Its official i'm a Reverend!

And here it is fresh from the post, FOR ALL YOU NON BELIEVERS!
(It's true i am but i'm not really a believer, sssshhhhh! don't tell anyone LOL Darwins theory is more believable)

MY CERTIFICATE



MY ID CARD

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PRAISE THE LORD!

Yes my children i told you the Rev.Kev would rise again and this time i have been ordained, give me a "HALELUJAH!"

Children i am now a Minister of the Universal Church of California, say "PRAISE THE LORD!" This is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me god. I applied to be ordained and i am now Rev.Kev.

Weddings £25(plus as much buffet food as i can carry away), Christenings £20(with £5 cleaning fee if baby pees), Funerals £50(hole must be dug yourself).

GOD SPEED MY CHILDREN!

Rainy days are good for something!

I've always been interested in countries original culture and people, so much so during high school i studied greek culture and mythology also Native American history.
So today on this rainy horrible day in Wales i decided to read up on Maori and Aboriginal history.

America and Australia are the least places i want to visit as i think these countries have lost nearly all of they're original history and both seem to live off the new history that has been created by the European invasion to the countries. The Maoris have fought back and the Maori population has been on the increase after the european invasion in the 18th century. Reading through from when the first Europeans landed on these countries it seems that the diseases that the europeans brought with them wiped out a high number of the original population to these countries and the new history also tries to hide the countries original culture because of the way the europeans had treated the original inhabitants.

I think this is why i'm so attracted to Greece and led me to work on Zakynthos, Crete, Kos and Corfu, the culture is still there to be seen, the stories and myths are still being spoke of to this day, Historical buildings or ruins are so many and so close for you to visit and walk around.
The greeks are meant to be one of the oldest civilisations but the history is still with everyone in the present and proud of it but with America and Australia its all about the "new world" when the "old world" is so much more interesting.

If visitng these countries look past the sun drenched beaches, shopping malls, plush hotels and Ex-pats, try to find the real people and history of the Maori's, Aborignal natives and Native American indians.

Kalamaki map zante

Just click on the map to enlarge, its just a basic map for those of you who've asked about a few hotels, restaurants and bars and locations of old and new kalamaki. This is a very basic map but it shows the shape of the main centre of Kalamaki nice and clear.

Season 2008 - Good or Bad?

Well its time to look ahead to season 2008 and my 8th year on the island.

I read across about 6 websites for the island and all i've seen is negative posts about the season going to be quiet, how do these people know this? The tour companies are the only people who know how many rooms are sold on the island.

The island has alot of repeat tourists who wouldn't go anywhere else but for new tourists wanting to find information about the island and come across these negative posts of speculation that the season is going to be quiet they may decide to opt for somewhere else due to these posts that aren't based on any facts just hearsay and rumour. We need sites about zakynthos to be positive for the island to help with tourism which is the islands main income but it seems some like to start rumours and be negative towards the island before the first flight of the season has landed, WHY?

Just because one hotel has had less rooms taken on by a british tour operator doesn't mean they've taken less in the rest of its hotels, they may have taken on more rooms in a more popular hotel.

Just because there are less flights coming in doesn't mean there wil be less people it just means you got less choice of flight days, last season some flights were half full, so if there were 2 flights half full within the week cut one flight to give less choice and then have just one full flight. Its plain business sense it doesn't mean they're cutting flights cause of low bookings also companies have also been known to add flights if the demands are high so it works both ways.

Any business owner on the island would agree with me that tourism needs a healthy boost, so who are these people who are so negative? It wouldn't be someone who owns a business as you have to be positive about seasons for your business to survive. It doesn't help, so can they just wait till the 1st of May before they start condeming the island.

About bloody time!

Yes, Yes, Yes i know i've been a lazy git and should keep my blog updated but now i've started to get things together for my bar its time to be looking forward to another great season, with fun and laughs with dear friends who visit my bar and also new friends i'll make over season 2008.

So i hear you mumble with little enthusiasm "what you been up to kev?" well i did my usual 7 weeks at Toys R Us over christmas which i've been doing for the 7 years that i've also been in zakynthos and now my body has been given up to medical research in london and south wales.

I've had my medicals with 2 companies to see if i'm healthy enough for medical research and i'm pleased to announce i'm 100% fit in all areas, i did question my height as i'm sure i'm meant to be taller but they assure me i'm just a short ass and no medical help will make me taller, bugger.

So what made me decide to put myself forward for medical research? I wanted to give something back to society which doesn't mean me putting my hand in my pocket and donating money. I've put myself forward for advance medicine research which means they try out the drugs on me first (first human subject) before me these drugs would have been tested on animals so really not much of a step up trying them on me next (no funny comments please). Just think one day my name may be linked to a cure or wonder drug for something, instead of taking a "asprin" you could be putting a "kevlar" in your mouth. ooh eer misses. Anyway time will tell and will keep you informed when my research begins and how it goes.

By the way i am serious about the medical research i have signed up with medical centres in London and South Wales and have passed the medical screening as 100% fit.

As for the bar i've got some good ideas and bought new decor for outside but this i'm keeping a secret as i know spys read my blog and copy so you will see all when your on your hols in 2008.

So here's to a good 2008 and the start of my blog updates, hoorah, hoorah!

The Oceanic Awards

The red carpet is laid out, the press arrive, lights, cameras, action. Its the 3rd biggest awards ceremony of the year, Its "THE OCEANICS".

And here is your host, the short ass welsh forrest gump, Kevlar.

"Thank you for that wonderful introduction, i'd like to welcome you all to these awards, as you know its been a great 6 month season and its time to honour the brave, the pleasant, the beautiful and the stupid. These awards were founded 5 minutes ago and as you can see have stood the test of time and hopefully will carry on doing so for minutes to come. So lets crack on as i know a few of our guests have paint they need to watch dry.. The awards are in order of merit so the biggest award will be presented last"

The award for "Most questions asked in a night" goes to Chloe of jonlouisechloe.

Lovely little chloe or "Alice" as i had to call her hit me with more questions than a game of trivial pursuit but she was such a sweetie that i tried as best as i could to answer everything she had to give. but unfortunately i couldn't keep up with the pace.

The award for " I'm going to save every stray dog in the world" goes to lesley

Lesley is a really nice lady and god does she love dogs, if she could get every stray home into her house i reckon she would, sorry andrew buddy your in the tent.

The award for "I'm not meant to drink" goes to Les

Les is a 86 year old teenager who has been visiting the island for 20 years and drank in my bar every night for his 2 weeks, his Doc told him that he musn't drink anymore, 2 halfs lager and 6 glasses of rose wine later he wasn't sprinting across to his room at the cavo dora.

The award for "Doggy bag of the season" goes to carol (caz) & sam

It was a great honour to recieve this doggy bag as it was the best pizza i had tasted and i have been named their official "pizza left over eater"

The award for "Clueless" goes to Sandra & Emma lou

After me telling these 2 fine young ladies to visit Gastronomy Restaurant And gave them directions and they said they were going there they ended up 1ooo metres away from it and in another restaurant that sounds and looks nothing like the restaurant i described. They even come back to my bar thinking they had been to said restaurant and made out it was great just to save from hurting my feelings as it was actually rubbish.

The award for "better try another cocktail" goes to Marie

Marie a lovely lady with a hidden passion for cocktails most nights arrived around midnight but sure made up for it, one night Marie and her husband went through the whole specials cocktail menu, i almost closed for the season there and then.

The award for "biggest round of the season" goes to Sam of Carol & sam

Sam (or my dad as i labelled him this night) Bought a round of shots for everyone in the bar although he didn't know he had till i was telling everyone he had bought them, yammas sam!

The award for "Oooh i think i like that" goes to Steve of Joanne & Steve

Steve doesn't drink much, yeah right, on his first holiday to my bar Steve drank almost 2 litres of Jack Daniels in a week, wow where did he put it all as he's not that big a fella LOL

The award for "Polish work like ethics" goes to Amy & Ellie

These 2 lovely young ladies helped me out collecting glasses and making their own drinks for no pay which is my type of worker.

The award for "Karaoke singer of the year without a karaoke" goes to Colin

Colin along with Les (86) and Joe (70) had a sing along consisting of Frank Sinatras "my way" the only problem was they only knew the first verse and repeated it about 20 times.

The Award for "Help! i'm a customer, get me out of here" goes to Annette of Chris & Annette

My toilet door has a lock that that locks twice, so if you turn it the wrong way when you want to leave it double locks it so when you turn it once the other way it still locks, Annette on her 7 day holiday locked herself in the toilet 5 of her 7 visits.

The award for " Mines a Mythos Red" Goes to Matt

Not only did he drink me dry of it he also drank the second case i ordered in for him, after he left i had 1 lonely bottle left, he better come back next season to drink it.

The award for "Outstanding Contribution to my private yacht" goes to Alan & June

Wow you guys can drink for pensioners, lager followed by vodka followed by brandy, thats all i'm going to say.

The award for "Cigar smoker of the season" goes to Nigel

One night i offered Nigel to join me in a cigar, after that he bought me about 3 tins for the ones he smoked of mine, my pleasure Nigel

The Award for "Is that the time?" goes to Aaron and Kate

After a nice night of drinks and chat we realised the sun had come up and it was 6am, wow time flies when your getting drunk.

The award for "Best dressed in a drinking roll" goes to Janice & Phil

Every night they were immaculate, their foot servant must get paid well.

The award for "Most boring drinker and lightweight" goes to Emma Lou

Well what can i say TEA or WATER! Although she did push the boat out one night and had a cocktail but was very drunk after it, good job her son Harrison was with her to show her the way home.

The award for "Expedition to the Oceanic" goes to Dave Cleathro

He travelled down from Alykes for 1 drink and a chat, much appreciated and lovely to meet you.

The award for "Most help from another business" goes to Veronica & Derek of the Lighthouse restaurant and Akis from the Cavo Dora hotel

These 3 people were the best, they helped me so much and i am forever in your debt, thank you oh so much.

OK this is the big one, there were many other awards but for every person who has won a award a free drink of your choice has been given to you on your next visit, thats why i didn't put all the awards on, i'm a tight ass, LOL

The Award for "Customer of the season" goes to Geoff

He was one of my first customers, drank me out of much Metaxa, brought me a food parcel, helped promote the bar with some great funny pics in his own time and generally a all round nice guy.

I hope you enjoyed the awards, i'm now going to get drunk in the V.I.P. lounge with Angelina Jolie.

My first season - Time to reflect

I'm now back home and time to reflect on a wonderful first season but it wasn't all chill out and stress free.

From day one when i first posted on a certain website that i had bought my own bar i recieved quite nasty e-mails trying to put me off opening the bar as things would happen to me or the bar, these came from fake e-mail addresses so couldn't tell who was sending them but nothing was going to stop me. i'd been looking for years to open a bar and the property i found was perfect.

From march i started with the paperwork which to be honest was a nightmare, if paper A can't be done you can't get on with paper F it has to all be in sequence A,B,C so as soon as someone in a office isn't there to sign or stamp a paper thats it, thats the end of the day. I nust have visited in all about 30 offices, miles and miles driving and lots of stress. If your paying someone money for a service they're happy to see you but if its a free service like tax office they are so unwilling to help you and often overlook you until they're ready to serve you. Also add at least another £3000 for hidden charges and paperwork.

At the same time as doing all this i worked 12 hours a day on the bar as the previous owner had let it go to a complete mess, the floor tiles were filthy, the kitchen was full of grease which i had to mop the walls with bleach and de-greaser, i've never seen such a filthy kitchen so god help anyone who ate in here when it was the previous business but after all my hard scrubbing and DIY the "Oceanic" was born.

The season for me didn't start till june due to recieving my licence late, it started quiet but then again new business, no repeat customer, quiet start to season all over island so i sat and waited reading Michael Palin's Python years diaries, which actually gave me great insperation after reading how pyhton struggled hard at the beginning to be accepted.

Within 2 weeks my trade started to pick up, and within 3 weeks i had a full bar. I could never of imagined that this was going to happen and from then on in i was full almost every night. The nights would be different from week to week some weeks it would be full from opening till 8.30 then empty till maybe 10.30-11 or the next week empty till 9.30 then full by 10 but either way every night was a joy to work and every customer was great, didn't have one bad one. The most popular drinks were the cocktails as i don't have any cheap products in my bar all the spirits are genuine and time and care is taken in making the drinks, i pride myself on making true cocktails and if you don't like them then i'll exchange it but i haven't had to yet.

Now i hear you say "come on you must have had some problem" Well yes i did but not from a actual customer it was from 2 people on a certain website who decided to get together and try to wreck my business by stopping people talking about my bar. But i'd like to say thank you to those 2 people as you also spurred me on to make it a success to prove you wrong.

The bar would not have been a success though without your custom and input so this post is a tribute to you all. i can only serve the drinks but you are the people who make the bar what it is, it was a amazing season and i took double the target i had set myself. I loved talking to all the customers, so many different lifestyles and experiences the people have had, it kept me going through a very busy season and i hope with some of the customers i could help them as there were a few customers who were on holiday to escape troubles or upset in their life but seemed to then enjoy themselves which is great to see. The best thing for me is to know that people want the bar i provide and enjoy it, so a huge thank you folks you were all great and hope to see you all again.

Here's to a bright future and hope you will all join me next season, yammas folks your all brilliant.