Its time to head back. WHERE'S MY SUITCASE GONE? AGGGHHHHHHHH!

                                    LOOK WHAT I GOT, YEEEEEHHHAAAAAAAAA!

WOW! Is it time for me to go back? This winter went so quick, well............i was in the medical research for 6 weeks, been stuck in this house for almost the rest of the time due to crap weather and going back 3 weeks early as i have so much to do this season before i open. Its a major overhaul of the bar but i think you my lovely friends and customers deserve it. If it was just for me I'd keep my money in my pocket, tight Welshman you see LOL. As the saying goes "A rolling stone gathers no moss" which in business terms means if you run a business in to the ground without spending out money and just being greedy your going to end up with an empty business. As i have stated before its only the decor that's changing to a higher standard, the concept stays the same. Also i have made another major decision on the bar. I think that at some point in time i need to be in the UK full time. I don't want to be a Brit abroad in my later years scraping a living just to feed myself and pay my bills which i have seen many many times over the years in all the resorts i have worked and the people have never been happy. Its not just about that but all the people i love and hold dear to me are in the UK and every season i miss them more which makes it harder and harder to go back, so it is with heavy heart when i tell you all that i will be keeping Oceanic open for another 3 season until its 10th Anniversary and then that will be my last season, so 2016 will be my last year. I know it may seem a long way away yet but in fact its not and i came to the decision yesterday and needed an end date for focus. I know what some may be saying "ah we'll see" but no that is definitely going to be my last year 2016 and no going back. I may put it up for sale for that year, may keep it on and have someone run it for me or i may just sell everything out of it but i will not be just walking away from it for someone to walk in to, I'd prefer to have a big bonfire than do that, well its my stuff LOL.

So that's bar stuff out the way lets get on with my fun packed weeks and my observations i have made during that time.

1/ Why do people talking in public on speaker phone think other members of the public want to hear their conversation?

2/ Why if your on a path with 2 lanes (one for bikes, one for pedestrians) do bikes still ride in the pedestrian lane when there are lots of white floor paintings along the lanes stating which is which?

3/ Why is it when your in a rush and walking fast behind a person do they then start to move towards your path of walking as you get closer when up until that point they've been walking in a straight line?

4/ Where is my suitcase?

Now we haven't got a huge house so haven't got servants who may have stolen it. I've asked Higginbottom my butler if he's seen it but he hasn't. I've looked in the left and right wing of the house, in the pantry, in the games keepers cabin and the attic but still no suitcase. I had it after coming out of simbec medical centre and then came straight back to the house but its nowhere. BUGGER!

Once a week i always take the local coach to Swansea to visit my mum. This Wednesday it was a glorious day so before i caught the coach i sat outside a little coffee shop and had a latte in the sun. It was so nice but the view ain't exactly Zakynthos town port.

Me having my morning coffee, its the sun, remember what that looks and feels like, I'm amazed.

 After my coffee i made my way to the coach stop. Now this coach is very popular with the more mature and students. What a great combination. It goes from Aberystwyth to Cardiff and comes through where we live along the way. You can book tickets for it and many do but this day i didn't have time so just decided to hop on. Unfortunately all the seats were booked up, so me being the cheeky me asked if the tour rep seat was in those seats that were booked and the driver said no. That was my in, i asked if i could use that seat as i really needed to be in Swansea by 11. The driver agreed, WOOHOO!

Now i was thinking of being the tour guide for the duration of the trip but there was no mic available and i hate Cliff Richards "Summer Holiday" which seems to always get sung on a coach with a tour guide, well, when i used to holiday it did but then again that was years ago. To be honest there isn't much to point out of any interest. sheep to the left of me, sheep to the right, and here i am stuck in the reps seat with you.

My view from the elite tour rep seat.

If you look to your left you can see Sheep.

OH, quickly folks, over there to the right, SHEEP!

After a quick visit to my mum for a cuppa and to make sure she's OK i headed back in to Swansea town centre to have a look around. Its a strange thing being in Swansea town centre, it seems to drive me to drink. So i popped in to a local pub. This is the pub that i took the photo of the cocktail menu in my last update, its definitely not a cocktail style bar. Its sticky carpets, toothless men sat alone, dogs laid at feet of tables, empty pint glasses left on tables for the 45 Min's i was in there and people just gazing in to space. After just reading that back I've described myself in there, i have 4 teeth missing, was sat alone and was gazing out the window people watching. I can see my future but its happening now LOL.
I stood at the bar to order my beer and there were 4 other people at the bar before me, 3 guys all together waiting to order separately and a woman, behind thew bar were 1 staff member and the arrogant manager. The woman was paying for a wine and a pint........ by credit card, the first guy bought a pint and crisps........by credit card, the second guy bought a meal and pint................by credit card. While all this stupid time wasting was going on another 2 guys came to the bar. The manager then finished with the woman and asked "Who's next?" to which the guy who had just approached the bar ordered and he served. WHAT? Hang on, i was next or at least the last guy of the 3. What type of manager has to ask "who's next? He should know who's next, its not as if it was ram packed at the bar, any good barman would know that let alone a manager, it makes me so angry GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR! And while we're at it, doesn't anyone carry a few pound on them anymore? These people must have known they may need a few quid if going out and are paying for just a pint with a credit card. GOD, watching the woman pay for her 2 drinks was like watching Joey Essex trying to figure out Sir Isaac Newtons Law of Gravitation. She didn't have her glasses so couldn't see the screen, then she had to remember her number and after all that had to be talked through how to use machine, it took forever, GET CASH OUT!

MY toothless, lonely, gazing in to space pint..........but it was good.

After my lovely cool refreshing pint i got back on the pensioner/student trolley and headed back home but before i left Swansea i took a selfie on the bus. Well it seems all the rage these days even though the selfie is in fact years old from when the camera was first invented.

My selfie and proud of it LOL.

I had to go back to Simbec for a follow up to sign some papers so the pharmaceutical company can continue to use my blood samples and i noticed something. As i stood on the platform at Pentre-Bach waiting for my train home i noticed that the platform is one of the longest I've ever seen for just a little village station. The trains that pull up to this station are only ever 2 carriages long and don't need a huge platform. This platform could accommodate the Orient Express its that long. Why the hell did they make it that long and to add to it there isn't even a shop on it. With all that room you could fit a retail park on it.

Is there any real need for such a long platform? I think not

On my walks around Swansea i saw a local pub that was being taken over. The couple had put a sign outside so everyone would know. In fact they were so proud they even displayed what they had achieved. "Chef of the year 91 & 92". So Anton was chef of the year for 2 years. Where? Voted by who? What area, UK, Wales, Glamorgan, Swansea, their living room? I'm chef of the year every year in my kitchen and i don't need anyone to vote either. Also looking at that, this was 22 years ago. I think i would prefer to be in the place where Chef of the year 2013 is cause this means Anton hasn't been any good since 1992 LOL.

Think i would just welcome people and leave the self proclaimed honours off it.

Also there was a world food fair in the city centre and from among the little stalls came a bright golden warm glow..........A Greek Gyros stall. OH MY GOD! I was so excited i thought to myself I'm going to buy the largest Gyros they sell. As i walked towards the stall from under the covers it was raining heavy and i got soaked. I decided against the purchase, it just doesn't seem the same eating a watter logged gyros under grey skies.

Sunday for some unknown crazy reason i woke up wanting ice cream. Strange i know as most people want a Sunday roast. Helen agreed to my cravings and took me to an Italian Restaurant near Swansea on The Mumbles (this is a seaside resort not a stroppy teenager) called Verdi. Jamie Oliver did one of his programmes from here, that fact did put me off a bit. The place was packed at 11am, i mean not one single seat inside so we had to wait for a table. I could have ordered the whole menu of Starters, Mains and desserts but i wanted ice cream. I had Vanilla & Toffee ice cream with toffee shards, hot toffee sauce and whipped cream. Helen ordered a strawberry, cream and kiwi cake. They were so rich, sweet and sticky, loaded with calories, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nom nom nom.

If your ever around the Swansea area go to The Mumbles, its lovely, even better when the suns out.

Verdi's, packed out on a Sunday at 11am.

Verdi's outdoor seating, Do you think its to cold?

My beautiful ice cream, I LOVE YOU. LOL

Talking of high quality food its been years since I've had a filled vol au vent. When you and all your friends were 18 to 21 you were always going to parties where the buffet always had vol au vents. So you were having them at least once a month but as you get older the parties die off and weddings these days always have to above and beyond what the couple can afford so the bride can have her "Special day". Hello? There is a groom as well you know. I've been to a few weddings and the buffets in the evening have always been over the top fancy pants crap. Wheres the cocktail sausages on sticks? Wheres the mini pork pies and wheres my vol au vents?
I've looked in a few supermarkets to find vol au vent cases and couldn't find any. I asked my good old mum to look for some. Whatever i can't find my mum always does. She's a great shopper LOL.
She found me the Holy Grail, 36 Jus Rol large vol au vent cases. AMAZING!
I got them, took them home and cooked off 16. Got my fillings ready, egg mayo, coronation chicken, barbecue shrimp and coleslaw. I got them all prep'd up and scoffed the lot apart from one which Helen stole, never forgive her for that LOl. I was in 1980's heaven. Soooooooooooo good.

I'm available every winter for catering parties LOL.

Its amazing, thats another 2 1/2 hours just to write this update, maybe i should hire a ghost writer like the great authors David Beckham, Justin Bieber and Katie Price.

Well my dear friends and customers, thats it from the UK but i will now update from Zakynthos as soon as i got my wifi back on. I will give you all the true goings on from the island and a picture update of whats changed in every resort.

So Sunday its up, up and away.

Serve All, Love all, Peace All, Kevlar Out.

Nobody move, there's been a MURRRRDEERRRRR! Well a travisty to music and clubs.

Well before i start this fortnights update i will shake every English persons hand for a great victory over Wales. No, I'm not going to make any excuses like some nations do (England) We were outclassed by a team playing the way we usually play. England played the Welsh game by keeping possession and ball in hand and they did it so well, where as wales played the kicking game and never looked like scoring a try, Why kick to a team who have power and pace to run it straight back at you and gain yards. So my predictions for this 6 nations so far have been correct and i still say its Ireland's tournament to lose.

Now, then, I'm all for keeping fit and getting fit. Why, just yesterday i walked 5 miles with a 5kg bag of stones in a rucksack and then 5 miles back again. But when that exercise isn't really exercise or interferes with my exercise then we have a problem.
What am i talking about i hear you say. MAMIL's, Middle Aged Men In Lycra. They got the helmet, they got the go fast wrap around shades, they got the fingerless gloves, they got the shorts that look like they're wearing a men's over sized pantie liner, they got the proper cycling shoes, so why do they ride on the pavements that pedestrians use, YOUR NOT 6 YEARS OLD! I walk on pavements for pedestrians with my headphones on and if they are cycling at speed up behind me on pavements not for cyclists i can't hear them coming and have been clipped many a time by them but they shouldn't be on the pavement in the first place. I say your of an age where you should be old enough to ride on the road or would you like a little bell to go "ding ding" to keep you safe.
Another aspect of keeping fit is jogging. I had a jogger running next to me for quite a while also yesterday, i was walking. Just cause your were raising your feet a little higher than mine doesn't mean your jogging, it just means you look like John Cleese doing the ministry of silly walks sketch. When jogging you actually need to go faster than walking. The other thing that made me laugh about the jogger was they had wrist bands, headband and a jogging water bottle, yeah you don't want to de-hydrate lifting those feet to high do you LOL.

Remember last update i said about Pharell being shown to be a fashion guru with his hat which in fact was 30 years old, well another so called trend setter Rhianna was photographed this week with a lock and chain around her neck and everybody was like "Wow, isn't she a fashion icon and cool" Nope, No she's not. It was done years ago by the late great Mr. Sid Vicious but the YUFF of today don't know of such people like Sid and Malcolm Mclaren and they think these looks are all new. Take a look back through music history kids, nothing in today's music industry is new at all.

Rhianna 2014, Good place to keep your motorbike lock LOL

Our Sid 1977, i prefer Sid's look.

Last week i met my world watched Nephew Leighton Kyle to go out for our usual winter Friday night out in Cardiff. There were a few new places opened since our last little adventure so we decided to try them out. First off we started at The Crwys pub where i found i couldn't see people unlike the child from Sixth Sense who could see people and dead people, I had forgotten my contacts and my glasses, great start. So my non-world watched Nephew Kyle had to pop them in to me, many thanks that man, i could now see the quiz machines LOL. Onward to The Woody, lost on quiz machine, bugger! Then the Pen & Wig where i had the most disgusting pint ever, tasted bad, smelt bad and in fact put me off drinking that night.
Next stop was a new bar called "Porters". I really liked this place, it had a cinema room showing E.T. and basically the bar had opened almost as it was just an empty shell with a bar area and a few pics on the wall, that's it and basic furniture. The floor was just rough concrete, no ceiling just all the wiring and duct work showing and a few LED strings of light but it worked really well. In the corner was a stage where a rather large gentleman stepped up on to and started singing. Now, i like live music but singing to a backing track isn't live music, it's advanced karaoke. We were amazed at the singer. No not cause he was good it was because he started off by singing "Barcelona" by Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballé. Straight away it took me back to Peter Kay's "That Peter Kay Thing - The Club". They had Talent Trek 1999 on it and there was an duo called Coffee & Cream but only the female half had turned up and they were meant to be singing "Don't go breaking my heart " - Elton John & Kiki Dee. So she sang her part but there was silence on his part and she just stood there. Well, that's what Barcelona was like, this guy would sing Freddies part but it was then silent on Montserrats part. I was crying, not just at the ambitious bad singing but seeing this guy stood in silence when you know a female singer should be up there, just classic comedy gold but this was meant to be serious.
I dried my eyes and we headed on.
Next in our bar crawl was where the Hard Rock Cafe used to be which is now called "The Brewhouse" where a proper live band were playing and we met Leightons world unknown friend John. Bit of a strange bar this. The bar was good, the band looked good, all the people were old enough to know good music but i did notice one obvious thing, almost all the women had moustaches. I'm not just saying that for comedy value, they did. Blimey, they made Magnum P.I.'s moustache look like bum fluff lol. Anyway the band started off. First they played The Killers - Mr. Brightside then Kings of Leon - Use Somebody, this is more like it. Of course it didn't last, after 2 songs and only a handfull of people dancing in a packed bar they decided to play "I'll be there for you" from Friends and then even more horror after that The Rednecks - Cotton Eyed Joe, the bar went crazy and everyone was dancing about, they must have been from The Valleys, Shoot me now. Time to go
On to a new club called The Bunker. This sounded promising but also a bit weird as it was pop/indie in one half of the club and in the other pop/rock. When has pop ever gone with indie or rock? It was a club split in to 2 but without any doors between the 2 clubs so it took time for your hearing to adjust to work out what song was on as you walk from one club in to the other. We walked in to the pop/rock side first and we were hit with Slipknot - "Psychosocial", heavy but cool. We got our drinks and walked through the archway in to the pop/indie side only to be met with the song "Scandalous" by Mis Teeq. Wo, wo, wo. Hang on there. Slipknot to Mis Teeq. Is this Punk'd? I quickly turned back in to the rock room. I was quite happy in there having a Mosh (Dance for punk/rock lovers) when Leighton comes and drags me in to the other room to dance with him and John. As i was man handle on to the dancefloor it took time for my ears to adjust to see what song was playing, Kanye West - "Golddigger", REALLY? You drag me away from the rock dance floor where Limp Bizkit was playing to stand on a dance floor listening to Kanye West. Leighton, how dare you involve me with the murder of music. I was dragged your honour, i had nothing to do with it LOL.
I went back to the rock room and started to feel hungry so i bid my farewell as i didn't feel like drinking and was hungry, headed back to my sisters house and on the way picking up a Donner Kebab Pizza. that is the best food after a night out, best of both foods. Pizza base with tomato, cheese and basil topped with strips of Donner Kebab meat, yummy!

When i Arrived in Cardiff on the Friday before our night out i noticed the new library and decided to have a look around, its huge. 5 floors of computers, books, papers, microfilm and reading areas. It is so nice in there i couldn't believe it.

It shows now how many Romanians are in Cardiff, they now have their own book section.

Many years ago in my YUFF i started playing field hockey for my school. Our team won every single tournament we entered. We beat all comers from Wales and England. We were and i have to say this, AMAZING! I was the net minder, well, the goals are very small in field hockey so it was ok. There was none of the padding they use now, all i had was kickers to go over my trainers, wicket keeper pads for legs, wicket keeper gloves and a face mask like out of "Halloween". No blocking pad or chest plate or neck pad, it was very basic in those days but i loved it cause the net minder could just take players out and i never got booked, how cool is that. Violent play but no penalties, bonus!
When we were at our height of success we were added to a book about the history of Cardiff. 3 of us went on to play for Wales and one of those was me. Very proud of that. So being as i was in the library i thought i would have a look for the book and here it is.

Now which one is me? I think the height may give it away LOL

Myself and Helen popped in to Cardiff for St.Davids Day and watched the parade It was pretty good, lots going on, little stalls with hade made goods and a parade with bands and floats, it helped that the sun was out. Cardiff is always great when the sun is out, guess its like anywhere. I've never heard anyone say anywhere in the world "This place looks so much better in the rain".

 The pic here is of 5 welsh icons that were in the parade, can you name them?

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UK cocktails, What a rip off. People think that you get full measures of each ingredient and that they are good value for money. Nope, WRONG! Any cocktail with a number of spirits can not exceed a double measure or they can contain as large a measure as the bar wants to give. Now no bar wants to give profits away so they will give as little as they have to to gain a better profit margin. And when i saw the price of these cocktails compared to mine i was amazed. £5.25 for a cocktail with a double measure in it. Blimey, you can get my strongest cocktail with 7 measures in it for £3.75. Britain is a total rip off when it comes to cocktails but they say your not paying for the drink your paying for the time it takes to make it. If that was the case i should be charging a tenner for a fresh ingredient Mojito. don't panic, i won't be changing my prices ha ha.

You must be crazy if you pay these prices.

Tea shops are very popular it seems these days in Cardiff, in every arcade i walked through there were rows of seats lined up outside tea shops, no one sat in the seats as its to bloody cold but there were loads of them.

This one is in Castle Arcade.

This one is in Royal Arcade. Who's that visiting a tea shop?

Oh my god even Daleks have become sophisticated visiting tea shops.

This did make me laugh. In the same arcade as the last tea shop shown there is a shop that just sells cheese (no Wallace & Gromit weren't in here). It had a great name "Madame Fromage" even a cheese shop in french sounds good. Doesn't sound so good in English, Mrs. Cheese. Sounds like a doctor for foot fungus, Alan Partridge knows her LOL

Many many years ago when i first went to Zakynthos people were asking on the net where they can buy Mythos in the UK. I searched and searched on the net for days and came up with only one place all those years ago and it was in Cardiff. Wally's Deli, you could buy them in shop or they could be delivered. If you look closely at the bottom right you can still see the Mythos bottles there today, hope they're not the same ones.

The UK press make me laugh cause they're a bit of a joke really. We get one day of sun last weekend and the headlines are "Hotter than the Greek Isles". Yes for 3 hours but in total Britain is wetter than a fishes wet bits and colder than a penguins ass. Try telling the people who still can't live in their homes that Britain is better than the Med, i think they may disagree with you there. You can see it now after this weeks sunshine "Hosepipe Ban".

Well, well, well whats this that's been left of my doorstep. Its a Meerpup. Awwwwww! His name is Oleg and he comes from...............hang on, I've seen this pup somewhere before. That's it, he belongs to Aleksandr and Sergei, they've abandoned him. How could they. I thought they were kind Meerkats, wheres the number for meerkat protection line LOL.

You will be pleased to know that i know have everything bought for the refurbishment of Oceanic (Thank God). Its come from all over the place, America, China, Sweden and Chorley. My delivery service are going to love me this season as got so much to send over and that's without the stuff i have to buy when on the island. I haven't even chose what floor tiles I'm having aggghhhhh! I'm sure it will all come together by the 1st of May.

I have to say sorry now to a few people who were expecting a South Wales meet up, I just haven't got my head round it to do it. I've been trying to find work to keep myself occupied as i get bored very easily sat here doing nothing, its not me just sitting around and then my mind has been on the bar and what to do with it so the meet up went completely out the window but i promise it will happen next winter. Anyway i don't think all of us have boats to get here what with all the rain and floods ha ha.

So again another 2 1/2 hours of writing come to an end. Yes it does take that long as i write a stream of consciousness then add the pics then re-read it all and edit. It is a long process for such little writing but its nice for me to do as its like a history of my life since i took on Oceanic, my family can see what i'm doing and i hope it gives my readers a bit of light hearted reading and a giggle. At the moment i get over 2000 blog readers each update which i feel blessed to have, its not many compared to huge websites but for little old me thats more than enough.

So until my last update before i head back to Zakynthos i shall leave you with my usual sign off,

Serve All, Love All, Peace all, Kevlar Out!