flight i had loud groups of guys and girls all heading to the island looking for work, this year peace and quiet apart from one noisey child, GGRRRRR!. We were flying in over the center of the island and as i looked down i could see loads of flooded land, they looked more like paddy fields than olive groves. I was later told it was like this because they had had so much rain this winter and only just this week its been nice for a few days on the trot.

Dropped my bags in to apartment and headed off out to see whats going on, Nothing! Not even just one supermarket open. About 3 businesses in the resort were being worked on, the rest were all shut up from last season. Quite a few have been up for sale over the winter it seems from the signs on them but that doesn't mean they won't open but we will have to see in the last week of April when most start to get ready.

Got to Oceanic and WOW! I have a new roof and its huge compared to the last one and better built and with proper walls on the one side.

My beautiful new roof, isn't it posh LOL.

Now then, Cause now i have a posh leak proof roof i will have to build a new bar area outside and sort the floor out, again. Also those white plant pots you see in the pic at the front are going so it will be a nice open space with easy access to get in. So the whole bar is having a refurb, new tables and hopefully new sofas, sofas may be in June though ready for high season. Inside is getting a make over also and i have new wall and ceiling art to go along with all the rock memorabilia. Toilets will also be having a nice freshen up. So lots to do before the 1st of May. Got my bikes up and running then headed back to apt for an early night, got to sleep about 11pm Thurs after being up since 7.30am Wed.

After a good sleep to catch up it was off to do my paperwork (OH JOY), First to accountant and all good there as i had paid up full at the end of last season. Picked up my electric bill and had a shock as now they have added a one off tax to the electric bill of between 150-400€, my bill when i come back is usually about 200€ for all winter standing charges and such like, this year 481€, Ive been robbed LOL. Time to get my music licence sorted and that was about the same as last year so that's good but now a new law has come in (surprise, surprise). You have to get a builder to draw up a plan of your bar to show where your speakers are. YOUR HAVING A LAUGH! That will cost another 100€, the lengths they'll go to to get back money for this loan haha. So that's extra money on your electric bill and money for speaker plan, can't wait to see what else they've come up with. Forgot to say on top of all this running around from office to office and having little added surprises my bike ran out of petrol in the middle of nowhere and had to push it about a mile until i found a petrol station. Forgot my bike out here doesn't have a fuel gauge like my one at home, bugger!

When i went in to town to see my accountant i could only get to it via one bridge as the main bridge in to town over smelly river has collapsed on the one side so its closed while their trying to fix it. Thought i saw a hole in it last season but didn't think anything of it as all the roads have holes in them LOL.

The crumbling bridge over smelly river in Zakynthos town.

Now i'm back in my apt at 4.30pm after running around with paperwork and getting myself a Spar cooked chicken for later, MMMMMM! Think I'll head off in to town for a coffee before the sun goes down. Well thats it for now. Nothing to do tomorrow and Sunday apart from clean bar ready for painting so i will take a ride around the resorts to see whats going on elsewhere. Then Monday i have the dreaded trip to the hospital for my 5 yearly medical check, i may be traumatised by the end of monday haha.

This year i will be launching my designer t-shirt range "Oceanic Rock Legend Collection" They look pretty good on the mock up design and there are 12 different designs to choose from. Versace, Armani, WATCH OUT!

so now its back to a weekly update so until next Friday its goodbye from the island.

At last, i got time to update my blog, Yeehaa!

Now, you all know that i used to live in London and work in Harrods and Selfridges back in 1991 so its no surprise that London is one of my favourite places so that's why i try to go back as often as possible and every time i enjoy it as much as the last. Firstly i went with Helen. I booked a hotel in Covent Garden and had a wonderful view from our hotel room of the Gerkin and St. Pauls Cathedral, we were on the 8th floor. We went for 2 nights and on the first day it was horrible weather, got there at 3pm so we watched Ireland v France 6 nations rugby in the pub then headed off to Chinatown for a proper Chinese meal at New China restaurant, its the best Chinese feast i've ever had with the best service in a Chinese. Stuffed, contented and tired we headed back to the hotel and crashed out. Monday we were up bright, early and refreshed with a lovely sunny day so we headed off to Camden Town so Helen could go to the market. We got there a bit early and a warm drink was needed, off to Starbucks. The market stalls opened and off we went. Its been a while since i had been to Camden Market and had forgot how good it was, loads of retro shops and all sorts of little bizarre stalls and shops, brilliant!

My favourites shop was Cyberdog, This shop was amazing, unfortunately you couldn't take pictures inside but it was like a science fiction film all weird and wonderful designs on clothing, ornaments and decor. Could have spent a fortune in there but i was very reserved with my wallet, NO NOT TIGHT, reserved LOL.

There is so much i could talk about to do with Camden i could go on and on so we'll move on to the afternoon, more retail therapy, for Helen. Walked to Regent Street and Oxford Street, at this point shops were starting to all look the same. Off to the pub for me where i won £10 on a Quiz machine, Mastermind here i come. Now then i thought i was seeing things but all around London they have placed giant Easter eggs, 200 of them, on the streets, in shop windows, in arcades and if your that bored you can try to find them all, no thanks! I must have walked Helen easily about 20 miles, the poor girl was close to dropping. We headed back to the hotel after being out around London for 10 hours. Ahhhh, shoes off, that's a good feeling.

This isn't one of the giant eggs, this is a normal egg, it's just Helen's short LOL

Tuesday morning we had 4 hours to kill so i dragged poor achy Helen down to the Embankment and over to St. Paul's Cathedral, along The Strand and in to Trafalgar Square (sounds like a game of Monopoly) then back to Covent Garden.

Saw a few famous people, Sarah Millican - Comedienne, Robert Glenister - Actor - The Hustle, Simon Lipkin - Actor - Lonny in Rock of Ages and a personal hero of mine Richard Blais from an American cooking reality show called Top Chef. He is the most amazing chef i've seen, he come runner up in his season but then went on to win Best of the Best Top Chef, i was so amazed to see him walk by me i was to afraid to ask for a photo, gutted!

Time to head home but not without my Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, another wonderful weekend in London.

One week later, I'm off to London, AGAIN! This time with my world famous actor nephew Leighton Kyle. Now when i go with Helen its a shopping, famous people spotting and sight seeing trip with my nephew its a large pub crawl. I took him to a few he hadn't been to.

So started off in The Roundhouse where we watched the first half of England v France 6 nations rugby, on to O'neills in Chinatown for the second half, they all seemed to be supporting France in there, wonder why LOL. Game over, England win, just, BOOOOOO!

Now my nephew is a fine actor and loves the books of Sherlock Holmes so where do you think we went next? yep, The Sherlock Holmes Pub where he was like a kid in a candy shop. We discussed the actors who have played Sherlock Holmes over the years and Leighton wouldn't budge on good old Basil Rathbone, me, i like the Mr. Downing Jr version, at this point we rolled up our sleeves, held up our fists and had a gentleman's fight with the landlord as the ref with his big curly moustache. Sorry i was drifting off in to the days of Sherlock Holmes, the last bit didn't really happen haha.

We took a break from the pubs just for a little while and headed over to the Trocedero Centre to have a go in the amusement arcade, It was shut. OFF TO PUB!

Punch & Judy was next on our list as we both visit here on our travels to London as you can watch the street entertainers in Covent Garden from the balcony of the bar, good music, good company, crap street artist. Time for a rock bar.

The Roadhouse (No not the one where Patrick Swayze once worked as a bouncer) Happy Hour on drinks, AT LAST, a drink under £5. We had gone on a night where they had a Bar Flare competition about to start. I must say only 1 out of the 5 barmen from across London was any good. He only dropped 1 bottle and spilt hardly any drink, as for the other 4 if i was their boss they wouldn't have hardly any wages left at the end of the night as they dropped so many bottles & shakers and spilt loads, they were bloody awful. Now forgive me if i'm wrong but when did Justin Bieber become a rock god? The DJ was also shite just for the fact he played Mr. Bieber in a rock bar, he may have thought it was funny, mate trust me, no one was smiling or laughing, god help this poor soul of a crap DJ.

We were starting to flag a bit and also feeling bloated on liquid so we took a walk back to the hotel and went to find another rock bar on the way. From out of the blue came The Intrepid Fox. Wow, this place was hell on earth with rock music, we loved it. Real dark dirty looking place, rock posters everywhere, Gothic decor and very hard rock music, perhaps a little to hard for our liking but we enjoyed it all the same. Shame we found it right at the very end of the night. There was a down point to this bar. The bar staff, i went to ask for a song as the one skinny goth barman was looking through the music on the computer. I placed one foot behind the bar and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, shoved me with both hands in the chest and said "f**k off from behind the bar", i was amazed. I replied "What you say to me?" then the second barman, a short hobbit looking french guy with a face full of piercings did the same, shoved me in the chest and said "f**k off out", I replied with very calm blue verbalige that i was requesting a lovely tune to be played in their establishment, at this point they put away their handbags and returned to the knuckle dragging position LOL. We stayed for another drink after that but i refused to buy a t-shirt from them, their loss.

On the way home we were feeling a bit peckish so we got a large Domino's Pizza each, went back to the room, stuffed them in our now even larger bellies and drifted off in to a loud snore LOL.

The weird and wonderful Intrepid Fox.

Back to home and its official, Helen and i live in the wettest place in the UK, possibly the world. This isn't a water logged field this the river that flows through Carmarthen that broke its banks only just last week. Are you happy down South with your hosepipe ban, we got all your water, for god sake take some of it back and let us have a drought for once.

"Water, Water everywhere, and we're bloody sick of it" LOL

Now i bet you thought i'd forgotten my beloved title winning Welsh Rugby team, Triple Crown winners, RBS 6 nations tournament winners and of course, The Grand Slam. The best welsh side i've seen play since the 70's and the average age of the team is only 25 with most being under 25, the future looks bright for Welsh rugby, Well done our boys!

Well up to date now in all thats gone on over the last 3 weeks. Next update will be from Zakynthos as i arrive there very soon. So until then, look after yourselves and each other. Byyyeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

WALES, WALES, WALES!

Where's your chariots now? LOL Anyway its been way to long since my last update and after a few beers i can't do one now but will definately do one this week. So what delights do you have to look forward to, well, Wales Grand Slam win, me working for a nationwide household store, Helen and i going to London visiting lots of shops and my world famous actor nephew Leighton Kyle and i going to London visiting lots of bars. So i shall keep you all up to date next week.

Wales, Wales, Wales. COME ON!

My monthly rant and the usual stupid stuff!

So its that time of the month, no women not that time, well maybe, as its Kev's rant of the Month.

Rant 1/ I was angered this week by an over weight gentleman from Wales who thought it was unfair that he had to pay for surgery for him to lose weight and not be able to get the operation done on the NHS. Now then, he was 50 stone which is over weight in any ones book, he didn't have a medical problem that caused this weight gain, he actually ate himself up to that weight. So from what i read in the papers and the documentary that i saw its his own fault for eating so much food, in which cause i think the NHS was right to not let him get surgery, he created the problem, he sorts out the problem.

Rant 2/ Whitney Houston, an amazing artist with a truly wonderful voice last real hit 1999. Whitney Houston, Drug abuser, used everything including crack cocaine, overdosed, move on.

Rant 3/ I'm very well mannered and was brought up to respect my elders. I let pensioners on public transport before me even if i was first, i give up my seat for them on public transport and if they have just a handful of items at the checkout desk and i have a trolley i let them go first. NOW, i was in a coffee shop and a elderly lady was getting 2 coffees and 2 cakes, she went to pay with card and was just about to enter the pin when an even older friend joined her and said "I'll pay" so i had to wait for the younger one to take her card back and then the older friend took ages to find her card. At this point she turned to me and said "Sorry about this" to which i replied "That's no problem, I'm not in a rush, your OK, take your time", she then came out with in a serious voice and a face of thunder "Well it shouldn't be a problem, I'm allowed to take my time, I'm old". That was it, my fuse was lit and i was about to go off like a huge firework. I was being genuine and polite as i knew she was over 65 and she then played the age card, AAgggghhh! My mouth opened and it couldn't stop, "Age shouldn't make a difference, my mum is 73 and still very fit and quick. You can be old and still be active so that's no excuse". Did i feel bad, NAH!

And that's my rant of the month!

As you know i have a great hate for Sandals and Socks, WHY? Sandals, Socks and Speedos GOD WHY? But in a place called Tumble thats near where i live (mentioned in previous posts) they now have the winter collection designed by Dai Bumpkin.

Mr Giovanni Carbonara and the summer collection. It seems he's found a new way of cultivating cucumbers


And for you true dedicated followers of fashion to go with your summer look there's now a winter look, shorts and Welly Boots. It was absolutely freezing and raining the day i took this pic.


Whats that i hear, a knock at the door, who could it be? Its Alexander Meerkat. Well what a lovely surprise. He told me he had watched me on Winter Wipeout and said i was crap and thinks i need accident insurance, simplze!

Unfortunately for Alexander i was just about to cook some silverside beef and have never tried meerkat, serves him right for taking the mick out of my Winter Wipeout Qualifier run, lets see how simplze it is for him to get out.

I've had a few Autobiographies for Christmas, so each month i will be giving you my book of the month just in case your looking for that holiday read. This months book is "Happy slapped by a Jellyfish" by Karl Pilkington. Its my read when I'm on the train. The people must think I'm the loony on the train as I've been laughing out loud when reading it.

I know where i used to live Carmarthen is a bit behind the times but i was shocked yesterday when i saw Nazi's walking down the straight. I thought they're either A/ Got a time machine B/ Very stupid or C/ Going to a party held by Prince Harry. Don't worry folks it was none of those as i then saw them goose step in to a theatre and saw a sign above it "The Sound of Music". Phew, they were lucky, the locals were about to get their pitchforks out LOL

OK so I've been asked a few questions about Winter Wipeout so i will now answer them.

1/ What was the hand shaking all about? As you can see from the pic this is the classic world known mime for "The Cocktail shaker" its what most idiots do to represent they are shaking a cocktail but without having an actual cocktail shaker. Its along the lines of the mime for a cup of tea which is an imaginary cup being tipped to your mouth.

2/ Why didn't you lift yourself over the bar you stupid tit? Well, i dodged the first side of the bar and lost balance while i was counting how many was left standing. I forgot the other side of the bar and was off centre when it came round so my feet weren't planted properly to push off, hence the look of fear in my eyes haha.

3/ It looked like it hurt, how hard did it hit you? Well it hit at chest height at a high speed as they can slow down and speed up the arm. As i came round it sped up and hit me in the chest, i held on hoping i could slide over but it got to my gentleman vegetables as you can see from the pic and that was enough for anyone to lose their grip. So yes it did hurt.

4/ Whats with that shocking haircut? If you look at picture 1 i have a little Mohican style haircut and that was at the start of the day. This pic is straight after i had been on Ski Lift with a crash helmet on, hit a numerous amount of times by a speeding red bar and then flung in to the water, how do you expect my hair to look? LOL

So thats the update for this week but i have very exciting news about the Oceanic, i can't show you just yet but there is major building work going on at the bar at the moment and should be finished within the next few days which will also lead to all brand new decor when i get out there at the end of March but the concept is staying exactly the same, No TV's, No Loud Music, No Entertainment, No Stress, No Hassle just a true chill out bar.

So until my next update in a fortnight its Adios Amigos!