Christmas........who cares?

Oh, don't be fooled by the heading for this update my wonderful people, everything is good in my world BUT......Christmas is now 3 months long and if i see that Elf advert (not going to mention the supermarket) one more time I'm going to go Elfing crazy. Does it really need to be advertised from October? Christmas is the same date every year, no one is going to forget it but now by the time Christmas comes around we're all fed up with it. I'm not a Christmas person anyway but I was starting to like it and now with the songs in shops and adverts starting so early in the year I'm getting bored with it.

I know , I know, an update so soon I hear you whisper, well it's because it's a very special anniversary, Sian and I have been together 6 years and counting. 26 years in the making but it was worth the wait and of course we're still celebrating Sian's 50th as I promised Sian she would have a years celebration. I have had more fun, more laughs, visited more places, been to more gigs and just had the best times ever in the 6 years with Sian than my previous 48 years on this planet, so to Sian i say thank you, i love you so much and SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS! To celebrate our time together i thought i would give you a musical treat as we both like our music and these songs remind me of Sian and our 6 years together

Firstly we have Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes, we chose this as our song as we were both in to the band the second time we met in 1999 as we had met 3 years earlier but then i only knew Sian a short while. We chose this as our song as we couldn't really choose "Break Stuff" or "Rollin", not very romantic so we decided on this some how.

This next song reminds me of our first ever visit to Switzerland. We were slightly merry and starving. It was quite late and the only place open for food was MacDonalds (God, if your reading, this is a terrible sin eating that rubbish, i was vulnerable and hungry, never again, please forgive me). Sian has this amazing talent of remembering the lyrics to songs, word for word, i can just about remember a chorus.

As we walked along the bank of lake Geneva in Montreux Sian started to blast out Queens - "A Winter Tale" which in fact is about Montreux, she was just singing and singing with arms in the air as we walked along freezing my butt off starving and dreading having to eat a MacDonalds but it was also very funny to see.

This next moment you would have only read about a few months ago, The Proposal. A very special moment in time for both of us. So here is the song that captured that moment. Coldplay - "Sky full of stars". Thought i'd use the live version for the light show as we had a light show when i proposed.

We have been to many gigs and concerts over the 6 years and i could have chosen any number of songs but i think this song is the one that Sian and i go bat shit crazy to the most. It starts off with a guitar being strummed, a spoken intro that Sian sings at me in my face then......all hell breaks lose, Foo Fighters - "All My Life", i pity the poor fool who gets in our way at a UK Foo Fighters gig. At Taylor Hawkins tribute concert we almost fell over the seats in front of us when this come, very difficult to mosh in a row of seats in a stadium.

Now then, this next song reminds of a warm summer night in Milan with the sun setting and just a beautiful night, it felt like the first real bit of freedom after Covid, it had also been a long time coming as we were due to be in Milan in 2020 to watch the Foo Fighters, then covid struck, then Taylors passing and an alternative of seeing Imagine Dragons came up who we had seen once before quite a few years ago and enjoyed them but to be outdoors on a lovely warm night withmwe stood behind Sian holding her close and just enjoying life was a special moment for me. This song "Birds" came on at just the right moment as the sun was setting down behind the stage, couldn't of been timed better.

So we've had 3 mushy songs and only one good rocking song, how does that happen when i'm supposedly this bad ass, short, balding Welsh rock monster i hear you say. Well, it's all about the songs, it's about the moments those songs bring back to you and 3 of those just happen to be nice slower songs. So, in saying that to finish off lets have a good old rock song. This is from when i was DJ'ing for the Millennium. Dec 31st 1999 going in to 2000, a once in a lifetime moment for everyone out partying that night. It was a sell out and it was a fancy dress event. Sian had re-invented her wedding dress into a princess dress topped off with a tiara and then that mild, meek, princess turned into a whirling twirling rocking bad ass when Guns N Roses came on "Paradise City". Out of a full dancefloor from my DJ booth i could see just one person standing out going crazy, SIAN! Sian had had a few drinkies but then again everyone had that night. At that point i knew one day Sian would be mine.

We've had many, many fun times and special moments during our first 6 years together that i could have chosen another 100 but these are the times that come to mind first so they must stand out the most.

A very quick update on my cyclist rant. We went to one of our local pubs on Friday afternoon about 3.30pm (We have 5 locals we alternate) and there walked in exactly as i had described "The road side pub cyclist" and i have picture to prove it that i had to take covertly. 

Did he really need to walk in with his helmet on? His 3 cyclist mates didn't, KNOB!

Then as i also pointed out in my rant he sat at the table with his helmet on, in is stinky sweaty lycra eating chips and downing a pint, i rest my case.

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A little trip away to Birmingham to see the UK Foo Fighters and the Christmas market was our next adventure, not as exotic as Paris, Milan or Calgary but we really like Birmingham and you know what a trip away means......BARKERS BREAKFAST!

No trip away now would be the same without coming here,it's a full on tradition for us.

This piccie of my bacon and egg sandqich doesn't do it justice, i was still full at 6pm that night.

Another vacation and another apartment in the centre of Birmingham which was really nice and quite big and all for the same price as a hotel room, lovely, not that we needed a apartment just for 2 nights but it just gives you a nice homely feeling instead of a room with a toilet attached but maybe anything less than 5 nights doesn't really need a apartment but we like it anyway.

Bags dropped off and straight out in to town, no time to waste, there are bars that need visiting. A little walk around the Bullring and the Christmas fair first.

I have to say Birmingham do a great job with their Christmas fair and how it's managed and policed. Everyone seems to be there just to eat and drink and be merry, the craft stalls are a bit naff though but then again have you ever seen a good craft fair?

After ooooing and ahhhhhhing at all the pretty lights lets go find The Lost and Found. We found this bar the first time we visited November 2017 for Depeche Mode and really liked it but didn't go there on our second visit in 2019 as i was on a medical study and dribbling with a vacant look on my face but we found it again. Had a couple of pints in there and finished it off with a cheeky little snifter. We like this bar.

We'd been in here for while and now it was dark so back out for the Christmas lights.

Now then, i'm all for Christmas markets and fairs but when is it right to set up a bar and food tent right next to a headstone in a graveyard? If you look at the centre of the pic you can see 3 large headstones. this part of the fair was set up in a church graveyard, i kid you not. It seems to me a bit disrespectful to have all this set up on top of graves. Oh yeah, Merry Christmas one and all, your sat on a dead person.

On to the Sly Old Fox, again when we visited this the last time i was in a spaced out state on my medical study so couldn't drink but we made up for it this time, barman (i can say that as it was a man and he worked behind the bar) pints and shots all round. It's always busy in here so i didn't want to get my phone out and take pics so i had to find stock pics. The little peoples table by the pillar with stools was our table and yes the pub is that tidy and clean which is a first for us, usually their a bit worn smell of stale beer and feet stick to the carpet.

Starting to feel hungry so off we go back to the apartment for pizzas with garlic bread and then sleepy time as long day Saturday, sweet dreams ya'll.

GOOOOOOOD MORNING BIRMINGHAAAAAAAM! 8am and we're already out for a walk along the canal to the Costas at the Utilita arena for a latte and then over to sea life centre for 9.30am before all the little darlings start to get there with their families. 

We have visited here before but we enjoyed it and visit sea life centres wherever we travel if we can Birmingham, London, Chester, Penzance, Paris and Calgary.

It's so much better being the first in as you can take your time without others around you. They had made one change since our last visit, the river otters had gone and sea otters had replaced them, they are huge in comparison. Sian auditioning for Life of Earth.

From here off for a little retail shopping and a wander around the rest of the city and back to apartment to chill before our UK Foo Fighters gig. 

Someone had broken an antler off but still looks funny.

At the entrance to Selfridges in the Bullring, even the bulls festive.

It was pretty chilly this night and couldn't wait to get in but then when the band was about to come on it was boiling as it was a sell out and packed, not much room to jump around but we made sure we made space, who could stops us once were bouncing about, NO ONE! We couldn't be bothered to go back and forth the bar all night so when we did go to the bar it was 2 pint glass, they are huge, we looked like Borrowers.

After singing and dancing all the way through it's time to head back to the Sly Old Fox, really like this pub, felt very homely and comfy. Midnight came and it was time for a take away and home as out of apartment at 10am, BOOOOooooooooooo!

Up and out and guess what we found .........MR PRETZELS! OH MY GOD, AGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Bloody hell, doesn't open until 11am. i don't care, we're waiting and we did and it was so good. To carry on our Canada themed morning it was then over to Tim Hortons to finish off our weekend away.

Cardiff, get your ass in gear and get a Mr. Pretzels.

MMMMmmmmmm, taste so good!

So another trip over, and only one month left before the end of Sians year long birthday but we still have London and our usual New Years holiday which i think is quite special and will be really cosy and our little Squid is coming with us, YAY!

So until our London trip.........

Serve All. Love All, Peace All...... Kevlar Out!

TO RANT OR NOT TO RANT THAT IS THE QUESTION!

 Well my fine blog followers how are we all this wet, grey, miserable day? You all good? I hope so as its all doom, gloom, crap, the end is nigh, four horsemen (Am i allowed to say horsemen anymore) of the  apocalypse style headlines these days.

Now as you know i like a good rant every now and again just to vent my spleen and then go about my day happily but am i allowed to anymore? Am i allowed to say what has wound me up? Am i allowed an opinion anymore and let you, my public know what's got my goat......someone hasn't literally got my goat........well thinking about ....yes they have....someone has our goat Biscuit. OK...so i'll change got my goat to what gets on my wick.....can i say that? Wick is another word for a private part in this saying and what with having to be gender neutral ....hmmmmmm. OK so i shall come up with a new gender neutral PC saying for when something irritates you...i got it......are you ready.....do you know what has "SQUISHED MY KUMQUAT"....YES, someone contact Susie Dent on Countdown and let her know there is a new saying in town. I just thought.....that may offend vegans as i'm killing a kumquat.....they don't matter so it's fine, i can live with that.

It's very difficult these days isn't it folks, anything can be twisted to make someone look like the bad guy (can i say guy, maybe i should use person)........so in saying that.........

CYCLISTS.....What a bunch of dimwits (That's being polite). I've started cycling to work now from The Mumbles to Swansea centre, it's about 4 miles and cycle path all the way. I have my water proof suit, a helmet, a hi vis vest, 2 front lights, a back light and i'm good to go and everyone can see me as i make my way as i now live in perpetual darkness, its darks when i leave the house in the night and it's dark when i leave town in the morning. As i cycle along the path feeling like Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with "Raindrops keep falling on my head" not playing but actually raindrops falling on my head  i just go at a pleasant pace after all i'm not in the Tour de Cymru i'm cycling just to get from A to B. I encounter many other cyclist along the way, some for work purposes who all seem to have the correct gear and obey the highway code, some for pleasure and again all set up like me and obey the highway code BUT the absolute KNOBHEADS in their lycra gear with their skinny bikes that weigh as much as one of my mountain bike tyres and pot bellies, without any lights or reflective clothing as they think it creates wind resistance, never ever make a hand signal cause they're the only person on this planet which means we have to be mind readers and think they're Bradley Wiggins.......YOUR NOT, your a middle aged man thinking that acting like a DICK on a bike makes you better than everyone else. You see a red light you go up on the pavement, you see a zebra crossing (not the animal) you cycle straight through as you can't be arsed to clip your feet out of your pedal clasps, your coming towards a fellow cyclist (me) and you can't figure out you ride to your left like on the road and just stay in the centre making me swerve on to the pedestrian path when there's room on cycle path for both of us, you tut loudly as you pass a pedestrian or shout back at them cause you almost run them over at your fault, you cycle head down puffing and panting like your in a sprint finish when really your heading home to an empty house with a cat you've called Mr. Mistoffelees just in case you bring a lady home and married gents just use cycling as an excuse to get away from their wives for long periods of time. SORT YOUR LIFE OUT, just cause you've cycled 10 miles doesn't mean your fit and healthy as that pie and chips your eating washed down with a pint sat in your sweaty lycra gear in a road side pub after your ride as you say "You need to replenish" doesn't fade away cause you've exerted yourself a little. GET A GRIP AND GROW UP.........

Bob & Tom were excited for the off......here we come Tour De McDonalds, 2000 McDonalds in 23 days.

Geoff's exertion caused him to throw up in public. Pulling on all that lycra took a great effort, tomorrow he'll try to get on the saddle.

SNOWFLAKES.....(Not the frozen rain, i like that) Back in the dark ages we used to have a thing called a pen and a piece of paper and we were taught how to write. To make a complaint we would have to take said pen and paper, sit down put the pen to paper and write if we wanted to complain. This took time, effort and thought, something that people today haven't got. These snowflakes take to their mobile devices, tap tap tap and send without a filter, without any knowledge and without any sense. On my news feed out of maybe 30 headlines there are maybe 4 proper headlines all the others are about snowflakes complaining, furious, disbelief, outraged at something so ridiculously futile they wouldn't complain about if they had to sit and write a letter. "It's outrageous that i have to use my hands to eat", "How can someone be so heartless as to breath air next to me", "People are using their eyes to see where they're going as they walk past me, i feel violated", "I was talking loudly on facetime in the middle of 50 people and someone tutted and gave me a stern look, i may call the police", "Who the hell does that shop assistant think she is, asking can she help, does she think i'm stupid and need help", "I called the fire brigade to light my fire pit and they said they put fires out not light them, what's the point in the fire brigade, sack the lot"........This sort of brain numbing complaint is what real people like us folks have to put up with these days but then again these snowflakes are the same people that look at their toes and wonder what's making them wiggle, absolute idiots. This is a true complaint i saw just the other day, this is so pathetic........"A woman complained to a Sainsbury Store in Hornchurch that she was FORCED to by a bottle of Baileys to drink at home as the store she visited was freezing cold".......Now call me mister thicky if i'm missing something. She says forced, to me that evokes images of being grabbed by the neck or lead by gunpoint to a till and  made to pay for a bottle of Baileys. Also she went home and drank it, she was cold in the store, why didn't she open it there to warm herself up, she doesn't need it in her warm cosy home does she, UNBELIEVABLE!

THANK THE LORD!

FOOD.....Sian and i love our food, we cook allot at home as we prefer freshly prepared food than ping food but we want our food to be tasty which means unhealthy which is fine by us as we're healthy living people apart from that, we walk for miles whenever we can, we don't smoke, we don't drink much alcohol, we don't fry anything but we want to enjoy our food which means salt, fat and meat. Everything now has reduced fat, reduced salt, shelves and shelves of meat free products and plant based products......STOP IT! I don't force on to you the fact you should be licking the under hanging belly of a pig (Pork belly) as it tastes so good when cooked covered in fat, loads of salt and crisped up. Why is vegan food renamed to things like "No chicken nuggets", "No beef Burgers" , "No pork bangers" why don't they call it what it is "Non descript artificial matter that tastes of nothing BUT shaped like a burger", do you know why it's not labelled like that......cause if it was even vegans wouldn't eat it and go back to meat, say what it is, stop saying the meat that it used to be made with. If i want a plant based product i will go out to my garden, thrust my head in to the flower bed, open my mouth, shake my head about and chow down on a lovely selection of  geraniums. Have you seen plant based rashers? They look like the plastic bacon you get in children food playsets. Do you know what Sian and i thought we would do, we thought of opening a unhealthy food shop and restaurant called "Fat unhealthy bastards" where people like myself and Sian can go and buy and eat food that will kill you but tastes so good. Everything comes with extra salt, sugar and fat. You want the fat dripping from your bacon so it soaks in to your unhealthy brioche bun, YOU GOT IT! What's that you say, you want me to put even more salt on your salted fatted beef, NO PROBLEM! You want to go back to the 40's and have a beef dripping sandwich with spam and thick white bread spread with salted butter, WHY NOT! Don't take peoples choices away from them, make unhealthy and healthy products and let the public decide. They say it's to take the strain off the health service, i've read more about deaths in headlines of "fit, healthy, young person" dying while playing a sport or jogging than headlines about "unhealthy, obese, old person" being found dead after being stuck in a door frame for days.

MMMmmmmm plastic bacon, don't you just love plant based food.

PARENTS/GRAND PARENTS.....Now there is something to add to this heading Parents/Grandparents with children out in public. Where do i start with this, good grief Charlie Brown. This is not a rant about children lets make that clear. Lets start with the basics. There are places called PLAY areas, PLAY grounds, PLAY groups, PLAY centres, parks and fields. In these wonderful places the children you are dragging along with you crying and screaming or just yelling for no reason can make as much noise as they want, knock yourself out kids (wish they would). These places are for you to do as you wish with the little ankle biters where as these places pubs, coffee shops, restaurants, supermarkets are NOT where the children can do as they wish and lets be honest here it's not the children's fault, oh no, it's the parents/grand parents fault. Children are just being children, some more bratish and more misbehaved than others but children all the same BUT the parents/grand parents aren't stopping them or even just telling them "NO". We the general public who don't have kids or people who's kids have grown up don't love or adore your little cherubs as much as you and we don't want them around our table or anywhere near us, can't you see by my Paddington stare and the words that i'm mouthing "P**s off you little shit" that they are not welcome around us. Why don't these so called good guardians stop their children? "Oops, careful little one my pint may pour over your head if you run in to me as i'm walking from the bar" , "oh no, please be careful that my caramel cappuccino doesn't scald you as its knocked off the table because you've tripped in to it". If something happens to a child that's left to run wild like a feral cat in an area that is NOT for playing in, it's not the other customers fault or the child's fault, it's the parents/grand parents fault, so to keep your little bundles of joy safe and away from others keep them trained, restrained and by you, IT'S NOT DIFFICULT, the worlds not your babysitter. If i had wanted noise, stress and the life sapped out of me i would have had kids myself, THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T.

Little Jenny refused to walk causing a commotion in the shop, unfortunately Mum's bottles of wine were in the child's trolley seat.

AND RELAX...........

You all should try having the odd rant from time to time, it does me the world of good. These days your not even allowed a opinion. Opinions doesn't make someone a nasty person, it's just the view they have on a subject which you agree or disagree with.

So until my next update you lovely people......

Serve All, Love All, Peace All......Kevlar Out!